Personalization

Celebrate Your Uniqueness

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Personalized Ceremony / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Wedding Ceremony  tagged custom rituals / personalized wedding / unity rituals / wedding ceremony / weddings by


Your wedding ceremony is a great opportunity to celebrate your uniqueness. Weddings can be full of traditions that are fun to include in your day, but make sure you include all that makes you special as a couple.

Weddings have been changing for awhile now, which offers you the chance to make the day a personal reflection of yourselves and your relationship. Traditions like bouquet and garter toss at the reception and “giving away” the bride at the ceremony can be left out if you prefer. And new rituals and ceremony approaches that better reflect you can be added.

I strive to make each ceremony I craft for a couple unique to them. Sharing their story is part of the beginning of the ceremony. My goal is for all the guests to learn something new about the couple. If they are interested, I encourage couples to write their own vows. It is another way to let their personalities shine.

Unity Ritual - Sazerac creation
Unity Ritual – Sazerac creation

Unity rituals are an obvious opportunity to celebrate your uniqueness. A trip to New Orleans was a significant event for a couple I married recently. For their unity ritual we had them build a Sazerac cocktail – the official cocktail of New Orleans. I used the characteristics of the ingredients – sweet, bitter, strong, and unique to craft a metaphor for marriage. This is the first Sazerac ritual I’ve written in the more than 500 ceremonies I’ve officiated. It was perfect for them. While there are many lovely “generic” unity rituals available, many can also be customized to
celebrate your uniqueness with a little effort.

An experienced, educated celebrant can work with you to write a wedding ceremony that reflects and celebrates you and the love you share. Start your wedding day with a ceremony that will celebrate your uniqueness as you voice your commitment to each other in marriage.

Unconventional Wedding Choices

 in Personalization / Wedding traditions / Weddings  tagged personalized wedding / unconventional wedding choices / wedding attire / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Unconventional wedding choices are yet another way to make your wedding day uniquely yours. If you are a bit unconventional as a couple, and traditional weddings just aren’t for you, I encourage you to make choices that feel authentic for you.

I recently had two Halloween weddings where couples used the holiday to express themselves in different, but meaningful (to them) ways. One couple dressed all in black, taking a more gothic approach to the day. And the other couple dressed in costume, bringing some whimsy to what can be a more serious, though celebratory day. In each case the couples were being true to themselves as they marked a milestone moment in their lives.

Costumed Halloween Wedding
Unconventional wedding choices

I’ve also had couples express their individuality in a different way. One couple chose dressy, but nontraditional, colorful attire for their ceremony, while another couple opted for dark colors and their favorite heavy metal music to accompany their wedding.

Colorful wedding attire
Colorful wedding attire
Unconventional wedding choices
Unconventional wedding choices

Some couples enjoy the more typical wedding traditions, and that’s great, too. White dresses, traditional ceremonies and rituals all have their place. They can be the exactly what some couples want. But unconventional wedding choices have their place, too. Feel free to modify or discard wedding traditions if they don’t fit you. Embrace choices to make the day truly reflect who you are and the marriage you are beginning.

Honoring Deceased Parents at Weddings

 in Personalization / Weddings  tagged memorial ritual / parent memorial / wedding deceased parent / weddings by

Honoring deceased parents at weddings deserves thought and consideration. Do you want to mention them during the ceremony? Is a ritual the right answer for you? Or perhaps you want a memento placed on the chair they would occupy, without anything being said at all? Maybe pictures of parents who have passed, along with an “in memory” plaque is the way you want to honor them at your wedding. There are many possibilities, and if you are in this situation you’ll want to select one that feels authentic for you.

Weddings are happy events, and bringing up parents who have passed can be a bit tricky to do. How recent the loved ones’ passing is will also impact what you choose. If the loss is fresh, it might be best to avoid talking about it during the ceremony, to avoid feeling overwhelmed by sadness. Think about your remaining parent, too, and be sensitive to how they will feel about whatever you decide to do.

Over the years I’ve had couples choose very simple statements, similar to, “John and Steven are so happy to share this day with all of you, and carry in their hearts those not able to be with us today.” That, along with a picture placed on a chair or table may be just the right touch for you.

Both fathers of a recent couple had died years ago, and they wanted to have me speak to the impact these important men had on them as individuals growing up. They also lit a candle in their dads’ memory near the beginning of the ceremony. This was the right answer for them, but I did notice that both of their moms were very emotional following this moment.

Honoring deceased parents at weddings is a very personal choice. You’ll want to discuss it as a couple and with your celebrant to decide how best to remember these important people on your happy day.

Colorful Weddings

 in Personalization / Uncategorized / Wedding Party / Wedding traditions / Weddings  tagged colorful wedding / personalized wedding / wedding fashion / weddings by


Colorful weddings often refer to bright hues selected for bridesmaids’ dresses, table settings or possibly for flowers. But don’t leave the brides and grooms colorless. Yes, elegant neutrals for the women, and black or navy for the men will always have a place in wedding fashion. But how about a bride in black with a purple underskirt, or a groom in brightly colored argyle socks. I’ve seen both in recent weddings, and they are a great way to let your personality shine.

White wedding gowns have been popular since Queen Victoria chose one for her 1840 wedding to Prince Albert. On recent runways we’ve seen pastels in blue, pink and green plus some delicate floral options for wedding gowns.
But brides are making choices to reflect their personalities and passions. Such was the case with last years bride selecting a black dress with purple underskirt. It fit perfectly with her near gothic sensibilities and Metallica ceremony music.

A black and purple wedding dress for a colorful wedding

Just last week I was speaking with a couple planning a ceremony for later this year. The bride informed me that she would be wearing a black and red gown. Everyone in the wedding party will be dressed in those hues, making for a very bold and colorful wedding.

Let’s not leave the gentlemen out of the opportunity for colorful attire, though. I’m not suggesting the pale blue tuxes of the early ’80’s, but men can add a punch of color to their wedding finery. The argyle socks I mentioned above are an option, but the Green Bay Packer socks worn by the groom and all his groomsmen are another. There was no question who the groom rooted for, even here in Viking country. Ties and vests are other easy ways for men to add a punch of color. Within the last year I’ve seen bold plaid ties, soft floral ties and vests in a variety of colors.

Colorful weddings are a way to express yourselves, to share a passion or interest, or to bring just a bit of whimsy to a day that can feel very formal and sometimes stiff. If your personality is more lighthearted or you just want to dress in your favorite color, don’t feel constrained by tradition. Colorful weddings are becoming more common and are also more memorable. They make for great pictures, too. So feel free to express yourself with your fashion choices.

A Personalized Wedding Ceremony

 in Personalization / Personalized Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged personal ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

A personalized wedding ceremony can mean different things to different people. I had the opportunity last month to perform one of the most personalized ceremonies I’ve ever created. It’s also the first ceremony I’ve performed on an ice rink!

This wonderful couple had been friends for quite a few years, when he invited her to go ice skating one day. Not being a skater, she relied on him to support her on the ice and teach her basic skills. But something more important happened that first day – they began to move their relationship beyond friendship. Through the coming years they continued to skate together, and their romance blossomed, too. Then a year ago, on the anniversary of their first skating date, he proposed marriage to her on that very ice rink. And she said yes.

This wonderful couple wanted a personal, intimate wedding, but wanted it to reflect them and their story. They contacted me asking if I would marry them on that special anniversary date this year. They also wanted me to marry them on their ice rink where it all began. Sometimes couples who have such a unique and interesting vision for their wedding plan an extravaganza of a wedding day. Not so for this couple. In fact they wanted this to be a totally personal and private experience.

Since our state requires two witnesses for a legal marriage, they asked their photographer and my husband to be the witnesses. So, on a snowy Saturday evening in January the four of us gathered at the indoor ice rink for the ceremony. They provided a carpet for me to walk onto the ice to join them. I really appreciated that as it’s been literally decades since I strapped on a pair of skates. They skated toward me; the bride in a white satin dress and knit bolero to try to stay warm and the groom looking dapper in his jacket, hat and scarf.

In a personalized wedding ceremony written for them, I reminded them of their beginning on the ice. We reflected on skating as an apt metaphor for marriage. They spoke thoughtful vows and exchanged rings. I offered good wishes for their marriage and pronounced them married, upon which they circled the rink together a few times to celebrate their marriage.

While originally planned for just the couple, their photographer and required witness, this couple did invite their parents to observe the ceremony from the stands at the last minute. As this couple demonstrates, a personalized wedding ceremony makes the event more memorable, more special, and totally unique to them. Having the opportunity to create such a novel ceremony was a treat for me, and fun for all of us.