Officiant

Engaging Wedding Celebrants

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Officiant / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning  tagged celebrant / officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding officiant / wedding planning by

Engaging wedding celebrants can be a bit daunting for a newly engaged couple. It is an important part of planning your wedding day, though, so don’t delay due to nerves. There is a simple process you can follow that will help you decide when you’ve found the wedding celebrant that’s right for you.

Before you reach out to potential celebrants, you’ll need two key pieces of information: your ceremony venue and wedding date. These will be necessary for any celebrant to tell you if they are available on your date, and if they serve your location/venue. Armed with the date and venue, you’re ready to begin your search.

If you’ve been to a wedding where you really enjoyed the ceremony, or if you know people who have recently married that’s a great place to start. Talk to those couples and ask for reviews, referrals and contact information. If you’re starting from scratch, try an online search. Use “wedding officiant ” for example. Note that I suggest using “officiant” instead of “celebrant” for this search. That’s because celebrant is a more specialized term and you’ll find more possibilities using the term officiant. Spend some time reading celebrant websites to learn more about the services they offer. Some will likely appeal to you more than others.

Now it’s time to begin engaging wedding celebrants you’re drawn to. An email or phone call is probably the best place to start. Provide the date and venue information and ask if they are available. It’s helpful for you to include information on what kind of a ceremony you’re looking for. For example, do you want a religious or secular ceremony? Do you want to include any special activities in your ceremony? Perhaps you know you want to include a handfasting ritual. If so, tell the prospective celebrant up front so they can let you know if that’s something they offer.

Once you’ve identified a prospective celebrant (or two), it’s time to get “face to face” with them. This can be in person or via a video conference. The important thing is for the three of you to get to know each other a bit. You’ll be looking for how comfortable you are with the celebrant. You’ll be looking for confirmation that they are experienced and interested in providing the kind of ceremony you want. They’ll be looking to understand if they can meet your needs and feel they can work well with you.

When engaging wedding celebrants, don’t be afraid to let them lead the conversation, at least at first. They’ve had these discussions many times and know what information both you and they need to get from your meeting. That said, don’t be intimidated. You are the client, and they need to fit you and your vision for your wedding ceremony. After your initial meeting you’ll need to decide if you want to work with that celebrant. Please be courteous and let them know either way. Their feelings won’t be hurt if you choose a different celebrant. But it will help them tremendously if they know that your wedding date is still available to other couples who might be looking to book at the same time. Take a deep breath and begin the process of engaging wedding celebrants. It’s exciting and such an important part of your wedding day.

Becoming a Family Celebrant

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Memorial services / Officiant / Personalized Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged child welcoming / family celebrant / memorial service / multiple ceremonies / wedding ceremony by

Becoming a family celebrant has been an unexpected benefit of the work I’ve done as a lifecyle celebrant over the last 14 years. I’ve always offered “cradle to grave” ceremonies, meaning everything from child welcomings to weddings to memorial services. But I didn’t foresee having the opportunity to create and offer multiple ceremonies for a given family.

Becoming a family celebrant has taken different forms for different families. For some families it means offering multiple wedding ceremonies over the years for siblings. I feel especially honored when the second or subsequent sibling contacts me. I know that they’ve seen my work and trust me to create their unique marriage ceremony, too.

Custom memorial services

In other cases, I’ve become the family’s memorial celebrant. I’m called upon to create and offer ceremonies that celebrate and honor the life of a recently deceased family member. I’ve had the privilege to officiate at three memorials for one special family. I’ve helped them recognize the life of the patriarch, matriarch and daughter.

In a twist on the idea of becoming a family celebrant, I’ve repeatedly been called upon to welcome a child into the family of a couple I married earlier. These special requests provide an opportunity for me to catch up with the couple. And I get to see how their lives have grown since I married them. I’ve just recently been contacted to create a welcoming ceremony for the second child of one couple I married a number of years ago. We celebrated their marriage first. Then in 2020 we celebrated the birth of their first child. Now I look forward to celebrating the arrival of their second son later this year.

Baby Welcoming - Wishes Tree
Baby Welcoming – Wishes Tree

While most of the ceremonies I offer are weddings, it is a pleasure to also celebrate and commemorate other life events. I appreciate the trust and confidence previous clients demonstrate when they ask for my assistance a second or even third time.

Defining Your Ceremony Vision

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Vows  tagged officiant / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by

Defining your ceremony vision can seem like a daunting task. This is likely the first time you’ve considered what you want in your wedding ceremony. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. A good celebrant will be genuinely interested in meeting you and discussing your ceremony wishes. Here are three ways you can prepare for that meeting and tackle the process of defining your ceremony vision.

  1. First, consider what you’ve seen in other weddings. Think about those moments when you thought, “That’s special. I would like to have something like that at my wedding.” Or, on the flip side, maybe you saw something that you knew you definitely did not want at your ceremony. Both are good to share with your celebrant.
  2. Next, talk about your vows with your fiance(e). Your exchange of vows will be the highlight of the ceremony as you make your promises to one another. But there are a number of ways to accomplish that. You can write your own vows if you want them to be totally personal and unique. If that doesn’t fit your style, your celebrant will likely be able to offer sample vows in the “repeat after me” style that you can choose from. Or perhaps you’re very shy or maybe English isn’t your first language and you prefer to respond to the celebrant with a simple, “I do”. Since vows are so important in a wedding ceremony, identifying the vow style you prefer is a key part of defining your ceremony vision.
  3. Finally, before meeting with your celebrant, discuss the length and tone you want for your ceremony. I often hear, “We want a short and sweet ceremony.” But what does that mean to you? Ten minutes, 20 or more? Knowing the time frame you want will help your celebrant guide you in terms of ceremony content and flow. And what about the ceremony tone? Do you want a romantic and more serious ceremony? Perhaps you prefer a lighthearted ceremony and think that some laughter is essential. Maybe involving family members is important to you, or conversely, maybe you want to keep the focus on the two of you and your path to this moment.

Defining your ceremony vision is as simple as following these three steps. Doing so will help ensure that your wedding ceremony reflects your priorities and your personalities, and is memorable and fitting for the two of you.

Hiring Your Wedding Officiant

 in Officiant / Wedding Ceremony  tagged celebrant / officiant / wedding celebrant / wedding officiant by

Hiring your wedding officiant should be done soon after you’ve selected your date and ceremony venue. With those two key pieces of information, you’re ready to start your search. Officiants will be able to quickly tell you if they are available for your date, and if they provide services to the location you’ve selected.

By selecting your wedding officiant early you increase the chances that they will be available for your date, and you leave time for an orderly and relaxed timeline for the creation of your ceremony. If you have a particular officiant in mind, it really isn’t ever too early to reach out with an initial contact. If you’re feeling apprehensive about initiating contact with officiants, here are a few tips to ease you into the process:

  1. Online searches for officiants in your geographic area is a good place to begin. Once you find one or a few officiants you’re interested in, see if they offer an online contact form. When you complete and submit their form you can be sure that you’re providing the initial information they need. The officiant can then respond with additional information and suggestions on how best to proceed.
  2. Reputable officiants will offer a no cost, no obligation initial consultation. This is an opportunity for all parties to decide if you’re a good fit for each other, and if the officiant is a viable option for your wedding day. Consultations can take place in person, via video conference, or via teleconference.
  3. Hiring your wedding officiant should include a formal document that lays out all the details – date, time, place and cost of course, along with what the officiant will do and what your responsibilities are. The one exception to this is if you are hiring an officiant for a ceremony in the next few days, in which case a verbal agreement or email exchange may serve your needs.
  4. Make sure you give some thought to what you want in your wedding ceremony before you meet with potential officiants. The more information you can provide about your wishes, priorities, and requirements, the better chance you’ll have of hiring the right person.

Hiring your wedding officiant may take a little time and effort, and it’s OK to continue your search if you don’t connect with the first person you meet. Your wedding ceremony is the first public event of your wedding day. It’s also a required element of your day, if you want to be legally married. So take your time, invest some thought and effort into the process, and you’ll select the person who can deliver on your vision for the ideal wedding ceremony.

Ceremonies to Remember: Family

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Personalization / Readings / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged celebrant / personal ceremony / personalized vows / personalized wedding by

Ceremonies to Remember is a series of blog posts to run from now to the end of 2020. In each post I’ll reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. This week the ceremonies to remember are ones I’ve been privileged to offer for family members.

The first family wedding ceremony I wrote and offered was for my son and daughter-in-law, back in 2013. It was interesting to step back and interact with them as I do with all client couples. I learned so much about each of them, and about their relationship through the process. They were one of the first couples I worked with who chose the Love Letters and Wine Box ceremony as their unity ritual, and it fit them perfectly. They wrote couple’s vows which were offered as a dialogue during the ceremony, and selected an ee cummings reading that was a favorite. One of the most unique elements of their wedding was the setting they chose – our local civic theatre – which was also the site of their first date. The ceremony was a special moment in their wonderful day, and my daughter-in-law still says they “win at weddings”. I hope all couples feel that way about their wedding day!

Love Letters and Wine Box Unity Ritual

The second family wedding I was asked to officiate was for my niece and her nephew-in-law. They chose a December date, and were fortunate to have a clear, if cold, day in Wisconsin that allowed all their invited guests to attend. Surrounded by family and friends, they included their families in the ceremony in multiple ways. Both sisters stood with them as bridesmaids. His father offered the reading. The mothers and sisters performed the handfasting unity ritual, sharing wishes for the couple’s marriage. As with my son’s wedding, the role of officiant provided the opportunity to learn more about my future nephew-in-law, and to see them interact as a couple.

Family Handfasting. Photo credit: Van Dreel Photography.

These family weddings were indeed ceremonies to remember. I was honored to be asked by both couples to serve as their celebrant. To legally join them in marriage and to create personal ceremonies that reflect their unique relationships was memorable. Those ceremonies stand out as highlights of my career as a Humanist Celebrant to date, and I’ll share more special moments in my coming blogs.