weddings

The Middle of the Road Ceremony

 in Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged elopement style wedding / personalized ceremony / personalized wedding / Vow exchange / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

The middle of the road ceremony that I call a Vow Exchange Ceremony might be the perfect solution for you. Perfect if you’re planning an intimate gathering of up to 20 people and want a short and sweet ceremony to join you in marriage. A Vow Exchange can be personalized by writing your own vows or selecting from some options I provide. It can include a ring exchange if you wish.

I offer three distinct kinds of ceremonies to meet everyone’s needs. Most ceremonies I create with clients are full, custom ceremonies. I work with couples over at least 5 months (and often much longer) to create a fully personalized ceremony. But sometimes that’s more than what you want or need. At the other end of the spectrum is a Certificate Signing Ceremony which is the minimum required for legal marriage in Minnesota. The Vow Exchange is the middle of the road ceremony. Perhaps you don’t like being the center of attention. Maybe this is a second or subsequent marriage for you and you don’t want a typical wedding extravaganza experience. It may be that you want to be married relatively quickly. Or perhaps an elopement style ceremony just fits you best at this moment in your lives.

Whatever the reason, I’ve seen increased requests for a Vow Exchange ceremony, and I’m happy to offer it. Lasting only about 5 – 7 minutes, it honors the commitment you are making to each other marriage, and includes all the essential aspects of a wedding ceremony. These ceremonies can take place in your home, outside in a park (weather permitting), or in a private room in a restaurant.

Some couples dress formally for a Vow Exchange. My most recent couple donned a tuxedo and white formal dress for theirs. But others opt for a more casual vibe, and it all works. Guests usually are limited to family or very close friends – again, a gathering of up to approximately 20 people. Most often there is no musical accompaniment, no processional and no wedding party. We simply gather your guests around so everyone can hear, and begin the ceremony.

All that said, a Vow Exchange Ceremony is still a significant and often emotional experience. Just because you don’t spend a year or more and tens of thousands of dollars planning your ceremony doesn’t make the moment any less a milestone moment in your life. Smiles and happy tears often abound as the couple makes their promises to each other. The world stops for a few moments as a commitment intended for a lifetime is shared.

Please reach out to me if you’re planning a wedding ceremony of any kind in the coming months, and I’ll be happy to discuss options with you. Perhaps you’ll find that the Vow Exchange, the middle of the road ceremony option, is the perfect fit for you.

Rejecting Ceremony Traditions

 in Ceremony / Personalized Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding traditions  tagged personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding traditions / weddings by

Rejecting ceremony traditions when designing your wedding is sometimes a good thing to consider. Traditions can be wonderful and memorable, but can also be outdated or downright offensive. Selectively choosing the ceremony traditions that are meaningful to you allows the ceremony to be truly representative of you as a couple.

There are four ceremony traditions in particular that you will want to consider either jettisoning or significantly reworking.

  1. Giving away the bride. This tradition dates from the time when women were considered chattel to be passed from father to husband. If you choose to leave it out of your ceremony no one will miss it. If it’s important for some reason to include some version of it, consider having the celebrant ask, “Who supports this couple in their choice to marry?” All parents can stand and respond, “We all do.”
  2. Including, “love, honor and obey” in the vows. This can be easily modified to replace “obey” with “cherish”. Or select or write personal vows unique to the two of you.
  3. Including prayers or readings from holy books. If you’re planning a secular or non-religious ceremony but want to include a reading there are many lovely passages in literature and popular culture on love, marriage, friendship, and commitment that can be used.
  4. Having your celebrant offer a sermon or homily. Rejecting this traditional part of the wedding ceremony leaves space for sharing parts of your story as a couple, celebrating the love that has brought you to this moment.

Rejecting ceremony traditions makes sense if you find the tradition offensive in some way, or you just don’t want to spend time on it. Removing or modifying traditions does not take away from the ceremony experience. In fact, it can make the ceremony more personal and more interesting. Keep the focus on you as a couple, your values, your love and your commitment to each other in marriage.

Colorful Weddings

 in Personalization / Uncategorized / Wedding Party / Wedding traditions / Weddings  tagged colorful wedding / personalized wedding / wedding fashion / weddings by


Colorful weddings often refer to bright hues selected for bridesmaids’ dresses, table settings or possibly for flowers. But don’t leave the brides and grooms colorless. Yes, elegant neutrals for the women, and black or navy for the men will always have a place in wedding fashion. But how about a bride in black with a purple underskirt, or a groom in brightly colored argyle socks. I’ve seen both in recent weddings, and they are a great way to let your personality shine.

White wedding gowns have been popular since Queen Victoria chose one for her 1840 wedding to Prince Albert. On recent runways we’ve seen pastels in blue, pink and green plus some delicate floral options for wedding gowns.
But brides are making choices to reflect their personalities and passions. Such was the case with last years bride selecting a black dress with purple underskirt. It fit perfectly with her near gothic sensibilities and Metallica ceremony music.

A black and purple wedding dress for a colorful wedding

Just last week I was speaking with a couple planning a ceremony for later this year. The bride informed me that she would be wearing a black and red gown. Everyone in the wedding party will be dressed in those hues, making for a very bold and colorful wedding.

Let’s not leave the gentlemen out of the opportunity for colorful attire, though. I’m not suggesting the pale blue tuxes of the early ’80’s, but men can add a punch of color to their wedding finery. The argyle socks I mentioned above are an option, but the Green Bay Packer socks worn by the groom and all his groomsmen are another. There was no question who the groom rooted for, even here in Viking country. Ties and vests are other easy ways for men to add a punch of color. Within the last year I’ve seen bold plaid ties, soft floral ties and vests in a variety of colors.

Colorful weddings are a way to express yourselves, to share a passion or interest, or to bring just a bit of whimsy to a day that can feel very formal and sometimes stiff. If your personality is more lighthearted or you just want to dress in your favorite color, don’t feel constrained by tradition. Colorful weddings are becoming more common and are also more memorable. They make for great pictures, too. So feel free to express yourself with your fashion choices.

A Personalized Wedding Ceremony

 in Personalization / Personalized Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged personal ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

A personalized wedding ceremony can mean different things to different people. I had the opportunity last month to perform one of the most personalized ceremonies I’ve ever created. It’s also the first ceremony I’ve performed on an ice rink!

This wonderful couple had been friends for quite a few years, when he invited her to go ice skating one day. Not being a skater, she relied on him to support her on the ice and teach her basic skills. But something more important happened that first day – they began to move their relationship beyond friendship. Through the coming years they continued to skate together, and their romance blossomed, too. Then a year ago, on the anniversary of their first skating date, he proposed marriage to her on that very ice rink. And she said yes.

This wonderful couple wanted a personal, intimate wedding, but wanted it to reflect them and their story. They contacted me asking if I would marry them on that special anniversary date this year. They also wanted me to marry them on their ice rink where it all began. Sometimes couples who have such a unique and interesting vision for their wedding plan an extravaganza of a wedding day. Not so for this couple. In fact they wanted this to be a totally personal and private experience.

Since our state requires two witnesses for a legal marriage, they asked their photographer and my husband to be the witnesses. So, on a snowy Saturday evening in January the four of us gathered at the indoor ice rink for the ceremony. They provided a carpet for me to walk onto the ice to join them. I really appreciated that as it’s been literally decades since I strapped on a pair of skates. They skated toward me; the bride in a white satin dress and knit bolero to try to stay warm and the groom looking dapper in his jacket, hat and scarf.

In a personalized wedding ceremony written for them, I reminded them of their beginning on the ice. We reflected on skating as an apt metaphor for marriage. They spoke thoughtful vows and exchanged rings. I offered good wishes for their marriage and pronounced them married, upon which they circled the rink together a few times to celebrate their marriage.

While originally planned for just the couple, their photographer and required witness, this couple did invite their parents to observe the ceremony from the stands at the last minute. As this couple demonstrates, a personalized wedding ceremony makes the event more memorable, more special, and totally unique to them. Having the opportunity to create such a novel ceremony was a treat for me, and fun for all of us.

Defining Your Ceremony Vision

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Vows  tagged officiant / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by

Defining your ceremony vision can seem like a daunting task. This is likely the first time you’ve considered what you want in your wedding ceremony. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. A good celebrant will be genuinely interested in meeting you and discussing your ceremony wishes. Here are three ways you can prepare for that meeting and tackle the process of defining your ceremony vision.

  1. First, consider what you’ve seen in other weddings. Think about those moments when you thought, “That’s special. I would like to have something like that at my wedding.” Or, on the flip side, maybe you saw something that you knew you definitely did not want at your ceremony. Both are good to share with your celebrant.
  2. Next, talk about your vows with your fiance(e). Your exchange of vows will be the highlight of the ceremony as you make your promises to one another. But there are a number of ways to accomplish that. You can write your own vows if you want them to be totally personal and unique. If that doesn’t fit your style, your celebrant will likely be able to offer sample vows in the “repeat after me” style that you can choose from. Or perhaps you’re very shy or maybe English isn’t your first language and you prefer to respond to the celebrant with a simple, “I do”. Since vows are so important in a wedding ceremony, identifying the vow style you prefer is a key part of defining your ceremony vision.
  3. Finally, before meeting with your celebrant, discuss the length and tone you want for your ceremony. I often hear, “We want a short and sweet ceremony.” But what does that mean to you? Ten minutes, 20 or more? Knowing the time frame you want will help your celebrant guide you in terms of ceremony content and flow. And what about the ceremony tone? Do you want a romantic and more serious ceremony? Perhaps you prefer a lighthearted ceremony and think that some laughter is essential. Maybe involving family members is important to you, or conversely, maybe you want to keep the focus on the two of you and your path to this moment.

Defining your ceremony vision is as simple as following these three steps. Doing so will help ensure that your wedding ceremony reflects your priorities and your personalities, and is memorable and fitting for the two of you.