Wedding planning

Making Space

 in Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning  tagged ceremony planning / ceremony space / wedding ceremony / wedding planning by

Making space at your ceremony venue for all ceremony activities is an important part of your wedding planning. If you are having an outdoor ceremony, or an indoor ceremony where the front of the space is not well defined, you’ll want to plan for how much space you’ll need.

You want space at the front of your ceremony venue to gracefully accommodate you, your celebrant, and your wedding party. But you also need to allocate space for your reader to stand. You may also need a table for any ritual props. Don’t forget to save space for anyone else who is participating in the ceremony. This could be children helping with a family ritual, or parents (or others) helping with a handfasting or other ritual. If you are having floral arrangements, arches, or other decor, space will need to be planned for that, too.

As you consider all this, you’ll realize there may be a lot of people and things that need to be in the ceremony space. If you don’t have enough space you increase the chances of people tripping, dresses being crushed, or decor being tipped. And your photos of the ceremony may show cramped wedding parties or awkward positioning.

Make sure you place the chairs for your guests far enough back to provide the space you need. But don’t let them drift so far back that they feel disconnected from what’s happening. This is where a rehearsal can be very helpful. When you get your entire wedding party, you two, and your celebrant up in front, you’ll get a real feel for the space. At that time you can consider placement for your decor, ceremony props and guest chairs. Walking through the ceremony at rehearsal allows you to choose where a reader stands, where to place a ritual table, and how everyone will move in the space. Making space for everything and everyone becomes more real at a rehearsal and will help the actual ceremony run smoothly.

Including Children in Your Ceremony

 in Blended family / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged blended family / children in weddings / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Including children in your ceremony is a lovely idea, but must be done with care. Your children from a previous relationship become part of a new blended family when you marry. While you are excited and positive about this new phase of your life, they may have very mixed feelings.

Depending on the situation, your children may view your fiance(e) as an interloper. They may feel that your attention is now divided, and they may be resentful. Maybe they haven’t had enough time to really know this new person yet. They may feel loyalty to their other parent.

If your new fiance(e) also has children, the situation is more complex. In addition to becoming acquainted with a new step-parent to be, they will need to build relationships with new step-siblings. Simple things like sharing rooms, and having more activity and people around the house can create stress.

Understanding your children’s feelings about your upcoming marriage is critical when planning your wedding ceremony. Plan to have a chat with them about it during a quiet, private time. Ask about their feelings. Ask about their concerns. Don’t try to “fix” their feelings, but understand and accept them. It’s helpful to give your children options regarding their level of involvement in the ceremony.

Perhaps they would be most comfortable simply sitting with grandparents. Maybe they want to hand out programs to guests as they enter the ceremony space. They might be interested in walking you down the aisle. And maybe they even want to participate in some kind of family ritual during the ceremony.

Family Sand

All of these are options. Notice, however, that none of them involve the children speaking during the ceremony. Especially if the children are teenagers or younger, I recommend not asking them to speak. You can make promises to them if you wish. Perhaps they want to join in a family sand blending ritual. Or maybe they even want to stand up as a junior bridesmaid or groomsman. But having a child speak in front of your guests can be very stressful for them. They may be experiencing conflicting or uncertain emotions at the actual ceremony. Allow them the space they need to process the significance of your marriage.

If they are interested in participating, including children in your ceremony can provide memorable moments and great photos. But you’ll want to avoid trauma and stress if your children aren’t interested in joining in. You’ll have lots of time after the wedding day for your children to become more comfortable with the situation. Keep their thoughts and concerns front of mind while planning your special day.

Engaging Wedding Celebrants

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Officiant / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning  tagged celebrant / officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding officiant / wedding planning by

Engaging wedding celebrants can be a bit daunting for a newly engaged couple. It is an important part of planning your wedding day, though, so don’t delay due to nerves. There is a simple process you can follow that will help you decide when you’ve found the wedding celebrant that’s right for you.

Before you reach out to potential celebrants, you’ll need two key pieces of information: your ceremony venue and wedding date. These will be necessary for any celebrant to tell you if they are available on your date, and if they serve your location/venue. Armed with the date and venue, you’re ready to begin your search.

If you’ve been to a wedding where you really enjoyed the ceremony, or if you know people who have recently married that’s a great place to start. Talk to those couples and ask for reviews, referrals and contact information. If you’re starting from scratch, try an online search. Use “wedding officiant ” for example. Note that I suggest using “officiant” instead of “celebrant” for this search. That’s because celebrant is a more specialized term and you’ll find more possibilities using the term officiant. Spend some time reading celebrant websites to learn more about the services they offer. Some will likely appeal to you more than others.

Now it’s time to begin engaging wedding celebrants you’re drawn to. An email or phone call is probably the best place to start. Provide the date and venue information and ask if they are available. It’s helpful for you to include information on what kind of a ceremony you’re looking for. For example, do you want a religious or secular ceremony? Do you want to include any special activities in your ceremony? Perhaps you know you want to include a handfasting ritual. If so, tell the prospective celebrant up front so they can let you know if that’s something they offer.

Once you’ve identified a prospective celebrant (or two), it’s time to get “face to face” with them. This can be in person or via a video conference. The important thing is for the three of you to get to know each other a bit. You’ll be looking for how comfortable you are with the celebrant. You’ll be looking for confirmation that they are experienced and interested in providing the kind of ceremony you want. They’ll be looking to understand if they can meet your needs and feel they can work well with you.

When engaging wedding celebrants, don’t be afraid to let them lead the conversation, at least at first. They’ve had these discussions many times and know what information both you and they need to get from your meeting. That said, don’t be intimidated. You are the client, and they need to fit you and your vision for your wedding ceremony. After your initial meeting you’ll need to decide if you want to work with that celebrant. Please be courteous and let them know either way. Their feelings won’t be hurt if you choose a different celebrant. But it will help them tremendously if they know that your wedding date is still available to other couples who might be looking to book at the same time. Take a deep breath and begin the process of engaging wedding celebrants. It’s exciting and such an important part of your wedding day.

Congratulations and Happy Holidays

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Venue / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged legal marriage / wedding / wedding celebrant / wedding planning by

Congratulations and Happy Holidays to everyone celebrating special events in the coming weeks. Hanukkah has begun, the winter solstice is tonight, Christmas and Kwanzaa are around the corner, and New Years can be celebrated by us all. And scattered amongst all these annual holidays many couples will formalize their engagements in the next few weeks, too. These winter holidays and Valentine’s Day in February are the most frequent times for couple’s to get engaged.

So, to all the newly engaged, I would like to extend my congratulations and best wishes for long and happy marriages. As you share your happy news with family and friends, often the first question you will be asked is, “Have you set a date yet?” You’ll only be able to answer that after you’ve selected your venue. It may be a local hotel or event center. Perhaps you’ll want an intimate backyard gathering. Or maybe you’ll select a destination wedding in a foreign country. Selecting your venue and learning their availability will likely determine your wedding date.

Once you have your date established, it will be time to lock down all your important vendors. This includes catering (if not provided by the venue), florist and photography, and many more. I encourage you to put securing the services of a professional celebrant high on your To Do list. We are the people who will make your marriage legal. No matter how intimate, elaborate, formal or casual your day will be, you will need to ensure that your marriage will be legally recognized when all is said and done.

Professional celebrants will work with you to craft the ceremony you want. We will also walk you through the process needed to obtain your legal marriage paperwork, and ensure it is returned to the issuing governmental offices. This last step is important. If your paperwork is not returned in compliance with state law, your marriage will not be legal.

Remember then, to include selecting your wedding celebrant as a key part of your planning process. Then you can relax, knowing that you’ll have the ceremony of your dreams, and all the details will be handled, too.

At this special time of year, I’d like to express my congratulations and happy holidays wishes to everyone. I’m looking forward to celebrating with some of you in the coming year.

Fall Weddings – Embrace the Season

 in Decor / Guests / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged fall colors / fall weddings / weddings by

Fall Weddings offer beautiful colors and relief from the heat of summer, but have challenges of their own. September and October have become some of the busiest months for weddings in our area. June and July, traditionally the busiest time, have been uncomfortably hot in recent years, helping drive the interest in fall gatherings.

September weddings can be particularly tricky as some of our warmest weather has occurred during the first weeks of the month. I remember an early September ceremony in the lower gardens at Plummer House that had many guests scurrying to look for some shade. While we think of September as part of the fall season, especially if you’re planning a wedding early in the month, you’ll want to be prepared for heat, too. Consider options for shade for your guests. Provide paper fans and/or bottled water to help them stay comfortable. And remember the potential for really hot weather when choosing attire for your wedding party. Short dresses for women, and shirts and suspenders for the men may be great choices.

Embracing the colors of the season

Later September into October brings changeable weather to our area. You’ll want to be prepared for anything from high 40’s to mid-70 degree temperatures. And don’t forget the wind, which turns cool and can make it feel downright cold. But you’ll also get some beautiful fall colors at this time of year. You may choose typical fall colors of golden yellows, reds and oranges, purples or browns for your decor and ceremony colors. Vines and leaves, even pumpkins and gourds can be utilized to bring the season into your wedding experience.

Fall weddings can be as fresh and lovely as the weather. Brilliant colors bring a festive tone to pictures, especially if you are graced with a sunny day. Embracing the fall season and incorporating it into your wedding theme will make for a memorable experience.