Trends

Moving Beyond the Big Three – Create Meaningful Ceremony

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Personalization / Trends  tagged coming of age ceremony / divorce ceremony / milestone birthday ceremony / retirement ceremony / transition ceremony by

Moving beyond the big three allows you to consider other moments in life that might benefit from meaningful ceremony. In recent weeks I’ve written about the big three: weddings, naming ceremonies, and memorial services. Now it’s time to discuss some lesser considered milestones that are enhanced when you honor them with a ceremony component.

Milestone birthdays: A new decade or coming of age are great opportunities to celebrate with ceremony. Mark an 80th or 90th birthday (or any other you choose to celebrate) with a tribute ceremony. Family members and friends can recall special times shared with the honoree or share how they have influenced the speaker’s life. Mementos of the honoree’s life can be displayed, and their accomplishments can be shared. You’ll definitely want to give the honoree a chance to address the group, too, and share both wisdom and gratitude for those who have gathered. A 16th or 21st birthday can recognize the transition from child to adult.

Professional transitions: Perhaps someone obtained a significant promotion, opened a new business, or is transitioning to retirement. These professional milestones can be recognized with a look back at the accomplishments or contributions, and a look forward to the opportunities that lie ahead.

Divorce: Of course, it doesn’t inspire the happiness of the wedding day, but you can’t deny that experiencing divorce is a major life event. As such, ceremony can help you on this journey. Depending on your individual circumstances and preferences you can hold a divorce ceremony shortly after you decide to divorce, with your spouse participating. The objective here is to focus on your intent to walk this path with integrity, maturity, and respect for each other. You might hold a divorce ceremony with your children (especially if under 18), where you each voice your undiminished love for them, and your commitment to keep their needs front and center as you create a new definition of family.
Lastly, as you reach the end of the divorce process, you may benefit from a ceremony where you embrace your new identity, set new goals for your new situation, and receive support from loved ones.

Guest lists for each of these types of ceremonies are smaller than for a wedding or memorial. Sometimes it may be a very small group of immediate family, or supportive friends. The key with all of the ceremonies is to craft the content, setting, guest list and surrounding activities to meet the wishes and needs of the honorees. Moving beyond the big three when considering the role ceremony can play as you move through life can provide wonderful memories and bring you close together with the important people in your life.

Four Wedding Trends for 2021

 in COVID-19 / Trends / Wedding planning / Weddings / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding trends / weddings by

Four wedding trends for 2021 are influencing couples planning their marriages this year. The pandemic continues to drive changes to what is possible and what is safe. We can’t know when we will return to some sort of “normal” where weddings are concerned, but couples will certainly be influenced by these four wedding trends this year.

  1. Shorter planning cycles. States are frequently changing the number of people who can gather based on current COVID numbers and spikes. Couples are choosing to schedule, plan, invite guests, and hold their weddings within a few weeks to months. This in turn drives the next trend.
  2. Smaller guest lists. Smaller weddings can be planned more quickly and held more safely, both considerations in 2021. Some couples are choosing to have only very close family and friends. Others are focusing on local friends and family so guests don’t have to incur the risks involved in airports, airplanes and hotels. There is an upside to more intimate weddings as couples are able to include guests in meaningful ways in the ceremony and throughout the day.
  3. More intentionality in the wedding day. Couples who have delayed or postponed weddings from last year will tend to be more thoughtful about what is truly important to about the day. They might have fewer people in attendance, but will want something special and memorable. Choices around the ceremony, dinner and reception may all be customized for your day.
  4. Weekdays. 2021 will likely host many weddings postponed from last year, along with the events for newly engaged couples. This will put a strain on venues and other wedding vendors. Venue availability in particular will drive couples to get creative and consider weekdays for their weddings.

These four wedding trends for 2021 relate to each other and are all driven by the pandemic we’re living through. If you’re planning, or re-planning a wedding for this year you’ll likely feel the impact of some or most of these. But there are upsides to each of these trends, too. Ultimately the weddings of 2021 will be special and unique because each couple is.

Ceremonies to Remember: Unique Wedding Processionals

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Trends / Wedding processional  tagged custom ceremony / custom wedding ceremony / processional / wedding ceremony / wedding processional by


Unique wedding processionals offer the opportunity to be true to yourself, to your relationship as a couple, and to the relationships within your family. This post is the second in the Ceremonies to Remember series where I reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. The last post, on ceremonies for family members, can be found here .

Traditional wedding processionals have the bride being escorted into the ceremony space by one or both parents. If you have close relationships with your parent(s), this can be a lovely tradition to include in your ceremony. But more and more couples are choosing a different entrance for their wedding, for a variety of reasons.

One of the most unique wedding processionals I’ve seen was the bride who wanted to be escorted by her brother and sister-in-law and their two young daughters. Her parents had died years ago, and her brother and his family were truly her family. She spent lots of time with them, had a special bond with her nieces, and was very close to her brother and his wife. It made perfect sense for this group to escort her to her groom.

Speaking of children, I’ve seen many children of all ages and genders escort their moms into the ceremony space. This demonstrates a special level of support for the new marriage, and trust in the groom as a new, blended family is formed.

Recently I’ve been having more brides who want to enter without an escort. This occurs and makes sense for a number of reasons. In some cases the bride is established professionally and personally and doesn’t like the appearance of being “given away” by her parents. Other times the bride doesn’t currently or possibly has never had a relationship with her father and wishes to be authentic and enter alone. Sadly, sometimes the bride’s father has died and she doesn’t wish to have anyone “stand in” for him, and so chooses to honor him by entering alone.

A lovely option I’ve seen couples choose is to enter together. Some view this as authentic if they’ve been together a long time. Others use it as a statement of love and commitment. This option can also be chosen if the bride’s dad isn’t available for whatever reason to escort his daughter.

Two final thoughts: First, grooms traditionally just appear at the front of the ceremony space. Most often these days, the groom escorts his parents to their seats and then joins the celebrant in front. But children can escort their dad or he may choose to enter on his own, too. Second, same sex weddings have thrown lots of wedding traditions out the window. Couples choose all aspects of the ceremony including unique wedding processionals to match their personalities and reflect their relationship. How perfect.

2020 Wedding Trends

 in Personalization / Trends / Weddings  tagged personalized wedding / trends / wedding / wedding trends / weddings by

2020 wedding trends are of interest to all newly engaged couples as you begin to define your wedding day. Trends covering the ceremony, fashion, reception, floral and more aspects of the wedding day are documented in many publications and websites.

Interestingly, you’ll find that the identified 2020 wedding trends differ from article to article and even conflict with each other at times. That tells us that there isn’t a definitive list of trends for the year. Want your ceremony to be unique, to reflect you, and to provide your guests with a positive, memorable experience? To do that, you’ll want to be aware of trends, but choose among them wisely.

Some interesting articles on 2020 wedding trends can be found at The Knot and Brides. The 2020 wedding trends article in Wedding Wire begins with the observation that wedding trends don’t really matter that much. That it’s great to be aware of them, but to incorporate only those that resonate with you and your partner.

I second the advice to embrace only those trends that speak to you. And you can pick and choose parts of trends, too. For example, some are predicting that bolder colors will be on display at weddings this year. There are certain colors like Classic Blue that are supposed to be very popular. But if you love the idea of lots of color at your wedding but prefer a bright red or a forest green, go for it. Consider the identified trends, decide if they fit your vision for your wedding day, and if so, make it your own.

Spend some time thinking about what is important to you for your wedding day. Talk to your partner to find out if their thinking aligns with yours. You might discover something is really important to them, and you didn’t know. With your priorities established, you’re ready to go.

As you start finalizing plans for your wedding, remember your budget. No matter how wonderful your day is, if it leaves you in debt or stressed over how much you spent, it is not worth it. There are many levers you can pull to control the spending on your wedding day. If you keep in mind the priorities you set as a couple, you’ll be able to make trade-offs without adversely impacting the overall experience.

With an awareness of 2020 wedding trends, and with your personal style and priorities as a couple in mind, you’re sure to create a wedding day that reflects you perfectly. Your guests will enjoy seeing your personalities shine through all the aspects of your day, and you’ll feel comfortable and relaxed as you enjoy it fully.

Greeting Your Guests – Options Abound

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Trends / Weddings  tagged greeting guests / receiving line / wedding ceremony / wedding etiquette by

Greeting your guests is one of the basic responsibilities for all couples on your wedding day. These are the people you’ve invited to share your special day. Some have traveled significant distances and incurred significant expenses to be with you. It’s important for you to acknowledge their presence and express your appreciation for their efforts. There are, however, traditional and modern, formal and informal ways to accomplish this important task.

Traditionally, a receiving line immediately following the wedding ceremony provided the opportunity to greet your guests. Older style receiving lines included the couple, both sets of parents, and all your attendants in a long line. Receiving lines following the ceremony are still a great way to ensure you have a chance to speak with each of your guests, at least for a few moments. But often the line is limited to just you two, or just you and the parents. Your attendants and your guests are no longer subjected to awkward introductions among strangers, and this also makes the line move much more quickly.

Another opportunity for greeting your guests is a brief receiving line as everyone enters the reception venue for dinner. This can work well if you left immediately after your ceremony for pictures or if you expect that some guests will skip the ceremony and arrive only in time for the reception.

A modern alternative to a receiving line is to have you both re-enter the ceremony space immediately after the wedding party and parents recess at the conclusion of the ceremony. You then act as ushers, greeting your guests as they leave their seats and move on to the next phase of the celebration. This approach tends to take a bit longer, but your guests are able to remain seated until it is their turn to greet you.

Finally, if you’re opting for a more informal approach to greeting your guests you can mingle with them during social hour, or make the rounds of tables during dinner. These approaches work best if you have a smaller number of guests so you can keep track of who you’ve spoken to and who you haven’t.

Greeting your guests may seem like a chore, but as the hosts and honorees of the event, it is your responsibility to welcome and thank them all. These loved ones and friends want to share in your happiness, wish you well, and celebrate with you, so pick the approach that works best for you and enjoy the experience.