wedding guests

Receiving Line or Alternatives

 in Ceremony / Guests / Weddings  tagged receiving line / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

A receiving line is the traditional way for you to greet your guests immediately following your wedding ceremony. But you have alternatives, choices and modifications available to you today. A traditional receiving line involves you, your parents and your wedding party lined up at the back of your ceremony venue to greet and receive the congratulations of your guests. It serves the purpose of ensuring that you have at least a moment to speak directly with each of your guests. Depending on the size of your guest list it can be tricky to ensure that you connect with absolutely everyone during the less formal parts of your wedding day, but some people find the traditional receiving line to be artificial, uncomfortable and slow.

If you like the concept of a receiving line for the benefit of connecting with everyone, you can move things along and simplify the experience by having only you two and your parents form the line. This relieves your attendants of the awkward moment of making small talk with many strangers (as they likely don’t know many of your guests). Make the experience even more personal (and the line move even more quickly) by limiting it to only you and your new spouse. Your parents and attendants can circulate among your guests, help people find the social hour venue, and generally get the party started.

Especially if you have a smaller number of guests, say 100 or fewer, you may want to eliminate the receiving line altogether. In this case, you will need to make a concerted effort to speak with each guest during the festivities following the ceremony. As hosts of the event, you will want to thank them for coming to share in your special day. As the focal point of the day, your guests will want at least a moment to express their best wishes to you. One way to ensure you speak with everyone is to make the rounds while your guests are seated for dinner. If you’re having a “stand up” reception or if you think you can keep track of everyone during informal moments like the social hour, you can chat with people then, too.

It’s a great idea to consider all wedding traditions and then decide which of them you wish to include in your wedding day. It’s fine to have a receiving line if it makes your day easier, or to opt for a less formal way to engage with your guests. Whatever you choose, you’ll want to touch base with all your guests to celebrate with the people who came to share your special day.

Meaningful Rituals: Your Wedding Ceremony, Part 3

 in Ceremony / Guests / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged personalized rituals / personalized wedding / unity ritual / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding rituals / weddings by

Meaningful rituals can raise your wedding ceremony from interesting to truly memorable. Over the last two weeks we’ve talked about ways to make your ceremony uniquely yours by starting with the basics and using thoughtful choices of music and readings to reflect your personalities and interests. Choosing to include meaningful rituals is yet another way to make your ceremony your own.

Ring Warming, courtesy of Midwest Life Shots

Starting early in your ceremony, a ring warming ritual can bring your guests into the ceremony in a real way. Sending your rings among your guests to be imbued with their love and best wishes for you, this ritual happens in parallel as your ceremony continues. Or later in the ceremony, having your guests imbue pebbles with their wishes can create a memento of your ceremony.

Unity rituals that celebrate your exchange of vows are common these days, but the ritual itself doesn’t have to be. Love letters, tree plantings, handfastings, and flower blendings are all newer, interesting rituals with lovely symbolism. If your a traditionalist a candle lighting or sand blending can be made special and personal with add-ons and personal wording, too.

Love Letters

The absolute most meaningful rituals are those created expressly for you. Working with your celebrant you can celebrate your heritage, honor a special moment from your courtship, or share a part of your life through a custom written unity ritual. Examples I’ve written for couples include ice cream sharing, Turkish tea brewing, cairn creation, and whiskey sharing. In each case we were able to share something significant about the couple as part of the ritual, letting the guests know them a little better and creating a memorable moment.

Investing yourselves to collaborate with your celebrant you can define the outline of your ceremony, including those elements that are meaningful to you. You can share your personalities through selecting music and readings that you love or that represent your feelings toward each other. And you can select or create meaningful rituals to draw your guests into your ceremony and celebrate your love and commitment as a couple in a memorable way.

As 2020 couples begin to engage with celebrants to craft ceremonies you are limited only by the creativity of you and your celebrant. Have fun as you make your ceremonies uniquely your own.

Making Everyone Welcome at Your Wedding

 in Ceremony / Guests / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

Making everyone welcome at your wedding is one of the most gracious things you can focus on as the hosts of your big day. I’ve written previously about ensuring your ceremony venue is accessible for guests with disabilities but there are other ways to increase your guests’ comfort, too.

If you have a number of guests who are not fluent in English you might consider translating your final ceremony into their preferred language and making those copies available to them before the ceremony begins. This allows them to follow along and feel connected to what is happening.

One couple I worked with went further when the groom and his entire family spoke little English. They hired a translator for the ceremony. I knew about this ahead of time, and was able to assist the translator by providing a copy of the ceremony in advance so she could have her translation ready. I had also written the ceremony focusing on short paragraphs and simpler sentences so there were frequent breaks for translation. If you take this approach, make sure you opt for a shorter ceremony as your guests will be sitting through the equivalent of two ceremonies.

Turkish tea Ritual

Once, the groom, his family and most of his guests were from Turkey. They didn’t want to translate the ceremony, but wanted these important people to feel connected to what was happening. They had the reading offered in both English and Turkish, and we wove a Turkish tea ritual through the entire ceremony. The couple had met over Turkish tea, and often shared tea as they connected at the end of each day. The ingredients, the preparation and the sharing of the tea were all described as analogies to marriage. The guests who couldn’t understand English saw a familiar ritual, and saw the couple valuing the groom’s (and their) heritage.

Making everyone welcome at your wedding takes some thought and creativity, but the rewards are awesome. Your ceremony is more personal, your guests feel more connected to you and everyone is ready for more celebrating afterward.

Involving Others in Your Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Guests / Rituals / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding rituals by

Involving others in your ceremony is a great way to share your happiness on your wedding day. This is the day when you voice your promises to each other in front of family and friends. It is a community event, and including loved ones in more active ways is a great way to feel the love they have for you. There are a few different ways you can involve others in your ceremony. For example:

Before the ceremony begins:

  • You can ask someone to ensure that all honored loved ones get their corsages and boutonnierres.
  • You can charge one or more people with the job of welcoming guests and directing them to the ceremony space. This is especially helpful if you don’t have ushers as part of your wedding party, or if the parking and ceremony spaces are not in sight of each other.

During the ceremony:

  • Involving others in your ceremony can begin with the processional. You can invite grandparents, siblings or other close family members (perhaps an aunt who helped raise you) to be part of the processional.
  • Inviting someone to offer a reading is a common way to honor someone close to you, but you can also have a friend or family member offer the final wishes on behalf of your assembled guests.

If you wish to involve all of your guests in the ceremony, that is possible, too. Consider a ring warming ritual where your rings are passed among the guests. They hold the rings for a moment and silently express a wish for your marriage or imbue them with their love. When you exchange the rings, they represent not only the love of your partner, but the love and support of the important people in your lives.

Ring Warming ritual ©Midwest LifeShots Photography

A wishing pebbles ritual is another possibility. Here, your guests hold small stones (or shells or other keepsake you wish to provide) and under the direction of your celebrant, they imbue the pebble with wishes for your marriage. These stones can be individually gifted to you and the wishes shared during the actual ceremony if there are fewer than approximately 30 guests, or can be collected and shared with you as you greet your guests after the ceremony.

Wishing Pebbles

And finally, involving your guests can be as simple as them placing their thumbprint/signature on a poster as they leave the ceremony. This tradition comes from Quaker weddings where all guests sign the wedding certificate. A decorative copy of your vows, or a tree or heart shape can be provided to collect the contributions of your guests and later hung in your home as a reminder of all the special people who shared in your important day.

Thumbprint Ritual

Involving others in your ceremony brings them into your wedding day as active participants, demonstrating their love and support for you. It also offers you the opportunity to honor special people with visible roles. The day is all about you as a couple, but it is also about you as part of a loving community. Make the most of it.

Unplugged Ceremonies: A Growing Trend

 in Ceremony / Guests / Weddings  tagged unplugged ceremony / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests by

Unplugged ceremonies are a growing trend for weddings. Simply put, an unplugged ceremony means your guests leave their phones and other devices in their pockets or purses during the ceremony. There are a few reasons to consider having an unplugged ceremony:

  1. Your photographer can do a better job. I’ve seen people step into the aisle to get a picture of the bride as she enters, totally cutting off the photographer who you’ve paid to capture the important moments of your wedding day.
  2. All your guests can see better. No one is standing or holding a device up in front of other guests trying to capture your entire ceremony on video, or taking lots of pictures.
  3. Your guests are able to be fully present with you during the ceremony. Guests will stay in their seats and pay attention to the celebrant, readers, musicians and most importantly to you as you share your promises to each other. No one will step in front of your parents to get a picture or video of the ring exchange as happened at one wedding I officiated.

You can achieve an unplugged ceremony with a tasteful sign at the back of the chairs, inviting guests to put their devices away so they can fully share in your ceremony. An even more effective way to communicate your wishes is to have your celebrant make a simple announcement before the processional begins. People sometimes don’t read signs, or feel comfortable ignoring them, but rarely do they hold their devices up after being specifically requested not to.

When I glance out at your gathered guests at an unplugged wedding I see smiles, perhaps a happy tear, and many sets of eyes focused on you and engaged in the moment. Otherwise it can be like looking at a sea of screens as nearly everyone tries to snap a picture or frame a video shot. While unplugged ceremonies are gaining in popularity, I’ve also encountered couples who have no concern with their guests snapping away during the ceremony, so as with all aspects of your wedding day, you can choose what best fits you.