wedding readings

Making The Day Your Own

 in Personalization / Readings / Rituals / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged custom wedding ceremony / handfasting / ring exchange / wedding ceremony / wedding readings by

Making the day your own is often a desire expressed by couples planning their wedding. I’ve seen some great examples this year of couples including elements of the wedding day that reflect who they are and honor their relationship. Enjoy reading about these thoughtful, original couples!

The first couple each had interesting passions. He loved all things from the Viking era, and she researched and appreciated all things Celtic. They wanted to include both interests in their ceremony.The rings were presented on an ax in an adaptation of the Viking ritual that placed the rings on family swords that were exchanged during the wedding.

After the exchange of vows and rings, the couple invited their siblings to perform a handfasting ritual honoring the bride’s Celtic heritage. The sash used was made from the family tartan.

Ax and Sash

The second couple used rock music by Metallica throughout the ceremony, and the bride wore black. Both were authentic for the couple and both were appreciated by their friends. I did notice a shared glance between a few of the older relatives, but the couple felt seen for their authentic selves.

Black Wedding Gown

And last, but not least, another couple was creating a blended family with the bride’s two daughters. They wanted the ceremony to recognize both the marriage of the couple and the formation of the new family. The bride located a children’s book titled, “Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You” by Nancy Tillman. The sweet sentiments were reinforced when the couple presented a copy of the book to the girls so they could follow along during the reading. Later in the ceremony the new stepdad gathered the girls close and made promises to them and placed gold necklaces around their necks to remember the day.

My Love Will Find You

Each of these couples took the concept of making the day your own to heart. The results were as different as the couples were, and each was spectacularly successful. So don’t get burdened by traditions or trends. Making the day your own will result in an authentic wedding day filled with memories to treasure.

Making Your Ceremony Reflect You

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Personalization / Readings / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged ceremony readings / personal ceremonies / personal ceremony / personalized vows / personalized wedding / readings / wedding officiant / wedding processional / wedding readings by

Making your ceremony reflect you kicks off your wedding day with a sparkle. Think about your personalities as individuals and who you are as a couple, and bring those qualities into your ceremony.

Begin at the beginning of your ceremony. Think about how you want to enter the space and with whom. We’ve all seen the “dance up the aisle” entrances by wedding parties, and if that’s you, that’s great. But maybe you’re like one of my brides whose parents had died. She opted to enter with her brother and sister-in-law and two nieces. They were her closest family and that felt right to her. Maybe you’ll choose to enter as a couple, because you’ve been together for a number of years and have established your life together, and that feels most authentic to you.

When it comes to the ceremony itself, think about ways to let your story shine. Share some of your experiences with your celebrant so they can be woven into the ceremony. These can be romantic proposals, funny home renovation stories, or amazing travel moments – whatever reflects who you are and the path you’ve walked to your wedding day. Picking a reading that really reflects how you feel about love, or marriage, or building your future together is another great way to bring your thoughts into the ceremony.

Don’t forget your vows – your best opportunity for making your ceremony reflect you. Either by writing your own vows or picking ones that speak to the promises you want to make to each other, you are sharing the core of the reason you’ve gathered for the day. If you are a couple that thrives on laughing together, bringing a bit of humor into your vows is fine. If you want to keep this moment more serious or romantic, that’s great, too.

Making your ceremony reflect you begins with hiring a celebrant who specializes in doing just that. If you don’t want a cookie cutter ceremony or one created by cutting and pasting from information on the internet, take the time to research officiants and celebrants in your area and hire a professional that will help you bring your ceremony to life.

Including Grandparents in Your Wedding

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Weddings  tagged grandparent memorial / grandparents / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding processional / wedding readings by

Including grandparents in your wedding is a great way to honor your family heritage and to express appreciation to these special people in your life. There are some things to consider, though, when planning for their participation in your wedding.

First, you’ll want to treat all the grandparents who are able to attend your ceremony the same. For example, if it is important to you to have a particular set of grandparents included in your processional, then all grandparents should be included. When deciding whether or not to have your grandparents walk in as part of the processional, you’ll want to consider their preferences, their health and mobility, the venue, and the size of your wedding party.

It’s good to talk to your grandparents about the possibility of walking in the processional, so you learn if they would prefer to stay out of the spotlight or are happy to participate. One reason they may choose not to participate is if their health is fragile or mobility is an issue for them.

Look, too, at the venue. Will you be asking your elders to walk over rocky or uneven ground or walk a significant distance? If so, they may opt out. Finally, look at the size of your wedding party and the length of the processional with and without the grandparents. If you have 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, two ring bearers, three flower girls and a variety of parents and step-parents who will all need to walk in, along with the two of you, before the ceremony can begin, you might opt to leave the grandparents out of the processional.

If you decide not to have the grandparents walk in the formal processional, you’ll still want to have reserved seating for them up front. Don’t forget to let them know about it, too, so they can look for it or tell an usher who will seat them appropriately.

Another great way of including grandparents in your wedding is to have them offer a reading. If you’re fortunate enough to have a set of grandparents who have been married for a long time, perhaps they could share a reading on love or marriage. Guaranteed to not have a dry eye in the group.

But what if your grandparents aren’t able to attend because of health, distance, or because they have died? There are still ways of including your grandparents in your wedding in these situations.

Wedding Memorial Table

You may place a table at the back of the ceremony venue with their pictures and a message like, “In loving memory…Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved and missed, so very dear.” You can include memorial wording in your ceremony or in your program. Or you can include wedding pictures of your parents and grandparents on a special table near your cake in the reception space. All are great ways to remember these wonderful people who played a part in making you the person you are on your wedding day.

Thoughtfully including grandparents in your wedding will add depth and meaning to your day for you and for your guests. It’s a great way to celebrate those who are able to be with you, and to remember those who are not.

Wedding Readings Offered Creatively

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Readings / Weddings  tagged ceremony / ceremony readings / creative readings / readings / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding readings / weddings by

Wedding readings are a traditional part of wedding ceremonies, but they can be offered creatively, increasing both interest and meaning. Readings can, of course, be offered by your celebrant, but it is much more interesting to bring another voice or voices into the ceremony.

Having family members or friends offer your wedding readings is fairly common and is a nice gesture to include those loved ones in your special day. Make sure, though, that you share with your celebrant what your connection is with the person or people offering readings so that information can be shared with your guests. And you can think outside the box when choosing your readers, too. Perhaps a grandparent whose soothing voice holds a special place in your memories, or the friend who introduced you. Think about hearing the inspiring words of your readings offered by your moms who have guided you through the years. The choice of a special person for a specific reason is sure to increase the power of the moment in your ceremony.

Thinking even more creatively, here are a few things we’ve done at ceremonies I officiated:

  • Two beloved grandparents who celebrated 50 years of marriage shortly before the wedding shared the reading titled, “All I Want” at their grand daugther’s wedding. Not a dry eye to be seen.
  • The bride and groom in one encore wedding had her two and his three adult daughters share the two wedding readings as they stood up for their parents. The couple was literally surrounded by words of love and encouragement.
  • One couple shared a reading themselves, alternating stanzas, just before they offered their personal vows.
  • An entire wedding party shared a closing reflection reading with each bridesmaid and groomsman offering a wish for the couple going forward.
  • And finally, the siblings of a recent couple offered readings as a special show of support during one ceremony.

Thoughtfully choosing your wedding readings, as I discussed in last week’s post, followed by careful choices of readers and presentation of those readings will make them memorable, and will integrate them into your ceremony in a way that heightens the power and personal meaning of the readings themselves.

Readings for Secular Weddings

 in Ceremony / Readings / Secular / Weddings  tagged secular readings / secular wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding readings / weddings by

Readings for secular weddings are not restricted by rules or religious requirements, so you have a virtually endless selection to choose from. Readings can be sourced from anywhere – poetry, prose, song lyrics, even movie or play scripts. You’ll want to pick something that reflects you as a couple and connect it to other elements of the ceremony.

If you are big into nature, perhaps you’ll pick the passage from Walt Whitman’s “Song of the Open Road” that begins:

Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before you,
The long brown path before you,
leading wherever you choose.
Say only to one another:
I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law;
…

Or possibly the nature imagery in this excerpt from Jo Lynne Wood’s “Together” will speak to you:

Two trees near to each other stood
When they were young and life was new.
Their limbs reach out and their branches entwine
And thus together they grew.
Their roots spread out down under the ground
Joining one with the other,
So, from the top in the sky to the heart
In the earth-the two were joined together.
Thru days when the sun was bright and warm
And the winds were temperamental
When a laughing breeze rustled the leaves,
Or when the rain was soft and gentle.
Thru days when the clouds were dark and gray
And cold and fierce the weather
The two stood firm and faced the storms
Because they stood together.

Maybe you like the ancient poetry of Rumi or the modern poetry of ee cummings. Both offer a variety of passages appropriate for a wedding. Readings for secular weddings can focus on an interest you share like bike riding, or perhaps you want to honor your children by choosing a piece of children’s literature. There is “A Lovely Love Story” by Edward Monkton about two special dinosaurs, or multiple passages from Dr. Seuss that can be fun and memorable.

How would you describe yourselves as a couple? Fun loving, serious, romantic, traditional, creative? There are readings for secular weddings that will speak to all kinds of couples with all kinds of interests. By choosing a reading thoughtfully, your guests will see another part of your relationship and feel even more connected to you. Take the time to select a reading that speaks to you about love or marriage in a way that is meaningful to you, and it will truly be a remembered moment in your wedding ceremony.