wedding

Interesting Wedding Venue Discovery

 in Venue / Weddings  tagged ceremony / wedding / wedding venue by

I discovered an interesting wedding venue in our region last week. While waiting for our dinner cruise to leave the dock in Stillwater, MN I watched guests, the wedding party and finally the bride and groom board the boat next to ours. The sleek, three deck boat was the site for an elegant, all white wedding!

An interesting wedding venue can be great fun, but also requires extra planning and coordination to make sure everything comes together as you envision. Here are a few things to consider:
1. You and your guests will be “captive” on the boat, so it is imperative that everyone arrive on time and can stay for the duration of the event. This may be a good time to plan for a social hour before leaving the dock to allow any late arrivals a chance of joining in the festivities. On the other hand, there are no options for early departures so everyone will have to plan accordingly (think babysitters or on call situations).

2. You will need to discuss with the boat’s owner what is allowed. For example, do they provide catering, cake, music, tables and chairs, bar supplies and bartenders, wait staff? What are you allowed bring on board? Flowers, your own DJ and sound equipment? Do they provide any event coordination services? Are you required to use them, and at what cost? What is included in boat rental fees, and what is billed additionally?

3. Your vendors will have to ensure timely and complete deliveries. They will need to know how early they will have access to the boat so they can plan accordingly. They will also need to know about the distance from parking to the boat so they can arrange for any equipment needed (dollies, carts, etc) to get equipment and supplies on board.

4. Space for dressing, hair and make-up will have to be explored. It is very possible that you will need to arrive ready to walk down the aisle with all services completed on land. On a related note, how do you feel about being seen by your guests before you enter for the ceremony? It may be hard to sneak down the dock and onto the boat without being seen by your guests.

5. And finally, but very importantly, where will the marriage legalities take place? You will need to identify a location address, city and county on your marriage license, so make sure you understand how that will work. The boat we were on moved past a few cities, crossed a couple of county lines and floated between two states. And there wasn’t a mailing address for the middle of the river. The easiest thing to do might be to take care of the legalities (the “I do’s” and certificate signing) with your two witnesses and officiant before departing so you can claim the dock address. Then you can have your full ceremony in front of your guests whenever it works for your schedule.

From my vantage point it looked like a great celebration was about to get underway on the Majestic Star last weekend. Guests arrived decked out in pure white – shoes, pants, shirts, coats, and dresses – making everyone part of the party from the very first moment. The dock seemed to serve as an extension of the aisle, with the bride and groom arriving last, to the cheers of their guests waiting on board. The mood was festive, the waters calm, and the interesting wedding venue ensured a special experience awaited.

Making Your Wedding A Family Affair

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Weddings  tagged blended family / family ceremony / wedding by

Making your wedding a family affair can make it more special and meaningful if you have children either from this or previous relationships. Crafting moments that focus on you as a couple and the commitment you are making to each other in marriage and including your children in other aspects of your ceremony will create a memorable experience for you, your family and your guests.

There are myriad ways to involve your children in your wedding based on their age and interest level. Certainly flower girl, ring bearer, bridesmaid and groomsman are common roles for children to take, depending on their ages. Children can be readers, and ushers, too. A particularly meaningful way to include children of any age is to have them escort you up the aisle. In an upcoming wedding I’m working on both the bride and groom will be entering the ceremony space accompanied by their teenage children. This opens the wedding with a strong visual that the children support the marriage and are an integral part of the relationship.

A family ritual can be a powerful moment in your wedding ceremony when you celebrate the new family by inviting the children forward to join with you in a visual activity – a sand blending, flower blending, tree planting or other ritual. A recent article on Weddingbee offers some ideas for your consideration.

One word of caution regarding children from previous relationships. If the children (no matter their age) have a relationship with their other birth parent, it is important that the new family being recognized with their parent’s marriage not be viewed as trivializing or breaking the family relationship they have with their other parent. Families are created by love and take many forms. We can all be part of many families without one diminishing another. It is important to be sensitive to the feelings of children and their emotions during the wedding.

If you are bringing children into a new family unit with your marriage, celebrate fully by making your wedding a family affair.

When Your Parent is Missing

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged missing parent / wedding by

When your parent is missing from your wedding it can impact you in unexpected ways. Over the years I’ve worked with a number of couples dealing with this situation, and they’ve each approached it differently. The lesson here is that there is no single “right answer” for everyone, but with a little thought and discussion, you can find the answer that is right for you.

Here are a few situations and how each couple chose to address it:
– When the mother of the groom had recently died, the couple chose to hang a set of wind chimes, a favorite of hers, in the ceremony space. When the chimes rang, they felt close to her. We also explained the symbolism to the guests and spoke about how she had loved the couple and would so have liked to be there to celebrate with them on this special day.

– A recent bride lost her mother when she was very young, and an aunt and uncle had helped her dad raise her. She invited the aunt and uncle to walk in the processional and sit in the front row next to her dad.

– A few couples chose to walk into and out of their ceremony together. In one case it was because of difficult relationships with the parents, in another it was because the bride’s father had died, and in a third it was because they had been together so long they didn’t like the symbolism of the bride separating from her father/parents to join with the groom.

– Of course, another option if the bride’s father is not present for any reason is to have the bride’s mother escort her into the ceremony. Often the bride (or groom) and their mother are very close in these situations, and that is the natural solution.

– One couple chose to have me mention the parents who had died by name near the beginning of the ceremony, noting that they were especially missed on this special day.

– Other couples have included a memorial statement in their ceremony program recognizing parents and grandparents who have died.

– Yet another couple chose to place a rose on the chair where the groom’s mother would have been seated if she was still alive.

– And in yet a final situation, the couple chose not to mention the bride’s missing father at all. He boycotted the wedding because he disapproved of the man his daughter chose to marry. His absence was his loss.

As you can see, there are many ways to handle the situation when your parent is missing for any reason at your wedding ceremony. While it can be emotionally difficult to think about, working together as a couple and with your celebrant, you can address this situation in a way that is right for you and that allows you to fully enjoy your wedding day.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

 in Ceremony / Uncategorized / Weddings  tagged ceremony / rain / wedding / wedding rain by

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day. That children’s rhyme is every couples’ wish as their wedding day approaches. But no amount of planning and hoping is going influence the weather, so we must have plans that allow the wedding day to proceed gracefully, even when the weather doesn’t cooperate.

Weather has already been a significant issue with ceremonies this year. Multiple April snowstorms caused many couples to scramble. Weather has been a significant factor in all three of the last ceremonies I officiated. One ceremony was moved into an air conditioned space due to high heat, one was moved indoors due to rain, and for one we braved the high heat and humidity, keeping the ceremony outdoors as planned, but it was awfully uncomfortable.

It seems our weather is getting more unpredictable year to year, with high heat, strong storms and rain caused by unstable systems happening more frequently. Occasionally a couple tells me, “If it rains, people just need to bring umbrellas.” That’s not a practical response if the rain is wind driven, or if lightning is involved. It’s not reasonable to expect people to sit on wet chairs. Electrical sound equipment or valuable instruments cannot be used in wet conditions. Unity ritual props will be ruined sitting in the rain. And do you really want to spend the rest of the day in sodden clothes?

While a sun-dappled ceremony with a light breeze blowing in 72 degree weather may be your dream, it really is essential that you have a plan in place in case of inclement weather. Many reception facilities offer an indoor ceremony alternative these days. Make sure that you know when you will need to make the decision about an indoor or outdoor ceremony, and be ready to do so.

Indoor ceremonies in climate controlled spaces allow you and your guests to be comfortable, to focus on the significance of the moment, and to be ready to celebrate all day long. So if the rain (or heat or snow) comes, go ahead and sing, “Rain, rain, go away…” but be ready with a great indoor alternative and you’ll have great memories of your ceremony and your day.

An Accommodating Wedding

 in Ceremony / Venue / Weddings / Welcome  tagged accommodating wedding / accommodation / ceremony / disability / wedding by

Hosting an accommodating wedding means being thoughtful and planning for the needs of any differently abled guests and members of the wedding party. If you have bridesmaids, groomsmen, guests, or even if you yourself have mobility or other limitations there are many things to consider. The good news is that there are many small things you can do to ensure everyone is able to participate fully in your wedding day.

Hosting an accommodating wedding starts very early on in the planning process as you consider venues for your ceremony and reception. If people will be in wheelchairs, check for doorways wide enough to accommodate the chair. Look for ramps or lifts near any steps on the site. Check out the restrooms for accessibility, too. Now look at the ceremony space – can chairs be moved to allow a beloved grandparent a front view of the ceremony? Are aisles wide enough to accommodate the chair? And this would be a good time to avoid an aisle runner or other obstructions that could cause difficulties for wheelchairs or walkers. If people will be walking with crutches, check for even ground/floor surfaces that are not slippery.

When seeking to provide a welcoming and accommodating wedding experience, consider, too, people with sight or hearing limitations. They may need a reserved seat near the front, or near a speaker to fully appreciate the ceremony. A different kind of limitation is language. If parents or grandparents do not speak English, consider having your ceremony translated so they can follow along on a printed copy left on their seats. You may also choose to offer some or all of the ceremony in two languages to allow them to more fully participate.

Wheelchairs can be gracefully included in the processional with a bridesmaid holding the handle of the groomsman’s chair as he rolls down the aisle, or a festively decorated chair for the bride pushed by her escort as she enters the ceremony space. If standing for the duration of the ceremony is difficult, attendants can be seated in chairs to each side, and two chairs can be set for the bride and groom in the center of the space. If you’re able, you can choose to stand for the exchange of vows and rings, and return to chairs for the rest of the ceremony. It may also be possible to have a table on wheels rolled to you for your unity ritual.

With some thought, creativity and planning an accommodating wedding can be created that allows everyone to fully and comfortably celebrate with you as you cross the threshold into marriage. Your thoughtfulness will be appreciated, and your day memorable when you seek to welcome everyone to the celebration.