Ceremony

Moving Beyond the Big Three – Create Meaningful Ceremony

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Personalization / Trends  tagged coming of age ceremony / divorce ceremony / milestone birthday ceremony / retirement ceremony / transition ceremony by

Moving beyond the big three allows you to consider other moments in life that might benefit from meaningful ceremony. In recent weeks I’ve written about the big three: weddings, naming ceremonies, and memorial services. Now it’s time to discuss some lesser considered milestones that are enhanced when you honor them with a ceremony component.

Milestone birthdays: A new decade or coming of age are great opportunities to celebrate with ceremony. Mark an 80th or 90th birthday (or any other you choose to celebrate) with a tribute ceremony. Family members and friends can recall special times shared with the honoree or share how they have influenced the speaker’s life. Mementos of the honoree’s life can be displayed, and their accomplishments can be shared. You’ll definitely want to give the honoree a chance to address the group, too, and share both wisdom and gratitude for those who have gathered. A 16th or 21st birthday can recognize the transition from child to adult.

Professional transitions: Perhaps someone obtained a significant promotion, opened a new business, or is transitioning to retirement. These professional milestones can be recognized with a look back at the accomplishments or contributions, and a look forward to the opportunities that lie ahead.

Divorce: Of course, it doesn’t inspire the happiness of the wedding day, but you can’t deny that experiencing divorce is a major life event. As such, ceremony can help you on this journey. Depending on your individual circumstances and preferences you can hold a divorce ceremony shortly after you decide to divorce, with your spouse participating. The objective here is to focus on your intent to walk this path with integrity, maturity, and respect for each other. You might hold a divorce ceremony with your children (especially if under 18), where you each voice your undiminished love for them, and your commitment to keep their needs front and center as you create a new definition of family.
Lastly, as you reach the end of the divorce process, you may benefit from a ceremony where you embrace your new identity, set new goals for your new situation, and receive support from loved ones.

Guest lists for each of these types of ceremonies are smaller than for a wedding or memorial. Sometimes it may be a very small group of immediate family, or supportive friends. The key with all of the ceremonies is to craft the content, setting, guest list and surrounding activities to meet the wishes and needs of the honorees. Moving beyond the big three when considering the role ceremony can play as you move through life can provide wonderful memories and bring you close together with the important people in your life.

Create Meaningful Ceremony – Memorials

 in Ceremony / Memorial services / Personalization  tagged meaningful ceremony / memorial service / personal ceremony by

Create meaningful ceremony to celebrate the important moments in life. In previous weeks I’ve written about creating personal weddings and welcoming a new child to your family. Now it’s time to discuss how to honor a loved one with a poignant memorial service.

Holding a memorial service serves four purposes:

  1. To honor and celebrate the life of the person who has died.
  2. To make space for everyone to say a private good-bye.
  3. To offer and receive support as a community of people who knew the honoree.
  4. To set your feet on a path of grieving leading to healing.
Memorial urn for a Dutch woman – surrounded by tulips

Here are some elements to consider as you work to create meaningful ceremony for a memorial service.

  • Use music to open and close the ceremony. Select pieces that connect to the honoree. Perhaps they were a country music fan, or loved patriotic marches. Classical music can always be used, too, and can be soothing.
  • Bring the honoree into the ceremony through mementos and their life story. Including a favorite team’s jersey or a quilt they made is a great visual. And make sure to share their life story through a biographical sketch.
  • Make space for shared stories. You might opt for “open mic” where guests can spontaneously share some of their interactions. Alternately, you can invite two or three people to share a slightly longer eulogy where they share highlights of the honorees life. For example, a professional colleague may speak about their work life, and an adult grandchild may share stories of time with grandma or grandpa.
  • Since guests may be of varying religious inclinations, it’s respectful to offer a time for silent reflection or prayer. You can use music or perhaps a video picture montage to accompany this time.
  • Finally, you want to draw people together and give them hope for brighter days ahead when their sorrow is not as profound as it is right now.

When you create meaningful ceremony by weaving these elements together you’ll both celebrate and honor the person who has passed. You’ll also support the family and friends in a memorable and appreciated manner.

Next time I’ll be talking about how to create meaningful ceremony around other milestone moments in life. Make sure to check it out in two weeks.

Create Meaningful Ceremony – Welcoming Ceremonies

 in Ceremony / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged child naming / child welcoming / meaningful ceremony / naming ceremony by

Create meaningful ceremony to celebrate the important moments in life. Share your love with a personal wedding as discussed in my last blog post. Welcome a new child to your family with a sweet naming or welcoming ceremony. Honor a loved one with a poignant memorial service. Mark a new phase of life with an inspirational celebration. This week’s focus is on how to create a sweet welcoming or naming ceremony to celebrate a new addition to the family.

Naming or welcoming ceremonies are appreciated by families who are not religious, but want to celebrate the amazing experience of adding to their family. If the child is truly a newborn when the ceremony is held, a Naming Ceremony makes sense. If the child is 6 months or older, a more general Welcoming Ceremony may be more appropriate.

Family puzzle for Child Welcoming ceremony.

In either case, here are a few guidelines to remember:

  • If an infant or small child is the honoree, keep it short and sweet as attention spans are short. You might even want to keep it very informal – gather in a circle and let the little one wander inside while the ceremony happens.
  • Plan the ceremony around the child’s schedule. You don’t want a cranky child in need of a nap when everyone is gathering.
  • Include a ritual or activity that results in some kind of keepsake that can be shared with the child as they grow up and you can tell them about the ceremony.
  • It’s fun and appropriate to recognize parents, grandparents and others you expect to have an ongoing and influential role in the child’s life.
  • Keep the attendance list to family or very close friends. A child welcoming ceremony is often held at home, so keeping the guest list small helps.

With a Welcoming Ceremony you create meaningful ceremony for the parents and family now, and for the child later on when it can be shared with them. It is cause to gather, to celebrate, and to share food as you welcome the newest addition to the family.

Next time I’ll tackle the important memorial service. How to create meaningful ceremony to honor, celebrate and grieve the loss of a loved one.

Create Meaningful Ceremony – Weddings

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / love story / meaningful ceremony / personal ceremony / personal wedding / personalized vows / wedding guests by

Create meaningful ceremony to celebrate the important moments in your life. Share your love with a personal wedding. Welcome a new child to your family with a sweet naming ceremony. Honor a loved one with a poignant memorial service. Mark a new phase of life with an inspirational celebration. This week’s focus is on how to create a personal, custom wedding ceremony.

Your wedding ceremony needs to reflect you as a couple. Here are five ways to ensure that the ceremony is authentic for you and honors the commitment you are making to each other in marriage.

  1. Before the first word of the ceremony is spoken, set the tone with music. Use your favorite genre or select lyrics that speak to you.
  2. Bring your guests into your ceremony by acknowledging the role they’ve had in your lives to date, and asking for their support for your marriage going forward.
  3. Tell your story. Or more accurately, have your officiant retell vignettes that share how your love story evolved.
  4. Write your own vows. The centerpiece of the ceremony, this is your opportunity to make promises to your love that are meant to last a lifetime.
  5. Choose your wedding party intentionally. Select those people who support you and your relationship. Pay less attention to traditional gender roles and matching numbers, and surround yourselves with love.
Personal Wedding Ceremony with modern wedding party

When you create meaningful ceremony to begin your wedding day celebration you express your love in memorable ways. You also engage your guests to celebrate with you and prepare everyone to move on to the next parts of your important day.

Next time I’ll be talking about how to create meaningful ceremony when you’re welcoming new members to the family. Make sure to check it out in two weeks.

Your Secular Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Secular wedding / Weddings  tagged secular ceremony / secular readings / secular wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding party / wedding vows by

Your secular wedding ceremony can be what you truly want it to be. When you’re not constrained by religious requirements, you have the freedom to include only elements that are meaningful to you. The focus of the ceremony can be you as a couple, the love you’ve found together, and the commitment you are making to each other in marriage.

Writing your own vows is a great first step to making your ceremony your own. If you’re not comfortable with that idea, you can choose from literally hundreds of “repeat after me” style vows. Your vows are the public statement of your commitment to each other, so it’s important that they express the promises you want to make. Choosing a reading that reflects your priorities and feelings about love or marriage is another great way to personalize your ceremony. With a secular ceremony your reading can be sourced from any poetry, prose or quotes that speak to you.

Another benefit of choosing your secular wedding ceremony is that you don’t have to include a sermon or homily by your officiant. You can use that time to have your celebrant share highlights of your love story, include an additional reading, or simply have a shorter ceremony. Unity ritual options are nearly limitless in a secular ceremony, and if you want to have a ritual written just for you, many celebrants are willing to do that.

Wedding party surrounds the couple.

While your secular wedding ceremony can have a look and feel of a traditional ceremony, it doesn’t have to. Options for processionals, wedding parties, the ceremony spaces are limited only by your imagination. Perhaps you want your wedding party to stand in a semi-circle around you rather than in straight lines. If you choose to have only one attendant for each of you, they can stand together on one side with the celebrant on the other side of you, balancing the space and keeping you the center of attention.

Civil requirements for marriage are very minimal. Once you get your legal paperwork for your state, your creativity and the skills of your celebrant are the only limitations you’ll encounter. A personal secular ceremony can be the perfect way to begin your wedding celebration if you are non-religious or of different religions and choose to avoid conflicting requirements. Let your personalities and your love for each other shine and you’re sure to have a wonderful, memorable ceremony for you and for your guests.