personalized wedding

Celebrate Your Uniqueness

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Personalized Ceremony / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Wedding Ceremony  tagged custom rituals / personalized wedding / unity rituals / wedding ceremony / weddings by


Your wedding ceremony is a great opportunity to celebrate your uniqueness. Weddings can be full of traditions that are fun to include in your day, but make sure you include all that makes you special as a couple.

Weddings have been changing for awhile now, which offers you the chance to make the day a personal reflection of yourselves and your relationship. Traditions like bouquet and garter toss at the reception and “giving away” the bride at the ceremony can be left out if you prefer. And new rituals and ceremony approaches that better reflect you can be added.

I strive to make each ceremony I craft for a couple unique to them. Sharing their story is part of the beginning of the ceremony. My goal is for all the guests to learn something new about the couple. If they are interested, I encourage couples to write their own vows. It is another way to let their personalities shine.

Unity Ritual - Sazerac creation
Unity Ritual – Sazerac creation

Unity rituals are an obvious opportunity to celebrate your uniqueness. A trip to New Orleans was a significant event for a couple I married recently. For their unity ritual we had them build a Sazerac cocktail – the official cocktail of New Orleans. I used the characteristics of the ingredients – sweet, bitter, strong, and unique to craft a metaphor for marriage. This is the first Sazerac ritual I’ve written in the more than 500 ceremonies I’ve officiated. It was perfect for them. While there are many lovely “generic” unity rituals available, many can also be customized to
celebrate your uniqueness with a little effort.

An experienced, educated celebrant can work with you to write a wedding ceremony that reflects and celebrates you and the love you share. Start your wedding day with a ceremony that will celebrate your uniqueness as you voice your commitment to each other in marriage.

Too Much of a Good Thing

 in Rituals / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony customization / custom ritual / customization / owl ring bearer / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony by


Too much of a good thing is possible in wedding ceremonies, too. I often encourage couples to personalize their wedding ceremonies with rituals and special moments that reflect them. But you can cross a line here. Using an interest or experience to create a memorable moment is a great idea, but do step back and consider the bigger picture.

Back in 2018 a couple in the UK decided to have an owl act as their ring bearer. I’m not sure if they had a particular interest in the animals, or were just looking for a “wow” moment. But they got more than expected. When the time came for the bird to deliver the rings, it decided it didn’t like the look of one of the best men in the wedding party, and it attacked. You can see pictures and read the whole story here: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/27/owls-of-laughter-as-winged-ring-bearer-attacks-best-man The story recalls the enjoyment and laughter of the bride and groom. I expect that the attacked best man may have a different story to tell.

There are falconry businesses available in the US that will provide similar services – for a hefty price. If you have an interest in falconry or are planning a medieval themed wedding, this might be something you want to consider.

There are a number of ways this choice may be too much of a good thing. Here are just a few of them:

  • The cost is very high for this brief experience. Listed prices are around $1000 plus travel expenses.
  • If you are planning an indoor experience, or if weather forces you indoors, you’ll need to ensure your venue will permit the birds to fly.
  • These are wild animals, and as such are unpredictable. Consider how guests may react to a rogue or attacking bird.
  • Animal cruelty concerns must be vetted. Perhaps some handlers can assure you that their animals are not being harmed, but some of your guests may feel differently.

I am a fan of customizing your wedding ceremony and including unique rituals. Personally, I think owls/birds of prey as ring bearers is too much of a good thing. But you’ll have to make the decision for yourselves.

Unconventional Wedding Choices

 in Personalization / Wedding traditions / Weddings  tagged personalized wedding / unconventional wedding choices / wedding attire / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Unconventional wedding choices are yet another way to make your wedding day uniquely yours. If you are a bit unconventional as a couple, and traditional weddings just aren’t for you, I encourage you to make choices that feel authentic for you.

I recently had two Halloween weddings where couples used the holiday to express themselves in different, but meaningful (to them) ways. One couple dressed all in black, taking a more gothic approach to the day. And the other couple dressed in costume, bringing some whimsy to what can be a more serious, though celebratory day. In each case the couples were being true to themselves as they marked a milestone moment in their lives.

Costumed Halloween Wedding
Unconventional wedding choices

I’ve also had couples express their individuality in a different way. One couple chose dressy, but nontraditional, colorful attire for their ceremony, while another couple opted for dark colors and their favorite heavy metal music to accompany their wedding.

Colorful wedding attire
Colorful wedding attire
Unconventional wedding choices
Unconventional wedding choices

Some couples enjoy the more typical wedding traditions, and that’s great, too. White dresses, traditional ceremonies and rituals all have their place. They can be the exactly what some couples want. But unconventional wedding choices have their place, too. Feel free to modify or discard wedding traditions if they don’t fit you. Embrace choices to make the day truly reflect who you are and the marriage you are beginning.

The Middle of the Road Ceremony

 in Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged elopement style wedding / personalized ceremony / personalized wedding / Vow exchange / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

The middle of the road ceremony that I call a Vow Exchange Ceremony might be the perfect solution for you. Perfect if you’re planning an intimate gathering of up to 20 people and want a short and sweet ceremony to join you in marriage. A Vow Exchange can be personalized by writing your own vows or selecting from some options I provide. It can include a ring exchange if you wish.

I offer three distinct kinds of ceremonies to meet everyone’s needs. Most ceremonies I create with clients are full, custom ceremonies. I work with couples over at least 5 months (and often much longer) to create a fully personalized ceremony. But sometimes that’s more than what you want or need. At the other end of the spectrum is a Certificate Signing Ceremony which is the minimum required for legal marriage in Minnesota. The Vow Exchange is the middle of the road ceremony. Perhaps you don’t like being the center of attention. Maybe this is a second or subsequent marriage for you and you don’t want a typical wedding extravaganza experience. It may be that you want to be married relatively quickly. Or perhaps an elopement style ceremony just fits you best at this moment in your lives.

Whatever the reason, I’ve seen increased requests for a Vow Exchange ceremony, and I’m happy to offer it. Lasting only about 5 – 7 minutes, it honors the commitment you are making to each other marriage, and includes all the essential aspects of a wedding ceremony. These ceremonies can take place in your home, outside in a park (weather permitting), or in a private room in a restaurant.

Some couples dress formally for a Vow Exchange. My most recent couple donned a tuxedo and white formal dress for theirs. But others opt for a more casual vibe, and it all works. Guests usually are limited to family or very close friends – again, a gathering of up to approximately 20 people. Most often there is no musical accompaniment, no processional and no wedding party. We simply gather your guests around so everyone can hear, and begin the ceremony.

All that said, a Vow Exchange Ceremony is still a significant and often emotional experience. Just because you don’t spend a year or more and tens of thousands of dollars planning your ceremony doesn’t make the moment any less a milestone moment in your life. Smiles and happy tears often abound as the couple makes their promises to each other. The world stops for a few moments as a commitment intended for a lifetime is shared.

Please reach out to me if you’re planning a wedding ceremony of any kind in the coming months, and I’ll be happy to discuss options with you. Perhaps you’ll find that the Vow Exchange, the middle of the road ceremony option, is the perfect fit for you.

Rejecting Ceremony Traditions

 in Ceremony / Personalized Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding traditions  tagged personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding traditions / weddings by

Rejecting ceremony traditions when designing your wedding is sometimes a good thing to consider. Traditions can be wonderful and memorable, but can also be outdated or downright offensive. Selectively choosing the ceremony traditions that are meaningful to you allows the ceremony to be truly representative of you as a couple.

There are four ceremony traditions in particular that you will want to consider either jettisoning or significantly reworking.

  1. Giving away the bride. This tradition dates from the time when women were considered chattel to be passed from father to husband. If you choose to leave it out of your ceremony no one will miss it. If it’s important for some reason to include some version of it, consider having the celebrant ask, “Who supports this couple in their choice to marry?” All parents can stand and respond, “We all do.”
  2. Including, “love, honor and obey” in the vows. This can be easily modified to replace “obey” with “cherish”. Or select or write personal vows unique to the two of you.
  3. Including prayers or readings from holy books. If you’re planning a secular or non-religious ceremony but want to include a reading there are many lovely passages in literature and popular culture on love, marriage, friendship, and commitment that can be used.
  4. Having your celebrant offer a sermon or homily. Rejecting this traditional part of the wedding ceremony leaves space for sharing parts of your story as a couple, celebrating the love that has brought you to this moment.

Rejecting ceremony traditions makes sense if you find the tradition offensive in some way, or you just don’t want to spend time on it. Removing or modifying traditions does not take away from the ceremony experience. In fact, it can make the ceremony more personal and more interesting. Keep the focus on you as a couple, your values, your love and your commitment to each other in marriage.