wedding

Receiving Line or Alternatives

 in Ceremony / Guests / Weddings  tagged receiving line / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

A receiving line is the traditional way for you to greet your guests immediately following your wedding ceremony. But you have alternatives, choices and modifications available to you today. A traditional receiving line involves you, your parents and your wedding party lined up at the back of your ceremony venue to greet and receive the congratulations of your guests. It serves the purpose of ensuring that you have at least a moment to speak directly with each of your guests. Depending on the size of your guest list it can be tricky to ensure that you connect with absolutely everyone during the less formal parts of your wedding day, but some people find the traditional receiving line to be artificial, uncomfortable and slow.

If you like the concept of a receiving line for the benefit of connecting with everyone, you can move things along and simplify the experience by having only you two and your parents form the line. This relieves your attendants of the awkward moment of making small talk with many strangers (as they likely don’t know many of your guests). Make the experience even more personal (and the line move even more quickly) by limiting it to only you and your new spouse. Your parents and attendants can circulate among your guests, help people find the social hour venue, and generally get the party started.

Especially if you have a smaller number of guests, say 100 or fewer, you may want to eliminate the receiving line altogether. In this case, you will need to make a concerted effort to speak with each guest during the festivities following the ceremony. As hosts of the event, you will want to thank them for coming to share in your special day. As the focal point of the day, your guests will want at least a moment to express their best wishes to you. One way to ensure you speak with everyone is to make the rounds while your guests are seated for dinner. If you’re having a “stand up” reception or if you think you can keep track of everyone during informal moments like the social hour, you can chat with people then, too.

It’s a great idea to consider all wedding traditions and then decide which of them you wish to include in your wedding day. It’s fine to have a receiving line if it makes your day easier, or to opt for a less formal way to engage with your guests. Whatever you choose, you’ll want to touch base with all your guests to celebrate with the people who came to share your special day.

Meaningful Rituals: Your Wedding Ceremony, Part 3

 in Ceremony / Guests / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged personalized rituals / personalized wedding / unity ritual / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding rituals / weddings by

Meaningful rituals can raise your wedding ceremony from interesting to truly memorable. Over the last two weeks we’ve talked about ways to make your ceremony uniquely yours by starting with the basics and using thoughtful choices of music and readings to reflect your personalities and interests. Choosing to include meaningful rituals is yet another way to make your ceremony your own.

Ring Warming, courtesy of Midwest Life Shots

Starting early in your ceremony, a ring warming ritual can bring your guests into the ceremony in a real way. Sending your rings among your guests to be imbued with their love and best wishes for you, this ritual happens in parallel as your ceremony continues. Or later in the ceremony, having your guests imbue pebbles with their wishes can create a memento of your ceremony.

Unity rituals that celebrate your exchange of vows are common these days, but the ritual itself doesn’t have to be. Love letters, tree plantings, handfastings, and flower blendings are all newer, interesting rituals with lovely symbolism. If your a traditionalist a candle lighting or sand blending can be made special and personal with add-ons and personal wording, too.

Love Letters

The absolute most meaningful rituals are those created expressly for you. Working with your celebrant you can celebrate your heritage, honor a special moment from your courtship, or share a part of your life through a custom written unity ritual. Examples I’ve written for couples include ice cream sharing, Turkish tea brewing, cairn creation, and whiskey sharing. In each case we were able to share something significant about the couple as part of the ritual, letting the guests know them a little better and creating a memorable moment.

Investing yourselves to collaborate with your celebrant you can define the outline of your ceremony, including those elements that are meaningful to you. You can share your personalities through selecting music and readings that you love or that represent your feelings toward each other. And you can select or create meaningful rituals to draw your guests into your ceremony and celebrate your love and commitment as a couple in a memorable way.

As 2020 couples begin to engage with celebrants to craft ceremonies you are limited only by the creativity of you and your celebrant. Have fun as you make your ceremonies uniquely your own.

Starting With the Basics: Your Wedding Ceremony, Part 1

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony requirements / legal requirements / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Starting with the basics and understanding the requirements of your wedding ceremony is a good place to start when considering your ceremony wishes.. There are many misconceptions around what must and what may be included in your ceremony, so let’s start at the beginning.

Marriage laws are written by each state, and define what must be included to constitute a legal marriage. In Minnesota, the requirements are quite simple. You must:

  • obtain your legal marriage license and wedding certificate from a Minnesota county office. Note: They are valid for six months, so plan accordingly.
  • secure the services of an officiant/celebrant who is registered with the state.
  • have IDs to present, along with the paperwork to your officiant/celebrant.
  • have 2 witnesses, over the age of 16, present for the wedding. They, too, will need IDs.
  • Say that you want to be married to each other. This can be a response to a simple question, or vows you repeat or recite.
  • have your officiant/celebrant return the signed legal paperwork to the county within 5 business days.

That’s the bare minimum requirements to have a legal wedding that results in a marriage that is recognized and registered in the State of Minnesota. There are fees involved in getting your paperwork from the county and for your officiant/celebrant’s services, and there are requirements you must meet to obtain your paperwork. But the actual “wedding” can be very simple and quick.

Sometimes people choose this option, I call it a Certificate Signing, because they’ve been married before and don’t want another big wedding. Sometimes it is because they’ve been together for many years, and while they want to make their partnership legal, they don’t want a big fuss. Sometimes a couple needs to be legally married quickly – often to gain insurance coverage – and are planning a celebration with family and friends at a later date.

One of the most interesting reasons couples choose a simple Certificate Signing is if they are planning a destination wedding out of the country. It can be very time consuming, expensive and complex to understand and meet the marriage laws outside the US. These couples take care of the legalities here at home and then have a ceremony and celebration in the other country without having to worry about the process and paperwork there.

Starting with the basics, understanding what is required in our state to marry, is only the beginning. If you are planning to celebrate with family and friends you likely want something more in your wedding ceremony. But how do you know what to include? In the next few weeks I’ll share some of the many options you can consider for your wedding ceremony and discuss how they fit together and why you may want them in your ceremony.

Starting Your Ceremony on Time: Why and How

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony / ceremony start time / on time weddings / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Starting your ceremony on time may seem like an impossible task, but with a little planning and assistance it can and should be done. Your wedding ceremony is usually the first event of your wedding day that everyone participates in – you as a couple, your wedding party and the family and friends you’ve invited to share your special day. That means there are many activities yet to come – social hour, toasts, dinner, cake cutting, the first dance, and more. If you begin your ceremony late it will throw the entire day off schedule which can result in uncomfortable guests, cold or overcooked food, and stress for you as you try to make up time.

So that’s the “why” behind the goal of starting your ceremony on time. Now, with so many moving parts, how do you achieve your goal? Following the suggestions below will help:

  1. Plan, plan, plan. Make sure you know how many hair and make-up stylists will be working with your wedding party. Ask your photographer how much time to allow for family pictures, wedding party pictures, first look pictures, etc. Ask your musicians and officiant how far they will arrive in advance of the ceremony time in order to be ready on time.
  2. Now take all the information you’ve gathered and make a schedule for your day – all the activities from when you wake up in the morning to the start of the processional. (Note: you might want your schedule to go through the evening, too, to keep things moving along.) Then add buffer to most or all of the tasks. For example, if you’re planning to spend 2 hours with your attendants getting hair and make-up done, plan for at least 2 1/2. If photographs are scheduled to end at 3pm, plan for them to end at 3:15 or even 3:30pm. If everything runs to the original plan, you’ve built yourself time to catch your breath, have a drink of water, or spend a few special minutes together and alone before the ceremony begins. These are all good things.
  3. Ask for assistance from family, friends and your wedding party to keep things moving. Impress on your attendants the need to stick to the schedule. If one of your attendants is known for being late, partner him with another attendant who can keep him on schedule. If you aren’t having ushers, ask a couple of friends or family members to act as ceremony hosts. They can direct guests to restrooms and the ceremony space, and most importantly, they can help encourage guests to take their seats starting 10 – 15 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Your officiant should take care of gathering the wedding party and organizing them for the processional, and interface with your musicians so everything is ready to begin on time.

I love to begin ceremonies at the scheduled time, but remain flexible so the guest who arrives as we’re getting ready to walk has a moment to find a seat, or the flower girl who decides she needs a last restroom stop is accommodated. But starting your ceremony on time is a priority for me, and we are usually underway within a couple of minutes of the scheduled time. Starting your ceremony on time is respectful of your guests who may be sitting in the hot sun, or chilly wind. It is respectful to the vendors you’ve hired for the day. It is also a stress reliever for you as the day can unfold gracefully and without constant pressure to catch up. Make it a priority, and starting your ceremony on time CAN happen.

Leveraging The Season

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Weddings  tagged personalized wedding / seasonal weddings / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Leveraging the season is a great way to make your wedding ceremony feel timely and current. Decor, flowers, even the colors you choose can focus your day on the time of year you are marrying. If you have a favorite season and have chosen that for your wedding, even better!

A recent harvest themed wedding I officiated included pumpkins and mums. The bride is a very outdoors person, and table decorations included cross sections of a tree with deer antlers, flowers and candles. Pumpkins marked the entrance to the venue (in this case, decorated with the logos of the sports teams they follow). Huge burgundy mums on pedestals marked the ceremony space, and the bridesmaids wore burgundy dresses. The bouquets were mixed fall flowers from the bride’s garden. All these touches effectively leveraged the current season and the interests of the couple.

A winter wedding from a few years ago relied on ice blue and silver to accent the overall white theme of the day. Flowers, dresses, table decor, even the cake followed the winter wonderland theme fitting in perfectly with the frigid January day. A winter solstice themed wedding celebrated the return of the sun with its light and warmth.

Spring offers all kinds of themes from growth and rejuvenation to the Spring Equinox and fresh light colors. Seed packets can be gifted to guests to plant and a tree can be planted as your unity ritual. Perhaps a refreshing Spring themed cocktail can serve as the signature drink.

Summer weddings offer the opportunity to celebrate the long, warm days being experienced. There is a reading that begins, “Now in midsummer, a wedding…” which may be a perfect selection. Fans for your guests to stay cool during the ceremony make great favors, and decor in the rich, vibrant colors of summer fits right in. Offering cold water or lemonade before your ceremony can set the right tone.

If you met during the season you are marrying, got engaged during this time of year, or have birthdays around the wedding date those ideas can all be integrated into your ceremony and your day. Finding ways to connect the season to your relationship allows you to make the ceremony and your wedding day even more personal.

Whatever month you choose to marry, leveraging the season helps with your budget as you utilize nature and decor – think flowers in season – and allows you to customize and personalize your wedding day in myriad ways.