wedding ceremony

Modern Ceremony Helpers, Leaving Tradition Behind

 in Ceremony / Trends / Weddings  tagged escorts / modern ceremonies / modern ceremony helpers / ushers / wedding ceremony / wedding helpers / weddings by

Modern ceremony helpers provide great support for you on your wedding day. Last week I wrote about how couples are selecting modern wedding parties to surround themselves with the important people in their lives on their wedding day. Today we look at leaving tradition behind with regard to your ceremony helpers to achieve that same goal.

There are many opportunities to include family and close friends in your wedding ceremony, and you have even greater flexibility when you choose to leave tradition behind as you choose those modern ceremony helpers. Ushers are a great place to start. Ushers may escort guests to their seats, distribute ceremony programs, provide directions to restrooms, parking, and the ceremony space. Ushers were traditionally male relatives or friends of the groom. Today this role can be filled with friends or relatives of yours or your partner’s and can be any gender. Some couples use the terms “host and hostess”, or “greeters” for these helpers to be more inclusive. Select outgoing people who will be comfortable greeting and assisting your guests and making them feel welcome at your ceremony.

Traditionally an usher has served as the escort for your parents during the processional, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Having the groom escort his parents into the ceremony space is becoming more common as a way to give him a moment comparable to the bride’s entrance. I’ve also seen the bride’s parents enter together, with the dad seating his wife and then returning to the back to escort the bride at the end of the processional. Sometimes parents enter together at the beginning of the processional with you and your partner entering as a couple at the end. Another option is to select a close relative to escort parents – someone they are close to and want to share this special moment with.

There is one more twist on modern ceremony helpers that needs to be mentioned – flower grandmas. This trend has your grandmas replacing traditional flower girls, spreading flower petals as they enter before taking their seats for the ceremony. Especially if there aren’t grandpas present to escort these ladies, it can be a special way to include these important women in your wedding day.

You can be creative in selecting your modern ceremony helpers. Don’t feel constrained by tradition, but rather focus on who you want to have near you and supporting you on your wedding day.

Backup Ceremony Venue: An Important Part of Your Wedding Plans

 in Ceremony / Venue / Weddings  tagged bad weather venue / wedding ceremony / wedding venue / wedding venues by

Selecting a backup ceremony venue in case of bad weather is an important part of your wedding plans. No matter how meticulously you plan each aspect of your wedding day, the weather is out of your control. By selecting an appropriate backup venue you remove a significant unknown and reduce your stress.

If you are planning an outdoor ceremony, having a backup ceremony venue and plan is absolutely essential in Minnesota. Our weather is so variable that you can encounter snow in May, severe storms throughout the summer, and chill winds by September. But if you’ve identified a good backup ceremony venue you can approach your wedding day confident that you’ll have a beautiful, memorable day regardless of the weather.

So what are the characteristics of a good back up ceremony venue? Ideally, it will be in the same location as your outdoor ceremony venue. This allows your guests to arrive at the same location regardless of weather. If this is not possible, you’ll need to have a very detailed communication plan to let your guests know which venue to go to on the wedding day. Make sure that you have other people prepared to execute the communication plan as you and your wedding party will be busy with other activities before the ceremony.

Your backup ceremony venue also needs to be a place that you can envision using for your ceremony. Make sure you know where you will enter from, where the chairs will be set up, what the lighting is like, and if it is air conditioned or heated as needed. Consider accessibility for your guests, and think about what pictures will look like in this space.

With plans in place for your backup ceremony venue, a final consideration will be when you need to make the final decision on an inside or outside ceremony. Some venues require 24 or even 48 hours notice to prepare the ceremony venue, while others are more flexible. Remember, too, that you may need to notify all guests of the location change, so leave time to put your communication plan into effect. A last suggestion – once you make the call to move inside, don’t second guess yourself. Embrace the idea, knowing you selected an indoor venue you can be happy with, and move forward to enjoy your wedding day to the fullest. You’re marrying the love of your life, and everything else is less important.

Three Reasons to Hire a Professional Officiant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Trends / Weddings  tagged officiant / professionals / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant / wedding professionals / weddings by

There are many more than three reasons to hire a professional officiant for your wedding ceremony, but there are three that I hear most often. As both a trained and certified Life Cycle Celebrant (R), and an endorsed Humanist Celebrant for a decade I’d had the opportunity to hear many horror stories from people who have seen poor wedding ceremonies. One of the most common causes for complaint is an unprepared family member or friend acting as the officiant. Here’s what couples have shared with me:

First, when I meet with couples for an initial consultation (a no cost, no obligation meeting) I’ve heard many times that they had never considered some of the topics I raise. For example, they haven’t thought about the logistics of the processional: who will walk in the processional, in what order, etc? They haven’t considered the possible elements of their ceremony – readings, rituals, guest involvement options, and more. They haven’t thought about where and how they will greet their guests following the ceremony. By engaging with a professional officiant all these topics will be discussed and your wishes will be honored.

Second, most couples in our area opt to have a rehearsal. As an experienced professional I can run your rehearsal in an efficient and effective manner. I can get and hold the attention of your wedding party, provide tips to help make everyone look sharp for the ceremony, and make sure that all the important points are covered. I’ve heard many times from couples, parents and attendants that the rehearsal reduced their stress and uncertainty so they could relax and enjoy the actual ceremony experience.

And third, professional officiants can prepare and preside over your ceremony in a way that is memorable for all the right reasons. The ceremony will be written well in advance, and you will have seen and approved it. The ceremony will follow a logical sequence and an emotional arc that leaves your guests satisfied and ready to move on to the rest of the celebration. Your officiant will offer the ceremony with professional vocal skills to ensure clarity and engage your guests.

These are just three reasons to hire a professional officiant based on my personal experience. You can find another perspective on this topic in an article from The Knot, here.

There is a trend toward having a friend or family member prepare and offer your wedding ceremony, but there are many possible pitfalls with that approach. Sometimes it works out well, but too often the ceremony is poorly written and presented, and opportunities for truly memorable moments are missed. Even a well-paid professional officiant accounts for a small percentage of your overall wedding budget, but will provide a great first act for your wedding day festivities.

Outdoor Wedding Season Arrives

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged outdoor wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Outdoor wedding season arrives once more in Minnesota with the warm weather, green grass, and soft breezes. If you’re planning an outdoor ceremony there are a number of things to consider and plan for.

Outdoor Wedding Season – Plummer House
  1. Seating is not usually an issue if you are working with golf club or similar venue, but if your ceremony will take place in a park or in your yard for example, you’ll want to make arrangements for seating for your guests. Rental chairs are commonly available, but make sure you understand if delivery, set-up, take down and chair return are included in the quoted costs, or if you’ll need to make arrangements for all those tasks.
  2. An idyllic ceremony setting can be disrupted by pesky bugs. Understand what services the venue provides to control bugs, and what you are allowed to do. Consider having bug repellent and fans available for guests if there is no other way to control the bugs in the area.
  3. Outdoor ceremony venues can be challenging from a sound perspective. First of all, you’ll want to determine if there is electrical service at the ceremony site. You’ll also want to plan for adequate sound equipment for musicians/DJs as well as all ceremony speakers. If your guests have made the effort to be with you on your wedding day you want them to be able to hear all the festivities.
  4. After cold, dark winters we are always happy to see the sun. But it is possible to have too much of a good thing. Consider the placement of the sun at ceremony time. Will your guests or wedding party be looking directly into the sun? Is it possible to rotate the set-up of the ceremony space to remove that problem? And too much sun can also cause heat related health issues for you and your guests. You may want to consider the length of the ceremony, some way to provide shade for everyone, and cold water to keep people hydrated.
  5. We always hope for pleasant, sunny days throughout the outdoor wedding season, but know that Minnesota’s variable weather doesn’t always provide that. So you will need to identify an alternate ceremony venue in case of inclement weather. Rain, storms, strong winds and extreme temperatures can all require a move indoors. If you have a comprehensive bad weather plan established you can approach your wedding day hoping for ideal weather but confident that you’re ready to deal with any weather conditions.

While we welcome the opportunity to step outside for ceremonies, the outdoor wedding season requires thoughtful preparation. With some planning you can ensure that your day is as comfortable as possible for you and your guests. Here’s hoping for many pleasant spring, summer and fall weekends for everyone planning outdoor ceremonies this year.

Handfasting Rituals: What’s Old is New Again

 in Ceremony / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged handfasting / unity ritual / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Handfasting rituals have been used to recognize and celebrate couples’ commitments to each other across hundreds of years and thousands of miles. First documented in the 16th century in Scotland and used to mark a betrothal or engagement, handfasting today is used as a unity ritual in a wedding ceremony. It is a visual and physical act the signifies the commitment and union of the couple. The handfasting ritual is the genesis of the phrase “tying the knot” in relation to marriage.

There are a number of ways to perform modern handfasting rituals. In all of them, the couple joins hands which are then gently bound together. Once you clasp hands, though, the actual wrapping and tying of your hands can happen any of the following ways:

  • A single cord or sash can be wrapped and tied around your hands by the celebrant as they explain the significance of the binding.
  • Alternately, you can have one or more people assist with the binding while the celebrant takes a narrators role. Couples often choose their parents or siblings or honor attendants for this special role in their ceremony.
Photo credit: Van Dreel Photography
  • Yet another approach to handfasting rituals is to use multiple ribbons or cords placed across your hands by people of your choosing. These ribbons can be used to signify wishes for your marriage going forward. Once all the ribbons are placed, they are tied together in a single knot, gathering the wishes up together. One couple marrying shortly after marriage equality passed in the US had seven friends use ribbons the color of the Pride rainbow, and individually extended their wishes. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

At the end of handfasting rituals you simply slip your hands out of the cord, sash or ribbons without untying the knot. That knot now symbolizes your marriage which, it is hoped, will be a long and happy one.

No matter which approach you prefer for handfasting rituals, they are wonderful ways to demonstrate your union and to involve important people in your ceremony. Pick the option that speaks to you, and have fun making it unique and representative of your love for each other.