officiant

Finding Your Ideal Officiant

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Weddings  tagged ceremony / officiant / wedding by

Finding your ideal officiant is different than finding an officiant. Last week I wrote about how to begin your search for a wedding officiant – the person who will make your marriage legal, and who will preside at your wedding ceremony. But you don’t want just anyone serving in this important role. Your wedding ceremony is a personal, intimate experience that takes place in front of all the people you’ve invited to share your wedding day. That’s a tricky balance to strike. You want your ceremony to be memorable, special, unique and authentic for you as a couple. So how do you find your ideal officiant; the person that can deliver that?

When speaking with potential wedding officiants, I encourage you to evaluate them against these five criteria:
1. Does s/he share my vision for the ceremony? This encompasses things including the amount of humor you want, the ways you want to involve your guests, your approach/wishes regarding your vows, and the level of religiosity you want.

2. Is s/he open to my requests and priorities? This is similar to number 1, but more specific. If you indicate a preference for something, does the officiant listen to what you’re saying and incorporate your ideas in the outline and ceremony plans?

3. Do I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with the officiant? You want to be able to say “no” to ideas that don’t fit you or that you don’t want to spend time on during your ceremony. At its best, your wedding ceremony reflects you as a couple, so you need to be able to share your experiences and personalities with the officiant. If you’re not comfortable doing that, s/he’s probably not the right person for you to work with.

4. Does s/he offer ideas or suggestions I didn’t know about? Can this person help take the ceremony beyond what you had considered? Even if you decline the suggestions they offer, knowing that you’ve considered many options will make you more confident that you will get the ceremony you want for your wedding day

5. Do I have reason to believe that this person can deliver on their promises in a quality way? Basically this gets to the officiant’s education, experience, referrals, references or testimonials. A new officiant my be highly motivated to do a good job for you, but having seen their work personally or getting a referral from a family member or friend whose opinion you value can really increase your confidence in an officiant.

Every reputable officiant will offer the the opportunity to talk with them before hiring them. This can take the form of an in person meeting, a phone call or a Skype or Face Time discussion, but you deserve to get to know them a bit, ask all the questions you have, and be able to assess them against the five criteria, above. When you find someone who meets all those criteria, you’ve found a person you can hire with confidence. You’ve found your ideal officiant!

Come Visit Me at Unveiled

 in Weddings  tagged officiant / unveiled / wedding show by

Come visit me at the Unveiled wedding show at Mayo Civic Center this Sunday, October 22nd. The Wedding Guys from Minneapolis/St Paul are bringing the show here to highlight local vendors across the wedding industry. This is a great opportunity to meet vendors in person, and gather ideas on trends and options for all aspects of your wedding experience.

Some of the premier folks will be there: photographers, florists, reception venues, fashion providers, honeymoon/travel agents, caterers… and me. If you’re planning a 2018 or 2019 wedding this show is a convenient way to explore many options in one place and at one time. Even if you’ve booked some of your services already, this is a great place to check out the latest ideas, and to just get excited about your upcoming day.

Check out the show and order your tickets with the link below, and use the special offer to get a free ticket:
https://theweddingguys.com/shows/unveiled-rochester/
Buy One Ticket, Get One Free

This is the only wedding show I’ll be attending this season, so I would love to chat with you about your ceremony needs. I’ll have my calendar with me, and will be happy to schedule private consultation appointments with couples for the coming weeks. Stop by to say hi, and let’s talk ceremony.

Finding Your Wedding Officiant – Part 1

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony / officiant / wedding by

Your wedding day is probably one of the most complex social events you’ll ever need to plan, and being in love and getting engaged doesn’t automatically provide the skills or contacts you need to do it well. One of the people you’ll need to hire is the person who will legally marry you – generically known as your officiant. If you’re not associated with a religious community that provides this person, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to have seen a good officiant in action at a friend or relative’s wedding, or maybe you’ll get a referral from a colleague or neighbor. But if those personal recommendations don’t happen, like most couples, you’ll turn to the internet and use Google or similar services to find local officiants.

Once you’ve located a few officiants that look promising, you’ll need to initiate contact. So what’s the best way to do that, and how do you open the conversation? E-mail or a phone call, depending on your personal preference and schedule, works best for initial contact. Personally, I like e-mail – you can send your query when it is convenient for you, and pick up the response in the same manner. You can having a longer, more informative exchange than texting allows. It may also be more comfortable for you to compose your query as a note, rather than conversing on the phone with a stranger. However, if you’re working on a tight schedule, phone contact can be the quickest way to find your officiant.

So what do you ask in your initial phone call or e-mail? The first thing to determine is if the person is still offering wedding officiant services. Some websites are out of date, or the officiant from your cousin’s wedding 3 years ago may not be in business anymore. Next, ask if s/he is available on your wedding date. You’ll want to share your ceremony location and time as well, as some officiants are willing to schedule more than one ceremony per day, if the timing and locations allow.

Once you’ve determined the officiant’s availability, you’ll want to begin to evaluate if this person’s services match your needs. I suggest covering some basics in this area before meeting with the officiant, so you can save everyone’s time if you don’t match in this area. You’ll want to share, at a high level, what you’re looking for in your ceremony. For example, in your first e-mail after providing ceremony date, time and location information, you might write, “We are looking for a non-religious ceremony of about 30 minutes. We would like to write our own vows and have a reading and unity ritual included in the ceremony.” If the officiant is comfortable providing a ceremony that matches this description, scheduling time for a more indepth discussion is a good next step.

Next time I’ll talk about questions to ask the officiant at that initial meeting.