wedding officiant

Dealing with Crazy Relatives

 in Ceremony / Guests / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony problems / wedding guests / wedding officiant / weddings by

Dealing with crazy relatives at your wedding ceremony can be a challenge. A variety of situations can occur at your wedding ceremony that need diplomatic solutions to keep everything moving forward smoothly.

Before the ceremony even begins, logistical issues can arise. When lining up the wedding party before one ceremony, the bride became flustered when she noticed that the seats reserved for her parents were occupied. An aunt was sitting in one of the seats, next to the grandfather’s wheelchair. With the bride’s concurrence, I approached the woman and politely asked her to move down the row, as these two seats were reserved for the bride’s parents.

Her response surprised me. She said they could take other open seats; that she was assisting the grandfather. I told her the bride’s mother (also the grandfather’s daughter) would be sitting there in just a moment. I suggested she move either further down the first row, or to the second row with her adult children. Then, I quietly stood there. After a few moments she moved further down the row. I returned to check in with the bride, and then started the ceremony. Having ushers who can either seat guests or oversee the seating of guests could have prevented this situation.

Cameras and phones can also prove troublesome in the wrong hands. At another wedding, an aunt of the groom stepped into the aisle to catch pictures of the bride as she entered. She didn’t realize (I hope) that she stepped directly in front of the professional photographer who was also trying to capture that image. These moments happen so quickly during a ceremony that it is difficult for photographers to relocate for an unobstructed view. To prevent dealing with crazy relatives like this one, I can request that guests put their phones and cameras away for the ceremony so they can be fully present with the couple. This is called an unplugged ceremony. It also ensures that any professional photos taken during the ceremony include the guests’ faces, and not a sea of upraised phones.

Dealing with crazy relatives takes some thought and preventive actions. You can’t think of everything, but some situations can be anticipated and avoided. Working with an experienced celebrant can help you consider and even react to the situations that arise unexpectedly.

Five Important Questions to Ask Wedding Celebrants

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Secular wedding / Wedding Celebrant / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged officiant / wedding / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by


There are five important questions to ask wedding celebrants when selecting the person to create and offer your ceremony. This article has an even more exhaustive list, but these five will give you the most critical information. While it can feel a bit intimidating engaging with celebrants or officiants, they are there to help you have the wedding you envision. They are ready and willing to provide the information you need to decide if you want to work with them.


Kathy officiating ceremony

The five important questions to ask wedding celebrants

  1. Are you available on our wedding date? Do you serve our venue? These are very practical questions that should be asked up front. If the answer to either is “no”, you don’t need to invest more time with that celebrant.
  2. Are you legally credentialed to officiate marriages in our state/county/city? Another simple but essential question. You want your ceremony to legally marry you. Each state, and sometimes more local jurisdictions has different laws defining who can legally marry people.
  3. Do you offer the non-religious (or particular type of religious) ceremony we are interested in? As participation in organized religion drops, more people want a secular or non-religious ceremony. Celebrants who are affiliated with a religion will often not offer a secular ceremony. Or they will slip in god references, often without thinking about it. You can have the kind of ceremony you want if you ask for it.
  4. Will we be able to have input to the ceremony? How will that happen? Some celebrants do not provide a draft of the ceremony to couples before the wedding day. If you want to participate in the creation of your ceremony, or want reassurance that it will meet your expectations, ask how this can happen.
  5. If we want to have a rehearsal, will you attend and run it for us? Rehearsals are a great way to reduce stress and make everyone comfortable before the wedding day. If you plan to hold a rehearsal you’ll want to know if your celebrant will come and run it for you.

Important Questions to Ask Yourselves

While those are the five important questions to ask wedding celebrants, there are equally important questions to ask yourselves. After meeting with a prospective officiant or celebrant ask yourselves: Do we feel comfortable with this person? Will we be able to ask questions of them? Do we think they will respect our wishes and input for the ceremony? Do they provide a ceremony contract that documents our agreement?

Obtain answers to these five important questions to ask wedding celebrants. Follow with the questions to ask yourselves and you’ll be on your way to selecting your ideal wedding celebrant.

Engaging Wedding Celebrants

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Officiant / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning  tagged celebrant / officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding officiant / wedding planning by

Engaging wedding celebrants can be a bit daunting for a newly engaged couple. It is an important part of planning your wedding day, though, so don’t delay due to nerves. There is a simple process you can follow that will help you decide when you’ve found the wedding celebrant that’s right for you.

Before you reach out to potential celebrants, you’ll need two key pieces of information: your ceremony venue and wedding date. These will be necessary for any celebrant to tell you if they are available on your date, and if they serve your location/venue. Armed with the date and venue, you’re ready to begin your search.

If you’ve been to a wedding where you really enjoyed the ceremony, or if you know people who have recently married that’s a great place to start. Talk to those couples and ask for reviews, referrals and contact information. If you’re starting from scratch, try an online search. Use “wedding officiant ” for example. Note that I suggest using “officiant” instead of “celebrant” for this search. That’s because celebrant is a more specialized term and you’ll find more possibilities using the term officiant. Spend some time reading celebrant websites to learn more about the services they offer. Some will likely appeal to you more than others.

Now it’s time to begin engaging wedding celebrants you’re drawn to. An email or phone call is probably the best place to start. Provide the date and venue information and ask if they are available. It’s helpful for you to include information on what kind of a ceremony you’re looking for. For example, do you want a religious or secular ceremony? Do you want to include any special activities in your ceremony? Perhaps you know you want to include a handfasting ritual. If so, tell the prospective celebrant up front so they can let you know if that’s something they offer.

Once you’ve identified a prospective celebrant (or two), it’s time to get “face to face” with them. This can be in person or via a video conference. The important thing is for the three of you to get to know each other a bit. You’ll be looking for how comfortable you are with the celebrant. You’ll be looking for confirmation that they are experienced and interested in providing the kind of ceremony you want. They’ll be looking to understand if they can meet your needs and feel they can work well with you.

When engaging wedding celebrants, don’t be afraid to let them lead the conversation, at least at first. They’ve had these discussions many times and know what information both you and they need to get from your meeting. That said, don’t be intimidated. You are the client, and they need to fit you and your vision for your wedding ceremony. After your initial meeting you’ll need to decide if you want to work with that celebrant. Please be courteous and let them know either way. Their feelings won’t be hurt if you choose a different celebrant. But it will help them tremendously if they know that your wedding date is still available to other couples who might be looking to book at the same time. Take a deep breath and begin the process of engaging wedding celebrants. It’s exciting and such an important part of your wedding day.

Hiring Your Wedding Officiant

 in Officiant / Wedding Ceremony  tagged celebrant / officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding officiant by

Hiring your wedding officiant should be done soon after you’ve selected your date and ceremony venue. With those two key pieces of information, you’re ready to start your search. Officiants will be able to quickly tell you if they are available for your date, and if they provide services to the location you’ve selected.

By selecting your wedding officiant early you increase the chances that they will be available for your date, and you leave time for an orderly and relaxed timeline for the creation of your ceremony. If you have a particular officiant in mind, it really isn’t ever too early to reach out with an initial contact. If you’re feeling apprehensive about initiating contact with officiants, here are a few tips to ease you into the process:

  1. Online searches for officiants in your geographic area is a good place to begin. Once you find one or a few officiants you’re interested in, see if they offer an online contact form. When you complete and submit their form you can be sure that you’re providing the initial information they need. The officiant can then respond with additional information and suggestions on how best to proceed.
  2. Reputable officiants will offer a no cost, no obligation initial consultation. This is an opportunity for all parties to decide if you’re a good fit for each other, and if the officiant is a viable option for your wedding day. Consultations can take place in person, via video conference, or via teleconference.
  3. Hiring your wedding officiant should include a formal document that lays out all the details – date, time, place and cost of course, along with what the officiant will do and what your responsibilities are. The one exception to this is if you are hiring an officiant for a ceremony in the next few days, in which case a verbal agreement or email exchange may serve your needs.
  4. Make sure you give some thought to what you want in your wedding ceremony before you meet with potential officiants. The more information you can provide about your wishes, priorities, and requirements, the better chance you’ll have of hiring the right person.

Hiring your wedding officiant may take a little time and effort, and it’s OK to continue your search if you don’t connect with the first person you meet. Your wedding ceremony is the first public event of your wedding day. It’s also a required element of your day, if you want to be legally married. So take your time, invest some thought and effort into the process, and you’ll select the person who can deliver on your vision for the ideal wedding ceremony.

Finding Your Wedding Officiant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Secular wedding / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged legal wedding / selecting wedding celebrant / selecting wedding officiant / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant / weddings by

Finding your wedding officiant is one of the most significant decisions you will make about your wedding. Your ceremony is the element of your wedding day that legally marries you – what the day is all about. It is also the first “public” event of day, where your guests gather with you and your wedding party. Your ceremony sets the tone for the rest of your day, so you want to select an officiant who can create that celebratory first impression to get things started on a high note.

A recent article in Brides magazine includes not only information about officiant costs, but has a great set of questions you can ask a potential officiant. The article closes with some considerations to help guide you in making the right final decision. It’s definitely worth a read before you embark on the task of finding your wedding officiant.

Clarification on some terms may help you in choosing your officiant, too. Most broadly, an officiant is the person who will legally marry you. They may be religious, secular or civil, but if they have the legal standing to marry you, they are an officiant. Religious officiants include priests, ministers, rabbis, etc. Civil officiants, depending on your state laws, may carry Judge, Notary, or similar titles. Secular officiants often, but not always, use the title Celebrant. But beware though, the celebrant title does not have a consistent definition, so anyone can call themselves a celebrant. You’ll want to ask a few questions about any officiant’s education, training and experience before choosing to work with them.

It’s also important to understand how each potential officiant works with clients. You may want to ask questions including:

  • Do we get to see the ceremony script ahead of time?
  • Can we make/request changes to the ceremony script?
  • How do you personalize the ceremony for us?
  • Can we write our own vows? Select our own music?
  • How do we best communicate with each other – email, phone, text?

There aren’t right or wrong questions to the questions above. It is important, however, that you have a good understanding of and are comfortable with the answers the officiant provides.

So go ahead and begin your search for your officiant as soon as you have your wedding date and venue identified. Finding your wedding officiant can feel like a daunting task. You’ll find, however, that most officiants are approachable, kind, and are willing to guide your initial discussion if you prefer. They are the professionals after all, and have more experience than you do.