personalized wedding

Colorful Weddings

 in Personalization / Uncategorized / Wedding Party / Wedding traditions / Weddings  tagged colorful wedding / personalized wedding / wedding fashion / weddings by


Colorful weddings often refer to bright hues selected for bridesmaids’ dresses, table settings or possibly for flowers. But don’t leave the brides and grooms colorless. Yes, elegant neutrals for the women, and black or navy for the men will always have a place in wedding fashion. But how about a bride in black with a purple underskirt, or a groom in brightly colored argyle socks. I’ve seen both in recent weddings, and they are a great way to let your personality shine.

White wedding gowns have been popular since Queen Victoria chose one for her 1840 wedding to Prince Albert. On recent runways we’ve seen pastels in blue, pink and green plus some delicate floral options for wedding gowns.
But brides are making choices to reflect their personalities and passions. Such was the case with last years bride selecting a black dress with purple underskirt. It fit perfectly with her near gothic sensibilities and Metallica ceremony music.

A black and purple wedding dress for a colorful wedding

Just last week I was speaking with a couple planning a ceremony for later this year. The bride informed me that she would be wearing a black and red gown. Everyone in the wedding party will be dressed in those hues, making for a very bold and colorful wedding.

Let’s not leave the gentlemen out of the opportunity for colorful attire, though. I’m not suggesting the pale blue tuxes of the early ’80’s, but men can add a punch of color to their wedding finery. The argyle socks I mentioned above are an option, but the Green Bay Packer socks worn by the groom and all his groomsmen are another. There was no question who the groom rooted for, even here in Viking country. Ties and vests are other easy ways for men to add a punch of color. Within the last year I’ve seen bold plaid ties, soft floral ties and vests in a variety of colors.

Colorful weddings are a way to express yourselves, to share a passion or interest, or to bring just a bit of whimsy to a day that can feel very formal and sometimes stiff. If your personality is more lighthearted or you just want to dress in your favorite color, don’t feel constrained by tradition. Colorful weddings are becoming more common and are also more memorable. They make for great pictures, too. So feel free to express yourself with your fashion choices.

A Personalized Wedding Ceremony

 in Personalization / Personalized Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged personal ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

A personalized wedding ceremony can mean different things to different people. I had the opportunity last month to perform one of the most personalized ceremonies I’ve ever created. It’s also the first ceremony I’ve performed on an ice rink!

This wonderful couple had been friends for quite a few years, when he invited her to go ice skating one day. Not being a skater, she relied on him to support her on the ice and teach her basic skills. But something more important happened that first day – they began to move their relationship beyond friendship. Through the coming years they continued to skate together, and their romance blossomed, too. Then a year ago, on the anniversary of their first skating date, he proposed marriage to her on that very ice rink. And she said yes.

This wonderful couple wanted a personal, intimate wedding, but wanted it to reflect them and their story. They contacted me asking if I would marry them on that special anniversary date this year. They also wanted me to marry them on their ice rink where it all began. Sometimes couples who have such a unique and interesting vision for their wedding plan an extravaganza of a wedding day. Not so for this couple. In fact they wanted this to be a totally personal and private experience.

Since our state requires two witnesses for a legal marriage, they asked their photographer and my husband to be the witnesses. So, on a snowy Saturday evening in January the four of us gathered at the indoor ice rink for the ceremony. They provided a carpet for me to walk onto the ice to join them. I really appreciated that as it’s been literally decades since I strapped on a pair of skates. They skated toward me; the bride in a white satin dress and knit bolero to try to stay warm and the groom looking dapper in his jacket, hat and scarf.

In a personalized wedding ceremony written for them, I reminded them of their beginning on the ice. We reflected on skating as an apt metaphor for marriage. They spoke thoughtful vows and exchanged rings. I offered good wishes for their marriage and pronounced them married, upon which they circled the rink together a few times to celebrate their marriage.

While originally planned for just the couple, their photographer and required witness, this couple did invite their parents to observe the ceremony from the stands at the last minute. As this couple demonstrates, a personalized wedding ceremony makes the event more memorable, more special, and totally unique to them. Having the opportunity to create such a novel ceremony was a treat for me, and fun for all of us.

Defining Your Ceremony Vision

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Vows  tagged officiant / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by

Defining your ceremony vision can seem like a daunting task. This is likely the first time you’ve considered what you want in your wedding ceremony. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. A good celebrant will be genuinely interested in meeting you and discussing your ceremony wishes. Here are three ways you can prepare for that meeting and tackle the process of defining your ceremony vision.

  1. First, consider what you’ve seen in other weddings. Think about those moments when you thought, “That’s special. I would like to have something like that at my wedding.” Or, on the flip side, maybe you saw something that you knew you definitely did not want at your ceremony. Both are good to share with your celebrant.
  2. Next, talk about your vows with your fiance(e). Your exchange of vows will be the highlight of the ceremony as you make your promises to one another. But there are a number of ways to accomplish that. You can write your own vows if you want them to be totally personal and unique. If that doesn’t fit your style, your celebrant will likely be able to offer sample vows in the “repeat after me” style that you can choose from. Or perhaps you’re very shy or maybe English isn’t your first language and you prefer to respond to the celebrant with a simple, “I do”. Since vows are so important in a wedding ceremony, identifying the vow style you prefer is a key part of defining your ceremony vision.
  3. Finally, before meeting with your celebrant, discuss the length and tone you want for your ceremony. I often hear, “We want a short and sweet ceremony.” But what does that mean to you? Ten minutes, 20 or more? Knowing the time frame you want will help your celebrant guide you in terms of ceremony content and flow. And what about the ceremony tone? Do you want a romantic and more serious ceremony? Perhaps you prefer a lighthearted ceremony and think that some laughter is essential. Maybe involving family members is important to you, or conversely, maybe you want to keep the focus on the two of you and your path to this moment.

Defining your ceremony vision is as simple as following these three steps. Doing so will help ensure that your wedding ceremony reflects your priorities and your personalities, and is memorable and fitting for the two of you.

Ceremonies to Remember: Involving Others

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged blended family / memorable wedding / personalized wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Involving Others in novel ways in your ceremony shows your love and respect for them. This post is the third in the Ceremonies to Remember series where I reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. The previous posts focused on ceremonies I’ve done for family members and unique processionals.

Traditional ways of involving others in your ceremony include as bridesmaids and groomsmen, as ushers and flower girls. But some of the couples I married found unique ways to include those important to them. In one case the groom had a daughter who was about 10 years old. They wanted to include her in the ceremony to honor the new family they were becoming. A handfasting had been chosen as their unity ritual, and they chose to have his daughter actual wrap and tie the ribbon, signifying her support for their marriage. The cord was made extra long, so after the couple were connected, the daughter placed her hand on top of theirs. The cord was then wrapped and tied around the three hands, denoting the new family formed by the ceremony. It was a touching moment, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.

Family Handfasting

A second couple chose to honor their parents in a way that also honored their heritage. Early in the wedding ceremony the parents stepped forward to present gifts of bread, wine, salt and a coin to the couple. Each had significance from their European heritage which was shared with the guests. The ritual also made clear the love and support the bride and groom were receiving from their new in-laws as they were welcomed to the family.

Parents gifts

The final example of involving others in a ceremony in a special way honored the bride’s Indian heritage. After the exchange of vows and rings in the western tradition, her grandfather presided over the Seven Steps ritual. This ritual marks the commitment the couple makes to each other as they take their first steps as a married couple. To make this moment even more special, he had performed the same ritual with his daughter (the bride’s mother) when she married nearly 30 years ago.

These three examples show how some thought, creativity and sensitivity when involving others in your wedding ceremony ensure that it will be significant and memorable for everyone. When you choose to have a ceremony written just for you there are nearly endless ways of involving others who are important to you.

Ceremonies to Remember: Family

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Personalization / Readings / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged celebrant / personal ceremony / personalized vows / personalized wedding by

Ceremonies to Remember is a series of blog posts to run from now to the end of 2020. In each post I’ll reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. This week the ceremonies to remember are ones I’ve been privileged to offer for family members.

The first family wedding ceremony I wrote and offered was for my son and daughter-in-law, back in 2013. It was interesting to step back and interact with them as I do with all client couples. I learned so much about each of them, and about their relationship through the process. They were one of the first couples I worked with who chose the Love Letters and Wine Box ceremony as their unity ritual, and it fit them perfectly. They wrote couple’s vows which were offered as a dialogue during the ceremony, and selected an ee cummings reading that was a favorite. One of the most unique elements of their wedding was the setting they chose – our local civic theatre – which was also the site of their first date. The ceremony was a special moment in their wonderful day, and my daughter-in-law still says they “win at weddings”. I hope all couples feel that way about their wedding day!

Love Letters and Wine Box Unity Ritual

The second family wedding I was asked to officiate was for my niece and her nephew-in-law. They chose a December date, and were fortunate to have a clear, if cold, day in Wisconsin that allowed all their invited guests to attend. Surrounded by family and friends, they included their families in the ceremony in multiple ways. Both sisters stood with them as bridesmaids. His father offered the reading. The mothers and sisters performed the handfasting unity ritual, sharing wishes for the couple’s marriage. As with my son’s wedding, the role of officiant provided the opportunity to learn more about my future nephew-in-law, and to see them interact as a couple.

Family Handfasting. Photo credit: Van Dreel Photography.

These family weddings were indeed ceremonies to remember. I was honored to be asked by both couples to serve as their celebrant. To legally join them in marriage and to create personal ceremonies that reflect their unique relationships was memorable. Those ceremonies stand out as highlights of my career as a Humanist Celebrant to date, and I’ll share more special moments in my coming blogs.