Weddings

Make Choices That Reflect Who You Are

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Decor / Guests / Personalization / Trends / Weddings  tagged authentic / ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding traditions / weddings by

“Make choices that reflect who you are and what you love, and you’ll have an end result that you can feel super proud of for a long time.” That’s a quote from Allison Davis of Davis Row, a wedding planning company. I encountered that quote recently while reading an article on upcoming wedding trends for 2019. I think it is one of the most important and helpful observations for you to keep in mind when planning your wedding day.

It is so easy to get caught up in all the wedding trends articles, all the pins on Pinterest, all the internet wedding forums, and all the interesting things you’ve seen at weddings you’ve recently attended. The truth is, you can’t include every interesting thing you see. And you really wouldn’t want to. Your budget and your time will put limits on what you ultimately decide to include in your wedding day, but there is good guidance in that opening quote to help you make your decisions.

When you make choices that reflect who you are and what you love, you ensure an authentic, comfortable and unique wedding day. A personalized wedding ceremony can be a great way to kick off your celebration and share your story and your love with your guests. Selecting attire, a venue, flowers, music and even your photographer to match your style and priorities will help ensure that your personalities shine throughout the day.

Remember that you don’t have to accept hardly anything about your day as a “given”. Perhaps you don’t want to have a wedding party at all, keeping you as a couple in the spotlight. Perhaps you’re not a flower person like one bride I worked with who really wanted to carry her video gaming laser gun instead of a bouquet. Go for it! Or like a recent couple I worked with, perhaps you’re not into the whole wedding dance experience. Take a page from their book and offer board games, card games, a huge Jenga game and a couple of bean bag games to entertain your guests. In their case, they included background music to add to the party atmosphere and guests really enjoyed being able to really converse without shouting over loud music.

Whatever your personality and preferences, make choices that reflect who you are and what you love, and you’ll have a happy, comfortable, and memorable wedding day to launch your new adventure called marriage.

Choosing a Custom Ceremony Starts Your Wedding Day on a High Note

 in Celebrant / Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Personalization / Weddings  tagged custom ceremony / custom wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Choosing a custom ceremony allows you to begin your wedding day celebration on a happy, high note. You will likely start your day with hair and make-up sessions, possibly a first look photo session with your partner, and some family photos before the ceremony. But your ceremony will be the first event you share with your guests, and will set the tone for the rest of your celebration.

Working with a professional celebrant you can define the elements of your ceremony, including those that are meaningful for you and leaving out others. For example, you may want to include a reading that reflects your perspective on love or marriage. You may choose to include any children you have with a special family ritual. You may choose to write your own vows, or you may choose to select from various “repeat after me” style vows.

Perhaps you don’t want to have a parent or parents walk you into the ceremony and prefer to walk in with your partner. And if you prefer a shorter ceremony you may opt to leave out a memorial ritual honoring loved ones not with you on your wedding day and to pass on a statement of community support from your guests.

Whatever choices you make on the elements of your ceremony, your celebrant can work with you to reflect your history, your personalities, your hopes for your future, and how you feel about the commitment you are making to each other in marriage. Your thoughts, feelings and even quotes can be woven through a custom ceremony so your guests leave with a greater understanding of who you are as a couple and what you find so special in each other. They will feel connected to you and ready to move into the rest of your wedding day full of warm feelings and good cheer.

Choosing a custom ceremony requires your cooperation and collaboration with your celebrant as you let her/him get to know you, define the elements of the ceremony you want, and then review and provide feedback to achieve the wedding ceremony that uniquely reflects you and honors the commitment you are making to each other in marriage. Choosing a custom ceremony guarantees an authentic, unique start to your wedding day.

Newly Engaged Couples – Congratulations!

 in Celebrant / Engagement / Officiant / Venue / Weddings  tagged celebrant / engaged / engagement / newly engaged / officiant / venue / wedding / weddings by

To all newly engaged couples, I offer my congratulations, and welcome you to the wonderful world of wedding planning. The holiday season – from Thanksgiving through New Years – is the busiest time of the year for engagements, so you are in good company as newly engaged couples. Often upon announcing your engagement, the first question to come up is, “Do you have a date yet?” While it may seem overwhelming with so many decisions in front of you, setting your date is the right place to start.

To set your date, though, you’ll need to discuss a few things including:
– do you want to have your wedding where you live now, where one of you grew up, or maybe a destination wedding is the right choice for you? Answering this question will help you identify the city/area to focus on.
– do you have a specific time of year you want to get married? It’s best if you maintain some flexibility here as some dates will already be booked.
– do you have a particular kind of venue in mind? Maybe a barn wedding or a celebration at a winery is your dream, or perhaps you’re looking for an elegant ballroom or loft event or a simple backyard gathering.

Once you have a vision for the where, when and what your ideal wedding day looks like, you’re ready to start researching venues that meet your criteria. I can’t impress on newly engaged couples enough to jump on this level of planning immediately after you become engaged (or even before if you know a wedding is in your near future). Many popular venues book a year or more in advance, so it is never too soon to begin your search. That said, if you have some flexibility, you might still be able to book your favorite venue – maybe for a Friday or Sunday celebration if all the Saturdays are booked.

As soon as you know your wedding date and venue, it’s time to begin your next round of research and secure the following vendors for your day:
1. Celebrant or officiant
2. Photographer
3. Planner or coordinator (if you plan to hire a professional)
4. Caterer (if food in not provided by your venue)
5. Florist
6. Bridal Salon for your dress (especially if your wedding date is closer in than 9 months away)

There are a number of tools available to help newly engaged couples navigate the complex task of planning your wedding day. Make sure to check out online tools at sites like Wedding Wire or The Knot along with articles at sites like Brides and Weddingbee. There are also hard copy books, binders and specialized planners available if you prefer to use something you can literally put your hands on.

The Engagement Season is certainly upon us. I’ve been booking 2019 weddings for a number of months, but my email and phone have definitely seen increased activity in the last week. So congratulations and welcome to all newly engaged couples. I look forward to hearing from you when you’re ready to select your wedding celebrant to help you have the ceremony of your dreams.

Leaving Tradition Behind – Making Your Wedding Day Fit You

 in Personalization / Trends / Weddings  tagged bouquet toss / first look / garter toss / wedding tradition / wedding traditions / weddings by

Leaving tradition behind on your wedding day allows you to plan a day that fits you as individuals and a couple. While traditions are wonderful… if they are meaningful for you and consistent with who you are, they can also cause stress and get in the way. Couples are choosing to keep those traditions they appreciate and letting go of those they don’t.

There are many wedding traditions you’ll want to thoughtfully consider before including them in your wedding day. I’ve written before about traditions related specifically to the ceremony, and you can find my thoughts on new options for wedding parties and modifying traditions when a parent is not at your wedding. There are, however, wedding traditions outside the actual ceremony that you will also want to evaluate.

For many practical reasons some couples are choosing to see each other for the first time before their ceremony. If you’re willing to break this tradition you can have a private “first look” moment and savor the beginning of your day together (and have it captured by your photographer, too). If you go this route wedding party and family pictures can also be taken before the ceremony, giving you more time to celebrate with your guests afterward.

Wedding receptions offer lots of traditions that are feeling more outdated with each passing year. The garter and bouquet toss rituals can be awkward for you and your guests, and can easily be left out of your reception schedule. The entire dance aspect of your reception can be replaced with a professional performance that fits your hobbies, culture, or wedding theme. A variety of games and activities can be offered for guests who choose to participate. And simply leaving time for conversation for the family and friends who may not often see each other can be very much appreciated.

You’ll find more tips from brides regarding things you do and do not need to do at your wedding here. You’re likely to have more fun and less stress if you remove or change traditions that you’re uncomfortable with. Leaving tradition behind when it doesn’t fit your personality or style is one more way to create a unique wedding day that truly reflects who you are.

Popping the Question – From Simple to Elaborate

 in Weddings  tagged proposal moment / proposals / wedding proposal / weddings by

Popping the question, also known as the proposal moment, is a memorable moment for most couples. Proposals range from incredibly elaborate to very romantic, to simply sweet reflecting the individuality of the person proposing and of the couple themselves. Over nearly a decade of working with couples I’ve heard hundreds of proposal stories, and can tell you that even when meticulously planned, they sometimes don’t go as planned.

Here are a few proposal stories that have been shared with me through the years, ranging in complexity from elaborate to non-existent:

1. A trip to Paris is always memorable, but add in a stop on an historic bridge near sunrise, with a photographer discretely capturing the scene. The prospective groom drops to one knee and offers a beautiful ring to his love. Her “Yes” completes the fairy tale moment, and it came off without a hitch.

2. The getaway weekend planned to a regional spot with plans for a specific moment and location for the proposal moment. Yet, when they arrived, the proposer couldn’t wait any longer, and popped the question as soon as they arrived. I’ve heard variations on this story many times and tend to agree that it’s more fun to spend the weekend celebrating together rather than being nervous while waiting for “the moment” to arrive.

3. A winter camping trip planned to enjoy the love of nature and camping that the couple shares. However, the weather didn’t cooperate with temperatures dropping into dangerous territory curtailing the weekend and leading to a shivering proposal on the hike back to warmth and civilization. Not exactly what was planned, but it certainly is a story that will be shared for years to come.

4. A simple, at home proposal, maybe with the assistance of beloved pets. These have happened in the kitchen while preparing dinner, in the living room while gaming, and even in the dark in the basement. Whatever makes sense for you makes for the perfect proposal moment.

5. And last but not least, not popping the question at all. For some couples there is a natural progression from “If I ever get married…”, to “If we ever get married…”, to “When we get married…” that kind of removes the need for an actual proposal moment. These couples often ring shop together and enjoy the non-proposal experience.

So if popping the question is in your future – either as the popper or the popee, know that there are all kinds of proposal moments, and that sometimes they don’t go as planned. The important thing is that you’ve found the right person to share your life with and you’ve decided to celebrate your commitment with marriage. As we enter the “engagement season” I offer encouragement to everyone popping the question around the holidays, and hope you experience the proposal moment that is perfect for you.