Wedding planning


Small Medium or Large?

Does a small, medium or large wedding party best fit your wedding day vision? There is no right or wrong answer. But there are many considerations in choosing the size of your wedding party. The topic deserves careful review and discussion early in your planning process.

A large wedding party, five or more sets of attendants can be a party within the party of your wedding day. You’ll be surrounded by a larger group of people who are important to you. Ideally, more hands make for lighter work. They can all share the many tasks involved in planning for your wedding day. Even on the day itself there are many details that need tending to, and these folks can take some of the load off you and your families.

However, larger wedding parties also have some down sides. They are harder to keep focused. You’ll spend more time tracking down the missing attendant for pictures, for the grand march, and more. Large wedding parties are also more expensive. The cost of gifts for 10 or more will add up. If you’re considering covering the cost of make-up and hair styling for your party, the cost can be significant. If you’re looking to provide transportation for the wedding party you’ll need more cars or a larger van or bus.

For some couples, a small wedding party, zero to 2 sets of attendants, is the right answer. This option reverses the pros and cons noted above. It also provides a more intimate and streamlined experience. Small wedding parties allow the focus to stay on you as a couple. They are often perfect for shy or introverted couples, and for second or subsequent weddings. If you’re opting for an intimate wedding experience with a smaller guest list, a small wedding party is a great way to begin.

A medium sized wedding party is defined as three to five attendants for each of you. It is the most common size for wedding parties, and can be ideal if you are looking to minimize the cost and complexities while maximizing the support and fun considerations.

When choosing the size of your wedding party – small, medium or large, remember that it is no longer necessary to have the same number of attendants for each of you. You can each also select your attendants regardless of gender. Creative planning for your wedding party allows anything to work. Surround yourselves with the people most important to you, but consider how your wedding party – be it small, medium or large – fits into the vision you have for your wedding day.


Special Seating at Weddings

Special seating at weddings is usually provided for the parents and grandparents of the couple, and possibly other close family members. These seats are at the front of the ceremony space to provide the best view of the couple and the ceremony. There are a few things to consider when planning for special seating.

  1. Who do you want to have special seating for at your wedding?
    As mentioned, you’ll want to have places for parents and grandparents at a minimum. If your parents are divorced, you’ll want to make sure their new partners (if any) are seated with them. If you have siblings who are not in the wedding party, you’ll also want them to be up front in reserved spaces.

Other people you may choose to provide special seating for include: spouses/partners of members of your wedding party, godparents, and those who will offer readings during the ceremony. Make sure to allow space for escorts/partners for any of these people. Importantly, you’ll want to have a parent of any flower girls or ring bearers seated up front, along with a chair for the children to sit in during the ceremony.

How will these important people know where to sit?
Ushers can be a great help with guiding these people to the places you’ve allocated for them. Providing a list to the ushers can be helpful here, and ideally the ushers will be able to recognize these special guests. It’s also very helpful for people to be contacted ahead of time to let them know that spaces will be reserved for them and invite them to ask the ushers for assistance. The advance notification can be a task delegated to the moms, dads or siblings.

If you don’t have ushers, you’ll want to place “Reserved” signs on each row near the front, at a minimum. Consider actual seat assignments with name tags on the chairs if many people are involved, or if you’re concerned that your guests may not understand wedding etiquette. Just be careful not to use markers that will transfer to clothing if guests will be sitting or leaning against them.

  1. How will others know to avoid the special seating?
    This is what the “Reserved” signs are for, but recent experiences tell me that sometimes that isn’t enough. In one case, an aunt and grandfather sat in the seats in the front row normally reserved for the groom’s parents. They had to be asked repeatedly (and forcefully) to vacate the seats so the parents would have a place to sit after entering in the processional. In the second case, a stepfather who was seated before the processional began made it nearly impossible for the groom’s father to sit on the aisle as had been rehearsed. The stepfather had to be asked to move down the row as the processional was beginning. Thankfully, he moved and the situation was handled discretely, and no one was aware.

Special seating at weddings can be a bit tricky to coordinate, but is worth the time and effort. You want the very special people in your world to be treated warmly and respectfully. You want other guests to know where, and where not, to sit without feeling uncomfortable. And you want everyone ready to celebrate with you as the music starts, the wedding party enters, and your ceremony begins!


Bad Weather Backup Plans – A Wedding Essential

Bad weather backup plans are essential for Minnesota weddings. The variability of our weather makes an indoor ceremony plan necessary for anyone planning an outdoor ceremony.

Most people think of rain as the weather problem requiring a move to an indoor ceremony space, but our current hot weather demonstrates that there are more weather conditions to consider. Extreme heat is uncomfortable for everyone, but can be deadly for senior citizens like grandparents, and for guests with underlying health conditions. And don’t forget about yourselves and your wedding party. Tuxedos and suits are not normal daily wear for many of the men in your wedding party, and long dresses made of synthetic fabrics can cause your women to melt in the heat. Hair and makeup is not going to be optimal following photo sessions before the ceremony. Who wants to look wilted on their wedding day?

Over the years I’ve encountered other weather conditions that wreak havoc with outdoor ceremonies, too. The Rochester area is known to often be breezy, but there are many days when winds top 25 miles per hour. If it is a temperate day this might not be a problem, but consider a 50 degree late September day when the wind has a definite bite to it. Not pleasant conditions for guests or the wedding party. And the same can be true of early spring ceremonies.

Given the variety of weather we experience here in Minnesota, well considered bad weather backup plans are needed to address this critical but uncontrollable element of your wedding day. Knowing that there is a viable indoor space available, ideally at the same venue as your outdoor ceremony space, will allow for a graceful shift in plans if the weather requires it.

No one wants to consider that weather will adversely impact their ceremony plans, but the reality is that it can and too often does. Having bad weather backup plans in your back pocket can save the day and keep the celebration on track.


Four Wedding Trends for 2021

Four wedding trends for 2021 are influencing couples planning their marriages this year. The pandemic continues to drive changes to what is possible and what is safe. We can’t know when we will return to some sort of “normal” where weddings are concerned, but couples will certainly be influenced by these four wedding trends this year.

  1. Shorter planning cycles. States are frequently changing the number of people who can gather based on current COVID numbers and spikes. Couples are choosing to schedule, plan, invite guests, and hold their weddings within a few weeks to months. This in turn drives the next trend.
  2. Smaller guest lists. Smaller weddings can be planned more quickly and held more safely, both considerations in 2021. Some couples are choosing to have only very close family and friends. Others are focusing on local friends and family so guests don’t have to incur the risks involved in airports, airplanes and hotels. There is an upside to more intimate weddings as couples are able to include guests in meaningful ways in the ceremony and throughout the day.
  3. More intentionality in the wedding day. Couples who have delayed or postponed weddings from last year will tend to be more thoughtful about what is truly important to about the day. They might have fewer people in attendance, but will want something special and memorable. Choices around the ceremony, dinner and reception may all be customized for your day.
  4. Weekdays. 2021 will likely host many weddings postponed from last year, along with the events for newly engaged couples. This will put a strain on venues and other wedding vendors. Venue availability in particular will drive couples to get creative and consider weekdays for their weddings.

These four wedding trends for 2021 relate to each other and are all driven by the pandemic we’re living through. If you’re planning, or re-planning a wedding for this year you’ll likely feel the impact of some or most of these. But there are upsides to each of these trends, too. Ultimately the weddings of 2021 will be special and unique because each couple is.


Now Your Journey Begins

Now your journey begins. Congratulations! If you became engaged during the 2020 holiday season, the journey to your wedding day is just beginning. No doubt, one of the most frequently asked questions you’ve received as you shared your happy news is, “Have you set a date yet?” Setting your wedding date is indeed one of the first things you’ll want to do, but it hinges primarily on your venue’s availability.

Pretty autumn venue

Once you’ve located a venue that you really like, availability of that space will largely define your choice of wedding dates. With date and venue known, it’s time to start locking in other vendors. If you have certain vendors you want to work with, you’ll want to speak with them early in your planning process. Be aware, too, that there are more photographers and DJs, for example, than celebrants and string quartets around. So prioritize speaking with in demand vendors or those with limited supply.

The complexity of wedding planning can be overwhelming, so finding wedding planner software or a physical planning binder can be helpful. Be aware, though, that the timeframe guidelines listed in these tools may not be accurate for our region. The sooner you can lock down the services and people you want to support you on your wedding day the better.

Sweet ceremony moments
Ring Exchange

Your journey begins with reaching out to many people you do not know, to secure services you may not be familiar with. This can be intimidating until you realize that the people you’ll engage with are each expert in their fields. Feel free to contact them and ask them to guide you through what you need to know. We understand that many couples are planning weddings for the first time, and don’t really know where to start. An initial email or phone call will get the ball rolling. Once you have your wedding date and venue, you have the key information most vendors will need to have before they can tell you if they are available to consider working with you.

If you’re newly engaged enjoy the moment! Take a bit of time to share your happy news with family and friends. Now your journey begins as you jump into wedding planning. Throughout the process remember the reason you’re doing it – you’ve found the love of your life and want to move forward in marriage. With that as the guiding force behind all your plans you’re sure to have a wonderful wedding day that you’ll remember forever. Again, congratulations, and I hope to hear from you when you’re ready to plan to ceremony.

Note: Due to COVID-19, Kathy is booking custom ceremonies only for dates after June 30, 2021. She is available for simple certificate signings until then.