weddings

Fall Weddings – Embrace the Season

 in Decor / Guests / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged fall colors / fall weddings / weddings by

Fall Weddings offer beautiful colors and relief from the heat of summer, but have challenges of their own. September and October have become some of the busiest months for weddings in our area. June and July, traditionally the busiest time, have been uncomfortably hot in recent years, helping drive the interest in fall gatherings.

September weddings can be particularly tricky as some of our warmest weather has occurred during the first weeks of the month. I remember an early September ceremony in the lower gardens at Plummer House that had many guests scurrying to look for some shade. While we think of September as part of the fall season, especially if you’re planning a wedding early in the month, you’ll want to be prepared for heat, too. Consider options for shade for your guests. Provide paper fans and/or bottled water to help them stay comfortable. And remember the potential for really hot weather when choosing attire for your wedding party. Short dresses for women, and shirts and suspenders for the men may be great choices.

Embracing the colors of the season

Later September into October brings changeable weather to our area. You’ll want to be prepared for anything from high 40’s to mid-70 degree temperatures. And don’t forget the wind, which turns cool and can make it feel downright cold. But you’ll also get some beautiful fall colors at this time of year. You may choose typical fall colors of golden yellows, reds and oranges, purples or browns for your decor and ceremony colors. Vines and leaves, even pumpkins and gourds can be utilized to bring the season into your wedding experience.

Fall weddings can be as fresh and lovely as the weather. Brilliant colors bring a festive tone to pictures, especially if you are graced with a sunny day. Embracing the fall season and incorporating it into your wedding theme will make for a memorable experience.

Small Medium or Large?

 in Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Party / Wedding planning  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding party / weddings by

Does a small, medium or large wedding party best fit your wedding day vision? There is no right or wrong answer. But there are many considerations in choosing the size of your wedding party. The topic deserves careful review and discussion early in your planning process.

A large wedding party, five or more sets of attendants can be a party within the party of your wedding day. You’ll be surrounded by a larger group of people who are important to you. Ideally, more hands make for lighter work. They can all share the many tasks involved in planning for your wedding day. Even on the day itself there are many details that need tending to, and these folks can take some of the load off you and your families.

However, larger wedding parties also have some down sides. They are harder to keep focused. You’ll spend more time tracking down the missing attendant for pictures, for the grand march, and more. Large wedding parties are also more expensive. The cost of gifts for 10 or more will add up. If you’re considering covering the cost of make-up and hair styling for your party, the cost can be significant. If you’re looking to provide transportation for the wedding party you’ll need more cars or a larger van or bus.

For some couples, a small wedding party, zero to 2 sets of attendants, is the right answer. This option reverses the pros and cons noted above. It also provides a more intimate and streamlined experience. Small wedding parties allow the focus to stay on you as a couple. They are often perfect for shy or introverted couples, and for second or subsequent weddings. If you’re opting for an intimate wedding experience with a smaller guest list, a small wedding party is a great way to begin.

A medium sized wedding party is defined as three to five attendants for each of you. It is the most common size for wedding parties, and can be ideal if you are looking to minimize the cost and complexities while maximizing the support and fun considerations.

When choosing the size of your wedding party – small, medium or large, remember that it is no longer necessary to have the same number of attendants for each of you. You can each also select your attendants regardless of gender. Creative planning for your wedding party allows anything to work. Surround yourselves with the people most important to you, but consider how your wedding party – be it small, medium or large – fits into the vision you have for your wedding day.

Sharing Observations From an Unexpected Wedding

 in Guests / Rituals / Wedding Ceremony  tagged ushers / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by


Sharing observations from an unexpected wedding I stumbled across last weekend. A wedding took place at the resort I was visiting for a family gathering. It was a unique opportunity to observe a ceremony that I wasn’t performing. Here are some things I noted that you might want to consider for your own ceremony.

  1. Have your celebrant invite people to stand and sit at appropriate times. There was a lengthy interaction between the couple and their parents at the beginning of the ceremony. The guests were visibly shifting around, not sure if they should stand or be seated during it. Eventually the celebrant did invite people to be seated, but they would have been able to see what was happening in front if they had been seated before this ritual.
  2. Make sure your ushers know what you want them to do. This couple had four ushers which should have been more than adequate. However, they were standing around socializing before the ceremony and did not help move guests toward the seats. They also did not hold late arrivals during the processional, so a couple walked part way up the aisle between the seating of the mothers and the entrance of the wedding party.
  3. Consider allowing the women in your wedding party to select their own dresses, coordinating only by color. All seven female attendants had obviously selected their own dresses. Some were tea length, others floor length. I saw chiffon, lace, jersey, and satin, all in a peachy champagne color. The maid of honor wore a darker, almost brown velvet dress that coordinated but allowed her to stand out. Taking this approach with your attendants allows them each to feel comfortable and beautiful as they support you throughout the day.
  4. Explain any rituals or actions included in the ceremony. After the exchange of vows and rings, the couple stepped to a small table at the back of the ceremony space. I have no idea what they did there as nothing was explained and it was difficult to see. A simple introduction by the celebrant would have made this more meaningful.
  5. Help your guests know where to go/what comes next after the ceremony. Remember those ushers I mentioned above? At the end of the ceremony they remained seated in their back row instead of releasing the guests from their rows. There also as no announcement made to tell the guests where to go immediately following the ceremony. The all remained seated for a few awkward moments before some guests in the middle of the chairs stood up and started to leave the space. Others followed, but having the ushers facilitate the exit would have been pleasant for the guests.

A ceremony was not on my agenda for our family gathering last weekend. But I hope that sharing observations from an unexpected wedding will provide some food for thought as you plan your special day.

Dealing with Unruly Guests

 in Guests / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged unruly guests / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

Dealing with unruly guests is occasionally a necessity at weddings. The need can arise from a variety of situations. Recently I became aware of an aunt who was sitting in the seats reserved for the groom’s parents. When family members suggested she move to another row of seats, she declined. I approached her and explained these seats were reserved for the parents who would be walking in at the beginning of the ceremony. She said they could sit elsewhere. I explained again and politely insisted that she move from those seats. She reluctantly moved.

Your celebrant can help in this kind of situation when it happens before the ceremony begins. Make sure you let them know where you want honored guests (parents, grandparents, etc) seated. Before the ceremony begins they can help ensure things are as you wish them to be.

Another helper in dealing with unruly guests is an usher. If you let them know who is to be seated in reserved seating, they can help ensure everyone is where you want them to be. Ushers can also handle late arriving guests. They can ensure that the late arrivals stay in the back until the processional is finished, and then help them discretely find seats. If a guest becomes disruptive during the ceremony an usher can assist them to leave the ceremony space.

Perhaps you have a family member or friend who is known to be disruptive. Perhaps they have a substance abuse issue, or are generally difficult. Asking another family member or friend to be their “buddy” for the day can help. This “minder” can stay close, and if the guest becomes loud, aggressive or disruptive, they can escort the person from the wedding.

For serious situations, you might even consider hiring professional security. I’ve had situations where an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend had caused trouble in the past. The couple was concerned they would show up and cause a disturbance at the wedding. They wanted them kept out of the venue altogether and hired security to remove that worry from their minds.

You can’t anticipate every situation that could occur when you’ve gathered a large group of family and friends. But knowing your guests and thinking through the possibilities makes dealing with unruly guests easier. Make sure to inform your wedding party, ushers, vendors, and celebrant about any concerns so we can help ensure a disruption free day for you.

Community Celebration of Marriage

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Vow Renewals / Wedding Ceremony  tagged celebration of marriage / community celebration / vow renewal ceremonies / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

The idea of a community celebration of marriage is increasing in popularity for couples that have been married in small, private ceremonies. Covid has forced many couples to opt for a small, legal marriage when larger gatherings were not safe or possible. With restrictions easing, some couples are choosing to celebrate their marriage with family and friends now.

Small gathering due to Covid restrictions

In cases where you’re already legally married, you can, of course, opt to just host a party or reception. Choosing to include a ceremony in the community celebration, however, allows you to voice your promises to one another surrounded by the important people in your lives. Your exchange of vows (and optionally, rings) is the heart of any wedding day. Why not include it in a belated celebration you plan with family and friends?

This kind of ceremony is technically a Vow Renewal ceremony, since you’ve already exchanged some level of vows when you legally wed. But it can look like any other wedding ceremony. You can include a processional, wedding party, reading, love story, exchange of vow and rings, a unity ritual, and any other ceremony elements that are meaningful to you. The only difference will be that your celebrant will not “pronounce” you married. Instead they may say something like, “It is my honor to publicly announce that you are married,” or “It is my honor to present to you as a married couple…”. Working with a celebrant you can make your ceremony as personal and unique or as traditional as you wish.

Venue set for large wedding ceremony

Couples who married during the pandemic do not need to be cheated of the community celebration of marriage. After all, marriage is a social construct and benefits greatly from being recognized and celebrated with your community of family and friends.