ceremony

Loving on Marriage Equality

 in Ceremony / Inclusive ceremony / Marriage Equality / Weddings  tagged ceremony / marriage equality / same sex wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Loving on marriage equality means welcoming and supporting couples of all genders and sexual orientations. It means working with them to help create a wedding ceremony that honors their love, and their commitment to each other. Now forces at work in our country are making noise about wanting to remove this right from some couples. So it means standing up and saying loudly that I support all couples.

Custom wedding ceremony

I have proudly supported loving couples through the years. First with commitment ceremonies before marriage equality passed. Then by offering legal wedding ceremonies to couples of all genders and sexual orientations as soon as that became possible in Minnesota. I cheered when marriage equality was extended to everyone with the Obergefell v. Hodges decision in 2015. It has been a privilege and pleasure to work with same sex couples to craft inclusive, personal ceremonies.

Seth & Derek. Same sex weddings.
Seth & Derek. Same sex weddings.

Now, however, there are concerns that marriage equality rights could be at risk as this news article demonstrates. Bills have been introduced in the US House to secure marriage equality rights. But it is not clear if they will succeed in the US Senate.

While the bills are considered, some couples are seeking the protections of legal marriage now. Loving on marriage equality continues to be a cornerstone of my business, and I will continue to serve all couples without discrimination. Minnesota Life Celebrations is a safe space to design your ideal secular ceremony, whatever that looks like.

I invite all couples considering marriage to join me in loving on marriage equality where love wins for everyone.

Honoring New Families at Weddings

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony  tagged blended family / ceremony / ceremony readings / handfasting / sand ceremony / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings with children by

Honoring new families at weddings extends the significance of the wedding ceremony beyond the couple. Opportunities to include family elements in your ceremony arise when there are children from this or previous relationships. The ways of honoring new families will vary depending on the ages of the children and on their interest in participating.

Often children of any age will be included in the wedding party. Perhaps as bridemaids, groomsmen, junior attendants or flower girls or ring bearers. It is important to understand the children’s interest in participating in this way. Even adult children may have unresolved feelings due to their parents’ divorce. No one should ever be placed in an uncomfortable public position during a wedding.

There are other ways to include your children in your ceremony that are more personal. Again, the age of the children will define appropriate options, but here are a few to consider:

For young children, there is a book called “Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You” by Nancy Tillman. This story can be offered as the reading during the ceremony. It assures the children that the couple will love them always. I’ve had a couple present a copy of the book to their daughters to follow along as the story was shared at the ceremony. This provided a meaningful memento of the day and can be read often. Other options for readings are “A Lovely Love Story” by Edward Monkton or excerpts from “Oh the Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss. These are stories the children will be able to relate to, that also share concepts appropriate for marriages.

My Love Will Find You
Childrens book used for reading as a wedding that created a blended family

Children of all ages can share in a Sand Ceremony ritual where different colored sand is blended creating a visual representation of the new blended family. Along this line I’ve also had family members each decorate a special stone or rock that is placed around a tree the couple has planted. If the children are of elementary age or older they can help with a handfasting ritual. They place ribbons across the parents’ clasped hands with each ribbon representing a wish for the couple and the family.

Family Sand

And lastly, gifts can be presented to the children to include them in this special day. Traditional gifts include necklaces or framed photos of the new family. I also had a new stepdad gift his stepson with a new hockey stick in honor of their shared love of the game. The more meaningful the gifts are the more they will connect with the children.

Blended Family

Each couple will decide how far they want to go in honoring new families at their ceremony. As with so many aspects of your wedding day, there are no right or wrong answers. Perhaps you want to keep the ceremony focused on your love and commitment as a couple. Or perhaps you want the children involved in many aspects of your ceremony and your wedding day as possible. Whatever choice you make, know that there are many options available to you, and working with your celebrant you’re sure to find ones that fit your situation.

Celebrating the New Year

 in Anniversary / Celebration / Engagement / Weddings  tagged anniversary / celebrations / ceremony / milestone anniversary / weddings by

Celebrating the new year is something all of us can do. But for some couples, the new year means even more. Perhaps an engagement made your holidays especially bright. Or maybe 2022 is the year you will be married. Or perhaps this is a year for a milestone anniversary celebration. Whatever the reason, may the new year bring much happiness and many wonderful memories.

Happy New Year!
Celebrating the new year, and maybe something more??

Newly engaged couples are still wrapped up in the wonder of the proposal and sharing your happy news with family and friends. Soon, however, you’ll begin to consider if 2022 is going to be the year of your wedding, or perhaps you’ll be looking at 2023. If you want a particular month for your wedding or have a particular venue in mind, you’ll want to work quickly to secure the date and place for your festivities.

For engaged couples already planning a 2022 wedding, celebrating the New Year is a reminder to keep working on your plans. Especially if you’ve had a long engagement, it can be easy for months to slip by and all of a sudden you can find yourself scrambling to complete all the tasks associated with a wedding. If you haven’t secured your key vendors already – photographer, musician/DJ, and celebrant/officiant, you’ll want to do that right away.

Let’s not forget about couples married 25, 30, 40, 50 years or more. Milestone anniversaries are a wonderful time to gather with family and friends to publicly voice your love and commitment to each other once again. These gatherings can be at informal – picnics or family reunions. Especially if you had a smaller celebration or eloped for your wedding, you might choose to plan a more elaborate vow renewal ceremony and celebration. No matter the style of the event, a lasting love is always worth celebrating.

Celebrating the new year is only the beginning of 2022. There are many more celebrations to come. Congratulations to all the newly engaged couples. Best wishes to all the couples marrying this year. And wishes for many more loving years together go out to the milestone anniversary couples. Love in all its forms is always worth celebrating!

Defining Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony  tagged ceremony / ceremony definition / personal ceremony / wedding ceremony by

Defining your wedding ceremony is an opportunity to personalize your wedding day. Minnesota marriage requirements are minimal – basically you have to say you want to be married to each other – so there’s lots of opportunity to make the ceremony your own. An experienced celebrant can help guide you through the process, but your wishes should be paramount.

A good way to begin the process of defining your wedding ceremony is to consider what you’ve seen at other weddings you’ve attended. Were there certain moments you found particularly touching or meaningful? Alternately, were there moments you felt you’d seen at every other wedding or didn’t care for? Share these thoughts with your celebrant as a great starting point for defining your own ceremony.

Next, think about what ceremony elements are important to you. Perhaps you have a poem, reading or song that is significant to you as a couple. Those are perfect elements to include in your ceremony. Maybe you definitely want (or don’t want) to write your own vows. Make sure that your officiant knows about this and is on board.

Writing your own vows is a great way to personalize your wedding ceremony

Another consideration should be any people you want to have a role in your ceremony. Beyond being a bridesmaid or groomsman there are a number of possibilities here. Maybe you want to ask them to be greeters to welcome your guests, or perhaps you want them to offer a reading during the ceremony. If you have family or friends who have artistic talent, perhaps you can ask them to create the backdrop for your ceremony.

And finally, you’ll want to decide if you want your ceremony personalized by including anecdotes or stories from your time together. This is the best way to put your personal stamp on your ceremony, but it’s OK to leave it out if you’re shy, very private or want a very short ceremony. Just realize that in making that choice you’re losing the element of the ceremony that is uniquely yours.

Defining your wedding ceremony involves some thought and decision making, but will result in a ceremony that fits you, that reflects your priorities, and that will be meaningful and memorable. A perfect way to begin your wedding celebration.

Advantages of Intimate Wedding Ceremonies

 in Ceremony / COVID-19 / Guests / Personalization / Weddings  tagged ceremony / COVID-19 / intimate ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

The advantages of intimate wedding ceremonies are significant. With a smaller guest list options exist for all aspects of the ceremony. You might be opting for a smaller number of ceremony guests due to safety and health restrictions, or just because the idea appeals to you.

Either way, consider some of these options and advantages of intimate wedding ceremonies:

  • Choose a circle or semi-circle ceremony space layout. These connect you to your guests in a visual and emotional way.
  • Opt to forego a wedding party, simplifying planning and expenses and keeping the focus on you as a couple during the ceremony.
  • Invite guests to participate: identify someone to hold your bouquet and someone else to hold the rings.
  • Leverage skills and interests of your guests as readers, musicians or DJ for the ceremony, and even as photographer if you’re lucky enough to have a talented family member or friend.
  • Include spontaneous moments. Perhaps you want to speak to your families and express appreciation for their assistance and support. Or near the end of the ceremony you can invite them to voice their wishes for you going forward.

It’s not uncommon for couples to express concern about being the center of attention with all eyes on them during the ceremony. But smaller guest lists offer less of a “show” feeling to the ceremony and offer you less stress and more connection with your guests. Your ceremony can also be more intimate, sharing inside stories that family and close friends will understand. You can be more open and vulnerable to each other in front of a small group of close family and friends.

While large ceremonies have their own beauty, the advantages of intimate wedding ceremonies make them a great option for many couples. Whether it is to keep you and your guests safe in the time of COVID-19, or to best fit your personal style, make sure you discuss an intimate ceremony option with your wedding celebrant when planning your wedding day.