Weddings

Unexpected Ceremony Venues

December 11, 2019 in Venue / Weddings tagged creative venues / creative weddings / wedding / wedding venues by Kathy

Unexpected ceremony venues can give your wedding day an extra bit of sparkle and interest. Staging your day at a location that speaks to you as a couple is a great way to personalize the entire wedding experience. Looking outside the box when it comes to wedding venues takes a little creative thinking, but can really pay off.

Are you craft beer enthusiasts? Contact local craft breweries to see if they can host your wedding. Locally, Forager has a garden and private rooms that can accommodate smaller, intimate groups. Maybe wine is your thing. We have a number of wineries in southeastern Minnesota that host weddings, including Four Daughters in Spring Valley, Chankaska Ranch and Winery in Mankato, and Cannon River winery.

Like being in the spotlight? Or maybe you’re an amateur thespian. Check out the rental options at Rochester Civic Theatre and you can be the star of your own show. This couple shared their first date at this very spot and love all things theater, so it was their perfect wedding venue.

Campgrounds may be one of the most unexpected ceremony venues I’ve encountered, but it worked perfectly for this couple. They loved to camp, and knew of a picturesque state park where they could reserve a large campsite complete with cabins for their guests. Everyone was invited to stay overnight and keep the celebration going.

Other unexpected ceremony venues to consider are museums and libraries where your guests can be entertained before or after the ceremony. For example, a science museum wedding was the perfect venue for an couple of engineers and their guests. The opportunity to rent an entire B&B or small resort offers a private space and housing for your guests traveling in from out of town.

While traditional wedding venues offer many amenities and can help make your day go smoothly, consider unexpected wedding venues as a way to put a unique stamp on your wedding day.

The Optimal Engagement: How Long Should It Be?

December 4, 2019 in Engagement / Weddings tagged engagement length / length of engagement / officiant / optimal engagement / wedding venues by Kathy

The optimal engagement length will vary based on many factors. It’s a good idea to begin your wedding planning with an open mind and lots of flexibility. Your venue(s) are likely to be the thing that determines how long your engagement will be as many of them book far in advance. But there are ways to plan your wedding in only a few months if that’s what you want or need to do.

Highly favored wedding venues for both your ceremony and reception are likely to be booked far in advance if you are looking for a popular month in your area. Here in Minnesota we’re seeing a shift from May and June as the most popular wedding months to September and October. So if you want a fall Saturday at an in-demand venue like the Mayowood Stone Barn, you may be scheduling a year or even two years in advance. If you are willing to consider a wedding between November and April you’ll have more venues and dates to choose from.

Friday and Sunday dates, even during peak months, may also provide you with more options and shorter lead times. You may even benefit from reduced prices on these days, although that is by no means certain. When choosing the day for your wedding you’ll want to make sure that the most important people on your guest list are available to share in your special day.

Flexibility is key in the selection of your venue(s), too. Depending on the size and formality of your wedding, you might consider places like Plummer House, Studio 324, or even local restaurants or backyards. Thinking outside the box, especially if you have a smaller guest list, can open up some lovely and interesting options.

Other vendors that you will want to book early are your photographer, musicians and officiant. Especially if you want the people with the best reputations and experience you’ll find that calendars book early. Again, you’ll find more availability on non-Saturday dates in late fall and winter months. Finding a date that works for you, your key guests, and your key vendors will allow you to settle on your wedding date and move forward with your planning.

The optimal engagement length also provides time for you and your fiance(e) to continue to grow your relationship. This is a time to consider how well matched you are for the long term so you can walk down the aisle confident that you are marrying the right person. If I had to pick the optimal engagement length that allows you to do this important work, along with all the tasks associated with planning a significant wedding event, I would choose around a year.

If you don’t have that much time for whatever reason, remember that you can be married in a simple ceremony, surrounded by a few important family and friends, in a much shorter time. I’ve even performed the simplest of weddings on the same day I was contacted by a couple. So begin your wedding planning as soon as you’re engaged. Decide what is important to you in a wedding, and that will determine the optimal engagement for you.

Including Grandparents in Your Wedding

November 27, 2019 in Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Weddings tagged grandparent memorial / grandparents / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding processional / wedding readings by Kathy

Including grandparents in your wedding is a great way to honor your family heritage and to express appreciation to these special people in your life. There are some things to consider, though, when planning for their participation in your wedding.

First, you’ll want to treat all the grandparents who are able to attend your ceremony the same. For example, if it is important to you to have a particular set of grandparents included in your processional, then all grandparents should be included. When deciding whether or not to have your grandparents walk in as part of the processional, you’ll want to consider their preferences, their health and mobility, the venue, and the size of your wedding party.

It’s good to talk to your grandparents about the possibility of walking in the processional, so you learn if they would prefer to stay out of the spotlight or are happy to participate. One reason they may choose not to participate is if their health is fragile or mobility is an issue for them.

Look, too, at the venue. Will you be asking your elders to walk over rocky or uneven ground or walk a significant distance? If so, they may opt out. Finally, look at the size of your wedding party and the length of the processional with and without the grandparents. If you have 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, two ring bearers, three flower girls and a variety of parents and step-parents who will all need to walk in, along with the two of you, before the ceremony can begin, you might opt to leave the grandparents out of the processional.

If you decide not to have the grandparents walk in the formal processional, you’ll still want to have reserved seating for them up front. Don’t forget to let them know about it, too, so they can look for it or tell an usher who will seat them appropriately.

Another great way of including grandparents in your wedding is to have them offer a reading. If you’re fortunate enough to have a set of grandparents who have been married for a long time, perhaps they could share a reading on love or marriage. Guaranteed to not have a dry eye in the group.

But what if your grandparents aren’t able to attend because of health, distance, or because they have died? There are still ways of including your grandparents in your wedding in these situations.

You may place a table at the back of the ceremony venue with their pictures and a message like, “In loving memory…Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved and missed, so very dear.” You can include memorial wording in your ceremony or in your program. Or you can include wedding pictures of your parents and grandparents on a special table near your cake in the reception space. All are great ways to remember these wonderful people who played a part in making you the person you are on your wedding day.

Thoughtfully including grandparents in your wedding will add depth and meaning to your day for you and for your guests. It’s a great way to celebrate those who are able to be with you, and to remember those who are not.

Receiving Line or Alternatives

November 20, 2019 in Ceremony / Guests / Weddings tagged receiving line / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by Kathy

A receiving line is the traditional way for you to greet your guests immediately following your wedding ceremony. But you have alternatives, choices and modifications available to you today. A traditional receiving line involves you, your parents and your wedding party lined up at the back of your ceremony venue to greet and receive the congratulations of your guests. It serves the purpose of ensuring that you have at least a moment to speak directly with each of your guests. Depending on the size of your guest list it can be tricky to ensure that you connect with absolutely everyone during the less formal parts of your wedding day, but some people find the traditional receiving line to be artificial, uncomfortable and slow.

If you like the concept of a receiving line for the benefit of connecting with everyone, you can move things along and simplify the experience by having only you two and your parents form the line. This relieves your attendants of the awkward moment of making small talk with many strangers (as they likely don’t know many of your guests). Make the experience even more personal (and the line move even more quickly) by limiting it to only you and your new spouse. Your parents and attendants can circulate among your guests, help people find the social hour venue, and generally get the party started.

Especially if you have a smaller number of guests, say 100 or fewer, you may want to eliminate the receiving line altogether. In this case, you will need to make a concerted effort to speak with each guest during the festivities following the ceremony. As hosts of the event, you will want to thank them for coming to share in your special day. As the focal point of the day, your guests will want at least a moment to express their best wishes to you. One way to ensure you speak with everyone is to make the rounds while your guests are seated for dinner. If you’re having a “stand up” reception or if you think you can keep track of everyone during informal moments like the social hour, you can chat with people then, too.

It’s a great idea to consider all wedding traditions and then decide which of them you wish to include in your wedding day. It’s fine to have a receiving line if it makes your day easier, or to opt for a less formal way to engage with your guests. Whatever you choose, you’ll want to touch base with all your guests to celebrate with the people who came to share your special day.

Meaningful Rituals: Your Wedding Ceremony, Part 3

November 6, 2019 in Ceremony / Guests / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings tagged personalized rituals / personalized wedding / unity ritual / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding rituals / weddings by Kathy

Meaningful rituals can raise your wedding ceremony from interesting to truly memorable. Over the last two weeks we’ve talked about ways to make your ceremony uniquely yours by starting with the basics and using thoughtful choices of music and readings to reflect your personalities and interests. Choosing to include meaningful rituals is yet another way to make your ceremony your own.

Ring Warming, courtesy of Midwest Life Shots

Starting early in your ceremony, a ring warming ritual can bring your guests into the ceremony in a real way. Sending your rings among your guests to be imbued with their love and best wishes for you, this ritual happens in parallel as your ceremony continues. Or later in the ceremony, having your guests imbue pebbles with their wishes can create a memento of your ceremony.

Unity rituals that celebrate your exchange of vows are common these days, but the ritual itself doesn’t have to be. Love letters, tree plantings, handfastings, and flower blendings are all newer, interesting rituals with lovely symbolism. If your a traditionalist a candle lighting or sand blending can be made special and personal with add-ons and personal wording, too.

The absolute most meaningful rituals are those created expressly for you. Working with your celebrant you can celebrate your heritage, honor a special moment from your courtship, or share a part of your life through a custom written unity ritual. Examples I’ve written for couples include ice cream sharing, Turkish tea brewing, cairn creation, and whiskey sharing. In each case we were able to share something significant about the couple as part of the ritual, letting the guests know them a little better and creating a memorable moment.

Investing yourselves to collaborate with your celebrant you can define the outline of your ceremony, including those elements that are meaningful to you. You can share your personalities through selecting music and readings that you love or that represent your feelings toward each other. And you can select or create meaningful rituals to draw your guests into your ceremony and celebrate your love and commitment as a couple in a memorable way.

As 2020 couples begin to engage with celebrants to craft ceremonies you are limited only by the creativity of you and your celebrant. Have fun as you make your ceremonies uniquely your own.

Creating your ceremony