ceremony readings

Honoring New Families at Weddings

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony  tagged blended family / ceremony / ceremony readings / handfasting / sand ceremony / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings with children by

Honoring new families at weddings extends the significance of the wedding ceremony beyond the couple. Opportunities to include family elements in your ceremony arise when there are children from this or previous relationships. The ways of honoring new families will vary depending on the ages of the children and on their interest in participating.

Often children of any age will be included in the wedding party. Perhaps as bridemaids, groomsmen, junior attendants or flower girls or ring bearers. It is important to understand the children’s interest in participating in this way. Even adult children may have unresolved feelings due to their parents’ divorce. No one should ever be placed in an uncomfortable public position during a wedding.

There are other ways to include your children in your ceremony that are more personal. Again, the age of the children will define appropriate options, but here are a few to consider:

For young children, there is a book called “Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You” by Nancy Tillman. This story can be offered as the reading during the ceremony. It assures the children that the couple will love them always. I’ve had a couple present a copy of the book to their daughters to follow along as the story was shared at the ceremony. This provided a meaningful memento of the day and can be read often. Other options for readings are “A Lovely Love Story” by Edward Monkton or excerpts from “Oh the Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss. These are stories the children will be able to relate to, that also share concepts appropriate for marriages.

My Love Will Find You
Childrens book used for reading as a wedding that created a blended family

Children of all ages can share in a Sand Ceremony ritual where different colored sand is blended creating a visual representation of the new blended family. Along this line I’ve also had family members each decorate a special stone or rock that is placed around a tree the couple has planted. If the children are of elementary age or older they can help with a handfasting ritual. They place ribbons across the parents’ clasped hands with each ribbon representing a wish for the couple and the family.

Family Sand

And lastly, gifts can be presented to the children to include them in this special day. Traditional gifts include necklaces or framed photos of the new family. I also had a new stepdad gift his stepson with a new hockey stick in honor of their shared love of the game. The more meaningful the gifts are the more they will connect with the children.

Blended Family

Each couple will decide how far they want to go in honoring new families at their ceremony. As with so many aspects of your wedding day, there are no right or wrong answers. Perhaps you want to keep the ceremony focused on your love and commitment as a couple. Or perhaps you want the children involved in many aspects of your ceremony and your wedding day as possible. Whatever choice you make, know that there are many options available to you, and working with your celebrant you’re sure to find ones that fit your situation.

Making Your Ceremony Reflect You

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Personalization / Readings / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged ceremony readings / personal ceremonies / personal ceremony / personalized vows / personalized wedding / readings / wedding officiant / wedding processional / wedding readings by

Making your ceremony reflect you kicks off your wedding day with a sparkle. Think about your personalities as individuals and who you are as a couple, and bring those qualities into your ceremony.

Begin at the beginning of your ceremony. Think about how you want to enter the space and with whom. We’ve all seen the “dance up the aisle” entrances by wedding parties, and if that’s you, that’s great. But maybe you’re like one of my brides whose parents had died. She opted to enter with her brother and sister-in-law and two nieces. They were her closest family and that felt right to her. Maybe you’ll choose to enter as a couple, because you’ve been together for a number of years and have established your life together, and that feels most authentic to you.

When it comes to the ceremony itself, think about ways to let your story shine. Share some of your experiences with your celebrant so they can be woven into the ceremony. These can be romantic proposals, funny home renovation stories, or amazing travel moments – whatever reflects who you are and the path you’ve walked to your wedding day. Picking a reading that really reflects how you feel about love, or marriage, or building your future together is another great way to bring your thoughts into the ceremony.

Don’t forget your vows – your best opportunity for making your ceremony reflect you. Either by writing your own vows or picking ones that speak to the promises you want to make to each other, you are sharing the core of the reason you’ve gathered for the day. If you are a couple that thrives on laughing together, bringing a bit of humor into your vows is fine. If you want to keep this moment more serious or romantic, that’s great, too.

Making your ceremony reflect you begins with hiring a celebrant who specializes in doing just that. If you don’t want a cookie cutter ceremony or one created by cutting and pasting from information on the internet, take the time to research officiants and celebrants in your area and hire a professional that will help you bring your ceremony to life.

Choosing Readings and Music: Your Wedding Ceremony, Part 2

 in Ceremony / Music / Readings / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / ceremony readings / custom wedding / custom wedding ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony by

Choosing readings and music that reflect your personalities, values and interests is a great way to start personalizing your wedding ceremony. Last week’s blog got us started with the basics needed to legally marry, but there is so much more you can do with your ceremony. Especially if you are inviting family members and friends to share your wedding day, you’ll want to start the day with a ceremony that reflects who you are as a couple.

Music is a great place to begin. Using music that is significant to you for your entry and exit is fun for you and shares something about you with your guests. I’ve heard “Storybook Love” the theme from “Princess Bride”, “Everything is Awesome” from the Lego Movie, “Marry Me” by Train and “I Like It, I Love It” by Tim McGraw. Each offers an insight into the couple – fanciful, fun, contemporary, and country western. You can include more personal selections to back a unity ritual, as prelude music or postlude music as your guests leave the ceremony space. Of course, if you’re going for a traditional ceremony feel you might stick with “Canon in D” by Pachelbel, “Trumpet Voluntary” by Jeremiah Clarke, or even “Bridal Chorus” by Richard Wagner – you know, “Here Comes the Bride”.

Another way to reflect your personalities in your ceremony is through the reading or readings you select. Perhaps you have a dog or two that you view as family members. A lighthearted reading about what you can learn about love from your dogs may be a perfect match for you. If you’re avid cyclists, there’s a reading for you, too. And if you shared years of friendship before moving on to a romantic relationship, there are a number of readings to select from. Once you’ve selected your reading(s), consider who will offer them during your ceremony. The person who introduced you, a beloved grandparent, or a mutual friend of yours will provide an additional memorable moment to your day.

As you work with your celebrant to craft your ceremony, carefully choosing readings and music that reflect you provides additional insight into your relationship and shares more of your personality. Letting your guests know more about you is a great way to invite them into your celebration. Watch for next week’s blog about additional ways to personalize your ceremony.

Personalizing Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Music / Readings / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / ceremony readings / personalized wedding / unity ritual / wedding vows / weddings by

Personalizing your wedding ceremony is a favorite catch phrase these days, but what does it really mean? Wedding ceremonies are full of traditions and can feel formulaic – seen one, you’ve seen them all. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Especially if you are planning a ceremony outside of a religious community the options are nearly endless.

Here are some ideas of ways to personalize your wedding ceremony:

  • Choose music that is meaningful to you. Country music, a single violin, guitar or harp, a movie theme or a classic rock’n’roll song can all be perfect if they are perfect for you.
  • Enter the ceremony space in an authentic way. Perhaps you’ll choose to walk in alone, with your parents, with your children, with your partner, or with your extended family. It all works, as long as they are the people you want to surround you at this moment.
  • Select a reading (poetry or prose) that reflects you as a couple or speaks to you in some way. Adding a reading that doesn’t resonate with you in some way is wasting time.
  • Write your own vows. The promises you make to each other on your wedding day are the most important words of the day, so make sure that reflect what is in your heart.
  • Consider unity ritual options beyond a unity candle or sand ceremony. There are a number of rituals with lovely symbolism, so take the time to explore the possibilities. And as with readings, if it doesn’t speak to you, consider passing on a unity ritual altogether.
  • Especially if you are having a smaller number of guests, look for meaningful ways to include them in your ceremony.
  • Include the important people in your life in your ceremony. Yes, it’s all about the two of you, but having significant people participate will make it special and memorable for you.

Personalizing your wedding ceremony isn’t difficult, but it takes some additional time and effort. An experienced, trained wedding celebrant can help you unpack these ideas, offer options and suggestions of her own and write custom elements and rituals to make your ceremony truly unique. Enjoy the process of personalizing your ceremony and treasure the memories for a lifetime.

Wedding Readings Offered Creatively

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Readings / Weddings  tagged ceremony / ceremony readings / creative readings / readings / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding readings / weddings by

Wedding readings are a traditional part of wedding ceremonies, but they can be offered creatively, increasing both interest and meaning. Readings can, of course, be offered by your celebrant, but it is much more interesting to bring another voice or voices into the ceremony.

Having family members or friends offer your wedding readings is fairly common and is a nice gesture to include those loved ones in your special day. Make sure, though, that you share with your celebrant what your connection is with the person or people offering readings so that information can be shared with your guests. And you can think outside the box when choosing your readers, too. Perhaps a grandparent whose soothing voice holds a special place in your memories, or the friend who introduced you. Think about hearing the inspiring words of your readings offered by your moms who have guided you through the years. The choice of a special person for a specific reason is sure to increase the power of the moment in your ceremony.

Thinking even more creatively, here are a few things we’ve done at ceremonies I officiated:

  • Two beloved grandparents who celebrated 50 years of marriage shortly before the wedding shared the reading titled, “All I Want” at their grand daugther’s wedding. Not a dry eye to be seen.
  • The bride and groom in one encore wedding had her two and his three adult daughters share the two wedding readings as they stood up for their parents. The couple was literally surrounded by words of love and encouragement.
  • One couple shared a reading themselves, alternating stanzas, just before they offered their personal vows.
  • An entire wedding party shared a closing reflection reading with each bridesmaid and groomsman offering a wish for the couple going forward.
  • And finally, the siblings of a recent couple offered readings as a special show of support during one ceremony.

Thoughtfully choosing your wedding readings, as I discussed in last week’s post, followed by careful choices of readers and presentation of those readings will make them memorable, and will integrate them into your ceremony in a way that heightens the power and personal meaning of the readings themselves.