ushers

Sharing Observations From an Unexpected Wedding

 in Guests / Rituals / Wedding Ceremony  tagged ushers / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by


Sharing observations from an unexpected wedding I stumbled across last weekend. A wedding took place at the resort I was visiting for a family gathering. It was a unique opportunity to observe a ceremony that I wasn’t performing. Here are some things I noted that you might want to consider for your own ceremony.

  1. Have your celebrant invite people to stand and sit at appropriate times. There was a lengthy interaction between the couple and their parents at the beginning of the ceremony. The guests were visibly shifting around, not sure if they should stand or be seated during it. Eventually the celebrant did invite people to be seated, but they would have been able to see what was happening in front if they had been seated before this ritual.
  2. Make sure your ushers know what you want them to do. This couple had four ushers which should have been more than adequate. However, they were standing around socializing before the ceremony and did not help move guests toward the seats. They also did not hold late arrivals during the processional, so a couple walked part way up the aisle between the seating of the mothers and the entrance of the wedding party.
  3. Consider allowing the women in your wedding party to select their own dresses, coordinating only by color. All seven female attendants had obviously selected their own dresses. Some were tea length, others floor length. I saw chiffon, lace, jersey, and satin, all in a peachy champagne color. The maid of honor wore a darker, almost brown velvet dress that coordinated but allowed her to stand out. Taking this approach with your attendants allows them each to feel comfortable and beautiful as they support you throughout the day.
  4. Explain any rituals or actions included in the ceremony. After the exchange of vows and rings, the couple stepped to a small table at the back of the ceremony space. I have no idea what they did there as nothing was explained and it was difficult to see. A simple introduction by the celebrant would have made this more meaningful.
  5. Help your guests know where to go/what comes next after the ceremony. Remember those ushers I mentioned above? At the end of the ceremony they remained seated in their back row instead of releasing the guests from their rows. There also as no announcement made to tell the guests where to go immediately following the ceremony. The all remained seated for a few awkward moments before some guests in the middle of the chairs stood up and started to leave the space. Others followed, but having the ushers facilitate the exit would have been pleasant for the guests.

A ceremony was not on my agenda for our family gathering last weekend. But I hope that sharing observations from an unexpected wedding will provide some food for thought as you plan your special day.

The Value of Ushers

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony guests / ushers / wedding ceremony by

The value of ushers at your wedding cannot be overstated. You can choose to include them as an official part of your wedding party or they can take a less formal role as greeters or hosts. The benefit of having ushers is hard to overstate. Here are ten ways ushers can help provide an outstanding ceremony experience:

  1. Ushers can greet guests as they arrive, directing them to parking, restrooms and the ceremony space.
  2. Ushers can make sure that programs, water, lap blankets or any other items you’ve planned for your guests’ comfort are in place and handled correctly.
  3. Guests can be difficult to corral for the beginning of the ceremony. Ushers can move guests to the seats for an on time ceremony start.
  4. They can ensure that grandparents and others you’ve reserved seats for find their spot.
  5. Outdoor venues with grass can offer a trip hazard. Offering an arm to escort any guests who are unstable on their feet is a service ushers routinely provide.
  6. Even if you opt for an informal ceremony and want your guests to choose their own seats, ushers can help let guests know that, along with which rows are reserved.
  7. Ushers serve as an escort for parents or grandparents in the processional if other arrangements have not been made.
  8. Once the processional begins, ushers can hold back any late arriving guests. Once the ceremony begins, they can help them discretely find seats.
  9. Ushers can assist any guests who need to leave the ceremony space before the ceremony ends. Perhaps a parent with an unruly child needs to be directed to a quiet space. Or a guest urgently needs a restroom or shade.
  10. And finally, ushers can release guests from their seats following the ceremony, and direct them to the appropriate location for after ceremony festivities.
The value of ushers at wedding ceremonies

While ushers have historically been male friends or relatives of the groom, you don’t have to follow that tradition. It can be helpful to have ushers who know both sides of the family to identify grandparents and others who should be seated in the reserved section. These days ushers can be women, men or a couple of any gender. Select people who understand the value of ushers and they’ll be appreciated by you and your guests. Great ushers can relieve stress and add a classy touch to the beginning of your wedding day.

Modern Ceremony Helpers, Leaving Tradition Behind

 in Ceremony / Trends / Weddings  tagged escorts / modern ceremonies / modern ceremony helpers / ushers / wedding ceremony / wedding helpers / weddings by

Modern ceremony helpers provide great support for you on your wedding day. Last week I wrote about how couples are selecting modern wedding parties to surround themselves with the important people in their lives on their wedding day. Today we look at leaving tradition behind with regard to your ceremony helpers to achieve that same goal.

There are many opportunities to include family and close friends in your wedding ceremony, and you have even greater flexibility when you choose to leave tradition behind as you choose those modern ceremony helpers. Ushers are a great place to start. Ushers may escort guests to their seats, distribute ceremony programs, provide directions to restrooms, parking, and the ceremony space. Ushers were traditionally male relatives or friends of the groom. Today this role can be filled with friends or relatives of yours or your partner’s and can be any gender. Some couples use the terms “host and hostess”, or “greeters” for these helpers to be more inclusive. Select outgoing people who will be comfortable greeting and assisting your guests and making them feel welcome at your ceremony.

Traditionally an usher has served as the escort for your parents during the processional, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Having the groom escort his parents into the ceremony space is becoming more common as a way to give him a moment comparable to the bride’s entrance. I’ve also seen the bride’s parents enter together, with the dad seating his wife and then returning to the back to escort the bride at the end of the processional. Sometimes parents enter together at the beginning of the processional with you and your partner entering as a couple at the end. Another option is to select a close relative to escort parents – someone they are close to and want to share this special moment with.

There is one more twist on modern ceremony helpers that needs to be mentioned – flower grandmas. This trend has your grandmas replacing traditional flower girls, spreading flower petals as they enter before taking their seats for the ceremony. Especially if there aren’t grandpas present to escort these ladies, it can be a special way to include these important women in your wedding day.

You can be creative in selecting your modern ceremony helpers. Don’t feel constrained by tradition, but rather focus on who you want to have near you and supporting you on your wedding day.

Unsung Heroes of Wedding Ceremonies

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ushers / wedding ceremonies / weddings by

The unsung heroes of wedding ceremonies, in my opinion, are ushers. There are many small tasks that ushers can handle, freeing up the rest of the wedding party and parents to handle other demands on their time.

Photography sessions often run very close to ceremony times, with guests arriving while the wedding party is still busy with photos, or trying to quickly refresh make-up, catch a quick drink of water, or cool off if it’s a warm day. Our unsung heroes can step in to welcome guests, direct them to restrooms, to the ceremony space, and to refreshments if they are being offered at that time.

As ceremony time approaches, ushers can encourage guests who are socializing to move into the ceremony space. Depending on the formality of the ceremony, they can offer programs, formally seat guests, and make sure that family members with reserved seats are escorted to them.

A critical role for ushers is to act as traffic managers as the processional begins. They can quietly greet late arriving guests and have them stay in the back until the processional finishes and the ceremony begins. At that point they can assist those guests to open seats in a discreet manner. Some couples include ushers in the processional, asking them to escort grandparents or parents, but ideally one usher is always available to deal with late arrivals.

During the ceremony itself, ushers who are seated near the back can assist any guests who are feeling ill, need to find a restroom, or even help chase down a runaway child. At the end of the ceremony the wedding party and parents leave the ceremony space, followed by the celebrant. The ushers step forward to release the guests from their seats. They can provide the additional service of reminding guests where they need to go next, and if necessary can even hand out maps or directions to out of town guests.

Your ushers provide a warm welcome to your guests, making them feel appreciated and cared for. They relieve stress for you and the wedding party by handling all kinds of small tasks in those busy moments before, during and after the ceremony. Consider adding these unsung heroes of wedding ceremonies to your wedding party. You’ll be glad you did.