Weddings

Three Follow-up Stories

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged children in weddings / outdoor weddings / wedding ceremonies / wedding rehearsal by

Three follow-up stories are needed to provide updates to previous blog posts based on recent experiences. Experience always speaks louder than words, so allow me to share a few recent experiences that re-enforce my thoughts on some wedding related topics.

First, on the topic of early and late season outdoor weddings. Fall came quickly to Minnesota this year. Within a two week period I presided at a 90 degree, humid mid-September ceremony and two very chilly, blustery even, late September weddings. If you are planning a “shoulder season” wedding, I encourage you to let your guests know that an outdoor ceremony is planned so they can dress appropriately. You might also consider providing blankets for your guests, if possible. There were quite a few lightly dressed, shivering guests at the late September weddings.

Next, on the topic of rehearsals – I’m a fan of them, but realize that ceremonies are not rocket science. I’ve had a few recent ceremonies where the couple opted to go without a rehearsal that I ran. These experiences reminded me of all the little things that are covered at rehearsals – what time to gather to prep for the processional, how the men should offer their arm to the women in the wedding party, a reminder to keep hands out of pockets when walking into the ceremony space, and the fine details of where people will stand and how we will move during the ceremony. Both ceremonies were lovely, but could have been a bit more polished with a rehearsal.

The last of the three follow-up stories is about children in the wedding party. Recent ceremonies planned to include children; a four year old flower girl in one, and two sign bearers, approximately age three, in the second. The flower girl had practiced walking up the aisle, was going to be following one of her uncles, and had even read a story about a flower girl with her parents before the big day. Everything seemed set for success until the moment when she was to walk up the aisle with many strangers sitting in the chairs. She balked, and her mother whisked her away. As the ceremony began they quietly took chairs and enjoyed the ceremony. In the second ceremony one of the sign bearers broke down, too, and entered the ceremony in his mother’s arms (she was a bridesmaid, so that was fine). At the front, however, he couldn’t deal with letting her join the rest of the wedding party, and a family member quickly removed him from the space altogether. These experiences remind us that the little people really do get to do as they wish, and we need to be ready to react. With plans made ahead of time, both the ceremonies continued without a problem, and the children’s needs were met, too.

As these three follow-up stories demonstrate, planning all aspects of your wedding day really pays off. Your guests are more comfortable, your wedding party is confident, and the children in your wedding party are cared for. Wedding planning is a big, complex job, but pays off when your day arrives and flows smoothly.

New Wedding Venues Discovered

 in Ceremony / Venue / Weddings  tagged ceremony space / wedding ceremonies / wedding venues / weddings by

Discovering new wedding venues is part of the fun of each wedding season. New wedding venues in southeastern Minnesota mean more options for couples planning weddings – always a good thing. This year I had the pleasure of performing ceremonies at three new venues (or at least new to me), and thought I would share them. Each venue offers both indoor and outdoor ceremony spaces, a requirement for our variable weather.

River Run Event Center, Mantorville, MN: This venue is located on the grounds of the Zumbro Valley Golf Course in nearby Mantorville. The space is managed by Victoria’s Ristorante in Rochester and offers patio space for outdoor ceremonies and a good sized indoor room for indoor ceremonies and receptions.
River Run Event Center

The Gardens of Castle Rock, Northfield, MN: This is a lovely venue on the grounds of a garden center outside of Northfield. There are multiple outdoor venues to choose from, but the only “indoor” space is a large, fully enclosed tent used for receptions. There is a large plaza area for social hour that includes outdoor fireplaces, seating groups, and bar areas. Nearby green space is available for outdoor games, too.
Gardens of Castle Rock

Cedar Creek Barn, Winona, MN: This property is fairly new as a wedding venue, and is still enhancing the property and amenities. The inside of the barn has been whitewashed to provide bright, clean walls, and the cement floor remains. No heat or air conditioning is available, but large doors at each end of the barn allow for air flow. A newly added pavilion increases usable space, but is not fully covered, so is less useful in case of inclement weather.
Cedar Creek Barn

Each of these new wedding venues has its own personality, amenities and charms and is worth your consideration as you search for the one that matches your vision for your wedding day. Refer to my earlier post on evaluating venues for tips on how to decide which might be best for you.

Changing Rules for Wedding Parties

 in Ceremony / Trends / Weddings  tagged attendants / bridesmaids / groomsmen / wedding party / wedding rules by

Changing rules for wedding parties mean lots of options and choices when selecting who will stand with you on your wedding day. The traditional rules that set wedding parties as four or five women for the bride and a corresponding number of men for the groom seem antiquated and at times inappropriate.

With same sex couples leading the way, there are no longer rules about the gender of your attendants. It’s common to see a mix of men and women standing with each of the brides or grooms, and it makes perfect sense to include the people closest to you in your party, regardless of gender. One sweet wedding I officiated had the bride’s brother standing with her, and the groom’s sister standing with him. Honoring these special sibling relationships without worrying about gender made all the sense in the world.

Wedding parties these days range from zero attendants to nearly 20. Couples seeking to simplify their wedding day opt to forego a wedding party and have parents or siblings or good friends serve as the legal witnesses and sign the marriage paperwork. This seems to be a good approach for the busy, professional couple who aren’t interested in bachelor/bachelorette parties and prefer to spend more time with each other on the wedding day. At the other extreme are the “super wedding parties” with 10 or more attendants on each side. If this is appealing to you, just remember that it is much harder to manage and direct larger groups of people, and everything takes longer – from hair and make-up sessions to photography to the logistics of moving everyone from area to area.

Changing rules for wedding parties also makes space for uneven numbers of attendants. If you have 3 close friends, and your fiance(e) has 2 siblings and 2 close friends, those are the people you should have in your wedding party. The only time it may be more obvious that the numbers are not even is during the processional and recessional at your wedding ceremony, and by mixing things up and having each attendant enter alone or including a trio along with couples, those moments can be gracefully handled, too.

The changing rules for wedding parties has also required some new language. The people who stand with you can simply be referred to as attendants rather than bridesmaids and groomsmen. In place of maid/matron of honor and best man, we now have honor attendants. As you plan your wedding, consider who the important people in your life are, and build your wedding party accordingly. All options for numbers and genders of attendants are open to you so surround yourselves with supportive people who want to make the day special for you.

Evaluating Wedding Venues

 in Ceremony / Guests / Venue / Weddings  tagged outdoor weddings / wedding ceremony / wedding venues / weddings by

Evaluating wedding venues is one of the first tasks you undertake as a newly engaged couple. When you are checking out possible venues there are many things you need to consider, and it can become overwhelming. Each venue has its own charms… and drawbacks, and you’ll want to select the one that best fits your vision for your wedding. The following list gives you a place to start.

– First you’ll want to ascertain the venue’s availability for your wedding date, or what dates they have available, if you haven’t set your date yet.

– Consider both the indoor and outdoor ceremony spaces. Even if you’re planning an outdoor ceremony, you want to ensure there is an indoor space in case of bad weather. You want the indoor space to be a true, viable alternative as the many extremely hot, wet, and cold weekends this year demonstrate.

– For outdoor ceremony spaces, check to see if power is available. Your DJ and celebrant may need it to power speakers, and you want your guests to be able to hear the ceremony.

– Ask about seating – does the venue provide chairs, hay bales, benches, or do you need to provide the seating? Does seating from the ceremony space needs to be moved to the reception space, and if so, are you responsible for moving it?

– Also for outdoor ceremony spaces, look around. Is there an obvious place for the ceremony, or just lots of open space? If open space, will you need to provide decor elements to create a focal point or backdrop for the ceremony?

– Consider the sun’s location and height at the time of year and time of day your ceremony will be held. Will your guests be staring into bright sunshine?

– When evaluating wedding venues you’ll also want to consider your guests’ comfort and accessibility. Are there restrooms, ramps, wide and stable walkways, sufficient parking?

– Does the venue require you to use specific musicians/DJs, florists, bakers, officiants, caterers, etc? Can they provide the services you want?

– And finally, remember to get information on pricing. Ask about any additional or hidden charges. You want to ensure the venue costs are within your overall budget.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed when searching for the right venue for your wedding day. Take your time, have a list of questions to ask and areas you want to see. Ask if you can take pictures so you can review them later and remember the specifics of each venue. Evaluating wedding venues can be exciting, stressful, overwhelming, and fun all at once, so go in prepared and you’ll be able to select the right venue to make your wedding day vision come true.

Children in Your Wedding Party: Tips for Success

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony / children / wedding by

Children in your wedding party can be sweet and fun, if you plan appropriately and are willing to be flexible. Children will do as they please in the moment, but following these tips will increase the chances that the reality will match your vision:

1. Select children of the right age. If you want them to walk down the aisle independently (or with another child), age 5 or older is optimal.

2. If you choose to include younger children in your wedding party, consider having them walk in with a parent who is also in the wedding party, or be escorted all the way to the front by a parent not in the party. While this may be nontraditional, it may work best.

3. Have someone the children know monitor them as the wedding party lines up, so they can be whisked away in case of a meltdown. Additionally, have a familiar face near the front that the children can walk to so it isn’t a sea of strange faces.

4. Plan for the children to sit with family members during the ceremony. Little ones standing in front during the ceremony are likely to create a distraction for the wedding party, the guests, and you if they get bored.

5. Keep the children in your wedding party on their normal eating and sleeping schedules as much as possible.

6. Take pictures that include the children as close to the ceremony time (before or after) as possible. This minimizes the amount of time you expect them to behave and follow instructions.

7. If the children in your wedding party are your own or if both their parents are in your wedding party, have a caregiver in attendance to remove the children if needed. Ideally this is not a very close family member who will be unhappy if they miss part of the ceremony. A day care provider, babysitter or grandparents (but not your parents) are all good choices.

Even if you follow all of the above tips, remember that the children really are in charge. They will decide if they walk up the aisle… or if they run or refuse to move at all. They will decide if they toss flower petals, hold the sign facing out… or drop the ring pillow to the ground. They will decide if their faces are ringed in smiles, or smudged with tears. If you choose to have children in your wedding party remember to go with the flow and be prepared to deal with the unexpected. Sometimes the unexpected makes for the most memorable moments…