personal ceremonies

Making Your Ceremony Reflect You

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Personalization / Readings / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged ceremony readings / personal ceremonies / personal ceremony / personalized vows / personalized wedding / readings / wedding officiant / wedding processional / wedding readings by

Making your ceremony reflect you kicks off your wedding day with a sparkle. Think about your personalities as individuals and who you are as a couple, and bring those qualities into your ceremony.

Begin at the beginning of your ceremony. Think about how you want to enter the space and with whom. We’ve all seen the “dance up the aisle” entrances by wedding parties, and if that’s you, that’s great. But maybe you’re like one of my brides whose parents had died. She opted to enter with her brother and sister-in-law and two nieces. They were her closest family and that felt right to her. Maybe you’ll choose to enter as a couple, because you’ve been together for a number of years and have established your life together, and that feels most authentic to you.

When it comes to the ceremony itself, think about ways to let your story shine. Share some of your experiences with your celebrant so they can be woven into the ceremony. These can be romantic proposals, funny home renovation stories, or amazing travel moments – whatever reflects who you are and the path you’ve walked to your wedding day. Picking a reading that really reflects how you feel about love, or marriage, or building your future together is another great way to bring your thoughts into the ceremony.

Don’t forget your vows – your best opportunity for making your ceremony reflect you. Either by writing your own vows or picking ones that speak to the promises you want to make to each other, you are sharing the core of the reason you’ve gathered for the day. If you are a couple that thrives on laughing together, bringing a bit of humor into your vows is fine. If you want to keep this moment more serious or romantic, that’s great, too.

Making your ceremony reflect you begins with hiring a celebrant who specializes in doing just that. If you don’t want a cookie cutter ceremony or one created by cutting and pasting from information on the internet, take the time to research officiants and celebrants in your area and hire a professional that will help you bring your ceremony to life.

Wedding Website Warning

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged personal ceremonies / wedding website by

I’d like to issue a gentle wedding website warning to couples who are planning a personalized, custom wedding. Now don’t get me wrong, I think wedding websites can be great as communication vehicles, but they can get in the way if your ceremony is going to include the same kinds of information you’re putting up on your website.

A wedding website can be a convenient, accessible and environmentally friendly way to make sure your guests know about blocks of hotel rooms and special rates you’ve arranged for them, or to provide directions to wedding day venues. They are great places to share information about registries you’re listed on, and even to provide brief bio information on your wedding party. I’ve also seen RSVPs managed from wedding websites, saving on printing costs, paper use and postage. All these are great uses for your wedding website.

If, however, you’re working with your celebrant to have a personal ceremony, you’ll want to be careful about the information you share about yourselves as a couple on your wedding website. If your guests have made the effort to read about how you met, how your relationship grew, and even how the proposal happened, you don’t want to bore them by repeating that information at your ceremony. I encourage couples I work with to be thoughtful about what they put on their wedding website and to make sure they share different anecdotes and thoughts about their relationship with me.

By sharing different information on your wedding website and during your personalized wedding ceremony, you ensure that your guests learn more about you as a couple, and are able to see and celebrate more aspects of your love and relationship. Many wedding websites are free and easy to set up, so go ahead and share all kinds of useful information for your guests on yours. Just remember my wedding website warning so your wedding ceremony isn’t simply a restatement of what they’ve already read online.

Are Wedding Readings Required?

 in Ceremony / Readings / Weddings  tagged personal ceremonies / wedding readings / weddings by

“Are wedding readings required?” is a question I often get when meeting with couples to plan their wedding ceremony. The simple answer is no. Readings from holy books are often required in religious ceremonies, but the secular ceremonies I create for couples are bound only by state marriage law, and that says nothing about readings. So as an engaged couple, you are able to decide if a reading (or two) is something you want to include in include in your ceremony… or not.

Many couples have a song that they associate with their relationship, but many fewer have a poem or piece of prose that they are emotionally connected to. If you have such a text, this is the perfect reading to include in your ceremony. Or maybe you’re a poetry or literature lover and know the selection you’ve dreamed of having as part of your wedding day. Perfect. Go for it. But honestly, it is the rare couple I encounter who fits this description. Many think they have to have a reading, but have no idea what it should be.

If you fall into this category, don’t worry, your celebrant can provide options and choices for wedding readings and you can look at option online, too. A good reading will connect to your story and the rest of the ceremony, becoming an integral part of the ceremony experience, not a random piece bolted on to fulfill a requirement. I’m writing for a couple right now who have endured many separations over the course of their relationship. They are considering a reading called “I Will Be There” by Stephen Curtis Chapman which repeats the line, “I will be there” throughout the reading. For them, it honors the way they have been there for each other in the past, while also being an integral part of the promise they are making to each other in marriage – to always be there for each other. The bonus is that they found and selected the reading on their own.

If you don’t find a reading that really “speaks” to you, it is perfectly acceptable to not have a reading in your ceremony. Another reason to leave a reading out is if you are trying to manage the length of your ceremony and the other parts – your story, vows, rings, unity ritual, etc – are more important to you. One of the great benefits of choosing a secular wedding ceremony is that there are very few requirements you must comply with. So now you know that wedding readings are not required, but, if well chosen, can highlight a characteristic of you as a couple, or share your view of love and marriage in a way that enhances your overall ceremony. The choice is yours.