Weddings

Four Wedding Trends for 2021

 in COVID-19 / Trends / Wedding planning / Weddings / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding trends / weddings by

Four wedding trends for 2021 are influencing couples planning their marriages this year. The pandemic continues to drive changes to what is possible and what is safe. We can’t know when we will return to some sort of “normal” where weddings are concerned, but couples will certainly be influenced by these four wedding trends this year.

  1. Shorter planning cycles. States are frequently changing the number of people who can gather based on current COVID numbers and spikes. Couples are choosing to schedule, plan, invite guests, and hold their weddings within a few weeks to months. This in turn drives the next trend.
  2. Smaller guest lists. Smaller weddings can be planned more quickly and held more safely, both considerations in 2021. Some couples are choosing to have only very close family and friends. Others are focusing on local friends and family so guests don’t have to incur the risks involved in airports, airplanes and hotels. There is an upside to more intimate weddings as couples are able to include guests in meaningful ways in the ceremony and throughout the day.
  3. More intentionality in the wedding day. Couples who have delayed or postponed weddings from last year will tend to be more thoughtful about what is truly important to about the day. They might have fewer people in attendance, but will want something special and memorable. Choices around the ceremony, dinner and reception may all be customized for your day.
  4. Weekdays. 2021 will likely host many weddings postponed from last year, along with the events for newly engaged couples. This will put a strain on venues and other wedding vendors. Venue availability in particular will drive couples to get creative and consider weekdays for their weddings.

These four wedding trends for 2021 relate to each other and are all driven by the pandemic we’re living through. If you’re planning, or re-planning a wedding for this year you’ll likely feel the impact of some or most of these. But there are upsides to each of these trends, too. Ultimately the weddings of 2021 will be special and unique because each couple is.

Your Secular Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Secular wedding / Weddings  tagged secular ceremony / secular readings / secular wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding party / wedding vows by

Your secular wedding ceremony can be what you truly want it to be. When you’re not constrained by religious requirements, you have the freedom to include only elements that are meaningful to you. The focus of the ceremony can be you as a couple, the love you’ve found together, and the commitment you are making to each other in marriage.

Writing your own vows is a great first step to making your ceremony your own. If you’re not comfortable with that idea, you can choose from literally hundreds of “repeat after me” style vows. Your vows are the public statement of your commitment to each other, so it’s important that they express the promises you want to make. Choosing a reading that reflects your priorities and feelings about love or marriage is another great way to personalize your ceremony. With a secular ceremony your reading can be sourced from any poetry, prose or quotes that speak to you.

Another benefit of choosing your secular wedding ceremony is that you don’t have to include a sermon or homily by your officiant. You can use that time to have your celebrant share highlights of your love story, include an additional reading, or simply have a shorter ceremony. Unity ritual options are nearly limitless in a secular ceremony, and if you want to have a ritual written just for you, many celebrants are willing to do that.

Wedding party surrounds the couple.

While your secular wedding ceremony can have a look and feel of a traditional ceremony, it doesn’t have to. Options for processionals, wedding parties, the ceremony spaces are limited only by your imagination. Perhaps you want your wedding party to stand in a semi-circle around you rather than in straight lines. If you choose to have only one attendant for each of you, they can stand together on one side with the celebrant on the other side of you, balancing the space and keeping you the center of attention.

Civil requirements for marriage are very minimal. Once you get your legal paperwork for your state, your creativity and the skills of your celebrant are the only limitations you’ll encounter. A personal secular ceremony can be the perfect way to begin your wedding celebration if you are non-religious or of different religions and choose to avoid conflicting requirements. Let your personalities and your love for each other shine and you’re sure to have a wonderful, memorable ceremony for you and for your guests.

Now Your Journey Begins

 in Engagement / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged engagement / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / wedding vendors by

Now your journey begins. Congratulations! If you became engaged during the 2020 holiday season, the journey to your wedding day is just beginning. No doubt, one of the most frequently asked questions you’ve received as you shared your happy news is, “Have you set a date yet?” Setting your wedding date is indeed one of the first things you’ll want to do, but it hinges primarily on your venue’s availability.

Pretty autumn venue

Once you’ve located a venue that you really like, availability of that space will largely define your choice of wedding dates. With date and venue known, it’s time to start locking in other vendors. If you have certain vendors you want to work with, you’ll want to speak with them early in your planning process. Be aware, too, that there are more photographers and DJs, for example, than celebrants and string quartets around. So prioritize speaking with in demand vendors or those with limited supply.

The complexity of wedding planning can be overwhelming, so finding wedding planner software or a physical planning binder can be helpful. Be aware, though, that the timeframe guidelines listed in these tools may not be accurate for our region. The sooner you can lock down the services and people you want to support you on your wedding day the better.

Sweet ceremony moments
Ring Exchange

Your journey begins with reaching out to many people you do not know, to secure services you may not be familiar with. This can be intimidating until you realize that the people you’ll engage with are each expert in their fields. Feel free to contact them and ask them to guide you through what you need to know. We understand that many couples are planning weddings for the first time, and don’t really know where to start. An initial email or phone call will get the ball rolling. Once you have your wedding date and venue, you have the key information most vendors will need to have before they can tell you if they are available to consider working with you.

If you’re newly engaged enjoy the moment! Take a bit of time to share your happy news with family and friends. Now your journey begins as you jump into wedding planning. Throughout the process remember the reason you’re doing it – you’ve found the love of your life and want to move forward in marriage. With that as the guiding force behind all your plans you’re sure to have a wonderful wedding day that you’ll remember forever. Again, congratulations, and I hope to hear from you when you’re ready to plan to ceremony.

Note: Due to COVID-19, Kathy is booking custom ceremonies only for dates after June 30, 2021. She is available for simple certificate signings until then.

Out With the Old and In With the New

 in Celebration / Ceremony / COVID-19 / Weddings  tagged certificate signing / COVID-19 / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Out with the old and in with the new is a sentiment often spoken as we approach the end of the year. Never was it more true than as we close out 2020 and look to the new year with hope. 2020 has been the strangest, most stressful year most of us have ever experienced. It seems years ago that we started the year with normal hopes and expectations for the beginning of a new decade. Then COVID arrived and everything changed.

Many couples with plans to marry in 2020 were left scrambling. They variously decided to hold their dates and modified guest lists, venues and more, or postponed to later in the year or to 2021. Some couples actually planned their wedding three times as postponements to later in 2020 needed to be moved into the next year as the pandemic raged on. Some lucky couples with summer wedding dates managed to hold their days mostly as planned, but even then masks, hand sanitizer and social distancing impacted the vision they had for their wedding day.

Throughout the year many couples chose a brief Marriage Certificate Signing option. This no ceremony option meets the legal requirements of marriage, but happens with just the couple and their required witnesses. We gather briefly, masked and distanced, and say the words necessary to join them in legal marriage. Couples chose this option for many reasons, but most of them were tied to the pandemic. In some cases, they wanted to hold their original wedding date, but plan to hold a celebration later. Other couples opted for a Certificate Signing due to job losses and the need to be eligible for their partner’s medical insurance. Still others worked in medical fields or simply feared the virus and wanted to have spousal privileges should they or their partner become ill.

All of these reasons reflect the state of our world today as our lives continue to be defined, or at least significantly impacted, by COVID-19. But as the year comes to a close, the phrase, “Out with the old and in with the new” takes on more meaning than usual. With vaccines beginning to be available we can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Newly engaged couples can begin planning the late 2021 or 2022 wedding they want with fewer concerns for the virus. Those who married this year in small to non-existent ceremonies can consider the outlines of a future celebration. Love always finds a way, as the many couples who found a way to marry this year can attest. Congratulations and best wishes to all the couples I married this year. May you share your stories of 2020 with generations to come, and remember the strange and unique year you began your marriage journey.

Ceremonies to Remember: Involving Others

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged blended family / memorable wedding / personalized wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Involving Others in novel ways in your ceremony shows your love and respect for them. This post is the third in the Ceremonies to Remember series where I reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. The previous posts focused on ceremonies I’ve done for family members and unique processionals.

Traditional ways of involving others in your ceremony include as bridesmaids and groomsmen, as ushers and flower girls. But some of the couples I married found unique ways to include those important to them. In one case the groom had a daughter who was about 10 years old. They wanted to include her in the ceremony to honor the new family they were becoming. A handfasting had been chosen as their unity ritual, and they chose to have his daughter actual wrap and tie the ribbon, signifying her support for their marriage. The cord was made extra long, so after the couple were connected, the daughter placed her hand on top of theirs. The cord was then wrapped and tied around the three hands, denoting the new family formed by the ceremony. It was a touching moment, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.

Family Handfasting

A second couple chose to honor their parents in a way that also honored their heritage. Early in the wedding ceremony the parents stepped forward to present gifts of bread, wine, salt and a coin to the couple. Each had significance from their European heritage which was shared with the guests. The ritual also made clear the love and support the bride and groom were receiving from their new in-laws as they were welcomed to the family.

Parents gifts

The final example of involving others in a ceremony in a special way honored the bride’s Indian heritage. After the exchange of vows and rings in the western tradition, her grandfather presided over the Seven Steps ritual. This ritual marks the commitment the couple makes to each other as they take their first steps as a married couple. To make this moment even more special, he had performed the same ritual with his daughter (the bride’s mother) when she married nearly 30 years ago.

These three examples show how some thought, creativity and sensitivity when involving others in your wedding ceremony ensure that it will be significant and memorable for everyone. When you choose to have a ceremony written just for you there are nearly endless ways of involving others who are important to you.