Weddings

The Benefits of Hiring Professionals

 in Ceremony / Music / Officiant / Weddings  tagged officiant / professionals by

There are benefits to hiring professionals for your wedding day. You can ask friends and relatives to help with many tasks associated with your wedding, from making signs to creating welcome bags for out of town guests staying at hotels; from helping to address invitations to greeting guests at the ceremony. But there are some tasks that I suggest are best handled by professionals.

I will admit that I am biased, since I’m one of the professionals you can hire for your wedding day, but stay with me as I make my case. You probably have an amateur photographer among your acquaintances who could take pictures at your wedding. But they likely will not have the experience or equipment to capture all the special moments that a professional photographer would. And you can certainly ask a friend to run your recorded music for your ceremony, but do you have appropriate speakers so the music will be heard? Will that friend know when to start, stop or cycle a given song so the last part of the processional doesn’t happen in silence and you don’t have to stand awkwardly waiting for the music to finish? Professional DJs and live musicians with wedding experience can ensure there are no awkward silences or over long musical interludes.

Those are just two examples of the difference between using professional vendors and gracious friends and family. Within the world of wedding ceremony trends I cringe when people tell me they’ve asked a brother, uncle or friend to act as their officiant. I’m personally busy enough that I’m not concerned with losing business to this trend, but I worry about the resulting ceremony for a couple of reasons. First, the person acting as officiant often knows one of you better than the other, and likely has a limited perspective on your relationship. This can result in an unbalanced ceremony that doesn’t really focus on you, your love and commitment to each other. You really don’t want your ceremony to sound like the warm-up for the evening’s toasts.

The second reason I worry is because these well-intentioned folks usually don’t have training in what we call the “emotional arc” of the ceremony. A well designed ceremony will carry you and your guests on a journey – it will build to a crescendo, and close with feelings of hope and excitement for your future. Untrained officiants are likely to place ceremony elements in a haphazard order, or draw focus to concepts out of order in a way that leaves everyone feeling a bit at sea. And worst case, the untrained officiant might not follow state requirements to be able to perform a legal ceremony for you, or may get cold feet and back out altogether, only weeks or days before your wedding.

For all the above reasons, I encourage you to consider hiring professionals to handle what you consider to be the most important parts of your wedding day, and to engage your helpful family and friends to work on the surrounding tasks – or just enjoy being welcomed guests. This approach will lead to a memorable wedding day and will reduce the potential for various disasters.

Finding Your Ideal Officiant

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Weddings  tagged ceremony / officiant / wedding by

Finding your ideal officiant is different than finding an officiant. Last week I wrote about how to begin your search for a wedding officiant – the person who will make your marriage legal, and who will preside at your wedding ceremony. But you don’t want just anyone serving in this important role. Your wedding ceremony is a personal, intimate experience that takes place in front of all the people you’ve invited to share your wedding day. That’s a tricky balance to strike. You want your ceremony to be memorable, special, unique and authentic for you as a couple. So how do you find your ideal officiant; the person that can deliver that?

When speaking with potential wedding officiants, I encourage you to evaluate them against these five criteria:
1. Does s/he share my vision for the ceremony? This encompasses things including the amount of humor you want, the ways you want to involve your guests, your approach/wishes regarding your vows, and the level of religiosity you want.

2. Is s/he open to my requests and priorities? This is similar to number 1, but more specific. If you indicate a preference for something, does the officiant listen to what you’re saying and incorporate your ideas in the outline and ceremony plans?

3. Do I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with the officiant? You want to be able to say “no” to ideas that don’t fit you or that you don’t want to spend time on during your ceremony. At its best, your wedding ceremony reflects you as a couple, so you need to be able to share your experiences and personalities with the officiant. If you’re not comfortable doing that, s/he’s probably not the right person for you to work with.

4. Does s/he offer ideas or suggestions I didn’t know about? Can this person help take the ceremony beyond what you had considered? Even if you decline the suggestions they offer, knowing that you’ve considered many options will make you more confident that you will get the ceremony you want for your wedding day

5. Do I have reason to believe that this person can deliver on their promises in a quality way? Basically this gets to the officiant’s education, experience, referrals, references or testimonials. A new officiant my be highly motivated to do a good job for you, but having seen their work personally or getting a referral from a family member or friend whose opinion you value can really increase your confidence in an officiant.

Every reputable officiant will offer the the opportunity to talk with them before hiring them. This can take the form of an in person meeting, a phone call or a Skype or Face Time discussion, but you deserve to get to know them a bit, ask all the questions you have, and be able to assess them against the five criteria, above. When you find someone who meets all those criteria, you’ve found a person you can hire with confidence. You’ve found your ideal officiant!

Two sad words: Not Available

 in Ceremony / Weddings by

Not available – two sad words I’ve had to say too many times in recent days. I received inquiries from couples both at the Unveiled wedding show last month and via email in recent days for 2018 dates that are already booked on my calendar. I had to tell these couples that I am not available to work with them on their ceremonies.

We are definitely at the point where 2018 couples are actively looking for a wedding officiant, and calendars are beginning to fill for the high demand months of next year. If you are getting married next year and haven’t yet secured your wedding officiant, now is the time to take action. If you’re not connected to a faith community, it can be difficult to find an officiant. Here are a few ways to tackle the situation:

1. Ask your ceremony/reception venue manager for referrals. They know who has performed ceremonies at their venue before, and who does a good job.
2. Ask friends, family or co-workers who have recently married who officiated for them, and what their experience was with their officiant.
3. Google “wedding officiant Rochester” or the city where your ceremony will be held.

Now that you have a few names, you want to spend a little time thinking about and talking with your fiance(e) about what you want in your ceremony. Think about what you’ve seen at weddings you’ve attended. Are there things you definitely do or don’t want in your own ceremony? Think about your vows (the most important part of your ceremony). Do you want to write your own, or want the officiant to provide samples to choose from? Think about the role you want to play in the creation of your ceremony. Do you want to write some or most of it yourselves, or collaborate with your officiant on the outline and leave the writing to her/him?

Now it’s time to reach out to officiants. Use whatever contact information you have – phone or email are most common. This is often the most intimidating part of the process, as you may not know where to start the conversation. I suggest a simple, “Hi, my name is ___, we’re getting married on at , and are interested in considering your services as a wedding officiant.” You’ve provided key information to the officiant, and they can pick up the conversational (or email) ball from there.

While 2018 bookings are definitely picking up, there are still many open dates on my calendar, so don’t hesitate. Please reach out with your wedding date and venue and let’s start a conversation. Hopefully I won’t have to use those sad words: I’m not available.

The next step is finding not just an officiant, but the right officiant for your wedding. And that’s the focus of next week’s blog.

Three Evolving Wedding Trends

 in Trends / Weddings  tagged wedding trends by

Evolving wedding trends are interesting to explore, but make sure you pick and choose those that reflect you for your wedding day. If you make choices based on your own personalities, style and interests, you ensure that your wedding day will be personal and authentic, allowing you to be comfortable and have a great time.

That said, here are a few things trending for weddings in our area:
1. Fashion: Bridal gowns with sleeves of all lengths are increasing in popularity, with a decreased focus on strapless gowns. Beautiful patterned chiffons and other floaty fabrics and an increase in A-line silhouettes keep things interesting, too. For bridesmaids the trend is back to long dresses, with more and more brides allowing the women to pick the bodice design that best fits them. For the men in the bridal party suits are holding strong as an alternative to traditional tuxedos, with vests and shirtsleeves being seen as a practical option on very hot summer days.

2. Flowers: Cascade bouquets are making a comeback for brides, especially for those who want a larger, lush floral accessory. The new cascades are less structured than their ’80’s counterpart, and make a great statement coming up the aisle. The use of greenery both in bouquets and table and ceremony decor arrangements continues to grow, especially in barn venues and when going for a more natural vibe.

3. Venues: Outdoor ceremonies continue to be very popular, both at barn venues and at country clubs. Single venue weddings – where the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner and reception are all held in one place are definitely the wave of the future. Hotels offer the optimum single venue option with guest rooms available, too. And don’t forget transportation. Both for the convenience of guests and to ensure no one drives after too much celebrating, increasing numbers of couples are providing shuttles, trolleys or buses. This is thoughtful for out of town guests as well as a great safety precaution for everyone.

It’s great to consider wedding trends and to have new options and choices for all aspects of your wedding day. Just remember to make your selections based on your personalities and priorities and you’re sure to have a memorable day.

Come Visit Me at Unveiled

 in Weddings  tagged officiant / unveiled / wedding show by

Come visit me at the Unveiled wedding show at Mayo Civic Center this Sunday, October 22nd. The Wedding Guys from Minneapolis/St Paul are bringing the show here to highlight local vendors across the wedding industry. This is a great opportunity to meet vendors in person, and gather ideas on trends and options for all aspects of your wedding experience.

Some of the premier folks will be there: photographers, florists, reception venues, fashion providers, honeymoon/travel agents, caterers… and me. If you’re planning a 2018 or 2019 wedding this show is a convenient way to explore many options in one place and at one time. Even if you’ve booked some of your services already, this is a great place to check out the latest ideas, and to just get excited about your upcoming day.

Check out the show and order your tickets with the link below, and use the special offer to get a free ticket:
https://theweddingguys.com/shows/unveiled-rochester/
Buy One Ticket, Get One Free

This is the only wedding show I’ll be attending this season, so I would love to chat with you about your ceremony needs. I’ll have my calendar with me, and will be happy to schedule private consultation appointments with couples for the coming weeks. Stop by to say hi, and let’s talk ceremony.