Engagement

Finding Opportunity in Crisis

July 22, 2020 in Celebration / Ceremony / COVID-19 / Engagement / Wedding planning / Weddings tagged COVID-19 / wedding / wedding celebration / wedding ceremony / wedding day / weddings by Kathy

Finding opportunity in crisis is a characteristic of resilient people. Our resilience is being tested daily as we continue to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic, especially in relation to the milestone moments in life. If you got engaged in 2019 or early 2020 you likely expected your wedding planning to follow a fairly predictable path. All of that got turned upside down when the pandemic reached our area in March of this year.

For engaged couples trying to plan a wedding in recent months the uncertainties have been overwhelming. How many people will be allowed to gather? Is my chosen venue even open? How can a wedding party practice social distancing? Will guests feel safe attending my wedding? Can family and friends travel for the festivities? When will this end?

All of these questions have caused stress for already engaged couples planning 2020 ceremonies. And then there are couples who feel ready to get engaged, but struggle to figure out how to even begin planning a wedding with all the uncertainties in front of them.

Finding opportunity in crisis is possible, however, so do not lose heart. Begin by prioritizing the elements of your wedding day. What is most important to you? The ceremony? The party? The dance? Having your grandparents witness your exchange of vows? Or simply being married and able to begin your marriage journey together? Depending on your answer, finding opportunity in crisis will be different for each of you.

If you want to be married most of all, you can consider a simple certificate signing in front of the legally required witnesses (and maybe a couple of other people). If you want a large gathering, including older friends and relatives, postponing your wedding day may be the right answer for you. Perhaps an intimate gathering with 20 or so people, including a sweet ceremony and significant vows followed by an informal meal where social distancing can be observed and face coverings can be worn may be perfect.

If you choose a certificate signing or intimate ceremony for now, remember that you can plan a larger celebration after the pandemic passes. That celebration can include a wonderful, personal ceremony, too. Wedding ceremonies usually serve the dual purpose of legally marrying you and voicing your commitment and promises in front of the people important to you. But those two purposes can be separated. You can legally marry now and share a wonderful wedding day including a ceremony honoring the commitment you made to each other earlier in private.

Finding opportunity in crisis means thinking outside the box, looking for different ways to accomplish your goals, and bringing creativity to your wedding planning. While there are benefits to being legally married, remember to honor your love and commitment with family and friends when circumstances allow you to do so. When this crisis passes, I believe that we’ll recognize and treasure the opportunities to celebrate life’s milestones with our communities of family and friends even more.

Planning for 2020 Weddings

January 8, 2020 in Ceremony / Engagement / Personalization / Venue / Wedding traditions / Wedding Vows / Weddings tagged engaged / engagement / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / wedding traditions / weddings by Kathy

Planning for 2020 weddings, and beyond, has become a priority task for all the couples who are newly engaged following the recent holiday season. Congratulations again to all of you as you celebrate your engagements and begin the process of figuring out what will come next. No matter who you are, what you envision for your day, where you want it to be held, or who you will enlist to help you with the myriad tasks you will discover as you move forward, this is and will be an exciting time in your life.

The best advice I can offer as you begin planning for 2020 weddings (or any future date) is to decide what 3 to 5 things are really important to you. This will help you focus on where to spend your time, effort and money as you plan for the big day. That doesn’t mean you can ignore all the other aspects of your wedding day. But perhaps you will spend less of your wedding budget on those items, or will enlist the help of family or friends who have talents or experience in those areas.

As you begin your wedding planning process I encourage you to identify your wedding date as soon as possible. Venue availability or key vendor availability will help you select a date, and once you have the date and location there are many more tasks that you can work on.

Remember, too, that wedding traditions are based on hundreds of years of couples getting married. Some may not fit you, and it is more than OK to jettison those that don’t. Maybe you don’t want to be “given away” at your ceremony, call all the single women to the floor for a bouquet toss, or find the garter ritual embarrassing. None of those things have to be part of your wedding day.

Rather, you’ll want to fill your day with moments that reflect you. Perhaps your centerpieces will be board game or book themed because those reflect how you spend your time. Maybe you’ll look for ways to include your family members who have played important roles in your life to date. Or perhaps you’ll place a priority on writing your own vows so the highlight of your ceremony is the two of you making the promises most important to you, in a style that reflects you and your relationship.

It helps to keep all of the above in mind as you begin to define your wedding day. Planning for 2020 weddings (and beyond) will be a big part of your coming months, but remember to take time for the two of you as a couple. Focus on your love that brought you to this place, have fun together doing something NOT wedding related, and enjoy this time in your life.

Congratulations!

December 25, 2019 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Engagement / Weddings tagged engagement / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by Kathy

Congratulations to all of you who are receiving or giving rings this holiday season. Congratulations on choosing to make a public commitment to each other in marriage. As you share the happy news with family and friends in coming days, celebrate the love you’ve found together as you begin to plan your future, too.

Your wedding day will be a big part of that future. It is your opportunity to gather those people most important to you to celebrate with you. It is your opportunity to voice your heartfelt promises to each other in front of those very people. You’ll want your wedding day to be memorable and to reflect who you are as a couple.

Perhaps you will choose an intimate ceremony followed by a big celebration. Or maybe a large gathering to share your entire day fits you best. It’s possible that you will choose a small, low key, ceremony followed by a family dinner as your perfect wedding day. No matter what kind of day you envision for yourself, there will be many details to attend to.

Those details should never overshadow the reason for the day you’re planning. Your love and commitment to build your future together. Even when wedding planning feels overwhelming, it’s a good idea to set it aside and take a walk together or share a special meal where you can reconnect with good conversation, and remind yourselves why you’re planning a wedding in the first place.

If you’re planning a medium to large wedding you’ll want to secure your wedding venue(s) first. Many couples are taking advantage of the varied facilities at local venues to plan their ceremony and reception in one place. This simplifies things for you when planning and allows your guests to only need to locate one venue on the wedding day.

With your venue, and by extension your wedding date established, it will be time to begin to secure the services of the other wedding vendors you’ll need to complete your day. Your photographer, musicians, caterer and florists will all be on the list. Don’t forget to include your wedding celebrant in this early planning, too. Popular wedding dates book very early, so signing contracts or agreement documents with all of us is something you’ll want to close on as soon as possible. Especially if you’re looking at a 2020 wedding date it’s essential to move quickly.

Congratulations again to all newly engaged couples. I hope you have great fun celebrating with family and friends during the days to come. And as we move into the new year, I hope to hear from many of you as you begin to nail down all the plans for your upcoming wedding day!

The Optimal Engagement: How Long Should It Be?

December 4, 2019 in Engagement / Weddings tagged engagement length / length of engagement / officiant / optimal engagement / wedding venues by Kathy

The optimal engagement length will vary based on many factors. It’s a good idea to begin your wedding planning with an open mind and lots of flexibility. Your venue(s) are likely to be the thing that determines how long your engagement will be as many of them book far in advance. But there are ways to plan your wedding in only a few months if that’s what you want or need to do.

Highly favored wedding venues for both your ceremony and reception are likely to be booked far in advance if you are looking for a popular month in your area. Here in Minnesota we’re seeing a shift from May and June as the most popular wedding months to September and October. So if you want a fall Saturday at an in-demand venue like the Mayowood Stone Barn, you may be scheduling a year or even two years in advance. If you are willing to consider a wedding between November and April you’ll have more venues and dates to choose from.

Friday and Sunday dates, even during peak months, may also provide you with more options and shorter lead times. You may even benefit from reduced prices on these days, although that is by no means certain. When choosing the day for your wedding you’ll want to make sure that the most important people on your guest list are available to share in your special day.

Flexibility is key in the selection of your venue(s), too. Depending on the size and formality of your wedding, you might consider places like Plummer House, Studio 324, or even local restaurants or backyards. Thinking outside the box, especially if you have a smaller guest list, can open up some lovely and interesting options.

Other vendors that you will want to book early are your photographer, musicians and officiant. Especially if you want the people with the best reputations and experience you’ll find that calendars book early. Again, you’ll find more availability on non-Saturday dates in late fall and winter months. Finding a date that works for you, your key guests, and your key vendors will allow you to settle on your wedding date and move forward with your planning.

The optimal engagement length also provides time for you and your fiance(e) to continue to grow your relationship. This is a time to consider how well matched you are for the long term so you can walk down the aisle confident that you are marrying the right person. If I had to pick the optimal engagement length that allows you to do this important work, along with all the tasks associated with planning a significant wedding event, I would choose around a year.

If you don’t have that much time for whatever reason, remember that you can be married in a simple ceremony, surrounded by a few important family and friends, in a much shorter time. I’ve even performed the simplest of weddings on the same day I was contacted by a couple. So begin your wedding planning as soon as you’re engaged. Decide what is important to you in a wedding, and that will determine the optimal engagement for you.

Newly Engaged Couples – Congratulations!

January 1, 2019 in Celebrant / Engagement / Officiant / Venue / Weddings tagged celebrant / engaged / engagement / newly engaged / officiant / venue / wedding / weddings by Kathy

To all newly engaged couples, I offer my congratulations, and welcome you to the wonderful world of wedding planning. The holiday season – from Thanksgiving through New Years – is the busiest time of the year for engagements, so you are in good company as newly engaged couples. Often upon announcing your engagement, the first question to come up is, “Do you have a date yet?” While it may seem overwhelming with so many decisions in front of you, setting your date is the right place to start.

To set your date, though, you’ll need to discuss a few things including:
– do you want to have your wedding where you live now, where one of you grew up, or maybe a destination wedding is the right choice for you? Answering this question will help you identify the city/area to focus on.
– do you have a specific time of year you want to get married? It’s best if you maintain some flexibility here as some dates will already be booked.
– do you have a particular kind of venue in mind? Maybe a barn wedding or a celebration at a winery is your dream, or perhaps you’re looking for an elegant ballroom or loft event or a simple backyard gathering.

Once you have a vision for the where, when and what your ideal wedding day looks like, you’re ready to start researching venues that meet your criteria. I can’t impress on newly engaged couples enough to jump on this level of planning immediately after you become engaged (or even before if you know a wedding is in your near future). Many popular venues book a year or more in advance, so it is never too soon to begin your search. That said, if you have some flexibility, you might still be able to book your favorite venue – maybe for a Friday or Sunday celebration if all the Saturdays are booked.

As soon as you know your wedding date and venue, it’s time to begin your next round of research and secure the following vendors for your day:
1. Celebrant or officiant
2. Photographer
3. Planner or coordinator (if you plan to hire a professional)
4. Caterer (if food in not provided by your venue)
5. Florist
6. Bridal Salon for your dress (especially if your wedding date is closer in than 9 months away)

There are a number of tools available to help newly engaged couples navigate the complex task of planning your wedding day. Make sure to check out online tools at sites like Wedding Wire or The Knot along with articles at sites like Brides and Weddingbee. There are also hard copy books, binders and specialized planners available if you prefer to use something you can literally put your hands on.

The Engagement Season is certainly upon us. I’ve been booking 2019 weddings for a number of months, but my email and phone have definitely seen increased activity in the last week. So congratulations and welcome to all newly engaged couples. I look forward to hearing from you when you’re ready to select your wedding celebrant to help you have the ceremony of your dreams.

Creating your ceremony