Personalization

Why Opt for a Custom Wedding Ceremony?

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Weddings  tagged custom ceremony / custom wedding / custom wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony by

Why opt for a custom wedding ceremony when a pre-written ceremony is easier and cheaper? Because your wedding day celebrates the two of you and the love you’ve found together. That love is unique to the two of you, and deserves more than a “fill in the names” ceremony. You’ve invested long months making many decisions about napkin colors, centerpieces and name cards. Doesn’t your ceremony deserve some focus and investment, too?

There is no question that if you opt for a custom wedding ceremony you will need to invest some time and attention. You’ll need to provide information on yourself and on you as a couple to allow your celebrant to create a ceremony that authentically reflects you. You’ll need to review a draft or two to ensure that they have the facts right and have captured the tone you want for your ceremony. But many couples have shared that the time they invest working on their ceremony has been time well spent. When they’re busy and stressed by the myriad decisions and tasks associated with planning a wedding day, taking an hour or two to think about their love, their past experiences together and the future that is in front of them can be an opportunity to focus again on the big picture. To focus on what’s really important about the day and why it is even happening.

When you opt for a custom wedding ceremony it puts you in the drivers seat. You select your own music (without limitations imposed by religion or officiant). You select your own reading(s), can decide not to have any at all, or can request assistance in identifying a reading that reflects some aspect of your story. The choice of unity ritual and the choice to include one are also yours, with customization to make it relevant to you a great option. With your vows the centerpiece of your wedding ceremony it only makes sense that you have the option to write your own, or to select ones that speak to the promises you want to make to each other in marriage. When you opt for a custom wedding ceremony you choose which ceremony elements to include and control how they come together.

Opt for a custom wedding ceremony to ensure it reflects you as a couple.

More skill, resources, knowledge and time are required from your celebrant when you opt for a custom wedding ceremony and it will accordingly be a bit more costly. When viewed as a percentage of your wedding budget your ceremony is still one of the smallest expenditures you will make, though, and is really what your wedding day is all about… the two of you professing your love and commitment to each other in front of your family and friends. All the rest is just a great party, so give your ceremony the time and attention needed to make it the perfect beginning to your marriage adventure.

Puppy Love on Your Wedding Day

 in Ceremony / Personalization  tagged ceremony / dog / ring dog / wedding / wedding dog by

Including some puppy love on your wedding day is another way to make the day truly yours and to share your love with those most important to you. If you have a special pooch in your world you likely will want to include them in your day in some special way. Depending on your dog’s personality and the day you have planned, there are a number of ways to include Fido in the festivities.

The simplest way to include your beloved pet in your wedding day is to have them captured in your pictures. Your photographer can work with you to capture special loving moments for the three of you, and the pooch can be in the formal portraits, too.

Another favorite role for pets is as ring dogs. They can be part of the processional or make a special entrance with the rings firmly attached to their collar. After delivering the rings, they can be kept to the side with a handler they know, or can be removed from the ceremony space.

I’ve even had a dog enter with the groom and sit by his side for the entire ceremony. There was no doubt that this dog was the couple’s best friend. She had been through extensive training and sat placidly next to them, focused on the sound of their voices during the vows, and joining them for the recessional, too.

Here’s a link to a good article offering tips on how to include your dog in your wedding day. I know many owners feel their dogs are well trained, but I highly recommend having the dogs leashed while they participate in your wedding day. You can never know how the dogs will react to large crowds of strangers, all the hugs that they could misinterpret as aggressive moves on their owners, or the random rabbit that they may chase after at an outdoor wedding. It’s also important to be aware that some people are frightened of animals or may be highly allergic. If your pet isn’t contained, they may be so uncomfortable that they need to leave the festivities early.

Puppy love on your wedding day can make it even more special and memorable for you, and if you take care to consider your pet’s and your guests’ needs, your much loved animals can be a great addition to your day.

Including Guests in Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Rituals / Weddings  tagged ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests by

Including guests in your wedding ceremony makes it more personal, unique and interesting. Individual guests can be invited to participate based on their relationship to you or based on a talent they have. And all guests can be invited to participate to demonstrate their support for you and your marriage.

A friend or relative that you are close to can be invited to offer a reading. You’ll want to make sure that they are comfortable with public speaking and can read clearly and slowly. I’ve seen mutual friends of the couple, a close aunt or uncle, grandparents, personal attendants, or even parents of the couple asked to do the reading.

If you have musically talented friends or relatives, you can invite them to offer a musical selection before the ceremony begins, to back the processional, recessional or unity ritual, or as a standalone solo during the ceremony. If you opt for the standalone solo option, it’s nice to have the person stand where they can be seen so guests can watch them perform.

If your state requires witnesses to sign your wedding certificate, this is yet another special role that can be offered to guests. While most often couples invite the best man and maid of honor to sign the certificate, I’ve also had couples invite their mothers, fathers, and even grandparents to take this important role.

Ring Warming

A ring warming ritual is a newer option for including guests in your wedding ceremony. The rings you will exchange are placed in a small bowl, basket or bag, or tied together with ribbon and passed among all the guests. This ritual is performed early in the ceremony so the rings are back in front by the time you finish your vows and are ready to exchange the rings. Guests are invited to imbue the rings with their love and best wishes for you and your marriage, and as you exchange them the rings are spoken of as now carrying those wishes as you cross the threshold into marriage.

Another option for guest involvement begins when everyone is given a small stone or pebble as they are being seated. Then, near the end of the ceremony they are invited to hold their pebbles, respond verbally to a request to support you in your marriage, and then imbue the pebble with their good wishes for you. If your guest list is very small (30 or fewer), you can invite the guests to come forward one at a time, place their pebble in a bowl or basket, and then share their wishes with you verbally. For larger groups, you can place the basket or bowl next to you in the receiving line and invite guests to drop their pebbles there and share their wishes as you greet them after the ceremony.

Thumbprint Ritual

And a final option is for you to place overlapping thumbprints on a tree or other drawing on a poster board during your ceremony representing the joining of your lives in marriage. Then have your honor attendants place their thumbprints on the tree in support of your marriage and invite guests to do the same during the reception. The poster board can also include places for your guests to add their signatures so it serves as a guestbook/recording of your guests, too.

Including guests in your wedding is another way to personalize your ceremony and make it more memorable for everyone. Consider the personalities, talents and interests of your family and friends to decide how you might invite them to participate in your special day.

One Size Doesn’t Fit All

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Venue / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding choices by

I’m in Las Vegas for a conference as I write this week’s blog, and am being reminded that one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to weddings. From the moment I arrived I’ve been seeing ads and billboards for wedding chapels. They are stand alone buildings on the street, special spaces in the hotels, gazebos on the grounds and more. I’ve also seen brides-to-be and their entourage out on the town enjoying bachelorette parties.

While the idea of a Vegas wedding or party seems unappealing to some, it is obviously big business here, and the right choice for some people. In the same way, a barn wedding or a church wedding or a ceremony in a state park may not be your ideal, but it is great that each of those options exist because they are some else’s ideal. The point is that each couple should be able to have the kind of wedding they want.

Beyond venue, the idea that one size doesn’t fit all extends to the ceremony itself. Some people focus on the music, others spend a lot of time selecting meaningful readings, and many couples work to find or write the perfect vows that articulate the promises they are making to each other in marriage. Some people want a brief, but full ceremony – 20 minutes or so, while others are happy to spend 30 minutes for the ceremony experience. On the other end of the spectrum are couples who select a very brief ceremony – elopement style – with an exchange of vows and rings, a few words before and after, and only their witnesses present. And the simplest option is to meet the state requirements for marriage with a certificate signing where you only acknowledge your desire to marry and then have your witnesses and officiant sign the paperwork. Each of these options has the same end result – you are legally married. But for each couple there is an option that best matches your vision for your ideal.

The one size doesn’t fit all maxim can be applied to all aspects of your wedding day – from size of wedding party to formality of attire, from size of guest list to the food served, from time of day to time of year. While it is easy to be overwhelmed by all the choices involved in planning your wedding, you can be grateful that options abound for each of the decisions you need to make because truly, one size doesn’t fit all, but there is a size out there that does fit you. Happy planning!