Ceremony

Celebrate Your Uniqueness

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Personalized Ceremony / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Wedding Ceremony  tagged custom rituals / personalized wedding / unity rituals / wedding ceremony / weddings by


Your wedding ceremony is a great opportunity to celebrate your uniqueness. Weddings can be full of traditions that are fun to include in your day, but make sure you include all that makes you special as a couple.

Weddings have been changing for awhile now, which offers you the chance to make the day a personal reflection of yourselves and your relationship. Traditions like bouquet and garter toss at the reception and “giving away” the bride at the ceremony can be left out if you prefer. And new rituals and ceremony approaches that better reflect you can be added.

I strive to make each ceremony I craft for a couple unique to them. Sharing their story is part of the beginning of the ceremony. My goal is for all the guests to learn something new about the couple. If they are interested, I encourage couples to write their own vows. It is another way to let their personalities shine.

Unity Ritual - Sazerac creation
Unity Ritual – Sazerac creation

Unity rituals are an obvious opportunity to celebrate your uniqueness. A trip to New Orleans was a significant event for a couple I married recently. For their unity ritual we had them build a Sazerac cocktail – the official cocktail of New Orleans. I used the characteristics of the ingredients – sweet, bitter, strong, and unique to craft a metaphor for marriage. This is the first Sazerac ritual I’ve written in the more than 500 ceremonies I’ve officiated. It was perfect for them. While there are many lovely “generic” unity rituals available, many can also be customized to
celebrate your uniqueness with a little effort.

An experienced, educated celebrant can work with you to write a wedding ceremony that reflects and celebrates you and the love you share. Start your wedding day with a ceremony that will celebrate your uniqueness as you voice your commitment to each other in marriage.

Remembering Beloved Pets

 in Ceremony / Personalized Ceremony / Pet memorials  tagged pet memorial / pet memorials / remembering pets by

Remembering beloved pets is an important part of life for many people. Pets are often viewed as family members these days, and we need to make space to grieve them when they die. Pet memorials are becoming more common as people seek ways to remember, honor, and say good-bye to much loved pets.

On a recent trip to Scotland I visited Edinburgh Castle and saw a great example of how they are remembering beloved pets. The castle has been and continues to be home to military personnel. They have established a special area of the castle grounds devoted to remembering beloved pets of the men and women serving there.

When seeking to honor and grieve a pet, having a space like this can be a comfort to their owners. It provides a physical space to visit to remember their pet, and allow them to feel closer to them. Another way to ease the pain of losing a pet is to hold a memorial service for them. Just as we do for the important people in our lives, a pet memorial offers a dedicated space and time to celebrate the life of a companion of many years.

A pet memorial can include shared memories of good times with the pet. You can gather mementos of their life – a favorite toy or blanket, their collar and leash, or even some of their favorite treats. These items can be used to prompt stories of your pet’s personality, shared experiences and adventures, and their favorite things.

Just like a memorial for a person, the best pet memorials are personalized, focus on both their life, acknowledge their passing, and offer a time for shared grief and support as you say your final good-byes. Remembering beloved pets with a pet memorial can help you process the very real feelings of grief you experience when they cross the rainbow bridge.

Dealing with Crazy Relatives

 in Ceremony / Guests / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony problems / wedding guests / wedding officiant / weddings by

Dealing with crazy relatives at your wedding ceremony can be a challenge. A variety of situations can occur at your wedding ceremony that need diplomatic solutions to keep everything moving forward smoothly.

Before the ceremony even begins, logistical issues can arise. When lining up the wedding party before one ceremony, the bride became flustered when she noticed that the seats reserved for her parents were occupied. An aunt was sitting in one of the seats, next to the grandfather’s wheelchair. With the bride’s concurrence, I approached the woman and politely asked her to move down the row, as these two seats were reserved for the bride’s parents.

Her response surprised me. She said they could take other open seats; that she was assisting the grandfather. I told her the bride’s mother (also the grandfather’s daughter) would be sitting there in just a moment. I suggested she move either further down the first row, or to the second row with her adult children. Then, I quietly stood there. After a few moments she moved further down the row. I returned to check in with the bride, and then started the ceremony. Having ushers who can either seat guests or oversee the seating of guests could have prevented this situation.

Cameras and phones can also prove troublesome in the wrong hands. At another wedding, an aunt of the groom stepped into the aisle to catch pictures of the bride as she entered. She didn’t realize (I hope) that she stepped directly in front of the professional photographer who was also trying to capture that image. These moments happen so quickly during a ceremony that it is difficult for photographers to relocate for an unobstructed view. To prevent dealing with crazy relatives like this one, I can request that guests put their phones and cameras away for the ceremony so they can be fully present with the couple. This is called an unplugged ceremony. It also ensures that any professional photos taken during the ceremony include the guests’ faces, and not a sea of upraised phones.

Dealing with crazy relatives takes some thought and preventive actions. You can’t think of everything, but some situations can be anticipated and avoided. Working with an experienced celebrant can help you consider and even react to the situations that arise unexpectedly.

Five Important Questions to Ask Wedding Celebrants

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Secular wedding / Wedding Celebrant / Wedding Ceremony / Weddings  tagged officiant / wedding / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by


There are five important questions to ask wedding celebrants when selecting the person to create and offer your ceremony. This article has an even more exhaustive list, but these five will give you the most critical information. While it can feel a bit intimidating engaging with celebrants or officiants, they are there to help you have the wedding you envision. They are ready and willing to provide the information you need to decide if you want to work with them.


Kathy officiating ceremony

The five important questions to ask wedding celebrants

  1. Are you available on our wedding date? Do you serve our venue? These are very practical questions that should be asked up front. If the answer to either is “no”, you don’t need to invest more time with that celebrant.
  2. Are you legally credentialed to officiate marriages in our state/county/city? Another simple but essential question. You want your ceremony to legally marry you. Each state, and sometimes more local jurisdictions has different laws defining who can legally marry people.
  3. Do you offer the non-religious (or particular type of religious) ceremony we are interested in? As participation in organized religion drops, more people want a secular or non-religious ceremony. Celebrants who are affiliated with a religion will often not offer a secular ceremony. Or they will slip in god references, often without thinking about it. You can have the kind of ceremony you want if you ask for it.
  4. Will we be able to have input to the ceremony? How will that happen? Some celebrants do not provide a draft of the ceremony to couples before the wedding day. If you want to participate in the creation of your ceremony, or want reassurance that it will meet your expectations, ask how this can happen.
  5. If we want to have a rehearsal, will you attend and run it for us? Rehearsals are a great way to reduce stress and make everyone comfortable before the wedding day. If you plan to hold a rehearsal you’ll want to know if your celebrant will come and run it for you.

Important Questions to Ask Yourselves

While those are the five important questions to ask wedding celebrants, there are equally important questions to ask yourselves. After meeting with a prospective officiant or celebrant ask yourselves: Do we feel comfortable with this person? Will we be able to ask questions of them? Do we think they will respect our wishes and input for the ceremony? Do they provide a ceremony contract that documents our agreement?

Obtain answers to these five important questions to ask wedding celebrants. Follow with the questions to ask yourselves and you’ll be on your way to selecting your ideal wedding celebrant.

Making Space

 in Ceremony / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding planning  tagged ceremony planning / ceremony space / wedding ceremony / wedding planning by

Making space at your ceremony venue for all ceremony activities is an important part of your wedding planning. If you are having an outdoor ceremony, or an indoor ceremony where the front of the space is not well defined, you’ll want to plan for how much space you’ll need.

You want space at the front of your ceremony venue to gracefully accommodate you, your celebrant, and your wedding party. But you also need to allocate space for your reader to stand. You may also need a table for any ritual props. Don’t forget to save space for anyone else who is participating in the ceremony. This could be children helping with a family ritual, or parents (or others) helping with a handfasting or other ritual. If you are having floral arrangements, arches, or other decor, space will need to be planned for that, too.

As you consider all this, you’ll realize there may be a lot of people and things that need to be in the ceremony space. If you don’t have enough space you increase the chances of people tripping, dresses being crushed, or decor being tipped. And your photos of the ceremony may show cramped wedding parties or awkward positioning.

Make sure you place the chairs for your guests far enough back to provide the space you need. But don’t let them drift so far back that they feel disconnected from what’s happening. This is where a rehearsal can be very helpful. When you get your entire wedding party, you two, and your celebrant up in front, you’ll get a real feel for the space. At that time you can consider placement for your decor, ceremony props and guest chairs. Walking through the ceremony at rehearsal allows you to choose where a reader stands, where to place a ritual table, and how everyone will move in the space. Making space for everything and everyone becomes more real at a rehearsal and will help the actual ceremony run smoothly.