Welcoming Ceremony

Welcome to the Family

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“Welcome to the Family” is a phrase that takes on new meaning when you gather family and close friends to celebrate a new child. I recently had the opportunity to offer two very special Child or Baby Welcoming Ceremonies. I’ve worked with both families to welcome their firstborn children previously, and was invited to celebrate new additions to each family.

These Welcoming ceremonies are a great way for non-religious families to celebrate new additions to their families. For some families a Christian baptism or christening, Jewish bris or Islamic aqiqah isn’t appropriate. A humanist Welcoming Ceremony may be the perfect fit.

Celebrating and welcoming a new baby to the family.
Welcoming a new baby

A Welcoming Ceremony gathers family and close friends together as a casual but significant way to say, “Welcome to the family.” The ceremony itself is co-created by the parents and the celebrant. It includes anything the family wants, but the following elements are common:

  • Sharing the significance of the name chosen for the child.
  • Parent promises identifying the priorities they have as they raise the child.
  • Naming of Guideparents or Mentors to be a positive, continuing presence in the child’s life.
  • Recognition of the role for grandparents, older siblings, and/or extended families.
  • A ritual that may result in a memento of the ceremony that can be shared with the child in the coming years.
Props for a Child Welcoming Ceremony
Items used for a Child Welcoming Ceremony

The rituals are often the most memorable as they can allow all the guests to offer their own welcome to the family. A water and wishing stones ritual invites guests to imbue a small stone with their wishes for the baby’s future. The stones are dropped into a bowl of water. The resulting ripples represent the impact the guest can have on the child’s life. An alternative ritual involves guests bringing letters they have written to the child sharing their hopes and dreams for them as they grow. The letters are collected in a binder to be shared with the child when they are older. An interesting addition to this ritual is the creation of a family puzzle with pictures of each guest. The child can play with the puzzle in just a few years and be told the story of the Welcoming Ceremony.

Water ritual at a Baby Welcoming Ceremony
Water and Wishing Stones Ritual

Welcome to the family ceremonies can be personalized to address each family’s situation. They can be held indoors or out. They can include a meal and socializing following the ceremony. Since the little one is the guest of honor, it is best to keep the ceremonies brief and casual, and schedule them at the time of day when they are most likely to be in good spirits.

Becoming a Family Celebrant

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Becoming a family celebrant has been an unexpected benefit of the work I’ve done as a lifecyle celebrant over the last 14 years. I’ve always offered “cradle to grave” ceremonies, meaning everything from child welcomings to weddings to memorial services. But I didn’t foresee having the opportunity to create and offer multiple ceremonies for a given family.

Becoming a family celebrant has taken different forms for different families. For some families it means offering multiple wedding ceremonies over the years for siblings. I feel especially honored when the second or subsequent sibling contacts me. I know that they’ve seen my work and trust me to create their unique marriage ceremony, too.

Custom memorial services

In other cases, I’ve become the family’s memorial celebrant. I’m called upon to create and offer ceremonies that celebrate and honor the life of a recently deceased family member. I’ve had the privilege to officiate at three memorials for one special family. I’ve helped them recognize the life of the patriarch, matriarch and daughter.

In a twist on the idea of becoming a family celebrant, I’ve repeatedly been called upon to welcome a child into the family of a couple I married earlier. These special requests provide an opportunity for me to catch up with the couple. And I get to see how their lives have grown since I married them. I’ve just recently been contacted to create a welcoming ceremony for the second child of one couple I married a number of years ago. We celebrated their marriage first. Then in 2020 we celebrated the birth of their first child. Now I look forward to celebrating the arrival of their second son later this year.

Baby Welcoming - Wishes Tree
Baby Welcoming – Wishes Tree

While most of the ceremonies I offer are weddings, it is a pleasure to also celebrate and commemorate other life events. I appreciate the trust and confidence previous clients demonstrate when they ask for my assistance a second or even third time.

Building Family Connections

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Building Family Connections has been an unexpected benefit of my work as a Humanist Celebrant over the past 13 years. I’ve had the great good fortune to meet many wonderful couples and families as I’ve crafted wedding ceremonies, child welcoming ceremonies and memorial services. I am particularly touched when people who know my work seek my services for additional ceremonies through the years.

One of my earliest ceremonies was a memorial service for a man who was an immigrant from the Netherlands. He was the beloved patriarch of his family and we celebrated the rich and adventurous life he had led. Unfortunately, it was only a few years later when I was called on to celebrate his daughter’s life after her battle with breast cancer. A few years after that we gathered once again when the matriarch of the family died. Seeing the family repeatedly for these ceremonies was a gift to me as I learned more about them and saw firsthand the legacy of love and the values that remaining family members carry into the future.

On the wedding side of my business I’ve married sisters from one family, three brothers from another, and will shortly marry the sister of one of my previous grooms. In each of these cases the couples have seen me create and offer ceremonies for their siblings. They know and value the focus I place on the couple in wedding ceremonies. They understand that I work collaboratively with each couple to ensure the ceremony reflects their personalities and tells their stories. It’s fun to see these families through the years and reconnect over such happy events.

I’ve also had the privilege to create child welcoming ceremonies for multiple couples that I’ve previously married. And just last week I encountered the parents of one of my grooms from 11 years ago and heard about their happy marriage and two children. Building family connections like this is a true joy.

Through these repeated engagements I become something of a “family celebrant”, a role I cherish. Building family connections and being able to support families with all kinds of ceremony services is one of the best parts of my job. I never know when the next call for “repeat services” will come, but I’m always happy to catch up with familiar faces and honor the next milestone moment in their lives.

Looking Back at 2021

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Looking back at 2021 brings memories of the return to mostly “normal” ceremonies. Memories of rainy outdoor ceremonies and lots of miles put on the car. Memories of happy couples and happy babies. It has been a good year as I officiated 47 ceremonies with one left on the schedule for the coming weeks.

A couple of smaller ceremonies were delayed this year due to COVID outbreaks, but most went off as planned. The return to “normal” is not complete yet as variants and unvaccinated people continue to make scheduling and holding ceremonies a challenge. Holding outdoor ceremonies – always preferred by most of the clients I deal with – helped limit concern of virus spread.

Looking back at 2021 ceremonies, though, it’s clear that the weather was not very cooperative. Three weddings I performed were damp or wet events when the couples chose to continue with outdoor plans despite the weather. One couple did opt to move their ceremony indoors which allowed everyone to be more comfortable… and dry. The weather this year reinforced the need to have a valid bad weather backup plan for any ceremony planned for Minnesota. Equally important, however, is the willingness of the couple to shift to their indoor space when inclement weather strikes.

This year included lots of out of town ceremonies. I’m not sure why that happened, but it certainly impacted the time spent of rehearsals and ceremonies, and the miles put on my car. I did get a couple of overnight hotel stays which helped a bit. So far, all my booked ceremonies for 2022 are here in Rochester, so this year seems to have been an anomaly.

As with every year, the overwhelming impression left looking back at 2021 is one of happy, smiling faces. From the proud parents to the ecstatic brides and grooms, from the tired but proud new parents of a little one to the grandmas celebrating the new generation of their family. All my reasons for offering ceremony services were reinforced once again this year. As I wind down the year, I’m already working with couples planning 2022 ceremonies. And so the cycle begins again.

A Week for Giving Thanks

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A week for giving thanks is upon us, offering a time to reflect on the good things in life. I invite you to share in my reflection. I encourage you to take a few moments between the guests, the turkey, the football, and the travel to reflect on the good things in your life, too.

This year I am grateful for vaccines that have allowed us to gather more safely to celebrate the important moments in life. It may have been to welcome a new child to the family, to voice your commitment to each other in marriage, or to commemorate the passing of a loved one. Whatever the reason, our humanity urges us to gather at these times to recognize that our lives have changed. Vaccines have helped us gather more safely.

I am also grateful for the couples I’ve worked with this year on their weddings. A few were couples who legally married last year under COVID restrictions and chose to celebrate in 2021 with a full ceremony and wedding day attended by family and friends. Other couples delayed their weddings until this year or had planned for a 2021 ceremony all along. All the couples invested themselves in their ceremony – providing information and reviews to ensure that the ceremony reflected them and told their story.

A Celebration of Life for a member of my family was both a responsibility and privilege earlier this year, and I was honored to be asked to lead that gathering. That event was balanced by a Baby Welcoming ceremony this fall that served to remind me of the joy and beauty to be found in the newest members of our community.

My life has been touched by all these people celebrating milestone moments. I feel especially honored to be invited into their lives, to share in their stories, and hopefully, to have made their days a bit more memorable. During this week for giving thanks, I offer my sincere wishes to everyone for a safe and Happy Thanksgiving Day.