Weddings

Modern Wedding Parties, Leaving Tradition Behind

 in Wedding Party / Weddings  tagged attendants / modern wedding parties / wedding / wedding parties / wedding party by

Modern wedding parties can look very different than your parents’ wedding parties. Couples are leaving tradition behind as they seek to surround themselves with the people most important to them on their wedding day. Same sex couples have taken the lead in redefining the rules for wedding parties, and everyone is benefiting.

Traditionally, the bride had a number of female friends and/or relatives stand with her as bridesmaids, and the groom had an equal number of men stand with him. These days couples are more concerned with having the most significant people in their lives share in the wedding day as attendants. Gender no longer matters, so if a bride has one sibling who happens to be a brother, he can serve as her honor attendant or man of honor. Similarly, a groom can have his sister stand with him as his honor attendant or best woman.

Another tradition that is being left behind is the idea that the couple must have the same number of attendants standing with them. If one partner has 3 “besties” and the other partner has 2… or 4, it’s fine. Attendants can enter singly or as trios, or as combinations of pairs and trios. Two men or two women can enter together by simply walking next to each other (no need to link arms or have one escort the other).

With the traditions falling away and modern wedding parties becoming more eclectic, you may need to decide how you want your attendants to dress. Do women standing up for a groom wear a tux, a matching bridesmaid’s dress, or possibly a dress in the color of the tuxes or suits that male attendants for the groom are wearing? And conversely, do men standing up for the bride wear attire to match the groomsmen (possibly with a tie and pocket square to match the bridesmaids’ dresses), or possibly a suit or tux to match the bridesmaids’ dresses if possible – think navy blue or cream?

As a couple, you have free rein to select the people you wish to have join you as your wedding party. You can decide with them what you want them to wear. Your celebrant can help you figure out the logistics for the processional and recessional. The important thing is to have the special people in your life closest to you during the ceremony and reception as you celebrate your special love.

Backup Ceremony Venue: An Important Part of Your Wedding Plans

 in Ceremony / Venue / Weddings  tagged bad weather venue / wedding ceremony / wedding venue / wedding venues by

Selecting a backup ceremony venue in case of bad weather is an important part of your wedding plans. No matter how meticulously you plan each aspect of your wedding day, the weather is out of your control. By selecting an appropriate backup venue you remove a significant unknown and reduce your stress.

If you are planning an outdoor ceremony, having a backup ceremony venue and plan is absolutely essential in Minnesota. Our weather is so variable that you can encounter snow in May, severe storms throughout the summer, and chill winds by September. But if you’ve identified a good backup ceremony venue you can approach your wedding day confident that you’ll have a beautiful, memorable day regardless of the weather.

So what are the characteristics of a good back up ceremony venue? Ideally, it will be in the same location as your outdoor ceremony venue. This allows your guests to arrive at the same location regardless of weather. If this is not possible, you’ll need to have a very detailed communication plan to let your guests know which venue to go to on the wedding day. Make sure that you have other people prepared to execute the communication plan as you and your wedding party will be busy with other activities before the ceremony.

Your backup ceremony venue also needs to be a place that you can envision using for your ceremony. Make sure you know where you will enter from, where the chairs will be set up, what the lighting is like, and if it is air conditioned or heated as needed. Consider accessibility for your guests, and think about what pictures will look like in this space.

With plans in place for your backup ceremony venue, a final consideration will be when you need to make the final decision on an inside or outside ceremony. Some venues require 24 or even 48 hours notice to prepare the ceremony venue, while others are more flexible. Remember, too, that you may need to notify all guests of the location change, so leave time to put your communication plan into effect. A last suggestion – once you make the call to move inside, don’t second guess yourself. Embrace the idea, knowing you selected an indoor venue you can be happy with, and move forward to enjoy your wedding day to the fullest. You’re marrying the love of your life, and everything else is less important.

Three Reasons to Hire a Professional Officiant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Trends / Weddings  tagged officiant / professionals / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant / wedding professionals / weddings by

There are many more than three reasons to hire a professional officiant for your wedding ceremony, but there are three that I hear most often. As both a trained and certified Life Cycle Celebrant (R), and an endorsed Humanist Celebrant for a decade I’d had the opportunity to hear many horror stories from people who have seen poor wedding ceremonies. One of the most common causes for complaint is an unprepared family member or friend acting as the officiant. Here’s what couples have shared with me:

First, when I meet with couples for an initial consultation (a no cost, no obligation meeting) I’ve heard many times that they had never considered some of the topics I raise. For example, they haven’t thought about the logistics of the processional: who will walk in the processional, in what order, etc? They haven’t considered the possible elements of their ceremony – readings, rituals, guest involvement options, and more. They haven’t thought about where and how they will greet their guests following the ceremony. By engaging with a professional officiant all these topics will be discussed and your wishes will be honored.

Second, most couples in our area opt to have a rehearsal. As an experienced professional I can run your rehearsal in an efficient and effective manner. I can get and hold the attention of your wedding party, provide tips to help make everyone look sharp for the ceremony, and make sure that all the important points are covered. I’ve heard many times from couples, parents and attendants that the rehearsal reduced their stress and uncertainty so they could relax and enjoy the actual ceremony experience.

And third, professional officiants can prepare and preside over your ceremony in a way that is memorable for all the right reasons. The ceremony will be written well in advance, and you will have seen and approved it. The ceremony will follow a logical sequence and an emotional arc that leaves your guests satisfied and ready to move on to the rest of the celebration. Your officiant will offer the ceremony with professional vocal skills to ensure clarity and engage your guests.

These are just three reasons to hire a professional officiant based on my personal experience. You can find another perspective on this topic in an article from The Knot, here.

There is a trend toward having a friend or family member prepare and offer your wedding ceremony, but there are many possible pitfalls with that approach. Sometimes it works out well, but too often the ceremony is poorly written and presented, and opportunities for truly memorable moments are missed. Even a well-paid professional officiant accounts for a small percentage of your overall wedding budget, but will provide a great first act for your wedding day festivities.

Personalizing Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Music / Readings / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / ceremony readings / personalized wedding / unity ritual / wedding vows / weddings by

Personalizing your wedding ceremony is a favorite catch phrase these days, but what does it really mean? Wedding ceremonies are full of traditions and can feel formulaic – seen one, you’ve seen them all. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Especially if you are planning a ceremony outside of a religious community the options are nearly endless.

Here are some ideas of ways to personalize your wedding ceremony:

  • Choose music that is meaningful to you. Country music, a single violin, guitar or harp, a movie theme or a classic rock’n’roll song can all be perfect if they are perfect for you.
  • Enter the ceremony space in an authentic way. Perhaps you’ll choose to walk in alone, with your parents, with your children, with your partner, or with your extended family. It all works, as long as they are the people you want to surround you at this moment.
  • Select a reading (poetry or prose) that reflects you as a couple or speaks to you in some way. Adding a reading that doesn’t resonate with you in some way is wasting time.
  • Write your own vows. The promises you make to each other on your wedding day are the most important words of the day, so make sure that reflect what is in your heart.
  • Consider unity ritual options beyond a unity candle or sand ceremony. There are a number of rituals with lovely symbolism, so take the time to explore the possibilities. And as with readings, if it doesn’t speak to you, consider passing on a unity ritual altogether.
  • Especially if you are having a smaller number of guests, look for meaningful ways to include them in your ceremony.
  • Include the important people in your life in your ceremony. Yes, it’s all about the two of you, but having significant people participate will make it special and memorable for you.

Personalizing your wedding ceremony isn’t difficult, but it takes some additional time and effort. An experienced, trained wedding celebrant can help you unpack these ideas, offer options and suggestions of her own and write custom elements and rituals to make your ceremony truly unique. Enjoy the process of personalizing your ceremony and treasure the memories for a lifetime.

Outdoor Wedding Season Arrives

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged outdoor wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Outdoor wedding season arrives once more in Minnesota with the warm weather, green grass, and soft breezes. If you’re planning an outdoor ceremony there are a number of things to consider and plan for.

Outdoor Wedding Season – Plummer House
  1. Seating is not usually an issue if you are working with golf club or similar venue, but if your ceremony will take place in a park or in your yard for example, you’ll want to make arrangements for seating for your guests. Rental chairs are commonly available, but make sure you understand if delivery, set-up, take down and chair return are included in the quoted costs, or if you’ll need to make arrangements for all those tasks.
  2. An idyllic ceremony setting can be disrupted by pesky bugs. Understand what services the venue provides to control bugs, and what you are allowed to do. Consider having bug repellent and fans available for guests if there is no other way to control the bugs in the area.
  3. Outdoor ceremony venues can be challenging from a sound perspective. First of all, you’ll want to determine if there is electrical service at the ceremony site. You’ll also want to plan for adequate sound equipment for musicians/DJs as well as all ceremony speakers. If your guests have made the effort to be with you on your wedding day you want them to be able to hear all the festivities.
  4. After cold, dark winters we are always happy to see the sun. But it is possible to have too much of a good thing. Consider the placement of the sun at ceremony time. Will your guests or wedding party be looking directly into the sun? Is it possible to rotate the set-up of the ceremony space to remove that problem? And too much sun can also cause heat related health issues for you and your guests. You may want to consider the length of the ceremony, some way to provide shade for everyone, and cold water to keep people hydrated.
  5. We always hope for pleasant, sunny days throughout the outdoor wedding season, but know that Minnesota’s variable weather doesn’t always provide that. So you will need to identify an alternate ceremony venue in case of inclement weather. Rain, storms, strong winds and extreme temperatures can all require a move indoors. If you have a comprehensive bad weather plan established you can approach your wedding day hoping for ideal weather but confident that you’re ready to deal with any weather conditions.

While we welcome the opportunity to step outside for ceremonies, the outdoor wedding season requires thoughtful preparation. With some planning you can ensure that your day is as comfortable as possible for you and your guests. Here’s hoping for many pleasant spring, summer and fall weekends for everyone planning outdoor ceremonies this year.