wedding planning

Congratulations!

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Engagement / Weddings  tagged engagement / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by

Congratulations to all of you who are receiving or giving rings this holiday season. Congratulations on choosing to make a public commitment to each other in marriage. As you share the happy news with family and friends in coming days, celebrate the love you’ve found together as you begin to plan your future, too.

Your wedding day will be a big part of that future. It is your opportunity to gather those people most important to you to celebrate with you. It is your opportunity to voice your heartfelt promises to each other in front of those very people. You’ll want your wedding day to be memorable and to reflect who you are as a couple.

Perhaps you will choose an intimate ceremony followed by a big celebration. Or maybe a large gathering to share your entire day fits you best. It’s possible that you will choose a small, low key, ceremony followed by a family dinner as your perfect wedding day. No matter what kind of day you envision for yourself, there will be many details to attend to.

Those details should never overshadow the reason for the day you’re planning. Your love and commitment to build your future together. Even when wedding planning feels overwhelming, it’s a good idea to set it aside and take a walk together or share a special meal where you can reconnect with good conversation, and remind yourselves why you’re planning a wedding in the first place.

If you’re planning a medium to large wedding you’ll want to secure your wedding venue(s) first. Many couples are taking advantage of the varied facilities at local venues to plan their ceremony and reception in one place. This simplifies things for you when planning and allows your guests to only need to locate one venue on the wedding day.

With your venue, and by extension your wedding date established, it will be time to begin to secure the services of the other wedding vendors you’ll need to complete your day. Your photographer, musicians, caterer and florists will all be on the list. Don’t forget to include your wedding celebrant in this early planning, too. Popular wedding dates book very early, so signing contracts or agreement documents with all of us is something you’ll want to close on as soon as possible. Especially if you’re looking at a 2020 wedding date it’s essential to move quickly.

Congratulations again to all newly engaged couples. I hope you have great fun celebrating with family and friends during the days to come. And as we move into the new year, I hope to hear from many of you as you begin to nail down all the plans for your upcoming wedding day!

Three Ways to Reduce Stress With Parents

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Weddings  tagged parents / wedding planning / weddings by

There are three ways to reduce stress with parents when planning your wedding. You don’t have to look far on the internet to find stories of wedding planning disasters that revolve around the couple and their parents. But it is possible to keep the peace with the parents and have the wedding day you want, and these three tips can help you accomplish that.

  1. Recognize that your wedding day is important for all of you. Yes, it is your day, and you should have the wedding you want. But I encourage you to recognize that like your graduation days, like the day you got your first job, or bought your first car, these milestone moments are important to your parents, too. They want to share in your happiness and celebrate this special event with you.
  2. Keep lines of communication open. As you make plans and choices for your wedding day, it’s a great idea to keep all the parents aware of not only the what but the why of the choices you’re making. When you recognize that your wedding day is significant for your parents, too, you can understand that they appreciate knowing what you’re thinking and planning. When you make non-traditional choices, sharing your reasons can make all the difference in how they receive your plans. The couple who chooses an intimate ceremony with only 30 people in attendance and explains to their parents that they are making that choice because one of them is critically shy, are likely to gain support for their choice.
  3. Recognize that wedding planning is an opportunity to set the tone for respectful communication between you and the parents going forward. If you engage with the parents as you would a peer in the workplace – respectfully and as an equal – you’ll avoid issues both now and in the future. Listen to their point of view, consider it, and then make and communicate your perspective and choices clearly and politely.

There’s an article in Wedding Wire titled “6 Things Not To Say To Your Mother-in-law” that is worth reading, although I would expand it to apply to all your parents. It applies the three points I’ve made above. None of this takes away from the fact that it is your wedding day, and you should have the day you want. It only offers three ways to reduce stress with parents and help ensure that you all share in a great celebration of your love and commitment when the wedding day rolls around.

3 Common Pitfalls in Wedding Planning

 in Weddings  tagged wedding pitfalls / wedding planning by

Understanding 3 common pitfalls in wedding planning can help you avoid them and reach your wedding day on good terms with everyone and ready to celebrate your love and marriage. The months leading up to your wedding day are emotional ones for everyone involved. It’s helpful to remember that the day is important for the two of you, obviously, but also for your parents and children if you have them. So let’s look at the most common pitfalls and some ways to minimize, avoid or cope with them.

1. Dealing with suggestions and demands from many quarters. The most effective way to deal with all the people who have opinions about your day is to have a discussion early on between you and your fiance(e). Decide which elements of your day are most important to you and what your want them to look like or have happen. With this clear understanding between you, you can hear all the suggestions and demands, decide if they enhance the things that are important to you, and politely disregard the rest. Make sure you’re on the same page as a couple, so if you get pushback from your fiance(e)’s family or friends they can speak to their “people” and you don’t have to look like the bad guy/gal.

2. Letting mole hills become mountains. When you’re stressed and exhausted it is very easy to become overwhelmed with each and every wedding task. This is another time you can pull out your list of things you’ve decided are important to you. If the issue before you does not relate to one of the important elements, it’s a key for you to take a step back. You might choose to delegate the task, to compromise, or to simply let it go.

3. Procrastinating. Most people choose their venue and date early on. Key vendors including photographer, musicians and celebrant follow shortly thereafter. And then many couples take a breather. It’s easy for time to slip away, especially if you have a long engagement. If you know you tend to procrastinate, utilize a planning guide to stay on top of planning tasks in a rational order. One caveat here – know your area. Some geographies have venues that book 18 months to 2 years out, and if there are limited vendors available, they, too will book quickly. – the planning guides may not be accurate. Another way to reduce the seemingly overwhelming list of tasks which can lead to procrastination is to delegate some of the work – utilize family, friends, your wedding party and especially your fiance(e) to share the load. Make sure you check in occasionally to ensure things are happening, and show lots of appreciation – words, cards, a small gift card to a favorite coffee shop, pick up the tab at lunch where you discuss wedding task status,etc so the people you delegated to feel seen and appreciated.

Using these tips you can avoid or minimize the 3 common pitfalls in wedding planning, and reach your wedding day with important relationships intact. Remember, it’s a special day, but only a day, and the reason for it all lies ahead of you as you build your life together in marriage.

Happy Thanksgiving

 in Celebration  tagged wedding planning by

Wishing all readers a Happy Thanksgiving this week. I invite you to pause your wedding planning as you prepare to celebrate with family and friends. Take time to enjoy preparing and sharing a special meal with important people in your world.

It’s very easy to have wedding planning take over your world for the 12 or more months of your engagement, but it’s not always healthy for you personally or for your relationship. You can use the holidays this month and next to take a break and focus on other things. You can appreciate the people who share your happiness and wish you well. You can thank the people who have offered to assist with wedding related tasks. You can give back to those who have given so much to you over the years – making a pie to contribute to your holiday meal, hosting the gathering at your place, serving meals to less advantaged people in your community, or simply taking time to share a walk outside and some (non-wedding) conversation with your fiance(e). All are ways to get out of your own head for a bit and appreciate a larger slice of your world.

This is also a good time of year to focus on what is right in your world, and to be grateful for it. If you’re planning a wedding, you’ve found a person to share love and life with – it doesn’t get much better than that. You’ve likely shared your happiness with family and friends who are genuinely happy for you and wish you well – that kind of support is to be treasured. You are looking forward to a life full of possibilities and opportunities.

For me, I am treasuring some time to relax as my busy season winds down and I have some unscheduled weekends. I am looking back on the wonderful couples I worked with this year and whose wedding days I had the honor to share. I am looking forward to next year’s couples as I begin to write ceremonies for 2018, working to capture their stories, their personalities and priorities for their special day. I am grateful for my own husband who supports my work in ways too numerous to list, and who I appreciate sharing our journey together each and every day.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you for being part of my world.