Officiant

Newly Engaged Couples – Congratulations!

 in Celebrant / Engagement / Officiant / Venue / Weddings  tagged celebrant / engaged / engagement / newly engaged / officiant / venue / wedding / weddings by

To all newly engaged couples, I offer my congratulations, and welcome you to the wonderful world of wedding planning. The holiday season – from Thanksgiving through New Years – is the busiest time of the year for engagements, so you are in good company as newly engaged couples. Often upon announcing your engagement, the first question to come up is, “Do you have a date yet?” While it may seem overwhelming with so many decisions in front of you, setting your date is the right place to start.

To set your date, though, you’ll need to discuss a few things including:
– do you want to have your wedding where you live now, where one of you grew up, or maybe a destination wedding is the right choice for you? Answering this question will help you identify the city/area to focus on.
– do you have a specific time of year you want to get married? It’s best if you maintain some flexibility here as some dates will already be booked.
– do you have a particular kind of venue in mind? Maybe a barn wedding or a celebration at a winery is your dream, or perhaps you’re looking for an elegant ballroom or loft event or a simple backyard gathering.

Once you have a vision for the where, when and what your ideal wedding day looks like, you’re ready to start researching venues that meet your criteria. I can’t impress on newly engaged couples enough to jump on this level of planning immediately after you become engaged (or even before if you know a wedding is in your near future). Many popular venues book a year or more in advance, so it is never too soon to begin your search. That said, if you have some flexibility, you might still be able to book your favorite venue – maybe for a Friday or Sunday celebration if all the Saturdays are booked.

As soon as you know your wedding date and venue, it’s time to begin your next round of research and secure the following vendors for your day:
1. Celebrant or officiant
2. Photographer
3. Planner or coordinator (if you plan to hire a professional)
4. Caterer (if food in not provided by your venue)
5. Florist
6. Bridal Salon for your dress (especially if your wedding date is closer in than 9 months away)

There are a number of tools available to help newly engaged couples navigate the complex task of planning your wedding day. Make sure to check out online tools at sites like Wedding Wire or The Knot along with articles at sites like Brides and Weddingbee. There are also hard copy books, binders and specialized planners available if you prefer to use something you can literally put your hands on.

The Engagement Season is certainly upon us. I’ve been booking 2019 weddings for a number of months, but my email and phone have definitely seen increased activity in the last week. So congratulations and welcome to all newly engaged couples. I look forward to hearing from you when you’re ready to select your wedding celebrant to help you have the ceremony of your dreams.

Selecting Your Wedding Celebrant

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Officiant / Weddings  tagged selecting celebrant / selecting wedding celebrant / selecting wedding officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by

Selecting your wedding celebrant or officiant is just one of the many decisions you need to make as an engaged couple planning your wedding day. While most couples have ideas of what they want for their wedding reception and party, many draw a blank when thinking about what they want in their ceremony. Allow me to lay out some of the early questions to ask yourselves as you begin the search for your ideal wedding celebrant.

– A good place to start is by asking if you are looking for a religious or secular ceremony. There are specialists in both, and you want to be considering celebrants who can provide the kind of ceremony you want.

– Next, consider if you are looking for someone who will craft a ceremony in response to your wishes and based on you as a couple; someone who provides snippets of ceremonies for your consideration and asks you to basically create your own ceremony by assembling the pieces you want; or someone who can provide a brief, elopement style ceremony or handle the legalities of marriage in your state without any ceremony at all.

– Think about weddings you’ve attended or even seen in movies or on TV. Do you have any things you definitely do or do not want in your ceremony?

– And finally, how would you prefer to engage with the celebrant throughout the ceremony writing process? Do you want them to write the ceremony and deliver it as a surprise on your wedding day, or do you prefer to collaborate with them throughout the process?

Once you have answers to the questions posed above, you’re ready to start looking for your celebrant. The internet and recommendations from friends and relatives are great places to start. Or maybe you attended a wedding recently and liked what you heard from the celebrant. Try to find two or three potential celebrants or officiants to meet with.

Reach out to the potential celebrants with a phone call or email. Let them know when and where your ceremony is to take place and ask about their availability and willingness to speak with you further. I’m a fan of in person meetings whenever possible. Taking an hour or two to meet with prospective celebrants will give you a good idea of how comfortable you are speaking with and working with them.

Feel free to ask any questions you have (and it’s OK not to have questions, too). Let them know what you want and don’t want in your ceremony. When selecting your wedding celebrant realize that while they are the expert in this field, you hold the power to book their services or continue to look for a better match. Your celebrant should be willing and able to listen to you and hear what you are asking for in your ceremony, and have the skills, background, and experience to deliver the ceremony you want.

It’s a good idea to invest time and effort in selecting your wedding celebrant as you will work with them closely leading up to your wedding day. Your ceremony will also be the first event of your wedding day and can set the tone for the rest of the celebration. Now is the perfect time to be selecting your wedding celebrant for 2019 ceremonies as the most popular celebrants book early. Don’t hesitate to reach out and begin the process of finding and selecting your wedding celebrant.

Same Day Marriages in Minnesota – Not Always Easy

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Weddings  tagged elopement / same day marriage / wedding ceremony by

Same day marriages in Minnesota can be tricky, as many couples discover. They apply for their marriage license at the local county offices, and then ask the clerk, “Now where can we get married?” In many counties in Minnesota there is no place to go at that moment. By Minnesota state law judges and retired judges can perform marriages, but in many counties they are so busy that they cannot offer these services at all, or at least not during business hours or without a scheduled appointment. And very few counties staff a wedding officiant on site.

So what’s a couple to do? Many turn to Google or the internet in some form. A simple search of “wedding officiant ‘city name'”, for example, “wedding officiant Rochester”, will return information on local wedding officiants. With a quick phone call or two you may be able to find someone who can provide the service you seek that very day.

That’s what happened to me just yesterday. I was traveling back to Minnesota after a family gathering when my phone rang about 1pm. A bride was on the line asking if I could provide a wedding ceremony in a few hours. Fortunately, my calendar was open, and at 7pm we stood in her grandparents backyard for a short, sweet exchange of vows and rings. With wishes for a long and happy marriage I pronounced them legally married and they sealed their promises with a kiss.

I call these kinds of ceremonies Vow Exchanges. They are not customized to you, but can include personal vows you write, if you wish, or I can offer a choice of a few “repeat after me” vow options. The ceremony includes an optional exchange of rings, too. If you don’t want any ceremony at all, I also offer a “Certificate signing” service that meets the minimal requirements for marriage in the state of Minnesota. I offer Vow Exchange and Certificate Signing services for very small gatherings in Rochester only, at agreed upon days and times.

So, if you’re looking for options for same day marriages or short turnaround services, I can be of assistance. You can have a memorable experience even if you discover the county offices aren’t able to meet your needs. Call me.

Humanist Celebrants and Ceremonies in the News

 in Ceremony / Humanist Celebrant / Officiant  tagged celebrant training / Humanist celebrants / wedding ceremonies by

Humanist Celebrants and ceremonies are in the news with this post at thehumanist.com

Wedding ceremony clients

I was recently invited to write about the fulfilling work I do as a Humanist Celebrant, with a focus on the training available to do the job well. I’m fortunate to have obtained training from both the Celebrant Foundation and Institute and the Humanist Center for Education as I started this work over eight years ago. The training focused on ideas that have become the cornerstone of my celebrant practice:
– working with clients who seek a meaningful but religion-free ceremony.
– collaborating with clients to provide the ceremony they want to mark their milestone in life.
– ensuring that clients have the opportunity to review, make changes to, and ultimately approve any ceremony I write for them.
– offering the ceremony in a professional manner; from my clothing to my physical demeanor, from my voice to my interactions with guests and other vendors.
– committing to running my practice in an ethical manner, complying with relevant state and federal laws, paying my taxes, and renewing my celebrant credential.

I love the work I do as a Humanist Celebrant, and feel honored each time a client chooses to work with me on their ceremony. Even after close to a decade of doing this work, I still encounter many people who don’t know about Humanism or about celebrants, so it’s great to see Humanist Celebrants and ceremonies in the news.

The Benefits of Hiring Professionals

 in Ceremony / Music / Officiant / Weddings  tagged officiant / professionals by

There are benefits to hiring professionals for your wedding day. You can ask friends and relatives to help with many tasks associated with your wedding, from making signs to creating welcome bags for out of town guests staying at hotels; from helping to address invitations to greeting guests at the ceremony. But there are some tasks that I suggest are best handled by professionals.

I will admit that I am biased, since I’m one of the professionals you can hire for your wedding day, but stay with me as I make my case. You probably have an amateur photographer among your acquaintances who could take pictures at your wedding. But they likely will not have the experience or equipment to capture all the special moments that a professional photographer would. And you can certainly ask a friend to run your recorded music for your ceremony, but do you have appropriate speakers so the music will be heard? Will that friend know when to start, stop or cycle a given song so the last part of the processional doesn’t happen in silence and you don’t have to stand awkwardly waiting for the music to finish? Professional DJs and live musicians with wedding experience can ensure there are no awkward silences or over long musical interludes.

Those are just two examples of the difference between using professional vendors and gracious friends and family. Within the world of wedding ceremony trends I cringe when people tell me they’ve asked a brother, uncle or friend to act as their officiant. I’m personally busy enough that I’m not concerned with losing business to this trend, but I worry about the resulting ceremony for a couple of reasons. First, the person acting as officiant often knows one of you better than the other, and likely has a limited perspective on your relationship. This can result in an unbalanced ceremony that doesn’t really focus on you, your love and commitment to each other. You really don’t want your ceremony to sound like the warm-up for the evening’s toasts.

The second reason I worry is because these well-intentioned folks usually don’t have training in what we call the “emotional arc” of the ceremony. A well designed ceremony will carry you and your guests on a journey – it will build to a crescendo, and close with feelings of hope and excitement for your future. Untrained officiants are likely to place ceremony elements in a haphazard order, or draw focus to concepts out of order in a way that leaves everyone feeling a bit at sea. And worst case, the untrained officiant might not follow state requirements to be able to perform a legal ceremony for you, or may get cold feet and back out altogether, only weeks or days before your wedding.

For all the above reasons, I encourage you to consider hiring professionals to handle what you consider to be the most important parts of your wedding day, and to engage your helpful family and friends to work on the surrounding tasks – or just enjoy being welcomed guests. This approach will lead to a memorable wedding day and will reduce the potential for various disasters.