Ceremony

Wedding Rings – An Integral Part of Wedding Ceremonies

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged exchange of rings / wedding ceremony / wedding rings / weddings by

Wedding rings are one of the oldest physical representations of marriage, and the exchange of rings is still an integral part of most wedding ceremonies today. The historical significance of wedding rings is rich and interesting.

In Ancient Rome, the groom would present his bride with an iron ring, which is the origin of today’s metal wedding bands. The durable material symbolized strength and permanence. The Romans, as well as the Greeks, placed the ring on the fourth finger of the left hand because they believed that the finger contained the vena amoris, or the vein of love.

Rings still symbolize the union of two people and identify them as a couple. Although couples in many European countries wear their rings on the right hand, there is a theory that the left ring finger was selected as the preferred choice because the ring would receive less damage since most people are right handed.

In many cultures, it was traditional for only the woman to wear a wedding ring. This was also true in the United States prior to World War II. During the war, many servicemen wore their wedding rings as a sign of commitment and as a way to remember their wives while stationed overseas. The tradition continued during the Korean War. After this, wedding ring sets became more popular among civilians as well. The popularity of wedding rings has brought about many diverse styles. In addition to gold, silver and platinum, you can now get durable silicone rings, which are ideal for active couples.

While most couples choose to both give and receive rings in modern wedding ceremonies, sometimes ring wearing is precluded by profession (machinists and some medical professionals are examples here) or by personal preference. In these cases a single ring ritual can still be included in the wedding ceremony with both the giver and wearer acknowledging the significance of the ring as a sign of lasting love and commitment.

Many couples choose to include an additional “unity ritual” in their ceremonies, but the exchange of wedding rings remains the original and lasting sign of the promises of love and commitment voiced in the wedding vows. As I say in many of the ceremonies I write, the rings announce to the world, “I love… and I am loved.” When you glance at your wedding rings may you remember the promises made to and by you, and may you remember the special day you shared those promises with the world.

Amplifying Voices for Your Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged amplification / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Amplifying voices for your ceremony can be an overlooked item when planning for your wedding day. But with your guests gathering from near and far you want to make sure they can hear the ceremony and those special vows that take you across the threshold into marriage.

Even if you’re having an intimate ceremony with immediate family and friends you’ll want to consider amplifying voices for your ceremony. Outdoor ceremonies are especially prone to audio issues as the wind can take voices away from your guests, street noise and even the noises of nature can be louder than you expect. You definitely want to visit your venue on the day of week and as close to your ceremony time as possible to evaluate the area for ambient noises. The rumbling of a refrigerator truck at the loading dock of a golf club during a Friday afternoon ceremony a few years ago would have been disastrous if microphones had not been in place.

Wedding venues sometimes have audio equipment that can be used or rented for your ceremony. If you have a DJ providing music for the ceremony they may be able to provide microphones for the celebrant and readers, too. Because amplifying voices is so important, I’ve invested in a few different portable systems so I can provide what is needed for ceremonies, and some other celebrants do as well. Make sure that you discuss the audio needs with your celebrant and any soloists and make arrangements to have the right audio equipment in place for your ceremony.

Special audio considerations will be needed if your venue does not have electricity (there are battery powered audio systems available, too). You’ll need to figure out what kinds of microphones are needed – hand held, wearable (lavalier or headset), wired or wireless, and if stands are needed. Different audio systems provide for different numbers and kinds of audio inputs, too, so make sure that any system you plan to use can accommodate the number and kind of devices you need.

Using microphones for your personal vows allows your guests to share this important moment in your ceremony.

On a final note, make sure that a sound check is done before the ceremony begins and that a knowledgeable person is available to manage the audio equipment so amplifying voices for your ceremony is seamless and inconspicuous. Your guests can then focus on what they are hearing and experiencing with you as you make your promises and begin your marriage.

Unplugged Ceremonies: A Growing Trend

 in Ceremony / Guests / Weddings  tagged unplugged ceremony / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests by

Unplugged ceremonies are a growing trend for weddings. Simply put, an unplugged ceremony means your guests leave their phones and other devices in their pockets or purses during the ceremony. There are a few reasons to consider having an unplugged ceremony:

  1. Your photographer can do a better job. I’ve seen people step into the aisle to get a picture of the bride as she enters, totally cutting off the photographer who you’ve paid to capture the important moments of your wedding day.
  2. All your guests can see better. No one is standing or holding a device up in front of other guests trying to capture your entire ceremony on video, or taking lots of pictures.
  3. Your guests are able to be fully present with you during the ceremony. Guests will stay in their seats and pay attention to the celebrant, readers, musicians and most importantly to you as you share your promises to each other. No one will step in front of your parents to get a picture or video of the ring exchange as happened at one wedding I officiated.

You can achieve an unplugged ceremony with a tasteful sign at the back of the chairs, inviting guests to put their devices away so they can fully share in your ceremony. An even more effective way to communicate your wishes is to have your celebrant make a simple announcement before the processional begins. People sometimes don’t read signs, or feel comfortable ignoring them, but rarely do they hold their devices up after being specifically requested not to.

When I glance out at your gathered guests at an unplugged wedding I see smiles, perhaps a happy tear, and many sets of eyes focused on you and engaged in the moment. Otherwise it can be like looking at a sea of screens as nearly everyone tries to snap a picture or frame a video shot. While unplugged ceremonies are gaining in popularity, I’ve also encountered couples who have no concern with their guests snapping away during the ceremony, so as with all aspects of your wedding day, you can choose what best fits you.

Vow Renewals: Affirming Your Love and Commitment

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Vow Renewals / Weddings  tagged ceremonies / vow renewal ceremonies / vow renewals / wedding renewals / weddings by

Vow renewals interest to couples for a variety of reasons. But whatever the reason you’re considering a vow renewal ceremony, rest assured that it can be as special and significant as the first time you said, “I do”.

Traditionally vow renewals are held to mark a milestone anniversary – often 25 or even 50 years of marriage. And that’s still a great reason to gather your family and friends together and celebrate your very successful marriage. Vow renewals of this kind can renew treasured memories by including a reading or song from your first wedding. You can even recite the same vows you made to each other “back in the day”. And of course you might use the same color scheme, carry a similar bouquet, or have some of your original wedding party stand up with you once more.

Vow renewals are also wonderful if you opted for an elopement or courthouse wedding the first time around. Your vow renewal ceremony can be the big wedding you never had, or a simpler but significant experience. You can select a wedding party, wear a gown and tux or suit, perhaps have your children serve as flower girls or ring bearers if they are of an appropriate age. Since you’re already married, you might opt to enter the ceremony space together, but if you always dreamed of having your father or parents walk you down the aisle go ahead and start the ceremony that way. This kind of vow renewal ceremony can be created with all the personalization, rituals and elements of a first wedding. You’re limited only by your creativity and vision for your perfect ceremony.

A very special kind of vow renewal ceremony can be created if you’ve experienced a difficult time as a couple, and are coming back together now to re-commit yourselves to your marriage. You can opt for a very small, personal ceremony in this case, but feel free to opt for a larger celebration with family and friends if that feels right. Under these circumstances the ceremony can be your public statement of commitment and love to each other. It can mark a new beginning, a fresh slate, and a sincere promise to live up to the promises/vows you choose to make to each other.

Vow renewals can be as elaborate, formal and unique as you want them to be. They can also be brief, simple ceremonies offered as part of a larger celebration. Whatever the particular circumstances that cause you to consider vow renewals, there is a ceremony that can be crafted that will be personal, meaningful and memorable for you and that will fit your personality and style. Vow renewals are a great way to celebrate your love and commitment to each other, and mark another milestone moment in your life.

Marriage Is What Happens After the Wedding

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged engagement / engagement discussions / Marriage / weddings by

Marriage is what happens after the wedding day. While it’s easy to get caught up in all the fun and excitement of wedding planning – we’ll leave all the stress and anxiety of wedding planning for another day – it’s equally important to remember that your wedding day is only the beginning and marriage is what happens after the wedding is over.

Hopefully you’ve made the decision to marry when you feel confident that you know your partner well, when you believe that you are compatible for the long haul, and after you’ve had many deep discussions about your expectations of each other going forward. But sometimes, when you’re excited about falling in love, finding your “other half” and proposing or being proposed to, you might have missed some of the discussions you need to have before marrying.

Here’s a link to a great list of questions to consider and talk over with your partner before signing a wedding certificate. Some of the questions are very personal – about your sex life and intimacy expectations. Some are very practical – about handling finances and careers. And some questions are about long term, big picture hopes and dreams. Each of these categories deserves your time and attention as you ask and answer these questions with each other. Common wisdom says that the two biggest issues in marriages that don’t make it revolve around sex and money. You’ll be able to enter your marriage confident in yourselves and each other if you’ve honestly tackled the questions in this list.

Engagements serve two purposes: giving you time to plan the wedding day you want, but also giving you time to continue to grow as you anticipate your future together. While you want your wedding day to be special, authentic, memorable and unique, remember that marriage is what happens after the wedding day. You want to invest yourselves in making sure that you are giving your marriage every chance to succeed, so don’t overlook those big and important discussions along the way.