wedding

Writing Personal Vows

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged personal ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding vows / weddings by

Writing personal vows for your wedding ceremony is a great way to share your love, commitment, and personalities. There are multiple options to accomplish this so you’ll be able to find one that is comfortable for you.

Writing personal vows from scratch allows you total control and freedom, but can be a challenge if writing is not your forte. You can make the job easier by following a few simple suggestions:

  1. Limit your vows to eight to ten sentences. This keeps you focused on what you want to say. It leaves you enough space to share your promises and your love for your partner. But if you get emotional this length will not be overwhelming. You’ll have enough space to express yourself without getting too long winded and boring your guests.
  2. Focus on the promises you are making. Don’t allow yourself to get distracted with all the wonderful things you could say about your partner.
  3. Even if you’re keeping your vows secret from your partner until the wedding day, discuss your personal vows before you begin to write. While you don’t want to share the specific words you plan to use, you’ll want to talk about whether or not you want to include humor, for example, or if you prefer to keep your vows more romantic or serious.
  4. When you think you’ve finished writing personal vows, it’s time to read them aloud. This is how you will offer them at the ceremony, and the written word can read very differently than the spoken word is heard. You’ll hear tone and emotion more strongly when the vows are voiced. You’ll also discover repetitive words or concepts more easily when speaking your vows.

If writing personal vows from scratch doesn’t appeal to you, you can still have personal vows by modifying vows you find online (or samples from your celebrant) that appeal to you. Reading these vows to each other, rather than using the more traditional “repeat after me” format will make your vows more personal and potent, too.

And finally, if you’re more comfortable with the “repeat after me” format, you can each choose a vow that really captures the promises you want to make to each other. This is probably the easiest way to personalize your vows.

A recent article in a local magazine, “Rochester Area Wedding” entitled “How to Write Vows that Wow” (see page 26) gives more suggestions for writing personal vows, and provides some great samples and examples, too.

Consider investing some time in writing personal vows for your wedding ceremony – they really are the most important words that will be said during the entire day. Your vows, your promises, your commitments are what your wedding day is all about.

Initial Contact: Where to Begin With Your Celebrant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Weddings  tagged selecting wedding celebrant / wedding / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by

Initial contact with potential wedding celebrants can be challenging for you as a newly engaged couple. You’re searching for the person who will provide you with the ceremony you want for your wedding day. Once you’ve identified potential celebrants via referrals, internet searches or personal experience, it’s time to reach out for the first time.

It may be helpful to remember that celebrants are waiting to hear from you. They look forward to speaking with or engaging with couples looking for a celebrant. They are happy to walk you through the process.

So what do you say/write in an initial contact with a celebrant? It’s best to start by sharing your name, your wedding date and the name/location of your ceremony venue. With this information the celebrant will be able to tell you if they serve the area where your ceremony will be held, and if they are available for your date. If all those items check out, it’s time to move on to the next level of conversation.

At this point your goal is to determine if this celebrant matches your wishes for your ceremony. You’ll want to share anything you know you do or do not want in your ceremony. For example, perhaps you want to write your own vows, or have certain music you want to use. Or possibly you don’t want religion in your ceremony and don’t want to include a unity ritual. The celebrant’s reaction to all these wishes will help determine if they are a good match for you. It’s OK if you don’t have any particular wishes for your ceremony at this point. The celebrant may ask you a few questions during your initial contact that will help them determine if you’re likely a good match.

Before you book any celebrant, though, you’ll want to have an in person meeting where you can chat further. If you’re not geographically co-located, a Skype or Facetime meeting can be used, too. This follow-up meeting is important for two reasons. First, you’ll want to make sure that the celebrant is prepared to create and deliver the kind of ceremony you want for your wedding day. And second, you’ll want to ensure that you are comfortable with the celebrant. You’ll work closely with them and want to feel comfortable asking questions, making your wishes known, and expressing concerns should any arise.

You may feel apprehensive or uncertain when the time comes to reach out to potential celebrants. But you can rest assured that they want to make that initial contact as easy and positive as possible. You’ll generally find friendly, caring, and interested people on the other side of your initial contact. So pick up the phone or write an email to get the ball rolling. We’re waiting to hear from you.

Congratulations!

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Engagement / Weddings  tagged engagement / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by

Congratulations to all of you who are receiving or giving rings this holiday season. Congratulations on choosing to make a public commitment to each other in marriage. As you share the happy news with family and friends in coming days, celebrate the love you’ve found together as you begin to plan your future, too.

Your wedding day will be a big part of that future. It is your opportunity to gather those people most important to you to celebrate with you. It is your opportunity to voice your heartfelt promises to each other in front of those very people. You’ll want your wedding day to be memorable and to reflect who you are as a couple.

Perhaps you will choose an intimate ceremony followed by a big celebration. Or maybe a large gathering to share your entire day fits you best. It’s possible that you will choose a small, low key, ceremony followed by a family dinner as your perfect wedding day. No matter what kind of day you envision for yourself, there will be many details to attend to.

Those details should never overshadow the reason for the day you’re planning. Your love and commitment to build your future together. Even when wedding planning feels overwhelming, it’s a good idea to set it aside and take a walk together or share a special meal where you can reconnect with good conversation, and remind yourselves why you’re planning a wedding in the first place.

If you’re planning a medium to large wedding you’ll want to secure your wedding venue(s) first. Many couples are taking advantage of the varied facilities at local venues to plan their ceremony and reception in one place. This simplifies things for you when planning and allows your guests to only need to locate one venue on the wedding day.

With your venue, and by extension your wedding date established, it will be time to begin to secure the services of the other wedding vendors you’ll need to complete your day. Your photographer, musicians, caterer and florists will all be on the list. Don’t forget to include your wedding celebrant in this early planning, too. Popular wedding dates book very early, so signing contracts or agreement documents with all of us is something you’ll want to close on as soon as possible. Especially if you’re looking at a 2020 wedding date it’s essential to move quickly.

Congratulations again to all newly engaged couples. I hope you have great fun celebrating with family and friends during the days to come. And as we move into the new year, I hope to hear from many of you as you begin to nail down all the plans for your upcoming wedding day!

Unexpected Ceremony Venues

 in Venue / Weddings  tagged creative venues / creative weddings / wedding / wedding venues by

Unexpected ceremony venues can give your wedding day an extra bit of sparkle and interest. Staging your day at a location that speaks to you as a couple is a great way to personalize the entire wedding experience. Looking outside the box when it comes to wedding venues takes a little creative thinking, but can really pay off.

Are you craft beer enthusiasts? Contact local craft breweries to see if they can host your wedding. Locally, Forager has a garden and private rooms that can accommodate smaller, intimate groups. Maybe wine is your thing. We have a number of wineries in southeastern Minnesota that host weddings, including Four Daughters in Spring Valley, Chankaska Ranch and Winery in Mankato, and Cannon River winery.

Winery Venue

Like being in the spotlight? Or maybe you’re an amateur thespian. Check out the rental options at Rochester Civic Theatre and you can be the star of your own show. This couple shared their first date at this very spot and love all things theater, so it was their perfect wedding venue.

Wedding at Rochester Civic Theatre

Campgrounds may be one of the most unexpected ceremony venues I’ve encountered, but it worked perfectly for this couple. They loved to camp, and knew of a picturesque state park where they could reserve a large campsite complete with cabins for their guests. Everyone was invited to stay overnight and keep the celebration going.

Campground venue

Other unexpected ceremony venues to consider are museums and libraries where your guests can be entertained before or after the ceremony. For example, a science museum wedding was the perfect venue for an couple of engineers and their guests. The opportunity to rent an entire B&B or small resort offers a private space and housing for your guests traveling in from out of town.

While traditional wedding venues offer many amenities and can help make your day go smoothly, consider unexpected wedding venues as a way to put a unique stamp on your wedding day.

Including Grandparents in Your Wedding

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Weddings  tagged grandparent memorial / grandparents / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding processional / wedding readings by

Including grandparents in your wedding is a great way to honor your family heritage and to express appreciation to these special people in your life. There are some things to consider, though, when planning for their participation in your wedding.

First, you’ll want to treat all the grandparents who are able to attend your ceremony the same. For example, if it is important to you to have a particular set of grandparents included in your processional, then all grandparents should be included. When deciding whether or not to have your grandparents walk in as part of the processional, you’ll want to consider their preferences, their health and mobility, the venue, and the size of your wedding party.

It’s good to talk to your grandparents about the possibility of walking in the processional, so you learn if they would prefer to stay out of the spotlight or are happy to participate. One reason they may choose not to participate is if their health is fragile or mobility is an issue for them.

Look, too, at the venue. Will you be asking your elders to walk over rocky or uneven ground or walk a significant distance? If so, they may opt out. Finally, look at the size of your wedding party and the length of the processional with and without the grandparents. If you have 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, two ring bearers, three flower girls and a variety of parents and step-parents who will all need to walk in, along with the two of you, before the ceremony can begin, you might opt to leave the grandparents out of the processional.

If you decide not to have the grandparents walk in the formal processional, you’ll still want to have reserved seating for them up front. Don’t forget to let them know about it, too, so they can look for it or tell an usher who will seat them appropriately.

Another great way of including grandparents in your wedding is to have them offer a reading. If you’re fortunate enough to have a set of grandparents who have been married for a long time, perhaps they could share a reading on love or marriage. Guaranteed to not have a dry eye in the group.

But what if your grandparents aren’t able to attend because of health, distance, or because they have died? There are still ways of including your grandparents in your wedding in these situations.

Wedding Memorial Table

You may place a table at the back of the ceremony venue with their pictures and a message like, “In loving memory…Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved and missed, so very dear.” You can include memorial wording in your ceremony or in your program. Or you can include wedding pictures of your parents and grandparents on a special table near your cake in the reception space. All are great ways to remember these wonderful people who played a part in making you the person you are on your wedding day.

Thoughtfully including grandparents in your wedding will add depth and meaning to your day for you and for your guests. It’s a great way to celebrate those who are able to be with you, and to remember those who are not.