ceremony start time

Starting Your Ceremony on Time: Why and How

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Starting your ceremony on time may seem like an impossible task, but with a little planning and assistance it can and should be done. Your wedding ceremony is usually the first event of your wedding day that everyone participates in – you as a couple, your wedding party and the family and friends you’ve invited to share your special day. That means there are many activities yet to come – social hour, toasts, dinner, cake cutting, the first dance, and more. If you begin your ceremony late it will throw the entire day off schedule which can result in uncomfortable guests, cold or overcooked food, and stress for you as you try to make up time.

So that’s the “why” behind the goal of starting your ceremony on time. Now, with so many moving parts, how do you achieve your goal? Following the suggestions below will help:

  1. Plan, plan, plan. Make sure you know how many hair and make-up stylists will be working with your wedding party. Ask your photographer how much time to allow for family pictures, wedding party pictures, first look pictures, etc. Ask your musicians and officiant how far they will arrive in advance of the ceremony time in order to be ready on time.
  2. Now take all the information you’ve gathered and make a schedule for your day – all the activities from when you wake up in the morning to the start of the processional. (Note: you might want your schedule to go through the evening, too, to keep things moving along.) Then add buffer to most or all of the tasks. For example, if you’re planning to spend 2 hours with your attendants getting hair and make-up done, plan for at least 2 1/2. If photographs are scheduled to end at 3pm, plan for them to end at 3:15 or even 3:30pm. If everything runs to the original plan, you’ve built yourself time to catch your breath, have a drink of water, or spend a few special minutes together and alone before the ceremony begins. These are all good things.
  3. Ask for assistance from family, friends and your wedding party to keep things moving. Impress on your attendants the need to stick to the schedule. If one of your attendants is known for being late, partner him with another attendant who can keep him on schedule. If you aren’t having ushers, ask a couple of friends or family members to act as ceremony hosts. They can direct guests to restrooms and the ceremony space, and most importantly, they can help encourage guests to take their seats starting 10 – 15 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Your officiant should take care of gathering the wedding party and organizing them for the processional, and interface with your musicians so everything is ready to begin on time.

I love to begin ceremonies at the scheduled time, but remain flexible so the guest who arrives as we’re getting ready to walk has a moment to find a seat, or the flower girl who decides she needs a last restroom stop is accommodated. But starting your ceremony on time is a priority for me, and we are usually underway within a couple of minutes of the scheduled time. Starting your ceremony on time is respectful of your guests who may be sitting in the hot sun, or chilly wind. It is respectful to the vendors you’ve hired for the day. It is also a stress reliever for you as the day can unfold gracefully and without constant pressure to catch up. Make it a priority, and starting your ceremony on time CAN happen.

Ceremony Start Time on Invitations

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What ceremony start time should be noted on your wedding invitations? This is a question many couples struggle with as they plan their wedding day. Today’s day to day social scene is very relaxed. Gatherings are posted on social media and people come if they can and are interested. In contrast, a wedding day is a much more formal social event, but not everyone knows how to handle that.

Wedding etiquette says that guests should arrive approximately 15 – 20 minutes before the ceremony start time. This gives them time to park, find the ceremony site, make a quick restroom stop if needed, and be seated well before the wedding party is ready to enter the space. It has long been considered a serious faux pas to “race the bride down the aisle.” But it happens all to frequently these days. The worst offense I’ve seen is the late arriving guest who stepped between two bridesmaids as they made their way down the aisle, only to step around and in front of a number of guests already seated to reach an empty chair.

Because couples are aware that their guests may not arrive appropriately early for their wedding ceremony, they are left struggling to decide if they should “pad” the ceremony start time on their invitations. For example, they consider listing a 4:00pm ceremony time when they are really planning to begin at 4:30pm. While this may help solve the problem of late arriving guests, it creates other problems.

Some ceremony venues run very tight schedules, and your guests may not be allowed to enter until 15 minutes before the ceremony begins. This can leave your guests literally out on the sidewalk in the sun, rain, or other inclement weather. Even if they can access the ceremony space, if they arrive appropriately early based on the time your invitation indicates, their wait will be even longer. It is simply rude to leave polite guests waiting 45 minutes for a ceremony to start.

I suggest that you list your real ceremony start time on your invitations, and then enlist the aid of your families and friends to help spread the word that the ceremony will start promptly at the appointed time, and to please plan accordingly. I’ve also heard of couples who use their wedding websites to communicate this, and others who include a small note with their invitations if they know certain people habitually run late.

Weddings are formal social events, and while we don’t have many of those these days, it’s good form to understand the etiquette involved, and to enjoy the special experience.

Tick, Tick, Tick: Why and How to Start Your Ceremony On Time

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There are many reasons you want to ensure that you start your ceremony on time:
First: You have many other wedding day activities yet to come, and starting your ceremony late will throw them all off. You really don’t want warm salads and cold entrees at dinner, and that’s a real possibility with a late ceremony start.
Second: Your family and friends have made significant efforts to be with you on your special day. It is incredibly rude to leave them sitting in the sweltering sun, cold rain and wind, or uncomfortable chairs while you get your act together.
Third: Starting late will increase everyone’s stress, including yours. Rather than having people telling you to hurry up, or stressing about time slipping away, your day will be much more enjoyable if you’re able to keep things moving along.

So what can you do to help ensure that your ceremony (and your entire day) will run on time? Here are some practical tips:
1. Establish a schedule for the day that includes every activity you can think of – hair and make-up appointments, time to dress, time for your first look with your photographer… and don’t forget to plan for time to have something to eat and drink, and even a few minutes for you two alone throughout the day.

2. Once you have your schedule drafted, build in travel time, rest breaks and just a little unscheduled time here and there in case an activity runs long (they always do).

3. Now that you’ve got your schedule set, make sure that everyone affected has a copy. This is a great thing to email ahead of the weekend, have copies of at rehearsal, and even a few more for the wedding day. Remember, too, to have someone notify family members when to arrive for pictures, or to stay after the ceremony for them so you don’t waste time waiting on or trying to track down the errant uncle who has already found the bar or left the ceremony venue.

4. If you have an attendant or family member who always runs late, consider assigning them a “buddy” who can help them stay on time for this one, important day. It’s also a good idea for each of you to have a talk with your own attendants ahead of time, letting them know how important it is to you to stay on time, and enlisting their help to make this happen. Sometimes that personal touch is all it takes to keep people focused.

5. A planner or day of coordinator can also be a great help with the schedule, chasing errant participants and keeping you on schedule throughout the day.

There are many things to plan for and keep track of for a wedding day, but these ideas can help keep things running smoothly and allow you to enjoy your day and savor the many special moments without feeling rushed or stressed.