personal ceremony

A Personalized Wedding Ceremony

 in Personalization / Personalized Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged personal ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

A personalized wedding ceremony can mean different things to different people. I had the opportunity last month to perform one of the most personalized ceremonies I’ve ever created. It’s also the first ceremony I’ve performed on an ice rink!

This wonderful couple had been friends for quite a few years, when he invited her to go ice skating one day. Not being a skater, she relied on him to support her on the ice and teach her basic skills. But something more important happened that first day – they began to move their relationship beyond friendship. Through the coming years they continued to skate together, and their romance blossomed, too. Then a year ago, on the anniversary of their first skating date, he proposed marriage to her on that very ice rink. And she said yes.

This wonderful couple wanted a personal, intimate wedding, but wanted it to reflect them and their story. They contacted me asking if I would marry them on that special anniversary date this year. They also wanted me to marry them on their ice rink where it all began. Sometimes couples who have such a unique and interesting vision for their wedding plan an extravaganza of a wedding day. Not so for this couple. In fact they wanted this to be a totally personal and private experience.

Since our state requires two witnesses for a legal marriage, they asked their photographer and my husband to be the witnesses. So, on a snowy Saturday evening in January the four of us gathered at the indoor ice rink for the ceremony. They provided a carpet for me to walk onto the ice to join them. I really appreciated that as it’s been literally decades since I strapped on a pair of skates. They skated toward me; the bride in a white satin dress and knit bolero to try to stay warm and the groom looking dapper in his jacket, hat and scarf.

In a personalized wedding ceremony written for them, I reminded them of their beginning on the ice. We reflected on skating as an apt metaphor for marriage. They spoke thoughtful vows and exchanged rings. I offered good wishes for their marriage and pronounced them married, upon which they circled the rink together a few times to celebrate their marriage.

While originally planned for just the couple, their photographer and required witness, this couple did invite their parents to observe the ceremony from the stands at the last minute. As this couple demonstrates, a personalized wedding ceremony makes the event more memorable, more special, and totally unique to them. Having the opportunity to create such a novel ceremony was a treat for me, and fun for all of us.

Defining Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony  tagged ceremony / ceremony definition / personal ceremony / wedding ceremony by

Defining your wedding ceremony is an opportunity to personalize your wedding day. Minnesota marriage requirements are minimal – basically you have to say you want to be married to each other – so there’s lots of opportunity to make the ceremony your own. An experienced celebrant can help guide you through the process, but your wishes should be paramount.

A good way to begin the process of defining your wedding ceremony is to consider what you’ve seen at other weddings you’ve attended. Were there certain moments you found particularly touching or meaningful? Alternately, were there moments you felt you’d seen at every other wedding or didn’t care for? Share these thoughts with your celebrant as a great starting point for defining your own ceremony.

Next, think about what ceremony elements are important to you. Perhaps you have a poem, reading or song that is significant to you as a couple. Those are perfect elements to include in your ceremony. Maybe you definitely want (or don’t want) to write your own vows. Make sure that your officiant knows about this and is on board.

Writing your own vows is a great way to personalize your wedding ceremony

Another consideration should be any people you want to have a role in your ceremony. Beyond being a bridesmaid or groomsman there are a number of possibilities here. Maybe you want to ask them to be greeters to welcome your guests, or perhaps you want them to offer a reading during the ceremony. If you have family or friends who have artistic talent, perhaps you can ask them to create the backdrop for your ceremony.

And finally, you’ll want to decide if you want your ceremony personalized by including anecdotes or stories from your time together. This is the best way to put your personal stamp on your ceremony, but it’s OK to leave it out if you’re shy, very private or want a very short ceremony. Just realize that in making that choice you’re losing the element of the ceremony that is uniquely yours.

Defining your wedding ceremony involves some thought and decision making, but will result in a ceremony that fits you, that reflects your priorities, and that will be meaningful and memorable. A perfect way to begin your wedding celebration.

Choose Your Own Wedding Ceremony Style

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged certificate signing / Full custom ceremony / personal ceremony / Vow exchange / wedding ceremony by

Choose your own wedding ceremony style to ensure that your big day reflects you as a couple. The ceremony starts the wedding day celebration and should be all you want it to be, and only what you want it to be. As our area continues to recover from the COVID-19 pandemic all kinds of wedding ceremonies are once again available, allowing you to choose the style that fits you best.

Full Custom ceremonies are coming back in large numbers. Now that you can gather again with family and friends many couples are busy planning ceremonies that share their story and include readings, unity rituals and all the extras. I’m working hard to accommodate couples who want big ceremonies but are working on tight schedules. Remember to select your officiant at least six months in advance if you want this kind of personalized ceremony.

When you choose your own wedding ceremony style the term “short and sweet” may come to mind. It’s helpful to define this a little more when speaking with potential celebrants. Do you want a personalized ceremony, or prefer not to share a lot of your story? If you’re looking for a 5-10 minute ceremony without a lot of personalization, a Vow Exchange or elopement style ceremony may be the perfect fit. This style allows you to write your own vows or select from a few vow options in the repeat-after-me format. There’s space for a ring exchange if you want one, and even for a reading. This style can be perfect for a shy or more private couple who don’t enjoy being the center of attention. A Vow Exchange also works well for a more casual celebration or for second or subsequent marriages.

The final ceremony style I offer is the Certificate Signing. I sometimes refer to this as a “no ceremony” option because it focuses on meeting the legal requirements for marriage in Minnesota and not much more. You respond to a simple question regarding your intention to join in marriage, I extend good wishes for your marriage, make a pronouncement and invite you to kiss. Legal paperwork is signed and the entire process takes no more than 3 minutes.

I performed many Certificate Signings during the pandemic because that’s all we could do. But now you can choose your own wedding ceremony style again. So if you’re having a big celebration and want a personal ceremony experience, ask for the Full Custom ceremony. A Vow Exchange is perfect for smaller, informal gatherings or when you’re not interested in sharing your personal story. And a Certificate Signing will always be the choice for couples who, “just want to make it legal.” Every couple is unique and has their own style, so just pick the ceremony style that fits you best.

Create Meaningful Ceremony – Memorials

 in Ceremony / Memorial services / Personalization  tagged meaningful ceremony / memorial service / personal ceremony by

Create meaningful ceremony to celebrate the important moments in life. In previous weeks I’ve written about creating personal weddings and welcoming a new child to your family. Now it’s time to discuss how to honor a loved one with a poignant memorial service.

Holding a memorial service serves four purposes:

  1. To honor and celebrate the life of the person who has died.
  2. To make space for everyone to say a private good-bye.
  3. To offer and receive support as a community of people who knew the honoree.
  4. To set your feet on a path of grieving leading to healing.
Memorial urn for a Dutch woman – surrounded by tulips

Here are some elements to consider as you work to create meaningful ceremony for a memorial service.

  • Use music to open and close the ceremony. Select pieces that connect to the honoree. Perhaps they were a country music fan, or loved patriotic marches. Classical music can always be used, too, and can be soothing.
  • Bring the honoree into the ceremony through mementos and their life story. Including a favorite team’s jersey or a quilt they made is a great visual. And make sure to share their life story through a biographical sketch.
  • Make space for shared stories. You might opt for “open mic” where guests can spontaneously share some of their interactions. Alternately, you can invite two or three people to share a slightly longer eulogy where they share highlights of the honorees life. For example, a professional colleague may speak about their work life, and an adult grandchild may share stories of time with grandma or grandpa.
  • Since guests may be of varying religious inclinations, it’s respectful to offer a time for silent reflection or prayer. You can use music or perhaps a video picture montage to accompany this time.
  • Finally, you want to draw people together and give them hope for brighter days ahead when their sorrow is not as profound as it is right now.

When you create meaningful ceremony by weaving these elements together you’ll both celebrate and honor the person who has passed. You’ll also support the family and friends in a memorable and appreciated manner.

Next time I’ll be talking about how to create meaningful ceremony around other milestone moments in life. Make sure to check it out in two weeks.

Create Meaningful Ceremony – Weddings

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / love story / meaningful ceremony / personal ceremony / personal wedding / personalized vows / wedding guests by

Create meaningful ceremony to celebrate the important moments in your life. Share your love with a personal wedding. Welcome a new child to your family with a sweet naming ceremony. Honor a loved one with a poignant memorial service. Mark a new phase of life with an inspirational celebration. This week’s focus is on how to create a personal, custom wedding ceremony.

Your wedding ceremony needs to reflect you as a couple. Here are five ways to ensure that the ceremony is authentic for you and honors the commitment you are making to each other in marriage.

  1. Before the first word of the ceremony is spoken, set the tone with music. Use your favorite genre or select lyrics that speak to you.
  2. Bring your guests into your ceremony by acknowledging the role they’ve had in your lives to date, and asking for their support for your marriage going forward.
  3. Tell your story. Or more accurately, have your officiant retell vignettes that share how your love story evolved.
  4. Write your own vows. The centerpiece of the ceremony, this is your opportunity to make promises to your love that are meant to last a lifetime.
  5. Choose your wedding party intentionally. Select those people who support you and your relationship. Pay less attention to traditional gender roles and matching numbers, and surround yourselves with love.
Personal Wedding Ceremony with modern wedding party

When you create meaningful ceremony to begin your wedding day celebration you express your love in memorable ways. You also engage your guests to celebrate with you and prepare everyone to move on to the next parts of your important day.

Next time I’ll be talking about how to create meaningful ceremony when you’re welcoming new members to the family. Make sure to check it out in two weeks.