wedding ceremonies

Community Celebration of Marriage

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Vow Renewals / Wedding Ceremony  tagged celebration of marriage / community celebration / vow renewal ceremonies / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

The idea of a community celebration of marriage is increasing in popularity for couples that have been married in small, private ceremonies. Covid has forced many couples to opt for a small, legal marriage when larger gatherings were not safe or possible. With restrictions easing, some couples are choosing to celebrate their marriage with family and friends now.

Small gathering due to Covid restrictions

In cases where you’re already legally married, you can, of course, opt to just host a party or reception. Choosing to include a ceremony in the community celebration, however, allows you to voice your promises to one another surrounded by the important people in your lives. Your exchange of vows (and optionally, rings) is the heart of any wedding day. Why not include it in a belated celebration you plan with family and friends?

This kind of ceremony is technically a Vow Renewal ceremony, since you’ve already exchanged some level of vows when you legally wed. But it can look like any other wedding ceremony. You can include a processional, wedding party, reading, love story, exchange of vow and rings, a unity ritual, and any other ceremony elements that are meaningful to you. The only difference will be that your celebrant will not “pronounce” you married. Instead they may say something like, “It is my honor to publicly announce that you are married,” or “It is my honor to present to you as a married couple…”. Working with a celebrant you can make your ceremony as personal and unique or as traditional as you wish.

Venue set for large wedding ceremony

Couples who married during the pandemic do not need to be cheated of the community celebration of marriage. After all, marriage is a social construct and benefits greatly from being recognized and celebrated with your community of family and friends.

Choosing an Inclusive Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Inclusive ceremony / Readings / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Party  tagged inclusive ceremony / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding party by

Choosing an inclusive ceremony is becoming a popular option for couples being married. An inclusive ceremony is one that avoids gendered terms like his and hers. As we become more aware of discrimination based on gender and sexual identity, it’s thoughtful and welcoming to choose an inclusive ceremony.

Here are a few ways to have an inclusive ceremony:

  • Choose songs for the ceremony whose lyrics can apply to couples of all kinds.
  • Choose readings that avoid the use gendered pronouns like he/his and she/hers.
  • Ask your celebrant to avoid language that implies all couples are male/female. Rather speak to loving couples and partners without identifying specific sex or gender identities.
  • Choose your wedding party without regard to traditional gendered roles. Brides can have male bodied people stand up for them. Grooms can have female bodied people stand up for them. Choose your wedding party based on who you are closest to. Consider who will support you best on your wedding day, regardless of sex or gender identity.

Perhaps you are not a traditional male/female couple. Choosing an inclusive ceremony is an obvious choice for you. But traditional het couples request an inclusive ceremony to be more comfortable and respectful to some of their family and friends. You want everyone who attends your wedding ceremony to be able to feel the love you’ve found together. You also want them to be able to relate to the emotions being celebrated. To be able to envision themselves experiencing that kind of love. Choosing an inclusive ceremony makes that possible.

Discuss your desire for an inclusive ceremony when you first meet with your celebrant. If they aren’t willing to work with you to ensure that all your guests can see themselves in the ceremony experience, choose another celebrant. Request to review the ceremony draft to ensure that you are comfortable with the language being used. Each couple may have particular sensitivities so inclusive ceremonies are not “one size fits all”. But at the end of the day, you deserve to have a ceremony that you’re 100% comfortable with. Choosing an inclusive ceremony may be the perfect way to do that.

Fully vaccinated – Resuming All Celebrant Services

 in Ceremony / COVID-19 / Memorial services / Uncategorized / Weddings / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged ceremony services / COVID-19 / custom ceremony / memorial services / wedding ceremonies / welcoming ceremonies by

Fully vaccinated – two of the most encouraging and freeing words in the world these days. I completed the COVID-19 vaccination series on April 1st, and am considered fully vaccinated as of the day this blog posts. Therefore, I am resuming all celebrant services.

Being fully vaccinated allows me to move more freely in the world. As more Minnesotans get vaccinated, it will be safer for all of us. I’m encouraged by the rate of vaccinations happening in the Rochester area and throughout the state. The governor has eased restrictions on gatherings, and my phone and email are busy again.

Custom Weddings

Clients are planning ceremonies for later this year and for next year, and I’m happy to book a full range of ceremony services for August 2021 and later. So if you’re looking for a simple Certificate Signing or Vow Exchange in Rochester I can help. If you want a custom ceremony in Rochester or throughout southeastern Minnesota, please take a look through this website, and contact me. I’d love to learn more about what you want in your wedding ceremony, a welcoming ceremony for your new baby, or a special memorial service to honor a loved one. I can offer options and suggestions based on the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve officiated over the past 11 years.

Custom memorial services

I’m still offering no cost, no obligation initial consultations via video at this time. Until more of the population is able to access vaccines and become fully vaccinated that’s the safest way for us to connect. As the weather warms we can arrange to meet in person outside, too.

Family puzzle for Child Welcoming ceremony.

As ceremony planning starts to pick up, and we look forward to gathering with loved ones to celebrate the important moments in life, please know that I am here to support you, to work with you to craft the ceremony you want, and to authentically celebrate your milestone moment!

Ceremonies to Remember: Involving Others

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged blended family / memorable wedding / personalized wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Involving Others in novel ways in your ceremony shows your love and respect for them. This post is the third in the Ceremonies to Remember series where I reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. The previous posts focused on ceremonies I’ve done for family members and unique processionals.

Traditional ways of involving others in your ceremony include as bridesmaids and groomsmen, as ushers and flower girls. But some of the couples I married found unique ways to include those important to them. In one case the groom had a daughter who was about 10 years old. They wanted to include her in the ceremony to honor the new family they were becoming. A handfasting had been chosen as their unity ritual, and they chose to have his daughter actual wrap and tie the ribbon, signifying her support for their marriage. The cord was made extra long, so after the couple were connected, the daughter placed her hand on top of theirs. The cord was then wrapped and tied around the three hands, denoting the new family formed by the ceremony. It was a touching moment, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.

Family Handfasting

A second couple chose to honor their parents in a way that also honored their heritage. Early in the wedding ceremony the parents stepped forward to present gifts of bread, wine, salt and a coin to the couple. Each had significance from their European heritage which was shared with the guests. The ritual also made clear the love and support the bride and groom were receiving from their new in-laws as they were welcomed to the family.

Parents gifts

The final example of involving others in a ceremony in a special way honored the bride’s Indian heritage. After the exchange of vows and rings in the western tradition, her grandfather presided over the Seven Steps ritual. This ritual marks the commitment the couple makes to each other as they take their first steps as a married couple. To make this moment even more special, he had performed the same ritual with his daughter (the bride’s mother) when she married nearly 30 years ago.

These three examples show how some thought, creativity and sensitivity when involving others in your wedding ceremony ensure that it will be significant and memorable for everyone. When you choose to have a ceremony written just for you there are nearly endless ways of involving others who are important to you.

Finding Your Wedding Officiant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Secular wedding / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged legal wedding / selecting wedding celebrant / selecting wedding officiant / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant / weddings by

Finding your wedding officiant is one of the most significant decisions you will make about your wedding. Your ceremony is the element of your wedding day that legally marries you – what the day is all about. It is also the first “public” event of day, where your guests gather with you and your wedding party. Your ceremony sets the tone for the rest of your day, so you want to select an officiant who can create that celebratory first impression to get things started on a high note.

A recent article in Brides magazine includes not only information about officiant costs, but has a great set of questions you can ask a potential officiant. The article closes with some considerations to help guide you in making the right final decision. It’s definitely worth a read before you embark on the task of finding your wedding officiant.

Clarification on some terms may help you in choosing your officiant, too. Most broadly, an officiant is the person who will legally marry you. They may be religious, secular or civil, but if they have the legal standing to marry you, they are an officiant. Religious officiants include priests, ministers, rabbis, etc. Civil officiants, depending on your state laws, may carry Judge, Notary, or similar titles. Secular officiants often, but not always, use the title Celebrant. But beware though, the celebrant title does not have a consistent definition, so anyone can call themselves a celebrant. You’ll want to ask a few questions about any officiant’s education, training and experience before choosing to work with them.

It’s also important to understand how each potential officiant works with clients. You may want to ask questions including:

  • Do we get to see the ceremony script ahead of time?
  • Can we make/request changes to the ceremony script?
  • How do you personalize the ceremony for us?
  • Can we write our own vows? Select our own music?
  • How do we best communicate with each other – email, phone, text?

There aren’t right or wrong questions to the questions above. It is important, however, that you have a good understanding of and are comfortable with the answers the officiant provides.

So go ahead and begin your search for your officiant as soon as you have your wedding date and venue identified. Finding your wedding officiant can feel like a daunting task. You’ll find, however, that most officiants are approachable, kind, and are willing to guide your initial discussion if you prefer. They are the professionals after all, and have more experience than you do.