Celebration

Vow Renewals: Affirming Your Love and Commitment

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Vow Renewals / Weddings  tagged ceremonies / vow renewal ceremonies / vow renewals / wedding renewals / weddings by

Vow renewals interest to couples for a variety of reasons. But whatever the reason you’re considering a vow renewal ceremony, rest assured that it can be as special and significant as the first time you said, “I do”.

Traditionally vow renewals are held to mark a milestone anniversary – often 25 or even 50 years of marriage. And that’s still a great reason to gather your family and friends together and celebrate your very successful marriage. Vow renewals of this kind can renew treasured memories by including a reading or song from your first wedding. You can even recite the same vows you made to each other “back in the day”. And of course you might use the same color scheme, carry a similar bouquet, or have some of your original wedding party stand up with you once more.

Vow renewals are also wonderful if you opted for an elopement or courthouse wedding the first time around. Your vow renewal ceremony can be the big wedding you never had, or a simpler but significant experience. You can select a wedding party, wear a gown and tux or suit, perhaps have your children serve as flower girls or ring bearers if they are of an appropriate age. Since you’re already married, you might opt to enter the ceremony space together, but if you always dreamed of having your father or parents walk you down the aisle go ahead and start the ceremony that way. This kind of vow renewal ceremony can be created with all the personalization, rituals and elements of a first wedding. You’re limited only by your creativity and vision for your perfect ceremony.

A very special kind of vow renewal ceremony can be created if you’ve experienced a difficult time as a couple, and are coming back together now to re-commit yourselves to your marriage. You can opt for a very small, personal ceremony in this case, but feel free to opt for a larger celebration with family and friends if that feels right. Under these circumstances the ceremony can be your public statement of commitment and love to each other. It can mark a new beginning, a fresh slate, and a sincere promise to live up to the promises/vows you choose to make to each other.

Vow renewals can be as elaborate, formal and unique as you want them to be. They can also be brief, simple ceremonies offered as part of a larger celebration. Whatever the particular circumstances that cause you to consider vow renewals, there is a ceremony that can be crafted that will be personal, meaningful and memorable for you and that will fit your personality and style. Vow renewals are a great way to celebrate your love and commitment to each other, and mark another milestone moment in your life.

What Happens at a Secular Wedding?

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Personalization / Secular wedding / Weddings  tagged secular ceremonies / secular ceremony / secular wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

“What happens at a secular wedding?” is a common question for couples who have been raised in a religious tradition. The answer is simple. Pretty much whatever you want. In Minnesota, the only requirements to make a marriage legal are to have the proper paperwork, two witnesses, and say you want to be married to each other. It can be as simple as that, but most couples want to mark this important moment in their lives with something more significant.

Traditional weddings often have religious prayers, rituals and readings, so it is very reasonable to ask what happens at a secular wedding when you remove all of that. Does it still look like a wedding as you know it? Will you feel married after a secular wedding? What will your guests think of your secular wedding?

Rest assured that your secular wedding can still have much of the look and feel of a traditional wedding, if that is your wish. You can have a meaningful, possibly even a more meaningful exchange of vows, and secular weddings can be significant, memorable experiences for you as a couple and for your guests.

The general approach is to use secular wording, readings and rituals in place of religious language and actions. In your secular wedding you have a virtually unlimited choice of music. Any genre, live or recorded, can be used. You can select from contemporary poetry or literature for a reading, or use passages from ancient writers and poets if you prefer. There are a variety of secular, meaningful unity rituals to choose from, too. From tree plantings to love letters to handfastings and beer sharings, there is something for everyone who wants a unity ritual in their wedding. And that’s the beauty of secular weddings.

So now you know why the answer to the question, “What happens at a secular wedding?” is, “Pretty much whatever you want.” Your ceremony can be written or modified for you since there are no rules imposed by religious authorities. It can be authentic because you select the what and how of all the elements of your ceremony. This is a great opportunity to put your personal stamp on this important part of your wedding day. Work with your celebrant to ensure all aspects of your ceremony reflect who you are and what you are promising to each other in marriage. Have fun collaborating to create your perfect ceremony for your special day.

Three Tips Can Make Your Ceremony Memorable

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony tips / memorable wedding / wedding ceremony by

Three tips can make your ceremony memorable for the rest of your life. Without focus on your part the ceremony can become a blur instead of the most significant part of your wedding day. These three tips will help you get the most from your ceremony and help launch the rest of your wedding celebration.

Tip 1: Let the stress go. Don’t think about things that have or might go wrong with your celebration. Don’t worry about the dinner and dance yet to come, or wonder whether the reception space is ready to go. Before you walk down the aisle, take a few deep breaths to center yourself so you can be in the moment.

Tip 2: Savor the moment. Now that you’re experiencing your walk up the aisle and your ceremony, see your guests who have gathered. Hear your celebrant as she shares your story and celebrates all that marriage can be. Feel the love surrounding you from your partner, your wedding party, your family and friends. Touch your partner’s hands and know they are with you every step of the way.

Tip 3: Lead with your heart. As you say your vows, really focus on the love you feel for your partner and the promises you are making to them. And as you receive your partner’s vows listen closely and maintain eye contact with them. These moments are setting the stage for your future together and you want to remember them clearly.

Remembering these three tips can make your ceremony memorable by bringing it into focus. You’ll have mental snapshots of faces, words, promises, rituals, and of course, your first kiss as a married couple. These memories will carry you through the rest of your wedding day and for years to come as you reflect clearly on the moments that marked this happy, loving milestone moment in your life.

Three Ways to Reduce Stress With Parents

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Weddings  tagged parents / wedding planning / weddings by

There are three ways to reduce stress with parents when planning your wedding. You don’t have to look far on the internet to find stories of wedding planning disasters that revolve around the couple and their parents. But it is possible to keep the peace with the parents and have the wedding day you want, and these three tips can help you accomplish that.

  1. Recognize that your wedding day is important for all of you. Yes, it is your day, and you should have the wedding you want. But I encourage you to recognize that like your graduation days, like the day you got your first job, or bought your first car, these milestone moments are important to your parents, too. They want to share in your happiness and celebrate this special event with you.
  2. Keep lines of communication open. As you make plans and choices for your wedding day, it’s a great idea to keep all the parents aware of not only the what but the why of the choices you’re making. When you recognize that your wedding day is significant for your parents, too, you can understand that they appreciate knowing what you’re thinking and planning. When you make non-traditional choices, sharing your reasons can make all the difference in how they receive your plans. The couple who chooses an intimate ceremony with only 30 people in attendance and explains to their parents that they are making that choice because one of them is critically shy, are likely to gain support for their choice.
  3. Recognize that wedding planning is an opportunity to set the tone for respectful communication between you and the parents going forward. If you engage with the parents as you would a peer in the workplace – respectfully and as an equal – you’ll avoid issues both now and in the future. Listen to their point of view, consider it, and then make and communicate your perspective and choices clearly and politely.

There’s an article in Wedding Wire titled “6 Things Not To Say To Your Mother-in-law” that is worth reading, although I would expand it to apply to all your parents. It applies the three points I’ve made above. None of this takes away from the fact that it is your wedding day, and you should have the day you want. It only offers three ways to reduce stress with parents and help ensure that you all share in a great celebration of your love and commitment when the wedding day rolls around.

Make Choices That Reflect Who You Are

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Decor / Guests / Personalization / Trends / Weddings  tagged authentic / ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding traditions / weddings by

“Make choices that reflect who you are and what you love, and you’ll have an end result that you can feel super proud of for a long time.” That’s a quote from Allison Davis of Davis Row, a wedding planning company. I encountered that quote recently while reading an article on upcoming wedding trends for 2019. I think it is one of the most important and helpful observations for you to keep in mind when planning your wedding day.

It is so easy to get caught up in all the wedding trends articles, all the pins on Pinterest, all the internet wedding forums, and all the interesting things you’ve seen at weddings you’ve recently attended. The truth is, you can’t include every interesting thing you see. And you really wouldn’t want to. Your budget and your time will put limits on what you ultimately decide to include in your wedding day, but there is good guidance in that opening quote to help you make your decisions.

When you make choices that reflect who you are and what you love, you ensure an authentic, comfortable and unique wedding day. A personalized wedding ceremony can be a great way to kick off your celebration and share your story and your love with your guests. Selecting attire, a venue, flowers, music and even your photographer to match your style and priorities will help ensure that your personalities shine throughout the day.

Remember that you don’t have to accept hardly anything about your day as a “given”. Perhaps you don’t want to have a wedding party at all, keeping you as a couple in the spotlight. Perhaps you’re not a flower person like one bride I worked with who really wanted to carry her video gaming laser gun instead of a bouquet. Go for it! Or like a recent couple I worked with, perhaps you’re not into the whole wedding dance experience. Take a page from their book and offer board games, card games, a huge Jenga game and a couple of bean bag games to entertain your guests. In their case, they included background music to add to the party atmosphere and guests really enjoyed being able to really converse without shouting over loud music.

Whatever your personality and preferences, make choices that reflect who you are and what you love, and you’ll have a happy, comfortable, and memorable wedding day to launch your new adventure called marriage.