wedding officiant

Selecting Your Wedding Celebrant

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Officiant / Weddings  tagged selecting celebrant / selecting wedding celebrant / selecting wedding officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by

Selecting your wedding celebrant or officiant is just one of the many decisions you need to make as an engaged couple planning your wedding day. While most couples have ideas of what they want for their wedding reception and party, many draw a blank when thinking about what they want in their ceremony. Allow me to lay out some of the early questions to ask yourselves as you begin the search for your ideal wedding celebrant.

– A good place to start is by asking if you are looking for a religious or secular ceremony. There are specialists in both, and you want to be considering celebrants who can provide the kind of ceremony you want.

– Next, consider if you are looking for someone who will craft a ceremony in response to your wishes and based on you as a couple; someone who provides snippets of ceremonies for your consideration and asks you to basically create your own ceremony by assembling the pieces you want; or someone who can provide a brief, elopement style ceremony or handle the legalities of marriage in your state without any ceremony at all.

– Think about weddings you’ve attended or even seen in movies or on TV. Do you have any things you definitely do or do not want in your ceremony?

– And finally, how would you prefer to engage with the celebrant throughout the ceremony writing process? Do you want them to write the ceremony and deliver it as a surprise on your wedding day, or do you prefer to collaborate with them throughout the process?

Once you have answers to the questions posed above, you’re ready to start looking for your celebrant. The internet and recommendations from friends and relatives are great places to start. Or maybe you attended a wedding recently and liked what you heard from the celebrant. Try to find two or three potential celebrants or officiants to meet with.

Reach out to the potential celebrants with a phone call or email. Let them know when and where your ceremony is to take place and ask about their availability and willingness to speak with you further. I’m a fan of in person meetings whenever possible. Taking an hour or two to meet with prospective celebrants will give you a good idea of how comfortable you are speaking with and working with them.

Feel free to ask any questions you have (and it’s OK not to have questions, too). Let them know what you want and don’t want in your ceremony. When selecting your wedding celebrant realize that while they are the expert in this field, you hold the power to book their services or continue to look for a better match. Your celebrant should be willing and able to listen to you and hear what you are asking for in your ceremony, and have the skills, background, and experience to deliver the ceremony you want.

It’s a good idea to invest time and effort in selecting your wedding celebrant as you will work with them closely leading up to your wedding day. Your ceremony will also be the first event of your wedding day and can set the tone for the rest of the celebration. Now is the perfect time to be selecting your wedding celebrant for 2019 ceremonies as the most popular celebrants book early. Don’t hesitate to reach out and begin the process of finding and selecting your wedding celebrant.

Finding Your Wedding Officiant – Part 2

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged wedding officiant by

Last week I talked about ways to find your wedding officiant. During your initial phone or e-mail contact you’ve determined that they are available on your wedding date and meet your basic requirements. Now it’s time to schedule a face to face meeting.

Here are 12 questions you want to consider asking prospective officiants when you meet. You don’t need to ask them all – pick the ones that are significant for you as a couple.

– Can we write our own vows? Can we modify any samples you provide? Do you have any restrictions on what we can say in our vows?

– Can we include a unity ritual in our ceremony? What rituals may we choose from? Can you create a custom ritual for us?

– How do you handle readings in the ceremony? What sources do you allow? Do you provide suggestions/options? Can we have someone of our choice offer the reading?

– Can you perform a ceremony free of religious content but still significant for us and our guests?

– Can we include other people in our ceremony? What suggestions do you have for how to do this?

– How many times do you meet with couples prior to the wedding? Do you have the option of Skype, Facetime or teleconference meetings? What is covered at these meetings?

– Please describe your ceremony writing process. Specifically, how do you determine the general flow and content for a wedding ceremony? Can we make changes or ask that something be removed?

– What do we need to do? Are there questionnaires we need to complete? More meetings to attend? Drafts of the ceremony to review? How quickly are we required to respond?

– What is the fee for the ceremony we have discussed? What services are included in that fee? Rehearsal? Sound system? Time at venue before/after ceremony? Processing of legal paperwork? Copy of ceremony? Interlock with other ceremony vendors? Time and travel costs to the ceremony venue?

– Do we sign a contract defining your services and our responsibilities? Is a retainer or deposit required? When is the balance due? What forms of payment do you accept?

– What kind of training and experience do you have as a celebrant/officiant? Do you have any references or testimonials we can read? Do you have a sample of your work that we can review?

– Do you offer premarital counseling? If so, what are your credentials to do so?

One last suggestion – make sure that, in addition to the questions and answers, you take time to consider how comfortable you are with the person. A wedding ceremony is a very personal thing, and you need to feel comfortable asking questions, sharing your story, asking for assistance, or telling them you want something done differently. If you select the right celebrant/officiant, you’ll find that the process can be a very positive, supportive, collaborative experience that results in a ceremony you’ll remember for years to come.