Kathy

10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don’t Care About

 in Weddings by

Here’s a link to a recent article titled “10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don’t Care About“. While you may not agree with each of the 10 items listed, I think the underlying message is a good one. There are literally scores of things to consider and make decisions about when planning your wedding. It can become totally overwhelming if you spend a lot of time on each item. You can make your life even more difficult if you get caught up with Pinterest and try to recreate the many cute, but often unnecessary items found there.

So what do you focus on? I’ve written before suggesting that you identify the five or six things that you really value and focus on those. The article above looks at this idea from another angle, suggesting things that your guests might not notice or appreciate, and that you, therefore, don’t need to spend much time (or money) on. At the bottom of the article are also the five things the author claims the guests WILL care about. Hopefully, those will line up fairly closely with the things you care about, too.

Even if you disagree with the author on the items in either list, it’s worth considering this approach. If you’re spending lots of time (or money) on things that you believe your guests won’t notice or value, those might be great candidates to either forgo altogether, delegate to a parent or close friend to handle for you, or make a quick decision on and move forward. This approach will leave you more resources (both time and money) to handle those things that are important to you (and likely also to your guests).

Every couple has a vision for what their wedding day will be, and you want to bring that vision to life as much as possible. By letting go of some of the less important aspects of your day you can ensure that your focus stays on the heart of the day, which is after all, all about the love in your heart.

Can You Hear Me Now?

 in Ceremony / Weddings by

The old TV ad, “Can You Hear Me, Now?”, was cute, but you want to ensure that the important family members and friends who have come to share in your wedding ceremony can hear what’s being said. While indoor ceremony spaces can prove a challenge if there are more than 30 guests, outside ceremony spaces have built in obstacles.

There are a number of noise issues, both natural and man made, that need to be considered. Stand in your ceremony space at about the time of your wedding. Listen carefully. Even if the space is secluded you might have issues with road noise from unseen but nearby roadways. Even the sound of wind in large trees can be a problem. And the sound of water from fountains or rivers can provide great white noise… that totally drowns out the sound of voices. And don’t forget the birds. They can be quite noisy, especially at certain times of the day. The trickiest one to plan for, though, is the wind. If it is strong, and blowing toward your officiant, their voice will be whisked totally away from the guests. And there is no way to plan for or avoid it if it happens.

The solution for all these situations is to make sure that the officiant and any readers, along with the two of you (especially if you’ve written your own vows for the ceremony) all have access to microphones. I have a number of audio systems available for the ceremonies I perform; one that can be plugged into electricity and two of different sizes that run on batteries. I also have a microphone headset that I prefer to wear, along with a hand held wireless microphone for readers and the couple.

Not all officiants have their own equipment, so make sure you ask when interviewing them. Other possible sources for audio equipment are your DJ, if he/she is providing ceremony music, and the venue itself. Audio equipment can also be rented from local rental stores, but if you go that route, make sure there is someone at the wedding who knows how to set-up and run the equipment.

Your wedding ceremony is special. It is the time when you cross the threshold into marriage. It is often something you’ve worked hard on, to ensure that it represents you as a couple. It is the beginning of the celebration on your wedding day. For all these reasons, you want to ensure that you and your guests can all hear the words that voice your commitment to each other and mark the beginning of your marriage journey. Happy listening.

Happy 4th of July

 in Celebration by

Today is the 4th of July, a day filled with sparklers, fireworks, grilled food, sunshine (hopefully) and parades, and family and friends. Independence Day gatherings are one more opportunity to share celebrations as we mark the birthday of our country. Like personal milestones in our lives, community milestones like the 4th of July are a reason to celebrate.

The guests may be more informally dressed and the rituals less symbolic and more recurring traditions, but gathering to celebrate shared values and time with the special people in your life is always time well spent. A 4th of July picnic might not rival a wedding, a baby welcoming or a memorial for a loved one in terms of being memorable in the long term. But the annual celebration can create memories of its own, and just a good time each year.

So celebrate any way you like, but pause for a moment to recognize and appreciate the country we share, the loved ones gathered around you, and the memories being made. Happy 4th!

Moderation, Please!

 in Ceremony / Weddings by

Weddings are often over the top experiences, but alcohol consumption is one area where moderation is the key. I would have hoped not to ever have to write this blog, but it happened again recently, so I guess it needs to be said. It’s important that the bridal party not overindulge before the wedding ceremony.

There is nothing attractive about a groomsman swaying down the aisle or a bridesmaid too inebriated to walk at all. And it’s essential that the couple marrying have their wits about them as they enter into a legal and emotional commitment intended to last a lifetime.

I understand that it’s a long day, often starting early with hair and make-up, and with periods of down time when a beverage is very appealing. I really appreciated the father of the bride at a recent wedding who shared that he had set a “one beer before the ceremony” rule for the groomsmen that day.

I understand that it’s a day to celebrate, and that alcohol is often a part of that, and I’m not anti-alcohol. I do, however, think that as a part of the wedding party you owe it to the couple to be sober and to gracefully fulfill the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid or groomsman. And I do think it’s important for the couple to set the tone for the day.

All that said, it’s better to excuse an inebriated bridesmaid or groomsman from the ceremony than risk someone falling or getting sick at an inopportune time. Processional groupings can be quickly adjusted and the ceremony can continue without delay if someone is not able participate. Few guests will likely notice, and if the person can sober up some they can rejoin the party later for the dinner and reception. Embarrassing, yes. Critical, no. But the best way to handle this situation is to avoid it in the first place. There’s enough emotion, happiness and excitement to fuel the day and guarantee a great celebration, so practice moderation with the alcohol.

The Value of Hiring a Wedding Planner

 in Weddings by

A wedding planner can be a great addition to your wedding day. They can address the unexpected situations that pop up, and relieve you and your parents of the responsibility of managing the schedule and flow of the day.

I’m seeing more couples investing in either a wedding planner or at least a day of coordinator. You may have demanding jobs that prevent you from handling the wide array of wedding details. Or you may know that you’re not a Type A person who enjoys making all the decisions and tracking all the tasks to successful completion. Or you may be holding your wedding far distant from your home, and need someone who can be your arms, legs and eyes closer to the wedding venue. Or you may have a very specific vision for your day, and want to do everything you can to try to bring that to life. In any of these situations, or others unique to you, the cost of a wedding planner may be money well spent.

I’ve seen planners handle the following situations:
– an unexpected thunderstorm that popped up minutes before the ceremony time causing the ceremony to be relocated to an indoor space.
– coordinating and managing the extended families as they arrived for family photos, keeping the process moving smoothly and quickly for the photographer.
– directing guests to restrooms, the gift table, and the ceremony space so they were comfortable and felt welcomed.
– working to find/make space for unexpected guests, and engaging with the caterer to accommodate them for the dinner.
– finding a band-aid for the mother of the bride who needed one only moments before the processional began.
– working with all the vendors and the bridal party to keep the day on schedule.
– and being a buffer for the bride – answering questions from vendors and guests, confidently making last minute decisions, allowing the bride to enjoy her day.

It is certainly possible to hold a wedding without hiring a planner or coordinator, in fact, most of the couples I work with take on the planning role themselves. But if you can swing the planner’s fee in your budget, they are a great way to relieve stress for you and increase the chances that your wedding flows as you want it to.