wedding ceremony

Defining Your Ceremony Vision

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Vows  tagged officiant / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by

Defining your ceremony vision can seem like a daunting task. This is likely the first time you’ve considered what you want in your wedding ceremony. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. A good celebrant will be genuinely interested in meeting you and discussing your ceremony wishes. Here are three ways you can prepare for that meeting and tackle the process of defining your ceremony vision.

  1. First, consider what you’ve seen in other weddings. Think about those moments when you thought, “That’s special. I would like to have something like that at my wedding.” Or, on the flip side, maybe you saw something that you knew you definitely did not want at your ceremony. Both are good to share with your celebrant.
  2. Next, talk about your vows with your fiance(e). Your exchange of vows will be the highlight of the ceremony as you make your promises to one another. But there are a number of ways to accomplish that. You can write your own vows if you want them to be totally personal and unique. If that doesn’t fit your style, your celebrant will likely be able to offer sample vows in the “repeat after me” style that you can choose from. Or perhaps you’re very shy or maybe English isn’t your first language and you prefer to respond to the celebrant with a simple, “I do”. Since vows are so important in a wedding ceremony, identifying the vow style you prefer is a key part of defining your ceremony vision.
  3. Finally, before meeting with your celebrant, discuss the length and tone you want for your ceremony. I often hear, “We want a short and sweet ceremony.” But what does that mean to you? Ten minutes, 20 or more? Knowing the time frame you want will help your celebrant guide you in terms of ceremony content and flow. And what about the ceremony tone? Do you want a romantic and more serious ceremony? Perhaps you prefer a lighthearted ceremony and think that some laughter is essential. Maybe involving family members is important to you, or conversely, maybe you want to keep the focus on the two of you and your path to this moment.

Defining your ceremony vision is as simple as following these three steps. Doing so will help ensure that your wedding ceremony reflects your priorities and your personalities, and is memorable and fitting for the two of you.

A Week for Giving Thanks

 in Ceremony / Memorial services / Wedding Ceremony / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged Giving thanks / memorial services / wedding ceremony / welcoming ceremony by

A week for giving thanks is upon us, offering a time to reflect on the good things in life. I invite you to share in my reflection. I encourage you to take a few moments between the guests, the turkey, the football, and the travel to reflect on the good things in your life, too.

This year I am grateful for vaccines that have allowed us to gather more safely to celebrate the important moments in life. It may have been to welcome a new child to the family, to voice your commitment to each other in marriage, or to commemorate the passing of a loved one. Whatever the reason, our humanity urges us to gather at these times to recognize that our lives have changed. Vaccines have helped us gather more safely.

I am also grateful for the couples I’ve worked with this year on their weddings. A few were couples who legally married last year under COVID restrictions and chose to celebrate in 2021 with a full ceremony and wedding day attended by family and friends. Other couples delayed their weddings until this year or had planned for a 2021 ceremony all along. All the couples invested themselves in their ceremony – providing information and reviews to ensure that the ceremony reflected them and told their story.

A Celebration of Life for a member of my family was both a responsibility and privilege earlier this year, and I was honored to be asked to lead that gathering. That event was balanced by a Baby Welcoming ceremony this fall that served to remind me of the joy and beauty to be found in the newest members of our community.

My life has been touched by all these people celebrating milestone moments. I feel especially honored to be invited into their lives, to share in their stories, and hopefully, to have made their days a bit more memorable. During this week for giving thanks, I offer my sincere wishes to everyone for a safe and Happy Thanksgiving Day.

Special Seating at Weddings

 in Ceremony / Guests / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning  tagged ceremony seating / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

Special seating at weddings is usually provided for the parents and grandparents of the couple, and possibly other close family members. These seats are at the front of the ceremony space to provide the best view of the couple and the ceremony. There are a few things to consider when planning for special seating.

  1. Who do you want to have special seating for at your wedding?
    As mentioned, you’ll want to have places for parents and grandparents at a minimum. If your parents are divorced, you’ll want to make sure their new partners (if any) are seated with them. If you have siblings who are not in the wedding party, you’ll also want them to be up front in reserved spaces.

Other people you may choose to provide special seating for include: spouses/partners of members of your wedding party, godparents, and those who will offer readings during the ceremony. Make sure to allow space for escorts/partners for any of these people. Importantly, you’ll want to have a parent of any flower girls or ring bearers seated up front, along with a chair for the children to sit in during the ceremony.

How will these important people know where to sit?
Ushers can be a great help with guiding these people to the places you’ve allocated for them. Providing a list to the ushers can be helpful here, and ideally the ushers will be able to recognize these special guests. It’s also very helpful for people to be contacted ahead of time to let them know that spaces will be reserved for them and invite them to ask the ushers for assistance. The advance notification can be a task delegated to the moms, dads or siblings.

If you don’t have ushers, you’ll want to place “Reserved” signs on each row near the front, at a minimum. Consider actual seat assignments with name tags on the chairs if many people are involved, or if you’re concerned that your guests may not understand wedding etiquette. Just be careful not to use markers that will transfer to clothing if guests will be sitting or leaning against them.

  1. How will others know to avoid the special seating?
    This is what the “Reserved” signs are for, but recent experiences tell me that sometimes that isn’t enough. In one case, an aunt and grandfather sat in the seats in the front row normally reserved for the groom’s parents. They had to be asked repeatedly (and forcefully) to vacate the seats so the parents would have a place to sit after entering in the processional. In the second case, a stepfather who was seated before the processional began made it nearly impossible for the groom’s father to sit on the aisle as had been rehearsed. The stepfather had to be asked to move down the row as the processional was beginning. Thankfully, he moved and the situation was handled discretely, and no one was aware.

Special seating at weddings can be a bit tricky to coordinate, but is worth the time and effort. You want the very special people in your world to be treated warmly and respectfully. You want other guests to know where, and where not, to sit without feeling uncomfortable. And you want everyone ready to celebrate with you as the music starts, the wedding party enters, and your ceremony begins!

Making The Day Your Own

 in Personalization / Readings / Rituals / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged custom wedding ceremony / handfasting / ring exchange / wedding ceremony / wedding readings by

Making the day your own is often a desire expressed by couples planning their wedding. I’ve seen some great examples this year of couples including elements of the wedding day that reflect who they are and honor their relationship. Enjoy reading about these thoughtful, original couples!

The first couple each had interesting passions. He loved all things from the Viking era, and she researched and appreciated all things Celtic. They wanted to include both interests in their ceremony.The rings were presented on an ax in an adaptation of the Viking ritual that placed the rings on family swords that were exchanged during the wedding.

After the exchange of vows and rings, the couple invited their siblings to perform a handfasting ritual honoring the bride’s Celtic heritage. The sash used was made from the family tartan.

Ax and Sash

The second couple used rock music by Metallica throughout the ceremony, and the bride wore black. Both were authentic for the couple and both were appreciated by their friends. I did notice a shared glance between a few of the older relatives, but the couple felt seen for their authentic selves.

Black Wedding Gown

And last, but not least, another couple was creating a blended family with the bride’s two daughters. They wanted the ceremony to recognize both the marriage of the couple and the formation of the new family. The bride located a children’s book titled, “Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You” by Nancy Tillman. The sweet sentiments were reinforced when the couple presented a copy of the book to the girls so they could follow along during the reading. Later in the ceremony the new stepdad gathered the girls close and made promises to them and placed gold necklaces around their necks to remember the day.

My Love Will Find You

Each of these couples took the concept of making the day your own to heart. The results were as different as the couples were, and each was spectacularly successful. So don’t get burdened by traditions or trends. Making the day your own will result in an authentic wedding day filled with memories to treasure.

Honoring Loved Ones at Weddings

 in Ceremony / Uncategorized / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged honoring loved ones / memorial moment / remembering loved ones / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Honoring loved ones at weddings can be accomplished in a few different ways. If the person (or people) were close to you, you’ll want to find a way to include them in your special day. But weddings are happy occasions, and you don’t want everyone getting sad and distracted during your ceremony.

Honoring loved ones can be done subtly or in a bolder fashion. If you’re having a ceremony program, a remembrance section naming family and friends who have passed may be sufficient. Including a general comment early in the ceremony can also be done gracefully. It can have more impact if you name your loved ones. You can even include a moment of silence in their honor. But if you want something more visual, here are a few options to consider:

  1. Set up a table at the back of the ceremony space with pictures of your loved ones with a plaque and/or candle. Memorial Pictures & Message Memorial Candle
  2. Place a flower or other memento in their honor on the chair they would have occupied. Memorial Mementos
  3. Bring a memento of them into the ceremony – this couple hung a favorite wind chime to honor the groom’s mom. Memorial Wind Chime
  4. At one ceremony I performed, the bride placed a uniform and dress on chairs to honor her grandparents.Honoring Grandparents

Moving beyond the ceremony, honoring loved ones can also be a part of your reception. Place wedding pictures near your cake or gift table can bring them symbolically into your celebration. Or perhaps you’ll dance to their favorite song or raise a toast to them. All are ways to honor the role and impact they’ve had in making you the person you are on your wedding day. Honoring loved ones can be a sensitive topic, but it’s worthwhile to reflect on those important people in your life and choose a way to include them in your wedding day.