Ceremony

Rain, Rain, Go Away

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony weather by

Rain, rain, go away is a sweet line from a sweet children’s song, but the reality of rain on your wedding day isn’t sweet at all. Our weather in Minnesota is so variable, that I always ask couples what their bad weather backup ceremony location is. I’ve had three weddings this season where rain was a factor, and the couples took different approaches to it.

In May the couple proceeded with their outdoor ceremony as planned. Guests sat huddled under umbrellas trying to avoid the chilly rain that continued throughout the ceremony. The bride was very composed and seemed unconcerned about the bad weather. The DJ, however, was uncomfortable with the potential impact of the rain on his equipment. I did make a few modifications to the ceremony to keep things moving and minimize the time people sat in the rain.

In July the couple really, really wanted to have an outdoor ceremony, so we continued with the outdoor plan. The wedding party was mostly protected by the tree we were standing under, but as I looked out at the guests, many of them were holding programs over their heads trying to stay dry.

And then just recently rain impacted a third ceremony. This couple, however, after trying to capture a few outdoor photos, decided to hold the ceremony indoors. The venue set up a ceremony space by moving reception tables aside and setting up rows of chairs. At ceremony time the guests calmly and comfortably awaited the entrance of the wedding party, and the ceremony went off without a hitch.

It’s unusual to have rain impact so many ceremonies in a single year. The weather is one aspect of your wedding day that you have no control over. While you may wish to have the rain, rain, go away, it is best to have a backup plan that you are happy with and willing to implement if necessary. Your guests (and DJ and officiant) will thank you for it.

Simplify Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / COVID-19 / Wedding Ceremony  tagged processional / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding processional by

Simplify your wedding ceremony to gain some practical and some personal benefits. Keeping your ceremony streamlined allows you and your guests to focus on the key elements that allow you to cross the threshold into marriage. And the practical benefits can be significant.

Consider these ways to simplify your wedding ceremony and the benefits to be realized:

  1. Limit the size of your wedding party. Fewer bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, ushers and personal attendants can make it easier to coordinate everything from clothing choices to transportation to photographs. It also makes placing people for the ceremony easier.
  2. Limit the number of people in attendance. Keep your guest list to close family and friends. This opens up venue options and ceremony ritual options and makes coordination and communication easier.
  3. Within the ceremony itself, you can simplify the processional by having grandparents seated in reserved spots before the processional begins. Smaller wedding parties also allow the processional to move more quickly and keeps the focus on the main participants – you two.
  4. Keeping your ceremony shorter is another way to simplify it. Consider limiting yourself to one reading if you choose to have any. You can also choose to omit any unity ritual, unless one has significant meaning for you. Finally, if you aren’t interested in having a personal ceremony, you can opt not to include anything that shares your history or love story.

Simpler wedding ceremonies and simpler weddings in general are a bit easier to plan, will cost less, and will help you keep your focus on the important elements of the day. Last but not least, with the spectre of COVID still with us, you gain flexibility when you simplify your wedding ceremony. With fewer guests, a smaller wedding party and a simpler ceremony you’ll be positioned as best you can be should restrictions be reimposed on gatherings.

Defining Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony  tagged ceremony / ceremony definition / personal ceremony / wedding ceremony by

Defining your wedding ceremony is an opportunity to personalize your wedding day. Minnesota marriage requirements are minimal – basically you have to say you want to be married to each other – so there’s lots of opportunity to make the ceremony your own. An experienced celebrant can help guide you through the process, but your wishes should be paramount.

A good way to begin the process of defining your wedding ceremony is to consider what you’ve seen at other weddings you’ve attended. Were there certain moments you found particularly touching or meaningful? Alternately, were there moments you felt you’d seen at every other wedding or didn’t care for? Share these thoughts with your celebrant as a great starting point for defining your own ceremony.

Next, think about what ceremony elements are important to you. Perhaps you have a poem, reading or song that is significant to you as a couple. Those are perfect elements to include in your ceremony. Maybe you definitely want (or don’t want) to write your own vows. Make sure that your officiant knows about this and is on board.

Writing your own vows is a great way to personalize your wedding ceremony

Another consideration should be any people you want to have a role in your ceremony. Beyond being a bridesmaid or groomsman there are a number of possibilities here. Maybe you want to ask them to be greeters to welcome your guests, or perhaps you want them to offer a reading during the ceremony. If you have family or friends who have artistic talent, perhaps you can ask them to create the backdrop for your ceremony.

And finally, you’ll want to decide if you want your ceremony personalized by including anecdotes or stories from your time together. This is the best way to put your personal stamp on your ceremony, but it’s OK to leave it out if you’re shy, very private or want a very short ceremony. Just realize that in making that choice you’re losing the element of the ceremony that is uniquely yours.

Defining your wedding ceremony involves some thought and decision making, but will result in a ceremony that fits you, that reflects your priorities, and that will be meaningful and memorable. A perfect way to begin your wedding celebration.

Customizing A Simple Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony  tagged personalized ceremony / simple ceremony / simple wedding / Vow exchange by

Customizing a simple ceremony takes only a little thought and time. Even if you opt for an elopement style ceremony – I call it a Vow Exchange ceremony – you can leave your personal mark on it. From venue to vows, from music to rituals, your short and sweet ceremony can still be uniquely yours.

When you’re working with me and choose a Vow Exchange Ceremony you still get to choose from sample vows that I offer. And of course, a great way to personalize your ceremony is to write your own vows. The promises you make to each other are always going to be unique to you, because your relationship and your personalities are unique. However, if you’re shy, vows can be adapted to allow for a simple, “I do,” response to keep you relaxed and comfortable.

Choosing music to be played as you enter and/or leave the ceremony space is totally optional for these simple ceremonies, but is another way to make the ceremony reflect your personalities. Just make sure you’ve identified the person who will play the music and provided the necessary equipment so the music can be heard by your guests.

Vow Exchange ceremonies don’t usually include a unity ritual following the vows, but one can be added if you wish. Selecting or creating a meaningful unity ritual will certainly make the ceremony memorable for you and your guests.

An additional option for customizing a simple ceremony is by choosing a venue that reflects you as a couple. I recently did two Vow Exchange ceremonies on two consecutive days, and they were very different. One took place at an historic park, included white chairs for the 15 guests, and began with a somewhat elaborate processional. The second ceremony took place on the family farm with three generations of family gathered to celebrate. Guests sat on hay bales covered with hand made quilts. The couple chose a seed planting as their unity ritual, so appropriate for the farm setting.

Vow Exchange Ceremony in historic park
Vow Exchange ceremony on the farm

Both ceremonies were authentically perfect for the couples being married and demonstrate how customizing a simple ceremony can make it memorable for everyone from the couple to the attendants to the guests who come to celebrate. Just remember that wedding ceremonies don’t have to be elaborate, lengthy, or complex to reflect you as a couple.

Choose Your Own Wedding Ceremony Style

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged certificate signing / Full custom ceremony / personal ceremony / Vow exchange / wedding ceremony by

Choose your own wedding ceremony style to ensure that your big day reflects you as a couple. The ceremony starts the wedding day celebration and should be all you want it to be, and only what you want it to be. As our area continues to recover from the COVID-19 pandemic all kinds of wedding ceremonies are once again available, allowing you to choose the style that fits you best.

Full Custom ceremonies are coming back in large numbers. Now that you can gather again with family and friends many couples are busy planning ceremonies that share their story and include readings, unity rituals and all the extras. I’m working hard to accommodate couples who want big ceremonies but are working on tight schedules. Remember to select your officiant at least six months in advance if you want this kind of personalized ceremony.

When you choose your own wedding ceremony style the term “short and sweet” may come to mind. It’s helpful to define this a little more when speaking with potential celebrants. Do you want a personalized ceremony, or prefer not to share a lot of your story? If you’re looking for a 5-10 minute ceremony without a lot of personalization, a Vow Exchange or elopement style ceremony may be the perfect fit. This style allows you to write your own vows or select from a few vow options in the repeat-after-me format. There’s space for a ring exchange if you want one, and even for a reading. This style can be perfect for a shy or more private couple who don’t enjoy being the center of attention. A Vow Exchange also works well for a more casual celebration or for second or subsequent marriages.

The final ceremony style I offer is the Certificate Signing. I sometimes refer to this as a “no ceremony” option because it focuses on meeting the legal requirements for marriage in Minnesota and not much more. You respond to a simple question regarding your intention to join in marriage, I extend good wishes for your marriage, make a pronouncement and invite you to kiss. Legal paperwork is signed and the entire process takes no more than 3 minutes.

I performed many Certificate Signings during the pandemic because that’s all we could do. But now you can choose your own wedding ceremony style again. So if you’re having a big celebration and want a personal ceremony experience, ask for the Full Custom ceremony. A Vow Exchange is perfect for smaller, informal gatherings or when you’re not interested in sharing your personal story. And a Certificate Signing will always be the choice for couples who, “just want to make it legal.” Every couple is unique and has their own style, so just pick the ceremony style that fits you best.