wedding ceremony

Small Wedding Parties – Pros and Cons

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding party by

Small wedding parties seem to be increasingly popular option, especially for couples who are over 30 and who have already established their life together. They may already own a home together, may have even started their family together, but are definitely focused on the wedding day being about them as a couple.

If any of these characteristics describe you, or if you are simply looking for a simpler kind of wedding day, opting for a small wedding party may be the way to go. I define small wedding parties as zero to two attendants (bridesmaids, groomsmen, whatever) for each of you, and no children (flower girls, ring bearers). Admittedly, this is a somewhat arbitrary definition, but if you’re going to achieve the benefits of a small wedding party, I think it’s a pretty good definition.

So what are the benefits of a small wedding party? Here’s a brief list:
– lower cost: fewer gifts to buy, fewer cars to arrange to transport the wedding party, fewer bouquets and boutonnieres needed, smaller rehearsal dinner expense, smaller salon bill (if you’re paying for the women’s hair and makeup for the day).

– less stress: fewer people to get in the right place at the right time – think pictures, ceremony line-up, more pictues, grand entrance, wedding party dance, more pictures.

– less drama: fewer people by definition means fewer emergencies, fewer wardrobe malfunctions (or ill-fitting tuxes), fewer last minute illnesses, and few hurt feelings.

– more meaningful time with your wedding party: as a group of two, four or six people (you plus one or two attendants each) you become an intimate party unto yourselves, rather than a small herd you’re just trying to keep together. Quick conversations and shared moments can become lasting memories of your wedding day.

– more focus on you as a couple: with only a few of your closest relatives and friends standing up with you, the focus will naturally stay more on the two of you. They will be honored to be part of the party, but are more inclined to be focused on helping you have the day of your dreams.

Couple with no attendants

OK so with all these benefits, what are the down sides to small wedding parties? Well, you’re going to have a smaller number of people surrounding you all day (you get to decide if this is a plus or minus). If you are a real extrovert and love a crowd, a small wedding party may not be the right choice for you. And if you’re looking for lavish showers, bachelor or bachelorette parties, you’ll need to include friends outside the wedding party in those festivities, too. And the most common driver of large wedding parties is the desire to not pick among friends, to favor some over others when selecting your attendants. But a truly small wedding party – only a single honor attendant for each of you, or no attendants at all – may be a great solution to that problem, too. Give some thought to your personalities, to your wishes for your day, and what the right size wedding party meets your vision, and only then start inviting people to stand with you on this very important day.

Tick, Tick, Tick: Why and How to Start Your Ceremony On Time

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony start time / wedding ceremony by

There are many reasons you want to ensure that you start your ceremony on time:
First: You have many other wedding day activities yet to come, and starting your ceremony late will throw them all off. You really don’t want warm salads and cold entrees at dinner, and that’s a real possibility with a late ceremony start.
Second: Your family and friends have made significant efforts to be with you on your special day. It is incredibly rude to leave them sitting in the sweltering sun, cold rain and wind, or uncomfortable chairs while you get your act together.
Third: Starting late will increase everyone’s stress, including yours. Rather than having people telling you to hurry up, or stressing about time slipping away, your day will be much more enjoyable if you’re able to keep things moving along.

So what can you do to help ensure that your ceremony (and your entire day) will run on time? Here are some practical tips:
1. Establish a schedule for the day that includes every activity you can think of – hair and make-up appointments, time to dress, time for your first look with your photographer… and don’t forget to plan for time to have something to eat and drink, and even a few minutes for you two alone throughout the day.

2. Once you have your schedule drafted, build in travel time, rest breaks and just a little unscheduled time here and there in case an activity runs long (they always do).

3. Now that you’ve got your schedule set, make sure that everyone affected has a copy. This is a great thing to email ahead of the weekend, have copies of at rehearsal, and even a few more for the wedding day. Remember, too, to have someone notify family members when to arrive for pictures, or to stay after the ceremony for them so you don’t waste time waiting on or trying to track down the errant uncle who has already found the bar or left the ceremony venue.

4. If you have an attendant or family member who always runs late, consider assigning them a “buddy” who can help them stay on time for this one, important day. It’s also a good idea for each of you to have a talk with your own attendants ahead of time, letting them know how important it is to you to stay on time, and enlisting their help to make this happen. Sometimes that personal touch is all it takes to keep people focused.

5. A planner or day of coordinator can also be a great help with the schedule, chasing errant participants and keeping you on schedule throughout the day.

There are many things to plan for and keep track of for a wedding day, but these ideas can help keep things running smoothly and allow you to enjoy your day and savor the many special moments without feeling rushed or stressed.