wedding ceremony

Rehearsals Reduce Stress

 in Ceremony / Wedding Party / Wedding processional / Wedding Rehearsal / Weddings  tagged stess reduction / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding party / wedding rehearsal by

Rehearsals reduce stress for the couple being married, their attendants and parents, and anyone else who has a role in the wedding ceremony. While I often tell people that wedding ceremonies are not rocket science, a rehearsal will help ensure that everyone looks their best and is comfortable with the experience.

I include a rehearsal in the pricing for my celebrant services for weddings because I think they are an important part of ceremony preparation. At rehearsal I meet with the couple, their attendants (bridesmaids and groomsmen), parents, and any other people who have a role in the ceremony. This includes flower girls, ring bearers, readers, and friends or family who will be running the music for the ceremony.

Rehearsals reduce stress by allowing people in the processional to practice where they are going to walk and stand. They allow readers or musicians to practice in the ceremony space. The wedding party sees who they are following up the aisle, and we discuss what cues will tell them when to walk. Once in front, everyone can find their place and know where to stand for the ceremony.

Beyond basic movement, we chat about how the men are to offer their arm to the women, and where the women are to place their hand on the offered arm. Our world is so casual these days, that this small bit of etiquette is often totally unknown to the wedding participants. We also discuss how the women should hold their flowers and remind the men to keep their hands out of their pockets. These small things can result in a more elegant appearance and much better pictures, too.

Rehearsals are often followed with a dinner or social gathering. This also reduces stress as members of the wedding party who haven’t met before can get to know each other and be more comfortable with each other at the ceremony. The wedding day is full of hustle and bustle and many guests, so a rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity to celebrate privately with those special people who are part of your wedding party, too.

The Value of Ushers

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony guests / ushers / wedding ceremony by

The value of ushers at your wedding cannot be overstated. You can choose to include them as an official part of your wedding party or they can take a less formal role as greeters or hosts. The benefit of having ushers is hard to overstate. Here are ten ways ushers can help provide an outstanding ceremony experience:

  1. Ushers can greet guests as they arrive, directing them to parking, restrooms and the ceremony space.
  2. Ushers can make sure that programs, water, lap blankets or any other items you’ve planned for your guests’ comfort are in place and handled correctly.
  3. Guests can be difficult to corral for the beginning of the ceremony. Ushers can move guests to the seats for an on time ceremony start.
  4. They can ensure that grandparents and others you’ve reserved seats for find their spot.
  5. Outdoor venues with grass can offer a trip hazard. Offering an arm to escort any guests who are unstable on their feet is a service ushers routinely provide.
  6. Even if you opt for an informal ceremony and want your guests to choose their own seats, ushers can help let guests know that, along with which rows are reserved.
  7. Ushers serve as an escort for parents or grandparents in the processional if other arrangements have not been made.
  8. Once the processional begins, ushers can hold back any late arriving guests. Once the ceremony begins, they can help them discretely find seats.
  9. Ushers can assist any guests who need to leave the ceremony space before the ceremony ends. Perhaps a parent with an unruly child needs to be directed to a quiet space. Or a guest urgently needs a restroom or shade.
  10. And finally, ushers can release guests from their seats following the ceremony, and direct them to the appropriate location for after ceremony festivities.
The value of ushers at wedding ceremonies

While ushers have historically been male friends or relatives of the groom, you don’t have to follow that tradition. It can be helpful to have ushers who know both sides of the family to identify grandparents and others who should be seated in the reserved section. These days ushers can be women, men or a couple of any gender. Select people who understand the value of ushers and they’ll be appreciated by you and your guests. Great ushers can relieve stress and add a classy touch to the beginning of your wedding day.

Four Wedding Trends for 2021

 in COVID-19 / Trends / Wedding planning / Weddings / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding trends / weddings by

Four wedding trends for 2021 are influencing couples planning their marriages this year. The pandemic continues to drive changes to what is possible and what is safe. We can’t know when we will return to some sort of “normal” where weddings are concerned, but couples will certainly be influenced by these four wedding trends this year.

  1. Shorter planning cycles. States are frequently changing the number of people who can gather based on current COVID numbers and spikes. Couples are choosing to schedule, plan, invite guests, and hold their weddings within a few weeks to months. This in turn drives the next trend.
  2. Smaller guest lists. Smaller weddings can be planned more quickly and held more safely, both considerations in 2021. Some couples are choosing to have only very close family and friends. Others are focusing on local friends and family so guests don’t have to incur the risks involved in airports, airplanes and hotels. There is an upside to more intimate weddings as couples are able to include guests in meaningful ways in the ceremony and throughout the day.
  3. More intentionality in the wedding day. Couples who have delayed or postponed weddings from last year will tend to be more thoughtful about what is truly important to about the day. They might have fewer people in attendance, but will want something special and memorable. Choices around the ceremony, dinner and reception may all be customized for your day.
  4. Weekdays. 2021 will likely host many weddings postponed from last year, along with the events for newly engaged couples. This will put a strain on venues and other wedding vendors. Venue availability in particular will drive couples to get creative and consider weekdays for their weddings.

These four wedding trends for 2021 relate to each other and are all driven by the pandemic we’re living through. If you’re planning, or re-planning a wedding for this year you’ll likely feel the impact of some or most of these. But there are upsides to each of these trends, too. Ultimately the weddings of 2021 will be special and unique because each couple is.

Your Secular Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Secular wedding / Weddings  tagged secular ceremony / secular readings / secular wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding party / wedding vows by

Your secular wedding ceremony can be what you truly want it to be. When you’re not constrained by religious requirements, you have the freedom to include only elements that are meaningful to you. The focus of the ceremony can be you as a couple, the love you’ve found together, and the commitment you are making to each other in marriage.

Writing your own vows is a great first step to making your ceremony your own. If you’re not comfortable with that idea, you can choose from literally hundreds of “repeat after me” style vows. Your vows are the public statement of your commitment to each other, so it’s important that they express the promises you want to make. Choosing a reading that reflects your priorities and feelings about love or marriage is another great way to personalize your ceremony. With a secular ceremony your reading can be sourced from any poetry, prose or quotes that speak to you.

Another benefit of choosing your secular wedding ceremony is that you don’t have to include a sermon or homily by your officiant. You can use that time to have your celebrant share highlights of your love story, include an additional reading, or simply have a shorter ceremony. Unity ritual options are nearly limitless in a secular ceremony, and if you want to have a ritual written just for you, many celebrants are willing to do that.

Wedding party surrounds the couple.

While your secular wedding ceremony can have a look and feel of a traditional ceremony, it doesn’t have to. Options for processionals, wedding parties, the ceremony spaces are limited only by your imagination. Perhaps you want your wedding party to stand in a semi-circle around you rather than in straight lines. If you choose to have only one attendant for each of you, they can stand together on one side with the celebrant on the other side of you, balancing the space and keeping you the center of attention.

Civil requirements for marriage are very minimal. Once you get your legal paperwork for your state, your creativity and the skills of your celebrant are the only limitations you’ll encounter. A personal secular ceremony can be the perfect way to begin your wedding celebration if you are non-religious or of different religions and choose to avoid conflicting requirements. Let your personalities and your love for each other shine and you’re sure to have a wonderful, memorable ceremony for you and for your guests.

Now Your Journey Begins

 in Engagement / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged engagement / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / wedding vendors by

Now your journey begins. Congratulations! If you became engaged during the 2020 holiday season, the journey to your wedding day is just beginning. No doubt, one of the most frequently asked questions you’ve received as you shared your happy news is, “Have you set a date yet?” Setting your wedding date is indeed one of the first things you’ll want to do, but it hinges primarily on your venue’s availability.

Pretty autumn venue

Once you’ve located a venue that you really like, availability of that space will largely define your choice of wedding dates. With date and venue known, it’s time to start locking in other vendors. If you have certain vendors you want to work with, you’ll want to speak with them early in your planning process. Be aware, too, that there are more photographers and DJs, for example, than celebrants and string quartets around. So prioritize speaking with in demand vendors or those with limited supply.

The complexity of wedding planning can be overwhelming, so finding wedding planner software or a physical planning binder can be helpful. Be aware, though, that the timeframe guidelines listed in these tools may not be accurate for our region. The sooner you can lock down the services and people you want to support you on your wedding day the better.

Sweet ceremony moments
Ring Exchange

Your journey begins with reaching out to many people you do not know, to secure services you may not be familiar with. This can be intimidating until you realize that the people you’ll engage with are each expert in their fields. Feel free to contact them and ask them to guide you through what you need to know. We understand that many couples are planning weddings for the first time, and don’t really know where to start. An initial email or phone call will get the ball rolling. Once you have your wedding date and venue, you have the key information most vendors will need to have before they can tell you if they are available to consider working with you.

If you’re newly engaged enjoy the moment! Take a bit of time to share your happy news with family and friends. Now your journey begins as you jump into wedding planning. Throughout the process remember the reason you’re doing it – you’ve found the love of your life and want to move forward in marriage. With that as the guiding force behind all your plans you’re sure to have a wonderful wedding day that you’ll remember forever. Again, congratulations, and I hope to hear from you when you’re ready to plan to ceremony.

Note: Due to COVID-19, Kathy is booking custom ceremonies only for dates after June 30, 2021. She is available for simple certificate signings until then.