Weddings

One hundred is not one hundred when you’ve invited one hundred guests to your wedding ceremony, but the last ten arrive to find no chair available for them to sit in. But why, you ask, would this happen? Because there are going to be empty chairs in a number of places, leaving your final guests standing awkwardly at the back of the ceremony space. Here are a couple of scenarios I’ve seen at recent weddings:

Scenario 1: One couple did not spend time deciding exactly which family members they wanted seated in reserved seating at the front of the ceremony space. They casually said, “Just leave the first two rows on each side of the aisle for family”. Each row had 10 chairs on each side of the aisle. The result – the last four to six seats in each of the first two rows were empty as the last guests arrived. All other seats were taken, and guests were standing around looking lost, having been told the first two rows were reserved for family. The venue had set out exactly the number of chairs asked for by the couple, which was exactly the number of guests they were expecting. Solution: Either ensure that the family will fully utilize the chairs in the reserved rows, or have extra chairs set up so non-family guests have a place to sit.

Scenario 2: Many couples are opting for a more relaxed approach to seating their guests. Rather than having ushers formally escort guests to their seats, the guests are handed a program (if one exists), and invited to seat themselves wherever they wish, leaving the first x rows for immediate family. With these instructions, guests often leave an empty seat between groups, resulting in a scattering of empty single seats throughout the ceremony space. The last 10 to 20 guests are greeted with inside seats that are difficult to gracefully reach and without the ability to sit together. So they stand in the back. Solution: Have your ushers ask people to not leave empty seats between themselves, and have some extra chairs set up, knowing that some people will still leave empty seats. Another way to address this situation is to ask that the chairs not be placed right next to each other. Leaving just a couple of inches of space between the chairs provides an extra bit of shoulder and elbow room for your guests, and can usually be easily accommodated in outdoor ceremony venues where you’re not constrained by walls.

In each scenario, setting a few extra chairs removes some stress for your guests, makes everyone feel that they are expected and welcome, and allows your guests to take their seats quickly and without fuss. That allows you to start your ceremony on time and begin your wedding celebration on a happy note… all with the simple addition of a few extra chairs.

The old TV ad, “Can You Hear Me, Now?”, was cute, but you want to ensure that the important family members and friends who have come to share in your wedding ceremony can hear what’s being said. While indoor ceremony spaces can prove a challenge if there are more than 30 guests, outside ceremony spaces have built in obstacles.

There are a number of noise issues, both natural and man made, that need to be considered. Stand in your ceremony space at about the time of your wedding. Listen carefully. Even if the space is secluded you might have issues with road noise from unseen but nearby roadways. Even the sound of wind in large trees can be a problem. And the sound of water from fountains or rivers can provide great white noise… that totally drowns out the sound of voices. And don’t forget the birds. They can be quite noisy, especially at certain times of the day. The trickiest one to plan for, though, is the wind. If it is strong, and blowing toward your officiant, their voice will be whisked totally away from the guests. And there is no way to plan for or avoid it if it happens.

The solution for all these situations is to make sure that the officiant and any readers, along with the two of you (especially if you’ve written your own vows for the ceremony) all have access to microphones. I have a number of audio systems available for the ceremonies I perform; one that can be plugged into electricity and two of different sizes that run on batteries. I also have a microphone headset that I prefer to wear, along with a hand held wireless microphone for readers and the couple.

Not all officiants have their own equipment, so make sure you ask when interviewing them. Other possible sources for audio equipment are your DJ, if he/she is providing ceremony music, and the venue itself. Audio equipment can also be rented from local rental stores, but if you go that route, make sure there is someone at the wedding who knows how to set-up and run the equipment.

Your wedding ceremony is special. It is the time when you cross the threshold into marriage. It is often something you’ve worked hard on, to ensure that it represents you as a couple. It is the beginning of the celebration on your wedding day. For all these reasons, you want to ensure that you and your guests can all hear the words that voice your commitment to each other and mark the beginning of your marriage journey. Happy listening.

Weddings are often over the top experiences, but alcohol consumption is one area where moderation is the key. I would have hoped not to ever have to write this blog, but it happened again recently, so I guess it needs to be said. It’s important that the bridal party not overindulge before the wedding ceremony.

There is nothing attractive about a groomsman swaying down the aisle or a bridesmaid too inebriated to walk at all. And it’s essential that the couple marrying have their wits about them as they enter into a legal and emotional commitment intended to last a lifetime.

I understand that it’s a long day, often starting early with hair and make-up, and with periods of down time when a beverage is very appealing. I really appreciated the father of the bride at a recent wedding who shared that he had set a “one beer before the ceremony” rule for the groomsmen that day.

I understand that it’s a day to celebrate, and that alcohol is often a part of that, and I’m not anti-alcohol. I do, however, think that as a part of the wedding party you owe it to the couple to be sober and to gracefully fulfill the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid or groomsman. And I do think it’s important for the couple to set the tone for the day.

All that said, it’s better to excuse an inebriated bridesmaid or groomsman from the ceremony than risk someone falling or getting sick at an inopportune time. Processional groupings can be quickly adjusted and the ceremony can continue without delay if someone is not able participate. Few guests will likely notice, and if the person can sober up some they can rejoin the party later for the dinner and reception. Embarrassing, yes. Critical, no. But the best way to handle this situation is to avoid it in the first place. There’s enough emotion, happiness and excitement to fuel the day and guarantee a great celebration, so practice moderation with the alcohol.