Weddings

Honoring Loved Ones at Weddings

 in Ceremony / Uncategorized / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged honoring loved ones / memorial moment / remembering loved ones / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Honoring loved ones at weddings can be accomplished in a few different ways. If the person (or people) were close to you, you’ll want to find a way to include them in your special day. But weddings are happy occasions, and you don’t want everyone getting sad and distracted during your ceremony.

Honoring loved ones can be done subtly or in a bolder fashion. If you’re having a ceremony program, a remembrance section naming family and friends who have passed may be sufficient. Including a general comment early in the ceremony can also be done gracefully. It can have more impact if you name your loved ones. You can even include a moment of silence in their honor. But if you want something more visual, here are a few options to consider:

  1. Set up a table at the back of the ceremony space with pictures of your loved ones with a plaque and/or candle. Memorial Pictures & Message Memorial Candle
  2. Place a flower or other memento in their honor on the chair they would have occupied. Memorial Mementos
  3. Bring a memento of them into the ceremony – this couple hung a favorite wind chime to honor the groom’s mom. Memorial Wind Chime
  4. At one ceremony I performed, the bride placed a uniform and dress on chairs to honor her grandparents.Honoring Grandparents

Moving beyond the ceremony, honoring loved ones can also be a part of your reception. Place wedding pictures near your cake or gift table can bring them symbolically into your celebration. Or perhaps you’ll dance to their favorite song or raise a toast to them. All are ways to honor the role and impact they’ve had in making you the person you are on your wedding day. Honoring loved ones can be a sensitive topic, but it’s worthwhile to reflect on those important people in your life and choose a way to include them in your wedding day.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony weather by

Rain, rain, go away is a sweet line from a sweet children’s song, but the reality of rain on your wedding day isn’t sweet at all. Our weather in Minnesota is so variable, that I always ask couples what their bad weather backup ceremony location is. I’ve had three weddings this season where rain was a factor, and the couples took different approaches to it.

In May the couple proceeded with their outdoor ceremony as planned. Guests sat huddled under umbrellas trying to avoid the chilly rain that continued throughout the ceremony. The bride was very composed and seemed unconcerned about the bad weather. The DJ, however, was uncomfortable with the potential impact of the rain on his equipment. I did make a few modifications to the ceremony to keep things moving and minimize the time people sat in the rain.

In July the couple really, really wanted to have an outdoor ceremony, so we continued with the outdoor plan. The wedding party was mostly protected by the tree we were standing under, but as I looked out at the guests, many of them were holding programs over their heads trying to stay dry.

And then just recently rain impacted a third ceremony. This couple, however, after trying to capture a few outdoor photos, decided to hold the ceremony indoors. The venue set up a ceremony space by moving reception tables aside and setting up rows of chairs. At ceremony time the guests calmly and comfortably awaited the entrance of the wedding party, and the ceremony went off without a hitch.

It’s unusual to have rain impact so many ceremonies in a single year. The weather is one aspect of your wedding day that you have no control over. While you may wish to have the rain, rain, go away, it is best to have a backup plan that you are happy with and willing to implement if necessary. Your guests (and DJ and officiant) will thank you for it.

Ceremony Music – Strike a Pleasing Chord

 in Music / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Rehearsal / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / music professionals / recorded ceremony music / wedding music by

Ceremony music can strike a pleasing chord and enhance your wedding ceremony, if done well. However, it can often be the weak link in ceremony planning and result in a noticeably discordant note in an otherwise beautiful ceremony. If you hire live musicians with experience performing for wedding ceremonies, or if you hire a professional DJ, you can be confident that the music you select will be a lovely accompaniment to your ceremony.

As you’re planning your ceremony you might encounter a cost cutting suggestion of using recorded music played from a personal device. This can be a good suggestion if carefully implemented, but too often leads to disappointing results. With all the technology available at our fingertips today it seems like having a friend or family member run your music from a phone would be a simple and inexpensive option. But a number of pitfalls await this decision.

  1. Having someone run the ceremony music from your phone can result in them not knowing where the music is located, or what order to play the songs in. Worst of all, the device can lock during the ceremony with no way for the person to unlock it for the recessional at the end of the ceremony.
  2. You’ll need to have your device connected to speakers, and not any speaker will do. You need to be able to have the music played loud enough that the wedding party can hear it and know when to enter and leave the ceremony space.
  3. The person running the music needs to know how to fade out a song, cycle it to play again, and switch songs quickly to support a processional with multiple music selections.
  4. If you’re going to rely on any sound system components from your ceremony venue you need to take the music device there in the weeks preceding the ceremony to ensure that the proper cables and speakers are available. This can help avoid a situation where it’s time to begin the ceremony and no music is available.
  5. Finally, you will want to have the person running your music attend your rehearsal so they can practice the processional and recessional in your ceremony space. This will give you a final chance to correct any problems with your music plan.

The best way to ensure that your ceremony music strikes a pleasing cord is to rely on professionals for either live or recorded music. If you make another choice, invest the time and attention to detail to maximize the chances of success.

Choose Your Own Wedding Ceremony Style

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged certificate signing / Full custom ceremony / personal ceremony / Vow exchange / wedding ceremony by

Choose your own wedding ceremony style to ensure that your big day reflects you as a couple. The ceremony starts the wedding day celebration and should be all you want it to be, and only what you want it to be. As our area continues to recover from the COVID-19 pandemic all kinds of wedding ceremonies are once again available, allowing you to choose the style that fits you best.

Full Custom ceremonies are coming back in large numbers. Now that you can gather again with family and friends many couples are busy planning ceremonies that share their story and include readings, unity rituals and all the extras. I’m working hard to accommodate couples who want big ceremonies but are working on tight schedules. Remember to select your officiant at least six months in advance if you want this kind of personalized ceremony.

When you choose your own wedding ceremony style the term “short and sweet” may come to mind. It’s helpful to define this a little more when speaking with potential celebrants. Do you want a personalized ceremony, or prefer not to share a lot of your story? If you’re looking for a 5-10 minute ceremony without a lot of personalization, a Vow Exchange or elopement style ceremony may be the perfect fit. This style allows you to write your own vows or select from a few vow options in the repeat-after-me format. There’s space for a ring exchange if you want one, and even for a reading. This style can be perfect for a shy or more private couple who don’t enjoy being the center of attention. A Vow Exchange also works well for a more casual celebration or for second or subsequent marriages.

The final ceremony style I offer is the Certificate Signing. I sometimes refer to this as a “no ceremony” option because it focuses on meeting the legal requirements for marriage in Minnesota and not much more. You respond to a simple question regarding your intention to join in marriage, I extend good wishes for your marriage, make a pronouncement and invite you to kiss. Legal paperwork is signed and the entire process takes no more than 3 minutes.

I performed many Certificate Signings during the pandemic because that’s all we could do. But now you can choose your own wedding ceremony style again. So if you’re having a big celebration and want a personal ceremony experience, ask for the Full Custom ceremony. A Vow Exchange is perfect for smaller, informal gatherings or when you’re not interested in sharing your personal story. And a Certificate Signing will always be the choice for couples who, “just want to make it legal.” Every couple is unique and has their own style, so just pick the ceremony style that fits you best.

Rehearsals Reduce Stress

 in Ceremony / Wedding Party / Wedding processional / Wedding Rehearsal / Weddings  tagged stess reduction / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding party / wedding rehearsal by

Rehearsals reduce stress for the couple being married, their attendants and parents, and anyone else who has a role in the wedding ceremony. While I often tell people that wedding ceremonies are not rocket science, a rehearsal will help ensure that everyone looks their best and is comfortable with the experience.

I include a rehearsal in the pricing for my celebrant services for weddings because I think they are an important part of ceremony preparation. At rehearsal I meet with the couple, their attendants (bridesmaids and groomsmen), parents, and any other people who have a role in the ceremony. This includes flower girls, ring bearers, readers, and friends or family who will be running the music for the ceremony.

Rehearsals reduce stress by allowing people in the processional to practice where they are going to walk and stand. They allow readers or musicians to practice in the ceremony space. The wedding party sees who they are following up the aisle, and we discuss what cues will tell them when to walk. Once in front, everyone can find their place and know where to stand for the ceremony.

Beyond basic movement, we chat about how the men are to offer their arm to the women, and where the women are to place their hand on the offered arm. Our world is so casual these days, that this small bit of etiquette is often totally unknown to the wedding participants. We also discuss how the women should hold their flowers and remind the men to keep their hands out of their pockets. These small things can result in a more elegant appearance and much better pictures, too.

Rehearsals are often followed with a dinner or social gathering. This also reduces stress as members of the wedding party who haven’t met before can get to know each other and be more comfortable with each other at the ceremony. The wedding day is full of hustle and bustle and many guests, so a rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity to celebrate privately with those special people who are part of your wedding party, too.