selecting wedding celebrant

Finding Your Wedding Officiant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Secular wedding / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged legal wedding / selecting wedding celebrant / selecting wedding officiant / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant / weddings by

Finding your wedding officiant is one of the most significant decisions you will make about your wedding. Your ceremony is the element of your wedding day that legally marries you – what the day is all about. It is also the first “public” event of day, where your guests gather with you and your wedding party. Your ceremony sets the tone for the rest of your day, so you want to select an officiant who can create that celebratory first impression to get things started on a high note.

A recent article in Brides magazine includes not only information about officiant costs, but has a great set of questions you can ask a potential officiant. The article closes with some considerations to help guide you in making the right final decision. It’s definitely worth a read before you embark on the task of finding your wedding officiant.

Clarification on some terms may help you in choosing your officiant, too. Most broadly, an officiant is the person who will legally marry you. They may be religious, secular or civil, but if they have the legal standing to marry you, they are an officiant. Religious officiants include priests, ministers, rabbis, etc. Civil officiants, depending on your state laws, may carry Judge, Notary, or similar titles. Secular officiants often, but not always, use the title Celebrant. But beware though, the celebrant title does not have a consistent definition, so anyone can call themselves a celebrant. You’ll want to ask a few questions about any officiant’s education, training and experience before choosing to work with them.

It’s also important to understand how each potential officiant works with clients. You may want to ask questions including:

  • Do we get to see the ceremony script ahead of time?
  • Can we make/request changes to the ceremony script?
  • How do you personalize the ceremony for us?
  • Can we write our own vows? Select our own music?
  • How do we best communicate with each other – email, phone, text?

There aren’t right or wrong questions to the questions above. It is important, however, that you have a good understanding of and are comfortable with the answers the officiant provides.

So go ahead and begin your search for your officiant as soon as you have your wedding date and venue identified. Finding your wedding officiant can feel like a daunting task. You’ll find, however, that most officiants are approachable, kind, and are willing to guide your initial discussion if you prefer. They are the professionals after all, and have more experience than you do.

Initial Contact: Where to Begin With Your Celebrant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Weddings  tagged selecting wedding celebrant / wedding / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by

Initial contact with potential wedding celebrants can be challenging for you as a newly engaged couple. You’re searching for the person who will provide you with the ceremony you want for your wedding day. Once you’ve identified potential celebrants via referrals, internet searches or personal experience, it’s time to reach out for the first time.

It may be helpful to remember that celebrants are waiting to hear from you. They look forward to speaking with or engaging with couples looking for a celebrant. They are happy to walk you through the process.

So what do you say/write in an initial contact with a celebrant? It’s best to start by sharing your name, your wedding date and the name/location of your ceremony venue. With this information the celebrant will be able to tell you if they serve the area where your ceremony will be held, and if they are available for your date. If all those items check out, it’s time to move on to the next level of conversation.

At this point your goal is to determine if this celebrant matches your wishes for your ceremony. You’ll want to share anything you know you do or do not want in your ceremony. For example, perhaps you want to write your own vows, or have certain music you want to use. Or possibly you don’t want religion in your ceremony and don’t want to include a unity ritual. The celebrant’s reaction to all these wishes will help determine if they are a good match for you. It’s OK if you don’t have any particular wishes for your ceremony at this point. The celebrant may ask you a few questions during your initial contact that will help them determine if you’re likely a good match.

Before you book any celebrant, though, you’ll want to have an in person meeting where you can chat further. If you’re not geographically co-located, a Skype or Facetime meeting can be used, too. This follow-up meeting is important for two reasons. First, you’ll want to make sure that the celebrant is prepared to create and deliver the kind of ceremony you want for your wedding day. And second, you’ll want to ensure that you are comfortable with the celebrant. You’ll work closely with them and want to feel comfortable asking questions, making your wishes known, and expressing concerns should any arise.

You may feel apprehensive or uncertain when the time comes to reach out to potential celebrants. But you can rest assured that they want to make that initial contact as easy and positive as possible. You’ll generally find friendly, caring, and interested people on the other side of your initial contact. So pick up the phone or write an email to get the ball rolling. We’re waiting to hear from you.

Selecting Your Wedding Celebrant

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Officiant / Weddings  tagged selecting celebrant / selecting wedding celebrant / selecting wedding officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by

Selecting your wedding celebrant or officiant is just one of the many decisions you need to make as an engaged couple planning your wedding day. While most couples have ideas of what they want for their wedding reception and party, many draw a blank when thinking about what they want in their ceremony. Allow me to lay out some of the early questions to ask yourselves as you begin the search for your ideal wedding celebrant.

– A good place to start is by asking if you are looking for a religious or secular ceremony. There are specialists in both, and you want to be considering celebrants who can provide the kind of ceremony you want.

– Next, consider if you are looking for someone who will craft a ceremony in response to your wishes and based on you as a couple; someone who provides snippets of ceremonies for your consideration and asks you to basically create your own ceremony by assembling the pieces you want; or someone who can provide a brief, elopement style ceremony or handle the legalities of marriage in your state without any ceremony at all.

– Think about weddings you’ve attended or even seen in movies or on TV. Do you have any things you definitely do or do not want in your ceremony?

– And finally, how would you prefer to engage with the celebrant throughout the ceremony writing process? Do you want them to write the ceremony and deliver it as a surprise on your wedding day, or do you prefer to collaborate with them throughout the process?

Once you have answers to the questions posed above, you’re ready to start looking for your celebrant. The internet and recommendations from friends and relatives are great places to start. Or maybe you attended a wedding recently and liked what you heard from the celebrant. Try to find two or three potential celebrants or officiants to meet with.

Reach out to the potential celebrants with a phone call or email. Let them know when and where your ceremony is to take place and ask about their availability and willingness to speak with you further. I’m a fan of in person meetings whenever possible. Taking an hour or two to meet with prospective celebrants will give you a good idea of how comfortable you are speaking with and working with them.

Feel free to ask any questions you have (and it’s OK not to have questions, too). Let them know what you want and don’t want in your ceremony. When selecting your wedding celebrant realize that while they are the expert in this field, you hold the power to book their services or continue to look for a better match. Your celebrant should be willing and able to listen to you and hear what you are asking for in your ceremony, and have the skills, background, and experience to deliver the ceremony you want.

It’s a good idea to invest time and effort in selecting your wedding celebrant as you will work with them closely leading up to your wedding day. Your ceremony will also be the first event of your wedding day and can set the tone for the rest of the celebration. Now is the perfect time to be selecting your wedding celebrant for 2019 ceremonies as the most popular celebrants book early. Don’t hesitate to reach out and begin the process of finding and selecting your wedding celebrant.