Kathy

A Moment of Reflection

 in Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding planning by

A moment of reflection can help reduce stress as we all deal with the changes that the COVID-19 pandemic has brought to our lives. Perhaps you are newly engaged and beginning to plan your wedding day. Or perhaps your wedding date is only months away and you’re trying to figure out if you should postpone or hold your date. No matter where you are in the planning process you are likely stressed with the unknowns of what the future will bring. I received the poem below from a colleague, and hope you will find it as helpful in finding perspective as I did.

IN THE TIME OF QUIET by Philippa Atkin

No one’s told the daffodils about the pause to Spring
And no one’s told the birds to roost and asked them not to sing
No one’s asked the lazy bee to cease his bumbling round
And no one’s stopped the bright green shoots emerging through the ground
No one’s told the sap to rest, deep within the wood
And stop the sleepy trees from waking, wreathed about in bud
No one’s told the sky to douse its brightest shades of blue
And stop the scudding clouds from puffing headlong into view
No one’s asked the lambs to still the springs beneath their feet,
To stop their rapid rush and quell each joyful bleat
No one’s told the stream to halt its gurgle or its flow
And warned the playful breezes, not to gust and blow
No one’s asked the raindrops not to fall upon the earth
And fail to quench the soil in the season of rebirth
No one’s locked the sun down, or dimmed the shimmer of the moon
And even in the darkest night, the stars are still immune
Remember what you value, remember who is dear
Close the doors to danger and keep your family near
In the quiet all around us take the time to sit and stare
And wonder at the glory unfurling everywhere
Look towards the future, after the ordeal
And keep faith in Mother Nature’s power and will to heal

Wishing everyone good health and encouraging you to breathe deeply, hug your loved one if you’re able, and remember that this, too, shall pass.

Weddings in the Time of COVID-19

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged COVID-19 / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by

Weddings in the time of COVID-19 are a new concept for all of us. The world has changed drastically in the last few weeks, and no one knows exactly when it will return to “normal”. Couples planning for 2020 weddings are struggling to decide what to do. And there aren’t easy answers.

Couples who have their marriage license in hand might consider having a simple certificate signing with only witnesses and the celebrant present, to be followed by the celebration of the marriage at a later date. I performed a simple certificate signing just yesterday for a couple who had been planning a ceremony next month in another state. We practiced social distancing, passed on handshakes upon meeting, and each used our own pens to sign the license. When it is safe again to gather, they will travel to the location close to family and friends to celebrate the marriage.

For couples with ceremonies booked with me, I am happy to reschedule with you to another available date within a year of your original date. Just contact me and we’ll make the changes. If your ceremony is planned for later in the year, we’ll continue to work on your ceremony until you tell me that it is going to be moved to a later date.

Weddings in the time of COVID-19 became even more difficult for local couples today with the temporary closing of the office that grants marriage licenses. Even a small certificate signing ceremony requires the official paperwork to make the marriage legal.

If you are in the early stages of wedding planning and are looking for a celebrant to work with, we can still move forward. Initial consultation meetings can be held via Skype and communications handled via email or phone. Please reach out to me and I’ll be happy to schedule time with you to discuss your ceremony wishes.

As we all figure out how to deal with weddings in the time of COVID-19, remember that weddings are about love. Lean on the love you have to help ground you in these challenging times, and together we’ll look forward to the days when we’ll be able to gather with loved ones to celebrate your love, your commitment and the beginning of your married life. In the meantime – stay calm and stay well.

Wedding Roles for Children

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged children in weddings / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Wedding roles for children are varied, but it’s important to select the role that fits the child or children. Traditional role for children are as flower girl and ring bearer, but you’re really only limited by your creativity and the children themselves.

For those selecting the traditional roles, consider your child’s age and temperament. Children younger than four often balk at the last minute. You’ll want to have a parent or caregiver with the child at the back of the aisle in case they need to be whisked away. Another friendly face at the front of the ceremony space can help a shy or overwhelmed child make it down the aisle to the safety of those loving arms. The key word if you’re going to have very young children in your processional is flexibility. Not theirs, but yours. As long as you understand that everything may not live up to your vision of perfectly spread flower petals on the aisle, little ones can be adorable and may even steal the show.

Beyond the traditional roles, older children can offer a simple reading, or hand out ceremony programs, or participate in a family unity ritual. It’s fine for you to make promises/vows to your children in a blended family situation, but I suggest you don’t ask the children to speak unless they really want to. It’s important to be respectful of conflicted feelings the children may have as this new family unit is formed.

Adult children may walk you down the aisle, stand with you as best man or maid of honor, offer a reading or participate in a family unity ritual. Even as adults, they may have complicated feelings about your marriage, so make sure you speak with them ahead of time and let them set the level of involvement that is right for them.

Wedding roles for children should always take their personalities and preferences into account. You want your ceremony to be a happy time where everyone is comfortable and able to celebrate with you.

Choosing a Secular Wedding

 in Ceremony / Guests / Personalization / Secular / Secular wedding  tagged personalized wedding / secular ceremonies / secular ceremony / secular wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Choosing a secular wedding when parents or other important family members are religious can be challenge. You want your wedding day to be a celebration of love and of you. But if you and your family aren’t on the same page when it comes to religion it can be difficult.

A recent article in Brides magazine captured the issue perfectly, offering, “You deserve to have a wedding ceremony that is meaningful to you. You also deserve a wedding that is a celebration rather than a catalyst for hurt feelings and damaged relationships.”

Last week I wrote about ways to make your ceremony reflect you. Deciding whether or not to include religious content in your ceremony is certainly an important aspect of being authentic. An increasing number of couples are non-religious or at least non-practicing so opting for a secular ceremony makes a lot of sense. But wedding days are also about the people you love, and if they are deeply religious, choosing a secular wedding can open the door to a lot of negativity.

I’ve worked with many couples facing this issue and have seen their anxiety as they struggle to be authentic and respectful and caring all at the same time. While every situation is unique, I can share with you that I’ve had many religious parents and grandparents approach me after weddings to tell me how wonderful the ceremony was, and how well it reflected the couple.

Since secular ceremonies are not bound by religious requirements and don’t include a traditional sermon, there’s more flexibility to create a ceremony that’s all about you. We can tell your love story. We can include music and a reading that is meaningful to you or reflects your relationship. You can say vows that you’ve written yourselves or that you’ve chosen because they reflect the promises you feel in your hearts.

Interestingly, many guests don’t even notice the lack of religious content in a well written and delivered secular ceremony. They appreciate the focus on the couple and the flow of the ceremony. Choosing a secular ceremony is more about crafting a ceremony that truly reflects you than what you are leaving out (the religion part). If a secular ceremony is the right choice for you, stand together, stand proud, and start your wedding day with a ceremony you’re proud to call your own.

Making Your Ceremony Reflect You

 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Personalization / Readings / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged ceremony readings / personal ceremonies / personal ceremony / personalized vows / personalized wedding / readings / wedding officiant / wedding processional / wedding readings by

Making your ceremony reflect you kicks off your wedding day with a sparkle. Think about your personalities as individuals and who you are as a couple, and bring those qualities into your ceremony.

Begin at the beginning of your ceremony. Think about how you want to enter the space and with whom. We’ve all seen the “dance up the aisle” entrances by wedding parties, and if that’s you, that’s great. But maybe you’re like one of my brides whose parents had died. She opted to enter with her brother and sister-in-law and two nieces. They were her closest family and that felt right to her. Maybe you’ll choose to enter as a couple, because you’ve been together for a number of years and have established your life together, and that feels most authentic to you.

When it comes to the ceremony itself, think about ways to let your story shine. Share some of your experiences with your celebrant so they can be woven into the ceremony. These can be romantic proposals, funny home renovation stories, or amazing travel moments – whatever reflects who you are and the path you’ve walked to your wedding day. Picking a reading that really reflects how you feel about love, or marriage, or building your future together is another great way to bring your thoughts into the ceremony.

Don’t forget your vows – your best opportunity for making your ceremony reflect you. Either by writing your own vows or picking ones that speak to the promises you want to make to each other, you are sharing the core of the reason you’ve gathered for the day. If you are a couple that thrives on laughing together, bringing a bit of humor into your vows is fine. If you want to keep this moment more serious or romantic, that’s great, too.

Making your ceremony reflect you begins with hiring a celebrant who specializes in doing just that. If you don’t want a cookie cutter ceremony or one created by cutting and pasting from information on the internet, take the time to research officiants and celebrants in your area and hire a professional that will help you bring your ceremony to life.