secular ceremony

Secular Ceremonies: A Great Option

 in Ceremony / Music / Personalization / Readings / Rituals / Secular / Weddings  tagged non-religious wedding / personal ceremony / secular ceremonies / secular ceremony / secular wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony by

Secular ceremonies are growing in number across the United States. A third of people aged 18 – 34 do not identify with any religion, but want a meaningful, personal ceremony on their wedding day. If this defines you, secular or non-religious weddings are an option you’ll want to explore.

Because secular ceremonies are not bound by religious requirements they are more flexible and can include only the elements that are significant to you. Don’t want prayers and religious rituals? No problem. Want to include contemporary music and a poem that is meaningful to you? Again, no problem. Interested in having important people in your life help with a unity ritual like handfasting or a tree planting? Absolutely.

That kind of flexibility is possible with secular ceremonies because they are not pre-written ceremonies where only your names are slotted in as a token to personalization. Rather, working with your celebrant, you create the outline of your ceremony and collaborate to make it what you want it to be.

Handfasting, a unity ritual that can include family or friends

Options for music, readings and unity rituals are greater with secular ceremonies, and are limited only by your creativity. Beyond actual ceremony content you can also be creative with how you organize your processional and, recessional, and with your ceremony venue. I’ve had a groom escorted into the ceremony by his fellow adopted siblings, a bride escorted by her brother, sister-in-law and nieces, and a number of brides and grooms enter together. Recessional music is a great way to begin your post-ceremony celebration, and the theme from “Rocky” or “Everything is Awesome” from the Lego movie may fit you perfectly. Ceremonies have taken place in back yards, in caves and on beaches, in parks, museums, and theatres, and in historic barns and on beautiful golf courses, with each venue offering its own special appeal.

Garden wedding venue

If you aren’t tied to a religion and want your wedding ceremony to reflect on the love you’ve found together, honor the commitment you’re making to each other in marriage, and celebrate the bright future in front of you, then a secular ceremony is the perfect answer for you. I’ve been creating and performing secular ceremonies in southeastern Minnesota for nine years now, and can assure you that they are not only possible, but are well received by guests, are a great way to start your wedding day celebration, and will ensure great memories of your wedding for years to come.

Wedding Ceremonies: A Study in Contrasts

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged secular ceremony by

I recently had the opportunity to attend a relative’s religious wedding ceremony. It’s been quite a few years since I’ve been a guest at a church wedding, and the contrasts between the secular ceremonies I create for couples, and this recent wedding were stark.

The officiant’s first words were to inform us that we were there for Christ. I usually open by noting that we have gathered to reflect on the love the couple has found together, to honor the commitment they are making in marriage, and to celebrate the bright future in front of them.

The sermon told the story of a recent experience the officiant had, rather than focusing on the couple’s story. Boilerplate vows followed with no opportunity for the personalities or values of the couple to be shared.

Once the vows and rings were exchanged, it was a typical Sunday service, until the final blessing which did speak to the couple. More than 80% of the entire service ignored the couple completely, in favor of the standard weekly prayers and rituals. In contrast, each ceremony I create focuses on the couple with every element selected to reflect, honor and celebrate them. Readings, reflections, unity rituals, and of course, vows are selected by and for the couple.

Since I don’t practice a religion, it is hard for me to understand how the ceremony I experienced is particularly meaningful and special for the couple. I hope they found it to be so, as every couple deserves a memorable wedding ceremony. It is wonderful that couples have choices these days, so they can select an officiant who will help them have the ceremony of their dreams. I enjoyed celebrating with family, and I wish my relatives a long and happy marriage. I also appreciate the reminder of the importance of the work I do as I prepare to celebrate six unique marriage ceremonies in the next two weeks.